BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - SUSPENSE

SHINY

Orphaned Soul, Part 6
Wednesday, August 4, 2004

Inara and Shephard Book try to help a troubled girl who has lost her brother, and perhaps her mind.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3295    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Read: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

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Book landed the shuttle a short distance away from the crash site to avoid the debris. He laid a comforting hand on Inara’s shoulder as he passed the weeping companion on his way out the airlock. Save the injured first, console the grieving later.

As he reached the door, an odd scratching noise drew his attention back into the shuttle. He turned to see River, awake and silently terrified, scrambling away from him and clawing desperately at the far bulkhead. He glanced down at Inara, but the companion was in no condition to tend to the girl.

“It’s okay, River. I’m just going to go see to the others,” Book reassured her. “They may be hurt, and in need of –”

“no! don’t…killers…murderers…run!” River was nearly apoplectic with fear.

Book considered explaining that not all of the crew were responsible for her brother’s death; that it was the result of one grief-stricken former soldier taking refuge in anger and violence. But there were more pressing concerns than even this girl’s tenuous mental state at the moment.

As he stepped out into the barren desert, he paused to survey the damage. It was worse than he had expected. Shuttle two lay twisted and smoldering, propped up precariously against a rocky outcropping. Black, smoking debris lay everywhere. It would be a miracle if even one of the crew survived the landing.

“wait! no! don’t…don’t…” River’s frightened whimpers followed him out of the shuttle. Book pushed up his sleeves. He had better get started.

As he approached the downed shuttle, he spotted a charred figure that had been thrown clear of the wreckage. The body lay unmoving, face-down next to the half-buried remains of the shuttle’s port stabilizer. The shepherd knelt next to the corpse, noting with distaste the revolver still strapped to the man’s leg. His calloused hands clenched in frustration, Book couldn’t decide whether to pray or curse. Was this what life was like, out here?

Setting his jaw, he reached out to turn over the body –

“MURDERERS!” River was clutching the shuttle door, her wide eyes darting erratically across the broken landscape.

Book started to rise. In her condition, the girl might actually be a danger to herself. As he turned back toward Inara’s shuttle, he caught a sudden movement out of the corner of his eye. Could someone have actually survived the crash? He turned back toward the wreckage. A figure was rising slowly out of the scattered debris. On his left, another. A third to his right. More emerged from the twisted remains of the shuttle itself. Every face horrifyingly pierced, scarred, and tattooed in grotesque patterns.

“murderers” River sobbed softly.

“oh.”

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Continue to Part 7

COMMENTS

Wednesday, August 4, 2004 7:15 PM

MYORANGEHAT


Ooooooo!
Would it be greedy of me to ask for more? :D
Oh well, I'll do it any way. More please. :)

Wednesday, August 4, 2004 8:51 PM

AMDOBELL


When will people learn to listen to River? She warned Book but he wouldn't listen now the ruttin' Reavers seem to have our survivors surrounded. This is just so grim, am hoping you have some good waiting to spring out of all this. Ali D
You can't take the sky from me

Wednesday, August 4, 2004 10:32 PM

GUILDSISTER


Hey, Shiny--you say you're a first-time writer, yet you have an excellent grasp of the essentials of writing technique. Well-focused use of character point-of-view (sticking in one character's head at a time rather than jumping about and/or going omniscient), as well as good varience in sentence structure, active voice writing (rather than passive voice) with strong verb selections--you hit the mark on all those counts. And you create very fine imagery, emotion, and sensation with economical use of words. Just a good job all the way around. Plus I'm hooked on the story you've created. Please keep it up!

And--hey!--you figured out how to do embedded hyperlinks--good job ;-)

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 9:17 AM

COSMICFUGITIVE


Ooooooh! Poor Shepherd! How the hell are they gonna get out of this?!

Shiny work!


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