PHASE ONE - Part Four
Saturday, June 2, 2007

Simon fights to get the message through. Angsty, S/K


Phase One

A/N: Fourth Part of Four. Enjoy!!! (There's still an epilogue to come.)

PHASE ONE: Prologue



PHASE ONE: Part Three

Day Thirty One

When he woke, he kept his eyes closed. He was already trapped inside his head, looking at the world outside would only taunt him.

He could feel Kaylee at his side, and resisted the urge to try to tell her. It would only frustrate him, and she wouldn’t understand. Who could blame her? He was making less sense than River had when she had first joined the crew. Simon’s eyes prickled, and he felt shamed as a tear escaped.

Kaylee, who had evidently been watching him, brushed the tear away so softly he barely felt her.


Reluctantly, he opened his eyes.

“It’s okay,” she said, kissing his forehead. “We got plenty more medicine.”

“No…” he murmured half-heartedly. There was no point in even trying. Hell, he couldn’t even beg her to kill him like he wanted to.

The door slid open, and River appeared.

“Be quiet, Simon,” she said, pressing a finger to his still lips. “Don’t…make ….a… sound.”

River, help me! It’s the wrong medicine, River. It’s the wrong medicine.

She tilted her head to the side. “I can’t hear you, Simon.”

Great. What’s the use of having a psychic sister if she can only read minds selectively?

If only he could show them his encyclopaedia…

“En…ency…” he stammered. Kaylee and River exchanged sad glances.

Oh, what was the use? He’d never be able to say the word. Whoever had the bright idea to call it an encyclopaedia anyway? It was a ridiculous word.

Another idea occurred to him, and he spoke again. “Pen.”

“What, sweetie?” Kaylee asked.

“Pen. Paper…”

River swiftly left the room, and Simon tried to pull himself into a sitting position. Thankfully, today his body had decided to only paralyse itself from the waist down. Simon could live without his legs, for the moment.

“Careful,” Kaylee said, helping him. She kissed his temple, and he smiled, trying to hearten her.

River returned, holding a sheaf of paper and a large pen, and this time Mal was with her.

“What’s goin’ on? Why’s he sitting up?”

Kaylee shrugged. “He wanted to.”

River placed the paper in front of Simon giving him a book to lean on. Then she handed him the pen.

“Can he hold that?” Kaylee asked hesitantly.

“Yes,” Simon snapped. “Yes…”

Slowly, painstakingly, he scrawled a large, shaky, letter ‘e’ on the paper. Kaylee squeezed his hand encouragingly. Spurred on, he drew an ‘n.’ Only when he next looked at it, it was a ‘p.’ Angry at himself, he scribbled it out.

“It’s okay, you’re doin’ real good,” Kaylee said. “Take your time.”

Simon nodded, and tried again. This time, his ‘n’ looked correct, as did his ‘c’ and his ‘y.’ The next ‘c’ was harder, and after the fourth attempt he pointed at the first ‘c’ with his pen.

Mal nodded. “Another ‘c.’

The ‘l’ was easy enough, and so was the ‘o.’ The ‘p’ took him about 3 minutes, but he got there eventually.

“Encyclop…” Kaylee read.

Half way through his ‘a,’ River got it. She moved to his case, and pulled out the encyclopaedia.

Simon smiled in relief. “Yes.”

He opened the case and slipped in the ‘medical history’ disk. Then, he realised the next word he was going have to spell.


Using the special ‘on-screen’ pen, he scribbled a ‘b,’ and was relieved when the machine recognised it as such. The ‘e’ was trickier. By the time he’d written the ‘x,’ he noticed River’s lip’s moving as she tried to figure out what he was spelling.

He almost gave up on the ‘y,’ but a soft smile from Kaylee kept him going, and the ‘o’ and the ‘l’ were relatively easy afterwards. The ‘i’ kept registering as another ‘l,’ however, and after several attempts, Simon simply pointed at his own eye with the pen. Kaylee nodded and entered the letter for him.

Happily, Simon scribbled the ‘n’, and pressed the search button. As he knew it would, the chemical’s full name appeared, followed by a brief history. Satisfied, he pressed the ‘read’ button, and the machine’s mechanical voice began to speak.

‘Bexyolin. A man-made substance, first created in the year 2020, on Earth-That-Was. Originally an early attempt at creating an alternative to incarceration, the chemical was supposed to affect a person’s ability to communicate without causing any lasting damage, meaning prisoners could be kept in low security lock-downs, freeing up money and resources.

However, the chemical was discarded when found to have devastating effects if used in the long term. Symptoms manifested as inability to form sentences, though recovered sufferers claimed to have full possession of their wits throughout. A unique form of paralysis, which spread sporadically through the body, was another symptom.

If taken daily over a long period of time, patients would eventually became ‘trapped in their own bodies and minds,’ and once this point was reached, the effects were usually irreversible. The substance was adopted as a form of torture, used on terrorists during the 2020’s, before all known traces of the substance were wiped out.”

As the encyclopaedia proceeded to describe how the chemical worked, Simon hit the pause button, silencing the machine. Mal, River, and Kaylee watched him in silence, as he pointed first at the screen, and then at the bottle of green medicine. He collapsed back against his pillows, exhausted, and waited for them to connect the dots.

“Oh my god,” Kaylee whispered, her voice trembling. “Oh my god.”

“I don’t understand,” Mal said, picking up the bottle. “Why would you have bottles of this stuff, and why would you…?” he trailed off, realisation hitting him. “The medicine’s been tampered with?”

Simon nodded, his eyes beginning to flutter as his fatigue took over.

“Simon?” Kaylee said, reaching out to brush hair from his face. “Are you okay?”

“Tired,” he choked.

She kissed his temple, helping him lie back down. “You sleep, honey. We’re gonna get to the bottom of this. An’ you’re gonna be just fine before long.”

Simon was too far gone to reply, but a small smiled flitted across his face. Feeling Kaylee’s soft lips against his cheek once more, he waited for sleep to claim him.

The last thing he was aware of was Mal shepherding the others from his room. “Kaylee, call everyone up to the galley. River, bring that.” The encyclopaedia slipped from Simon’s fingers at Mal’s order, and Simon allowed himself to drift away, feeling for the first time in a month, safe.

Day Thirty Three

When he next awoke, he was acutely aware of having slept for a long time. Presumably as a result of going over twenty four hours without a dose of the drug, he felt marginally more alive. He forced his eyes open, and was pleased to feel a dull sense of warmth throughout his entire body. It had been so long since his covers had brought him warmth.

“Hey there, Doc.”

It was Mal, speaking from across the room where he’d been leaning, watching Simon sleep. Simon would have been disturbed by this if the concern in the captain’s eyes hadn’t been clear. With the beginnings of a smile, Simon cleared his throat.


“Want you to try saying something for me,” Mal said, crossing the room to perch beside him. “Betty Botter bought some butter but she said that butter’s bitter.”

“What?” Simon said weakly, and then snorted. “Jackass.”

Mal smirked. “She sells sea shells on the sea shore?”

“Shut… up,” Simon said evenly.

“Seriously,” Mal said, growing solemn. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” Simon informed him. “…better,” he added as an after thought.

“Better than the bitter butter?” Mal asked.

Simon couldn’t help it. He laughed.

Day Thirty Four.

Kaylee was the first thing he saw when he next opened his eyes.

She was watching him, her eyes wide and somehow distant. She saw him wake, but didn’t speak.

“Hey,” he said by way of greeting. Having regained some limited movement, he reached out towards her.

As their eyes met, without warning, her face began to tremble, and silent tears began to pour down her face. He watched helplessly as her entire body tensed, soundless sobs wracking through her body almost painfully. She gasped for breath, the pressed her lips tightly together, as if to stop any sound from escaping.

“Kaylee,” he protested, straining for her.

She shook her head, unable to speak as the torrent of salty water continued to fall from her eyes. She hugged herself tightly, trying to stop her body from its insistent shaking.

Deciding this had gone on long enough, Simon gritted his teeth against the pain and pulled himself into a sitting position. In one fluid, if clumsy movement, he drew her to him, cradling her in his arms as she wept. As he lifted his hand to stroke her hair, a loud, strangled wail escaped her lips, and she leaned into him, sobbing out loud as he held her and rocked her in his weakened arms.

What felt like minutes passed; Simon simply soothed her as best he could, and waited for her to purge herself completely as he suspected she needed to. Even though she was really only leaning against him, his body began to ache from supporting her, and as her sobs trailed off, he shifted apologetically.

“I’m sorry, Simon,” she gulped in horror, sitting back. “I’ve hurt you!”

“Fine,” he said, shaking his head.

Unconvinced, she wiped the remnants of tears from her face. “I don’t think so, Simon Tam. You lie down this instant.” She hiccupped, and he smiled at her fondly before obeying.

“Lie …with me,” he said, settling against the pillows. “It… okay.”

Smiling through her tears, Kaylee nodded and curled up beside him, tucking her head into his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I just…”

“It …okay.” He repeated. “Okay.”

She sniffed. “I just can’t stop thinkin’ about it,” she admitted, sounding dazed. “I mean… I was givin’ you some o’ them injections.”

“Kaylee,” Simon cut in, knowing where this was going.

“It was us makin’ you ill, Simon,” Kaylee said, not to be deterred. “It was me.”

“Not… your fault.”

She looked over at him sadly. “Yes it was.”

“No,” he told her, before leaning in to capture her lips in his. The kiss was brief and gentle, but when he broke away she was smiling.

She sniffed again. “I almost lost ya, Simon. An’ hearing what that stuff does… what it must be like for you…”

“Getting …better,” he informed her, and she smiled.

“I know. But still… they used it to torture people, Simon.”

He reached for her hand, and entangled his fingers with hers. “All … over now,” he said, and kissed her once more. “All over.”

When she beamed at him some more, he continued. “Besides… made me stop… idiot.”

Kaylee giggled. “Nah, hon, you’re still an idiot.”

“Thanks.” He stuck out his tongue.

“You’re welcome.”

There was a comfortable silence as they looked at each other lovingly.

“Meant… what I said,” he said, resting his forehead against hers.

Kaylee beamed at him. “What was that?” she teased.

“I … love you,” he said, blushing as he spoke.

With a delighted squeal, Kaylee covered his mouth with her own, kissing him gently but fervently. He pressed back, trying to return her passion, but his strength failed him and after a few heart stopping moments, he broke away. Catching his breath, he saw her eyes widen happily as he leant back in, kissing her languidly. He felt her shudder blissfully, and pulled her closer.

“Love you, too,” she said breathlessly, when they finally parted.

He grinned, then without warning, yawned loudly. Kaylee giggled.

“Think you should sleep some more, sweetie,” she said, guiding him back onto the pillow.

Simon groaned in protest. “Slept enough,” he told her.

“An’ each time you wake up you’re doin’ a bit better,” Kaylee finished for him. “So I’d say it’s a good thing.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Guess …you’re right.”

Kaylee leaned down and kissed him softly as his eyes closed helplessly.

“I’m always right.”

Day Thirty Six

“Simon!” Inara gasped as the young man hobbled round the corner. “What are you doing out of bed?”

“I had to do something to stop him sulking,” Kaylee told Inara, her arm looped around Simon as she guided him into a seat.

“Wasn’t sulking,” Simon said, grinning despite himself.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kaylee teased. She turned back to Inara. “He’s got an hour, tops, and then it’s back to bed.”

Simon pulled an exaggerated face, and both women were laughing as the clatter of footsteps announced someone’s arrival.

“Huh,” Jayne said, as his eyes landed on Simon. “I thought you was a goner.”

“Thanks, Jayne,” Simon said, “Your concern… touching.”

Wash chuckled, entering behind Jayne. “Good to have you back, Simon.”

Day Thirty Eight

“Silly,” River said, effectively ruining Simon’s fun as he attempted to balance the chopstick on his nose. He sniffed, giving up and turning to his sister.

“You used to … love that when we were kids,” he said defensively.

She didn’t miss a beat. “That’s because we were kids.”

“Fair enough,” Simon chuckled. “What you drawing?”

She leaned over the paper so he couldn’t see. “Surprise.”

“Who for?” he asked, trying to move her. Having still not fully regained his strength, he was unable to make her budge.

“You,” she said calmly. “Not finished.”

Simon grinned. “Okay. I’ll let you get on with it.”

He stood, only swaying for a moment before regaining his balance. River didn’t look up, but smiled.

“Glad I can hear you again, Simon.”

Day Thirty Nine

“Simon,” Kaylee gasped, breaking away. “That’s it. No more kissin’. It’s banned.”

“Banned?” Simon repeated, smirking. “Why?”

“Cos,” she said, still a little breathless, “You keep getting’ me all hot an’ bothered, then refusin’ to follow through.”

Simon leaned in, and despite her resolution she didn’t protest as his lips gently pressed against her own. “I’m sorry,” he murmured huskily.

She wriggled closer. “See, you’re doin’ it again.”

“Sorry,” he repeated, not pausing in his mission as he trailed kisses across her jaw line and down her neck. She moaned a little, and he felt a twinge of regret as his body responded, knowing he still wasn’t up to following through. Though his recovery had been nothing short of remarkable, he still felt stiff and sore all over.

“Please,” she whispered, and he moved back up to capture her lips once more.

“Can’t,” he replied. “We’ve waited so long now… I want it to be worth the wait.”

Her eyes flashed with mischief. “It will be.”

“You won’t be saying that when I collapse in agony half way through,” he told her wryly. She giggled a little at the image, and nodded.

“Okay. But you gotta behave,” she said, looking at him sternly.

“Where’s the fun in that?” he asked in a low voice.

Kaylee pouted. “Simon!” But her complaints died as his lips crashed down over hers, and she kissed him back, resigning herself to being wound up tight for the foreseeable future.

Day Forty.

“Well,” Mal said, surveying the table. “It’s been quite a month.”

Jayne snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Doc almost died, but didn’t. Let’s toast.”

“Actually,” Mal said, glowering at Jayne. “I think that’s a shiny idea.” He raised his glass. “To Simon,” he announced, then looked over at the doctor. “Good to have you back.”

There were murmurs of agreement as everyone drank to Simon, and he blushed, squeezing Kaylee’s hand a little tighter.

“Really,” he stuttered, “no need to make a fuss…”

“See,” Jayne said pointedly, “Even the Doc agrees. Can we eat now?”

Mal rolled his eyes. “Okay ladies and gentlemen. And Jayne. Dig in.”

When the meal had ended, and the crowd dispersed, River jumped to her feet and moved to block Simon as he and Kaylee made to retreat to his bunk.

“River,” he said, exasperated, “What are you…?”

“Time for your present now,” she said, and held out the card, beaming.

Speechless, Simon took the card in his hands and stared down at it. It was a drawing, or rather, several small drawings. Simon wondered whether River had witnessed the moments she had drawn, or whether they’d been made up, or whether they’d happened and River just knew somehow.

In the left corner, Wash and Zoe were snuggled together in the pilot’s seat. Wash’s arm was looped protectively around Zoe, his eyes focused on a tiny plastic dinosaur in his hand, his mouth open as if he was explaining something. By the look on Zoe’s face, she wasn’t listening, but staring at him with fond amusement.

Opposite them, Jayne was working out on the bench. The shepherd was standing behind him, and both were laughing freely. Simon thought he’d never seen either look so relaxed. The shepherd hand rested lightly on the bar, not interfering but ready to help if needed.

In the bottom corner, Inara was sitting at the head of the table, smiling indulgently and with some amusement as she looked on at what Simon presumed was the rest of the crew. She held a delicate mug in her hand, about to take a sip.

To the right of this picture, was a sketch of River, sitting curled up in a chair in the passenger area. A blissful smile graced her face, and she was drawing happily. At closer inspection, Simon saw that the picture she was drawing was a miniature copy of the one he held in his hands.

In the right corner, Mal stood, looking out at something and looking content. One arm was raised above his head, resting lightly on one of Serenity’s pipes, as if patting it reassuringly.

And in the centre of the page lay Simon and Kaylee, curled up together on his bed, there hands intertwined.

Simon smiled.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, not taking his eyes off the paper.

“Welcome,” River said, and with a swift kiss to his cheek she was gone.

“Wow,” said Kaylee, peering over his shoulder. “She’s a real good drawer.”

“I told you,” Simon said, dragging his eyes from the Kaylee in the picture to the Kaylee before him. “She’s a real good everything.”

Kaylee giggled. “Come on, let’s go stick it up in your bunk.”

“No,” Simon said, shaking his head. “I want to put it where everyone can see it.”

After pinning the picture up in the common area, Simon and Kaylee retreated to his bunk, Simon protesting slightly.

“I’m really okay,” he insisted, as she guided him to the bed.

“Can’t be too careful,” Kaylee argued, smiling a little.

“I’m fully recovered,” Simon told her, “I swear.”

Kaylee smiled again, this time a little mischievously.

“You don’t need no rest?”

Simon shook his head. “No.”

“Well then,” Kaylee said, her grin growing. “I still think we’re in the right place.”

And with out another word, she leant in to kiss the slightly confused look off Simon’s face, and shivered in delight when his hands closed around her and pulled her down on to the bed with him.

*Smiles hopefully* Comments?

PHASE ONE: Epilogue


Saturday, June 2, 2007 5:23 AM


Ok, 'cause you asked so nicely.

I am so very happy that Simon has recovered. I was very scared that you were going to kill him. Actually, I still am, there's still an epilogue isn't there?

Anyhow, fav line was “You won’t be saying that when I collapse in agony half way through.” I pictured that and LMAO.

And as always, please update soon!

Saturday, June 2, 2007 6:17 AM


Yay! Everyone is ok, I love ending like that cause I've read stories were half the people end up dead (normal ficton, not S/K stuff) and it sucks!

I enjoyed the little story and I hope to read more soon. I wonder what that Blue Sun dude is gonna say when he sees Simon walking around XD

Saturday, June 2, 2007 7:23 AM


Excellent work!!! I'm glad everything worked out (for now). I liked your description of the drawings River gave Simon. I could piture it like it was in front of me!

Saturday, June 2, 2007 7:45 AM


Oh boy - while this was a shiny ending, I too am concerned with the epilogue and what it may bring ... although it could just be some really great smut with Simon and Kaylee finally giving into their feelings for one another ... But I really loved this as well - thanks so much for sharing!

Saturday, June 2, 2007 8:12 AM


LOL! This, too was my favorite line: “You won’t be saying that when I collapse in agony half way through.” very funny.

Where is the man who gave this medicine to Simon? Presumably he'd be back to snatch River, yes? Thinking Simon out of the way . . .

Looking forward to the epilogue.

Saturday, June 2, 2007 6:41 PM


Well now...gotta say this was a mighty shiny penultimate chapter here, Chazzer. Though I wonder if the epilogue will be all kinds of smutty or will it help start...Phase Two;D



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Angst ahoy. Simon and Kaylee need to talk.

Things have to end, one way or the other. Simon takes aim, but can he pull the trigger? Action and Angst.

Vents are useful things. Mal plays the messenger boy, Simon learns how to be intimidating, and Jayne doesn’t take the hint. Big Damn Action ensues.

Regan plants the seed of doubt in Kaylee’s mind, while Jayne, Simon and River hatch a plan. A cunning hat and a girl with a gun? Yeah, this is gonna go great. Meanwhile, Mal rethinks his attitude to Simon.

Kaylee is in Regan Tam’s clutches, but all is not as it seems. River decides to clean up Simon’s mess. Mal clutches at straws, and Jayne clutches his big stick. Serenity has some visitors…and then she has some more.

Mal considers childproofing the ship when he discovers Simon and Jayne are gone. Regan makes some progress and Simon learns what it takes to buy a gun. As always, a little angsty, but not too much.

What’s going on? No one’s quite sure… Simon has some serious regrets and turns to an unusual source for comfort, and Mal is sick of the doctor causing trouble. More angst as the crew is being whittled down. S/K

When Simon has made his mind up on something, there’s no swaying him. And right now, he’s decided to be an idiot. Big Damn Angst, as the crew try to find the missing River.

Some people just can’t catch a break. Jayne thinks Simon had a deprived childhood, Wash is left out, Simon gets to go fishing and Kaylee has been waiting long enough. A little fluff, a little smut, and a whole lot of things going not smooth. R, I guess.

The crew decide to hide while figuring out their next move. Sun, sea and sand … all Kaylee is missing is her boyfriend. Simon is torn and River plays ‘I Spy.’ A good healthy mix of fluff and angst.