When Zoë first received word from Mal that they would be at the hospital longer than anticipated, she ran through the locations of all the public baths in town, and the reveled in the prospect of a warm soak. This world even had natural hot springs! But when she found out why Mal would be delayed, she quickly swallowed her vacation plans and shifted her thoughts to preparing Serenity. She could tell by the tone of Mal’s voice that he didn’t want to stay at the hospital waiting, but also that he wouldn’t leave. Her heart laden with new burdens, Zoë went back to the boutique where she and Hawk had been finding work clothes for Inara, so she wouldn’t have to keep borrowing Zoë’s. Zoë didn’t like the boutique or the clothes that Hawk kept pulling off the rack, because they lacked the rugged, durability needed for labor, but Hawk insisted. “She’s an ex-Companion. Give her time to adjust. Something practical, but not pedestrian.” Zoë had just shaken her head and gone along with it, only a small part of her admitting that he was right. When she came back into the shop after talking to Mal, Hawk was at the counter purchasing their items. “Captain ready for us?” Hawk asked her, noting the weight of her expression and hoping to diffuse it. “We need to get back to the ship.” “Not the hospital?” “Jayne’s in surgery. The others are waiting there.” “Oh,” Hawk said, gathering the shopping bags and thanking the lady behind the register before heading out to the mule. He was silent for about half a block, before turning to Zoë. “Did you want to wait there too?” Zoë shook her head, her mind singly focused. “We need to get to Serenity. Set up the ship to fly similar to the shuttle.” “Any reason why?” Zoë rubbed her forehead, not wanting to be questioned as she was still piecing the plan together. “So Inara can fly the ship. We’ll need you taking third gun on the next job.” “Inara’s a sharp shooter.” “But weak in hand-to-hand combat. She can fly well enough to get us out, and presuming you’re not shot, you can take over once we’re in the air.” “Thanks for presuming. I don’t like getting shot.” Zoë pressed her palms together, her index fingers tapping her lip thoughtfully. “Can’t we just delay the job until Jayne recovers?” “In an ideal world,” Zoë acknowledged. “But we can’t afford to wait a week or a month or however long that takes.” “Right,” Hawk nodded hesitantly. “We need a decent plan for right now, not an ideal plan for later.” Zoë cast a sidelong glance at the man, noting the uncertainty he was trying unsuccessfully to hide. She realized that despite his obvious athleticism, she’d never actually seen Hawk in a fist fight. Not even when they went drinking and Mal started a brawl. She’d have to fix that. She couldn’t wait and do nothing. She had to stick to the plan.

*~*

Zoë perched in the pilot’s chair of Serenity, soaking in the warmth of the wooly covering that had once smelled so completely of Wash, she felt held by him just by sitting in it. These days, it smelled like a mixture of Inara and Hawk, but Zoë still closed her eyes and remembered the nights she’d spent in this very spot with her late husband. She was glad for the quiet on the bridge, and for the chance to relax. Her chores were done, she had food in her system, and no one had disturbed her for the last fifteen minutes. She tried desperately to stop thinking altogether and just be content in the moment. Hawk was grating against her nerves by being so accommodating to Inara. Inara irked her for fogging up the captain so much. Mal kept trying to ask her advice about Inara. Jayne was pretty much an invalid, and she kept getting confused about when she was feeding and medicating him because everyone was disrupting her schedule. And Kaylee… well Kaylee was a gorram pain in the ass, but also a pregnant pain in the ass who had defied all medical science, logic, and common sense by not miscarrying already. And while Zoë knew she should be happy for Kaylee, it just felt like a constant slap in the face, screaming taunts at her, because she’d failed to carry her own child. Breathe in. Breathe out. Silence. If she just soaked in Wash’s presence, she could dwell a moment in his comforting arms, and the cares of the world would disappear… even if only for a moment. Breathe in. Breathe out. But a moment was all she had. Hawk called up to the bridge saying that Kaylee was on a rampage. The young mechanic had been attacking the engine abusively with a wrench, sending sparks and bits flying. He’d grabbed her from behind, pulled her off the engine, and sent her to take a walk while he assessed the damage. Then he’d called up to Zoë in case Kaylee got the bright idea to ‘fix’ anything else. With a sigh, Zoë drew herself out of the chair and went to intercept the fuming mechanic. She didn’t have any trouble finding Kaylee. She just followed the sound of heavy things being tossed about in the cargo bay and prayed that nothing important was getting damaged. When Zoë hit the top of the catwalk, she saw Kaylee standing over Jayne’s weight set, apparently intent on bench pressing her frustration away. She was in the process of stripping down the weight on the bar to something more manageable, but wasn’t being too careful as to how she was doing it. The smaller weights on the end had essentially been ripped off and sent as projectiles across the room, leaving dents in the walls and landing heavily on the grated floor. As Kaylee yanked at the heavier weights, they dropped gracelessly to the floor, barely missing her toes. When she had stripped the bar of all its weight, Kaylee glared heavily at it, but didn’t lay down on the bench. With a shriek of anger, she picked up the bar and started swinging wildly at the walls and bulk heads, as though with a sledge hammer. “Hey,” Zoë hollered, side stepping a swing and maintaining her distance so as not to get hit. “Hey!” Kaylee paused, looking up at her with pained, tear-filled eyes, the bar poised over her head for another strike. “Put it down,” Zoë ordered. Kaylee lowered the bar, but didn’t let go. Zoë checked the support beams on the catwalk for damage. “You don’t break other people’s things,” she chastised firmly, reaching to take the bar from Kaylee. Kaylee let out a shriek, lifted the bar again and charged. Surprised and alarmed, Zoë side-stepped, moving quickly so as not to get hit. “He can’t use it!” she cried, swinging with emphasis, the bar clanging against the floor. “He can’t lift it.” Swing! Clang! “He can’t even sit up!” Swing! Crack! Zoë darted and caught the bar on a down swing, snapping it out of Kaylee’s hands. Kaylee fell to her knees, crying. “He can’t,” she screeched, sobbing uncontrollably. “And it’s because of me.” Zoë nudged the bar out of reach with her toe and cautiously approached Kaylee, half-expecting the girl to spring up and tackle her with superhuman strength. When she was close enough, Zoë pulled Kaylee into an embrace that was also an immobilizing tackle. “He don’t blame you,” Zoë soothed softly. “And he doesn’t want you blamin’ yourself.” Kaylee struggled to get free, but Zoë held her more firmly. “You should visit him,” Zoë suggested, to which Kaylee moaned and wriggled more fiercely to free herself. Kaylee fainted against her a few times, forcing her to shift weight to hold on. A simple trick – probably something Jayne had taught her – but Zoë, knew how to handle it. It wasn’t until they reached the edge of the stairs that Zoë realized she’d underestimated Kaylee’s tactics. With a forceful jerk, Kaylee cracked her head against Zoë’s jaw, knocking Zoë hard against the sharp edge for the stair. Zoë tasted the tang of blood on her tongue and felt the gash open on the back of her head, and for a brief moment, her vision blurred with spots. She responded by tackling Kaylee to the ground and the two grappled fiercely. Zoë held back, having the added challenge of not wanting to injure Kaylee or the baby, else it would’ve been a really short fight. They rolled their way back in the direction of the discarded weight bar – Kaylee reaching for it, Zoë pushing it away. Using a combination of arm and leg strength, Zoë launched Kaylee off her and the girl skidded across the floor, leaving a bit of skin behind on the grating. Zoë didn’t wait for her to stand again. She tackled Kaylee and locked her to the ground, holding her down. Kaylee stopped struggling, but Zoë wouldn’t be fooled twice. As she waited to catch her own breath, Zoë swallowed the blood on her tongue and examined Kaylee. A purple welt on her forehead, a long scrape across her cheek, a bloody lip. Zoë worried guiltily, having forced Kaylee to land hard on her stomach in that last tackle. Shifting her weight off Kaylee, Zoë sat up slowly, keeping a hand on Kaylee’s shoulders to deter movement. “Need to get a weave on this,” Zoë said, touching the scrape on Kaylee’s face. “Serenity won’t let me touch her,” Kaylee answered. Won’t let me near her.” “Is that why you were beating her with a wrench?” Zoë asked wryly, recognizing the irony that Kaylee had just fought the same battle with her that she’d had with Hawk and the engine a short while ago. “She doesn’t want me fixin’ her anymore.” Zoë nodded, recognizing Kaylee’s request to be left alone. “If Serenity’s broke, you fix her. Don’t matter what she wants. Matters what she needs.” Before Kaylee could object, Zoë scooped her up in her arms and headed for the Infirmary. She made it halfway there before Kaylee, kicking and screaming, managed to climb up her body, onto her shoulders, and leap out of her arms. Zoë chased Kaylee back into the cargo bay, at which point Kaylee ran into Hawk – literally – and fell over backwards like she’d just hit a brick wall. Hawk was in the process of cleaning up the mess with the weight set, and looked over at the fallen mechanic in surprise. She’d hardly affected his balance at all. “Seems your mess making isn’t confined to the engine room,” he chided, taking stock of her injuries. Zoë and Hawk exchanged a quick look, and this time Hawk scooped up Kaylee, gathering her limbs into a tight ball, and carrying her in a manner that had to be awkward, but that was very effective in immobilizing her. Kaylee cried out all the louder. Zoë led the way to the Infirmary, resisting the urge to cover her ears, wondering how they’d restrain Kaylee, what with Jayne still being in the main bed and all. That side countertop that served as their second bed had no restraints. When they finally reached the Infirmary, Hawk determined it would be easier if he sat on the bed and held Kaylee. Unable to run, she huddled against him, whining like an abused puppy while Zoë went in search of the antiseptic. “Hey, will you stop squealing,” Jayne complained, lifting his head slightly, startling everyone with the fact of his consciousness. “I’m trying to rest-cuperate.” Kaylee’s eyes shot open. “Jayne! You’re awake?” “Well I am now. What’s all the blubbering about?” Kaylee wriggled free of Hawk’s grip, and Zoë moved quickly to block the door. She needn’t have worried. Kaylee made a beeline for Jayne, her demons forgotten, her eyes filled with relief. “You’re awake,” she repeated incredulously, taking Jayne’s face in her hands, urgently kissing his cheeks and his forehead, until finally Jayne tilted his chin up and caught her lips with his own. The move surprised Kaylee enough to make her stop, but not so much that she pulled away. Jayne just smiled impishly, took her hand, and kissed the top, motioning for her to pull up a chair. “You finally came,” he congratulated. “A bit too noisy for my taste, but not unwelcome.” Kaylee pulled against his hand like a tether, shifting between two feet, her eyes circling the room. “I just can’t be in here. Simon’s ghost is everywhere in here.” “You seem to be doing fine now.” Smiling anemically, Kaylee’s focus fell on Jayne. “It’s not so bad when you’re in here too.” While the two chatted, Zoë tended to the scrapes and bruises on Kaylee’s face, and then had Hawk help her tend to the cut on her own head. Once the easy parts were done, Zoë looked at that gorram scanner and started setting things up to check out the baby. She wasn’t entirely sure how to use the machine, nor was she eager to learn. Every time she thought of Kaylee and the baby, her thoughts inevitably wandered over her own lost child. She didn’t even realize her hands were shaking until Hawk stilled them. “Let’s try the stethoscope method first,” he suggested softly. “No sense getting all confused using a complicated machine when a simple one will do.” Hawk already had the instrument in his hands and Zoë did not protest when he moved to use it. She leaned against the counter and watched as Hawk directed Kaylee to roll up her shirt and then listened against her belly. Kaylee had a white-knuckled grip on Jayne’s hand, but at least she was calm. Jayne, for his part, was sweating with the effort to keep his head upright. He looked to be swimming in one of his own t-shirts, his once well-honed muscles having shrunk and diminished with atrophy. “What’s the word on the tyke?” Jayne asked, yanking the stethoscope out of Hawk’s ears as the latter man stood up. “Seems okay,” Hawk answered, surrendering the instrument. Having finished his task, he gave Zoë’s shoulder an empathetic squeeze and headed out to finish cleaning the mess in the cargo bay before the Captain could find it and chew anyone out. “Boy or girl?” Jayne asked Kaylee tickling her belly eagerly. Zoë felt her heart twinge. She and Wash had never learned the sex of their child, but Wash always believed it was a girl. He’d named her Brianna and had even made up a song for her. They were going to tell the Captain after the job finished at Maidenhead. But then River happened. Zoë startled as Kaylee jumped up elatedly, her attention on Jayne, oblivious to Zoë’s pain. “Oh! You haven’t seen!” “Seen what?” Jayne asked. Without answering, Kaylee sprinted excitedly out of the Infirmary and Jayne hollered after her, “You better come back!” Kaylee winked at him from the hall before disappearing up the stairs, at which point his head dropped against the pillow, completely spent. Zoë approached the bed, checking his vitals, trying to remember the last time Jayne had eaten. She filled a cup with water at the sink and handed it over, and Jayne finished it in one gulp. “What happens to her when I die?” he asked sorrowfully between heavy breaths, his eyes gazing out the window at the point where Kaylee had just disappeared. “You ain’t dying.” “Then why am I still attached to this machine?” “For Kaylee. It blinks with every heartbeat.” Jayne frowned, then grimaced as he twisted his abdomen. “She hasn’t come near here before today. Not even out the window to look.” “She comes at night,” Zoë assured, cleaning Jayne’s face with a damp cloth. “She sits on the stairs and watches the blinking light from the monitor reflecting off that back wall.” “What happens when it stops blinking?” “It ain’t stopping.” “Not this time. But next time I go out on a job …” “Then we take care of her. Just like we’ve been doing.” Jayne grunted, propping himself on his elbows, and Zoë took hold of his torso to help him sit. It was amazing how easy it was to move him now. He seemed light as a feather compared to before. “I ain’t doing much of anything,” he groused. Zoë didn’t know how to answer. “How’s the pain?” Jayne leaned his head against the wall, catching his breath, right hand feeling at his waist and hip, like he wanted to draw a weapon. “I would kill for a strong cup of coffee and a Fruity Oaty bar.” Zoë smiled. “Alright, but don’t get used to being waited on. I’ll leave you dirtside if you milk this.” “Where’s my gun?” Zoë laughed and left to get the food as Kaylee bounced back into the room, capture in hand. “Hey, Zoë, you haven’t watched this either have you?” Zoë looked hesitantly at the capture, her heart breaking with her own loss. She should tell Kaylee, just so the girl would know and not torment her like this. “Later.” “Come on, Zoë,” Kaylee goaded cheerfully. “It’s real short.” “I – later.” Quickly, Zoë ran out of the Infirmary and upstairs to the galley to find Jayne his Fruity Oaty bar and some other soup-like food. She fought to swallow her own grief, promising herself that she could cry about it later, in the privacy of her own bunk. Not here. Not now. There was work to be done. “Hey, haven’t you already had your share for the day?” Hawk teased, nearly startling her out of her skin as he entered the room. Zoë looked at the coveted Oaty bar in her hand. “This is for Jayne.” “Sure it is.” Zoë set the treat down on a tray next to a cup of coffee and a bowl of the chicken broth that they’d been keeping warm for the past three meals. “Have you seen the Captain?” Zoë asked, noticing that Mal had not barged in on anything that afternoon. “I’m surprised he didn’t hear the ruckus.” Hawk nodded mischievously toward the crew quarters. “I saw Inara go into his bunk a few hours ago.” Zoë raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. She just finished preparing the food tray.

*~* * Up next: You know it… what have Mal and Inara been up to? I intend it to be more fluffy than smutty, but you never know what might happen when I put those two in a story together.

Over the First Hump