Job Satisfaction

A/N: Well, here it is. Please don’t kill me! Remember, sequel on the wayyyyyyyyyyyy….. And, apologies for the formatting, which has all of a sudden messed itself up on ALL my fics (but apparently, no one else’s, thanks FFF.net!) So if it’s messed up on this one… sorry. LOL.

Chapter Ten

To see translations, hover mouse over Chinese word.

Epilogue

He found her on the beach, sitting with her toes in the waves, gazing out to sea. He approached her softly, not wanting to scare or disturb her. Her hair was whipping round her head in the strong wind, and he could see silent tears forming rivers down her face. He coughed softly.

“Kaylee?”

At his voice, she frantically wiped her face on her sleeve before turning to look up at him.

“What d’ya want, Simon?”

There was no anger in her voice, just disappointment and sadness, and Simon found himself wishing she would shout at him, punch him, even. Anything but that disappointment.

“Kaylee,” he said again, “We… we need to talk.”

She turned away again, watching the waves. “Ain’t nothing to talk about.”

He knelt at her side, and she flinched visibly, but undeterred, he reached out and took her arm.

“Kaylee, please, you have to let me explain…”

“Explain what?” she snapped. “That you think everything that happened was my fault? That you’re just gonna toss me aside every time River needs you?”

“No!” Simon said, panicking. “It’s not like that!”

She snorted disbelievingly, and tore her arm from his grip.

“Please,” Simon said. “Kaylee, I am so sorry. What I said was unforgivable, I know, but you have to believe me, I didn’t mean it.”

More tears spilled from her eyes. “Yes you did. It’s probably the most honest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“How can you say that? Kaylee, I screwed up, I know, but I will make it up to you.”

She shook her head. “Too late, Simon.”

“No,” he choked, “No, don’t say that.”

He cupped her face in his hands, holding her firmly in place so she couldn’t turn away.

“Listen to me, Kaylee. Just let me speak, okay?”

She nodded reluctantly, and Simon loosened his grip somewhat, before taking a deep breath.

“Ever since I met you … I haven’t treated you the way you deserve. I know that. I was rude, and when I wasn’t being rude I was too much of a wuss to ever follow through. But, you have to understand … I was depending on you. I didn’t even realize how much, but I was. You’re so … perfect, and I’ve done nothing to deserve you, and I don’t deserve a second chance, but if you give me one, I swear, Kaylee, I will get it right this time. I have to, because I think … I need you.”

“Simon,” she murmured, blinded by her own tears.

“Listen,” he insisted softly. “I was so scared that something would happen to River, that I would have failed her. Because ever since I left Osiris, she’s been the only thing stopping me from feeling useless. I know it’s no excuse. I don’t know why I took it out on you, maybe it was because you’d let me before. When you disappeared… I forgot all about River, Kaylee. All I could think about was you.”

“Simon,” she whispered, “I tried to tell you over an’ over that I wanted to help River too. You’re always so determined not to let anyone help you with her. I thought if I found her, you’d know I cared too.”

He closed his eyes. “So what changed?”

Kaylee shrugged. “I had a lot of time to think. I was scared, an’… I just don’t want anything like this to ever happen again.

“It won’t” he told her, but she didn’t respond.

“Kaylee, I…” Just say it. “I don’t know how this happened... I was trying so hard to stop it from happening… but I…”

I love you.

She pressed a finger to his lips before he could voice the words. His eyes met hers, and he knew, before she even opened her mouth what she was going to say.

“No,” he gasped, wanting to cover his ears.

She took his hands sadly. “I’m sorry, Simon. It just ain’t enough. I ain’t ever hurt like this before, and I just can’t face ever feeling like this again.”

“You won’t,” he breathed, “I promise.”

She shook her head. “We was just kiddin’ ourselves, Simon. It weren’t ever gonna work. How could it? We’re just too different.”

“Kaylee…” he protested, but she cut him off.

“You gotta look after River. It’s your job, remember. The most important one. You don’t got space inside for anyone else. And I gotta stop pretendin’. I was happy before you came along an’ I can be happy now.”

He watched, unable to speak, as she leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek, then stood.

“I accept your apology, Simon. And I ain’t mad at you for what you said. You’re forgiven. But it don’t change anything.”

She dropped his hands, and looked him in the eye once more.

“We’re over, Simon.”

Without another word, Kaylee turned and walked back towards Serenity, leaving a speechless Simon on the beach. She walked as fast as she could, silent tears streaming down her face, until he was too far away to hear. Then, with an anguished sob, she broke into a run, leaving Simon Tam as just a dot on the horizon behind her.