Inara watched him sleeping, and wondered yet again at herself. I've been on this ship for so long, I thought I’d seen everything. But he’s here, asleep in my shuttle. She shook her head. And he looks like a little boy.

She sat down on the sofa, far enough away from him not to wake him, but close enough to study him. Perversely glad his eyes were closed, she could still summon their blue from memory, the way they darkened when he was mad at her, when they were arguing over some little nothing that had blown up out of all proportion. Like those dolls. People love those! She smiled. Oh, Mal, you have no taste whatsoever.

His hair needed a cut, she could see that. Perhaps she should offer. Although whether it would be possible to make him sit still long enough to even put the towel around his neck, let along get close to him with a pair of sharp scissors … well, that was something she’d have to plan. Perhaps get Kaylee involved. If she could be dragged away from the young doctor.

Right now, though, his bangs were falling into his eyes. More than once she’d seen him push them back, mostly when they were running for their lives from someone determined to end them, but once in a while when he thought no-one was looking.

She was always looking, but not when he could see. Does he know I watch him?

He mumbled in his sleep, turning his body a little so she could see his back. Such a strong back. With that curve down to … She remembered seeing it in its entirety in the desert, when Saffron had abandoned him, and although she didn’t say, would never say, it compared very favourably to many she’d seen. A few more scars, perhaps … and there are more now. And scars mental, too.

He didn’t talk about Wash. Not surprising, when you consider what they’d been through. How did they survive? When he won’t tell me what happened, that it was so bad, how did they come out in relatively one piece? When Zoe came back with Wash, and just that bit of Mal … Inara shivered. I thought he was going to die. And I couldn’t tell him how I felt.

Mal snuffled in his sleep, just a word leaking out. “’Nara.”

She smiled. I wonder what he’s dreaming about. If it’s a good dream. Perhaps our kiss? She tasted her lips and hoped so. Although if it’s about us, we’re probably fighting. Oh, Mal. I don’t want to fight with you. I want …

He scratched his neck, and pulled his legs higher.

I should have made him take his boots off. If he tears the satin … She smiled indulgently. It’s only a thing. It doesn’t mean what you think it does. That’s what River says, isn’t it? Just a thing. Not like the man. This man who I’ve wanted to –

“I ain't in my bunk,” Mal said quietly.

“Ah, no.”

He rolled over onto his back, only just stopping himself from sliding onto the floor. He looked at her. “Did I … did I fall asleep?”

“You did.” She let her lips curl a little.

“How long?”

“Not long.”

“Right.” He struggled into a sitting position, then ran his hands through his hair.

“I could trim that for you,” she offered. “If you’d like.”

He looked surprised. “You think I need a cut?”

“Only a little.”

“Oh. Well …”

“I mean, I'm sure Jayne would offer, but he might make more of a mess of it than me.”

“No, that’s …” He seemed flustered. “Look, I'm sorry. Didn’t mean to impose on you like this.”

“It was no imposition, Mal.”

“It’s just … ain't been sleeping all that well for a while. Not what with the stuff’s been going on.”

“I understand.”

He stood up. “Better get back to my own bunk.”

She took a deep breath. “You … don’t have to go.”

“I … I don’t?”

“If you want you can sleep here. You looked so peaceful.”

“Sleep here. With you.”

She couldn’t help the small smile. “Not with me, Mal. But on the sofa. Only I think you should take your boots off first.”

He stared at her, as if he was calculating. “Well …”

“I mean, you said we were landing on Boros soon. So a short nap might not be a bad idea.”

“Oh, yeah.” He nodded. “Boros.”

“So you could stay.”

His blue eyes gazed into her soul. “Not sure that’s a good idea, ‘Nara. I stay and we’ll probably end up cussing each other.”

“I don’t cuss,” she pointed out.

“I do. Something fierce. And as it’s been such a nice visit, I don’t really want to spoil it.”

“Oh.” She felt let down. “Of course.”

“Though, I’d kinda like to say …” He licked his lips, and she wished his tongue were on hers. “I guess I just want you to know I'm glad you didn’t go back to the training house. You know, after Miranda.”

She felt the blush creep up her skin, a warmth suffusing her. “Thank you, Mal. I'm glad I didn’t go either.”

He grinned, and her heart flipped. “Think I’d better go before I open my mouth too wide and jump in with both feet.” He backed up and nearly knocked over the small table by the door. “Sorry,” he said, stopping a bronze plate from falling just in time.

She smiled at him. “That’s okay.”

He turned to go.

No.

Crossing the floor quickly, she put her hand on his arm. He looked down at her in surprise, which turned to astonishment as she lifted her face and kissed him, just gently, on the lips. Nothing more, just pressure that burned more than the fires of hell.

“’Nara …”

“You’d better go,” she said, stepping back. “But if you want to talk later …”

He nodded, and she realised he was blushing.