The Morning After
Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Kaylee wakes up in someone else bunk with a hangover. Who will help her and how will she thank him? S/K one shot, NC17-ish.


Erm. Okay. So I woke up on Tuesday knowing that I'd been out the night before, but with absolutely no idea where. Conspicuously missing were my bag, my boots, one of my finger nails (ow)and any semblance of dignity I had formerly possesed. I have been told, however, that I had a good night. But enough about me. This was inspired by my little misadventure. I noticed I was typo-ing more than usual when I wrote it, which suggests I was still an ickle drunk. So, blame Taboo, not me.

I'm not so happy with the name of this fic. 'The Morning After' seems a bit of a cop out. It was originally called 'The Mystery of the Missing Sunshine' but since that joke only features near the begining it seemed inappropriate. I then called it addlepated but that didn't seem to fit either. So, I have up and copped out.

THere's a little smut in here but to be honest the whole fic is one big tease. I ain't so good with the NC17. Apologies.

Comment please, or I'll get drunk and mess up the formatting on your fics ;) Er, again.

The Morning After

The first thought to cross Kaylee’s mind as it neared something resembling consciousness was that something smelled really nice.

The second, more insistent thought, was that her head really hurt, sufficiently enough to push the first though from her pounding skull.

Kaylee opened her eyes. Or at least, she attempted to. It was proving more difficult than she had originally anticipated. Prising her sleep-clogged lashes apart, she squinted as her eyes became accustomed to the dim light. She stared at the ceiling that greeted her for several dazed seconds before realising that something was missing. The swirling orange sunshine she had painted there not long after moving into her bunk. She frowned. Sun’s painted on ceilings could not go missing. Could they?

She shifted slightly, planning to sit up and inspect this mystery more thoroughly, but the movement, slight as it was, sent a jolt of agony through her body. She moaned.

“Morning,” an amused voice greeted her dryly.

She started at the sound, and moved her head in the direction of the speaker. Her eyes widened at the sight of Simon, looking adorably dishevelled, perched on a chair he had apparently slept on, watching her with a mixture of sympathy, amusement and a touch of disapproval.

“I tried to warn you about the evils of sake,” he told her jauntily.

She narrowed her eyes. “Happiness at the misfortune of others. Schadenfreude.”

The corners of his mouth twitched, but he said nothing.

“Get out of my bunk, you fink,” she elaborated with a sniff.

He raised his eyebrows. “Your bunk?”

Kaylee froze. She raised her throbbing head an inch off the pillow and gazed around the room. It took a few seconds for her to process what she was seeing.

Well, that solves the mystery of the missing sunshine

“Simon,” she asked, each word burning her aching throat, “Why am I in your bunk?”

He opened his mouth, but she cut him off. “Why am I in your bed?”

A smirk now firmly fixed on his face, he waited. It took her a few seconds to find another question.

“What the hell happened last night?”

Simon shifted to get more comfortable in his chair. “What do you remember?”

Kaylee closed her eyes and tried to think back. It looked painful.

“Not much,” she said finally.

Simon sighed. “Do you remember dragging Zoe and Inara out last night?”


“Do you remember trying to convince me to let you take River?”

She giggled. “Yes.”

“Do you remember me telling you I’d make an honest man out of Jayne first?”

She opened one eye a slit and regarded him. “Meanie.”

Simon laughed, and she scowled at the noise. “Can you see now why I didn’t think it would be a good idea?”

There was a long pause, as she waited for the nauseous feeling in her stomach to subside somewhat. “Do you have any idea what happened?” she asked, choosing not to answer his previous question.

“I can’t help you with anything between your staggering off the ship after getting your heel caught in the grating and your returning at about two am when you passed out in front of me.”

Kaylee moaned. “I did?”

Simon nodded. “Don’t worry, I caught you.”

She snorted. “I’m never drinking again.”

“Aha,” he said, disbelievingly.

There was a silence, and he watched as Kaylee tried and failed to sit up.

“So why am I in your room?” she asked, settling back against the pillows.

Simon scratched his nose. “Well, like I said, you passed out. My room was nearest, and I couldn’t have got you down the ladder to your bunk with my leg…”

Both their eyes moved automatically to the crutch he had been using since Early’s visit, lying at his feet.

Kaylee nodded, glad the pieces were at least beginning to slot into place. “So why were you awake at two am again?” she asked sleepily.

He regarded her evenly. “I wasn’t.”

Her mind, moving painstakingly slow, took a moment to click. “Oh. Did I come wake you up?”

He nodded. “In a fashion.”

She bit her lip. “How…?”

“I think it was the singing,” he told her. “It was pretty loud. And charming, by the way.”

She closed her eyes and groaned.

“But it could have been the incessant knocking on my door,” Simon continued, sounding like he was enjoying himself.

Kaylee didn’t respond, but pulled one of his pillows out from under her head and threw it at him. It fell at his feet and he smirked some more at her feeble attempt.

“Nice shot,” he teased.

She moaned some more. “Remind me why you’re so cheerful again?”

“Well I figured since you’re temporarily out of order I could take over the job…”

She wanted to throw something else at him, but was reluctant to give up the last pillow, so she settled for flailing her arm in his general direction. “I hate you,” she groaned unconvincingly.

Chuckling, Simon moved over to sit on the bed beside her, catching her arm as he did so and bringing it down to her side. “No you don’t,” he told her calmly. “You hate the inevitable after effects of drinking copious amounts of alcohol.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I’m sorry Simon.”

He shrugged. “There are worse ways to have your night interrupted than by adorably plastered mechanics trying to break down your door. Don’t worry about it.”

At this, Kaylee pressed her hands to her eyes. “Don’t tell me anything else I did, yeah?” She paused. “Did you sleep on the chair?”

He nodded, and she blinked at him meekly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he told her, shaking his head dismissively. “To be honest I would have been a bit worried about you on your own. In case you threw up or something.”

“I didn’t, did I?” she asked, cringing. He shook his head.

Her stomach churned particularly viciously, and she whimpered. “Not yet anyway.”

He smiled sympathetically. “This is what you get when you mix…”

“Simon,” she cried weakly. “I don’t need a lecture.”


They sat in silence for a little while, as Kaylee frantically, and vainly, tried to fill in the very large gap in her memory. Something else occurred to her.



“Why am I naked?”

He went a little red. “You’re not. You’re wearing your underwear.”

She raised her eyebrows.

“You did that yourself!” he told her, a little defensively.

“I thought I passed out?”

“You did,” he told her, looking thoroughly uncomfortable. “But once you were in bed you woke up, and you said you couldn’t sleep in your clothes so you just sort of …wriggled out of them.” He looked at her. “It was quite impressive actually.”

Her eyes widened, and he quickly added, “Not that I was …. I mean, I wasn’t looking, I just…”

She giggled. “Relax.” He did.

With extreme difficulty, Kaylee attempted once more to sit up.

“Are you okay?” he asked, helping her.

“I’ll be f…oh!” she gasped as a wave of dizziness hit her. “No,” she amended, leaning forward so her head rested against his shoulder.

“Er, Kaylee,” he said hesitantly.

“Mmm?” was her only response.

He indicated to her chest. “I can…see…”

She looked down and realised the top half of her bra was on show.

“Simon,” she said evenly, her voiced muffled against his shoulder. “I can’t even begin to explain to you how little I care about that right now.”

He chuckled despite himself. “Fair enough.” Relaxing a little, he moved his arms to encircle her and stroked her back comfortingly. They sat in comfortable silence for a while.

“Thank you,” she murmured after a while.

He looked down at her, her face peaceful despite the slightly pained expression.

“You’re welcome,” he answered, and he spoke softer than he had intended, whispering against her soft hair.

She whimpered as her head gave an especially painful throb. Without thinking, he moved his fingers to her temple, gently caressing the skin there. A soft noise of approval escaped her lips, and he gently began to massage her head with his thumbs. He watched in awe at the blissful smile blossoming on her face, and resisted the urge to press a kiss to each of her closed eyelids.

“That feels good,” she sighed, and he felt his breath catch in throat.

“That’s the idea,” he told her softly.

His fingers stilled as her eyes opened, staring up at him. It occurred vaguely to Simon that he wasn’t breathing.

The noise of someone moving through the common area broke the moment, and Kaylee sat back, shaking her head a little as if to clear it.

“Maybe you should go back to sleep,” Simon suggested, no longer meeting her eye. “You can stay here if you want.”

Kaylee looked down at the bed, soft and warm and welcoming and laced with Simon’s scent. She shook her head.

“I gots work to do,” she told him. “’fore we take off.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

She took a deep breath, feeling a little better “Could you do me one last favour and bring me some clothes?” she asked him.

Simon sniggered. “Of course.”


Kaylee perched on the bed in the infirmary, swinging her legs back and forth. Smiling to himself at her child-like energy, Simon put a hand on her knee to still her legs, and moved in front of her.

“Open wide,” he teased, and she shot him a look before obliging. He popped a pill in her mouth and she swallowed it with a grimace.

“Eurgh,” she commented.

Simon moved to put away the pills. “So how has your day been?” he quipped.

She grunted. “The engine room has never been so loud,” she informed him, and he laughed. She kicked him lightly in response.


“It ain’t nice to laugh at other people’s misfortunes,” she berated.

“Self-induced misfortunes,” he reminded her. She had nothing to say to that, so she poked her tongue out at him.


The two started in surprise as Mal entered the infirmary, looking at his mechanic in annoyance.

“I’ve been looking for you all day. Where have you been?”

“In the engine room,” she answered, perplexed.

Mal frowned. “I looked in there. You under the engine?”

She nodded.

“And you didn’t hear me yellin’ for ya like there was a fire?”

Kaylee looked sheepish. “Er, well… I kinda fell asleep.”

“Kaylee!” exclaimed Simon, “That’s really dangerous!”

“And fairly non-productive,” added Mal. Simon shot him an irritated look but said nothing.

Mal regarded Kaylee’s somewhat haggard appearance. “Eventful night?” he asked. She merely nodded with a frown. Mal began to look a little amused.

“Zoe’s been filling me on your antics…”

Kaylee held up her hand, cutting him off. “I don’t wanna know,” she insisted.

Mal and Simon shared an amused glance.

“So where’d ya sleep?” Mal asked, moving to ruffle the annoyed mechanics hair.

She winced at the contact. “Shah muh?”

“Well I was lookin’ for ya this morning and you weren’t in your bunk.”

Simon cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I was in Simon’s room,” Kaylee told him, sounding indifferent.

“What?” Mal asked, rounding on the doctor.

“I…we…” stuttered Simon, “Nothing happened…she passed out!”

Mal raised his eyebrows at that.

“I mean… not that…,” Simon scowled, his incoherence even beginning to annoy himself, “she passed out outside my room and it was just easier to … I slept on the chair!”

“I woke up in my underwear,” Kaylee piped up helpfully.

Mal spluttered. “What?”

“She did that herself!” Simon said quickly, holding his hands up defensively.

Kaylee began to laugh. “You’re such a pair of idiots,” she told them both.

They both looked at her, seemingly offended, and she suppressed her laughter.

With a last disapproving glare at Kaylee, Mal turned back to Simon. “So you slept on the chair?” he asked.

Simon nodded. “And it wasn’t fun, I can tell you,” he added, instinctively moving his hand up to massage his neck.

Kaylee’s eyes saddened. “Oh, you didn’t tell me you hurt your neck,” she said, sounding upset.

“It’s nothing,” he told her, but she continued to look guilty.

Shaking his head in despair, Mal left them to it.

“I’m sorry,” Kaylee told Simon.

He moved to sit beside her, anxious to bring the smile back to her face. “You should be,” he teased. “It could cause lasting damage.” He watched in delight as the hints of a smile curled across Kaylee’s face, and he leaned closer to her ear. “I may never walk again,” he whispered dramatically.

She giggled, and swatted him away. “Shut up.”

He shook his head in mock disgust. “No compassion. No remorse.”

She smiled at him. “You’re an idiot.” She paused. “Anything I can do?”

“Yep,” he said, turning his back to her. “Massage it, now.”

He was joking, but his protests died on his lips as he felt her tiny hands snake across his shoulders. In complete silence, she shifted closer to him, her thumbs painting tiny circles over his shoulders. Simon sat still, thinking vaguely that he should stop her, but he found himself suddenly dumbfounded. Her fingers were now deftly caressing his shoulder, moving forwards and inwards, her thumbs still trailing firm circles over the knots of tension. Simon almost moaned but stopped himself just in time, his brain still refusing to function. Something about her proximity was making the usually cool infirmary warmer than was exactly comfortable.

Slowly, her hands reached the base of his neck.

“Open your shirt,” Kaylee instructed softly.

Simon managed to push the word out. “What?”

Her hands moved down his chest to undo the first two buttons. “So I can get at it better.”

He couldn’t answer, his chest was burning where she had touched it.

He heard her shift, and realised she was kneeling on the bed behind him, so that her head was hovering above his. He was acutely aware that if he leaned his head back he could nestle in her chest. Suddenly his mouth felt very dry.

And then he felt her gently fingers brushing the bare skin of his collar bone. She tucked her hands under his shirt, ghosting her fingers lightly over his smooth skin. He hoped she couldn’t feel him trembling.

Her thumbs once more began circling, pressing firmly against his skin, moving up his neck. The sensations eliciting from her touch were exquisite and he once more had to hold back a groan. He felt the tension in his neck leaking away.

Finally finding his voice, he asked, “Where did you learn to do this?”

She smiled at his breathless voice. “From a guy.”

Simon felt his eyes close as her hands worked his skin firmly. “A guy?”

He could hear the smile in her voice. “My first boyfriend.” Her hands never faltered as she spoke. “He was a lil’ kinky.” (Simon bit his lip) “And boy, the things that fella could do with his hands…” She trailed off, sounding a little wistful.

“What happened?” Simon asked quietly. He wanted her to keep talking. Her voice was every bit as soothing as her fingers.

There was a tiny pause. “He slept with my sister.”

Simon spun his head to face her so quickly he cricked his neck. “What?” he asked, wincing and moving his hand instinctively towards the pain.

Kaylee smiled sadly, turning his face away so she could continue. “We was always real competitive, me and Susie. When we were kids we were always fighting. An’ I was always winnin’, I might add.” There was a beat. “I guess she finally got one over on me.”

“That’s terrible,” Simon said, shocked.

Kaylee shrugged. “Not all sibling’s are as close as you and River.” She kneaded Simon’s skin effortlessly, feeling the muscles relax beneath her deft fingers. “I think they were at it for a while, actually. I ain’t seen her in three years.”

“I’m sorry,” murmured Simon.

“I ain’t,” she told him firmly. “S’better to find out he was a creep then than years down the road when we’re married with three kids.” She placed her hand over his, and moved it gently away from his neck. “You have nice hands.”

He glanced at their hands as she moved his to his side. “So have you.”

She said nothing, but went back to working his skin, and this time Simon couldn’t keep in a small moan of pleasure. She smiled, running her hands down his back and back up again. He felt her shift closer and the added proximity set his body alight. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to keep his arousal hidden for much longer, he tensed, trying to think of a reason to leave, but his brain was once more refusing to think about anything other than her fingers dancing over his shoulders.

“So tense,” she murmured above him. “From worrying about River all the time. Shoulda let me do this sooner.”

His head spun as he tried to think of something to say. “Well, I didn’t know about your skills, or I would have.”

She smiled. “Tell me about your first.”

His heart stopped. “W …what?” he stammered.

“Your first girlfriend. I told you about my first relationship. Your turn.”

He relaxed a little, heart know pounding determinedly against his ribcage. “Er… okay. It’s actually a pretty similar story.”

“She slept with River?”

“No!” He yelled, momentarily forgetting his dilemma. “Kaylee! I did not need that image!”

She giggled. “Go on,” she cajoled.

Her teasing voice pushed River firmly from his mind. He sighed. “She slept with my best friend.”

“How old was ya?”

He though. “Seventeen. We’d been together almost two years.”

Kaylee whistled. “I’m sorry Simon, that sucks.”

He didn’t reply, finding he couldn’t quite bring himself to be upset about it at that moment in time.

“What was her name?” Kaylee asked.

Simon smiled grimly. “You’ll laugh.”

“Why? What was it?”

He looked up at her. “Kayleigh. Her name was Kayleigh. Mikayla, actually.”

She paused, then smiled. “It’s a good name.”

He grinned. “I think I prefer Kaywinnet.”

She pushed his head down so she could continue her work. “Me too.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, Simon feel himself gradually relaxing under her soft caresses.

“This is the wrong way round,” he observed after a while. “You’re the one who’s hungover.”

“You can thank me later,” she teased, and he was unable to reply, as images of just how he could do that burst in front of his eyes. “Besides,” she continued, “I’m enjoying myself.”

Her breath tickled his neck, and he groaned involuntarily. It was taking every ounce of self restraint he possessed to stop him from turning around, scooping her up, and taking her back to his bunk. If she continued to touch him the way she was for much longer, he expected he wouldn’t even bother leaving the infirmary … the idea of having her there and then was becoming more and more appealing.

“Kaylee,” he murmured before another moan escaped his lips. Her face was close to his now, he could feel her cheek resting against his temple. Her scent was enveloping him.

“Simon,” she breathed in reply, and he got the distinct feeling she knew exactly what she was doing to him.

Trying to think about anything other than how she would feel pressed against him, Simon concentrated on breathing steadily. Her hands left him for a second, and his breath hitched, his entire body trembling in anticipation

And then he felt it, her fingers lifting his shirt at the base of his back and gently prodding the skin there. He felt his trousers tighten and began to pray that no one came by.

“Should take your shirt off,” she breathed against his ear. “Do this properly…”

He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. He didn’t object at all as she pressed herself firmly against him, her arms draped over his shoulders. Her hands moved deftly downwards, undoing the remaining buttons, revealing inch after inch of skin. He sat there dumbly as she moved his shirt tantalisingly slowly over his shoulders, stroking each new inch of flesh on his back as it was exposed.

“Kaylee,” he moaned weakly in protest. He wanted to tell her to stop but he was too far gone. He was past trying to hide it. He was completely at her mercy.

She shushed him, her hot breath against the nape of his neck making him gasp. “Sit back,” she instructed. He obeyed, licking his dry lips as he realised he was now sitting between her thighs. They pressed against his waist, and he closed his eyes, feeling painfully hard.

As she kneaded his muscled back, she shifted against him, and he gasped as he felt her smooth skin pressing against his. He realised her top must have ridden up a little, exposing her stomach. Biting his lip hard, he leaned back into her, giving up completely.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” she asked, and he felt her lips brush his skin as she spoke. He couldn’t answer, but turned his face to hers.

Kaylee saw the hunger in his eyes and her own breath caught in her throat. Before she knew it his lips were crashing down on hers, his hands snaking behind him to clutch at her waist. She felt a thrill at knowing she’d pushed him into being this forward, this un-proper.

Wanting to torture him even more, she tore her lips away, brushing them down his jaw line. A throaty moan escaped him and she smiled against his skin. She proceeded to follow the path she had taken with her fingers with her tongue, kneading the clefts and dips in his shoulders, his neck, his collarbone. She moved to the nape of his neck and blew on his skin gently.

“Kaylee.” His voice was ragged. “Please…”

Delighted, she pressed a quick kiss to his skin and began to graze her teeth as far down his back as she could go without releasing him from between her thighs. She kissed her way back up, caressing his skin with her hands as she did. An idea struck her, and without a thought for anyone walking past, she slipped her top over head and tossed it on the floor next to his.

She pressed herself against his back, her breasts cushioning him, her hands still working at his shoulders. His skin was dampening, coated in a sheen of sweat, and she smiled as she brushed her lips against him once more.


The desire was palpable in his voice, and it made her shiver pleasantly. Knowing exactly how to push him over the edge, she reached behind her unsnapped her bra, letting it fall into her lap before pressing her now bare skin against his back.

He snapped. In one fluid movement he whipped around, his arms coming round her tightly as he kissed her once more. Their tongues met furiously, their lips working against each other. With a firmness she had not expected, he scooped her up, her legs tightening around him.

Both thankful his bunk was so close, he flung open the door and tossed her on to the bed, his lips hungrily searching out hers. She pulled him down on top of her and wriggled beneath him. He groaned.

“You’re evil,” he told her, hooking his thumbs over her waistband.

She raised her hips to meet his, giggling. “You asked for it.”

Neither of them wanting to wait another second, they quickly disposed of what was left of their clothing. His eyes met hers, silently asking her permission. Wordlessly, she gripped his hips, her eyes not leaving his.

“Please…” she moaned.

Not breaking eye contact, he pressed into her, and she gasped, clenching around him, holding him in place while they both savoured the feeling.

“Not changing your mind, are you?” he teased. He kissed her softly. “Not too late to go back…”

She smiled serenely and kissed him back. “I don’t wanna go back,” she breathed.

As one, they began to move against each other, slowly at first, then faster. Neither tried to hold back; they each poured everything they had into each other. They had waited too long to waste any more time. She clung to him as if scared he would leave, and he buried his face in her neck, kissing her reassuringly, too out of breath to speak. With every thrust she gasped, their hips crashing together, the sounds only encouraging him. He felt her begin to shake beneath him, her breath coming in sharp pants as she dug her nails into his back. Sensing the end, he lifted his head, wanting to watch.

Her eyes met his, clouded with lust, and his name fell from her lips as she gasped.

“Simon…” she breathed, pleading.

He brought his face close to hers, taking in every beautiful detail.

“Let go…” he murmured, feeling his own release approaching.

She moaned, writhing beneath him. “I…” she gasped, unable to finish.

He pressed his lips to hers. “Let go for me.”

With a long, loud scream she did, and he followed moments later, holding her to him as they shuddered together.

Together they fell back against the pillows, exhausted. As their breathing slowed, he looked over at her and smiled.

“Well, my neck isn’t hurting anymore.”

Eyes sparkling, but too breathless still to speak, Kaylee reached over and swatted him on the shoulder.


The first thought that occurred to Kaylee as she drifted awake was that something smelled really good.

The second thought was that that something was Simon.

Her eyes flew open, and she turned her head. He was lying next to her, his arms looped possessively around her waist, a contented smile on his swai face. Kaylee smiled, watching his chest rise and fall as he slept. After a few moments she snuggled closer, putting her face close to his and kissing his temple. He mumbled something inaudible and she giggled.

“Simon,” she whispered. “Simon, wake up.”

“Guh,” came the articulate reply.

Kaylee giggled some more. “Simon, we fell asleep. We gotta get up, people will be wondering where we are.”

He opened one eye to regard her.

“S’okay,” he slurred sleepily, “Mal doesn’t mind you sleeping in my room.” He closed his eyes again before adding “as long as I’m in the chair.”

Kaylee leaned up to kiss his nose and he smiled. “You ain’t in the chair, sweetie,” she informed him.

He tightened his grip on her waist, pulling her a little closer. “Well, what the captain doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

Kaylee smiled and settled back against the pillow.

“You make a good point,” she agreed, closing her eyes. She felt his lips brush against her cheek.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, and he meant it.

Kaylee sighed, wondering if it was possible to be too happy. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She could tell from his voice that he was almost asleep.

“Simon,” she said, hesitantly, and the change in tone made his eyes flicker open.


She looked at him, biting her lip. “You ain’t gonna…” she trailed off, wondering how to best phrase ‘run off like a scared little girl, again’ without causing offence.

He understood. “No.” he assured her.


He pressed a reassuring kiss to her lips. “No. I promise.”

She smiled. “Good.”


Wednesday, March 7, 2007 8:29 AM


That was the hottest damn massage ever! I'm amazed Simon held out as long as he did ... I think for some smutty goodness that was plenty good - leaves just enough to the imagination ... so glad we have a new S/K writer to love!

Wednesday, March 7, 2007 8:43 AM


WOW! Thats some great S/K! Keep up the good work!

Wednesday, March 7, 2007 9:02 AM


Wei, teasing is good.
Very nice.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007 12:27 PM


Awwws, I feel so loved :)

Wednesday, March 7, 2007 2:21 PM


Hod bloody damn. Wonderful description of the massage, and I loved how she chipped away at his barriers a little at a time until he finally cracked.

Oy, and how Simon behaves here sounds SOOOO much like how I imagine a friend of mine would behave in a similar situation.

Whew, so nice and hot. Keep writing that S/K!

Wednesday, March 7, 2007 7:14 PM


*Faning herself*

-It’s actually a pretty similar story.
She slept with River?-

The stories were very cute. Loved 'em.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007 7:45 PM


Wham bam goddam that was just brilliant, Chazzer! You do smut and romantic interlude like Joss does media projects: style, flair and utter perfection!

Hell...we need ya to get plastered more often if this what's results of your drinking binges;D



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Angst ahoy. Simon and Kaylee need to talk.

Things have to end, one way or the other. Simon takes aim, but can he pull the trigger? Action and Angst.

Vents are useful things. Mal plays the messenger boy, Simon learns how to be intimidating, and Jayne doesn’t take the hint. Big Damn Action ensues.

Regan plants the seed of doubt in Kaylee’s mind, while Jayne, Simon and River hatch a plan. A cunning hat and a girl with a gun? Yeah, this is gonna go great. Meanwhile, Mal rethinks his attitude to Simon.

Kaylee is in Regan Tam’s clutches, but all is not as it seems. River decides to clean up Simon’s mess. Mal clutches at straws, and Jayne clutches his big stick. Serenity has some visitors…and then she has some more.

Mal considers childproofing the ship when he discovers Simon and Jayne are gone. Regan makes some progress and Simon learns what it takes to buy a gun. As always, a little angsty, but not too much.

What’s going on? No one’s quite sure… Simon has some serious regrets and turns to an unusual source for comfort, and Mal is sick of the doctor causing trouble. More angst as the crew is being whittled down. S/K

When Simon has made his mind up on something, there’s no swaying him. And right now, he’s decided to be an idiot. Big Damn Angst, as the crew try to find the missing River.

Some people just can’t catch a break. Jayne thinks Simon had a deprived childhood, Wash is left out, Simon gets to go fishing and Kaylee has been waiting long enough. A little fluff, a little smut, and a whole lot of things going not smooth. R, I guess.

The crew decide to hide while figuring out their next move. Sun, sea and sand … all Kaylee is missing is her boyfriend. Simon is torn and River plays ‘I Spy.’ A good healthy mix of fluff and angst.