A Mighty Thorn In a Mighty Paw - Ch. 58
Monday, March 5, 2007

A slight change of plan...



Jayne struggles to hang on to Paul against the centrifugal force. He looks up and sees the cable fraying against the rear of the hatch. There’s little of it left holding them. He looks back down at Paul.

Jayne POV - sees the rip-cord on Paul's harness. He grins.

JAYNE: Change o' plan!

He reaches around and pulls the rip-cord, shoving Paul away from himself the next instant.

JAYNE: Pull me in!

Jayne watches as Paul's parachute unfurls into a beautiful blue and white cloud beneath him.

He looks up, sees the cable center itself in the hatch opening as it hauls him up.


Madsen maneuvers the stick as he watches out the port side of the canopy.

MADSEN: Hadn’t thought of that...


Jayne comes into view. As soon as he clears the doors, Simon hits the button to close them.

He runs up to Jayne.

SIMON (unhooking Jayne's cable): Where's Paul? What happened?

Jayne slaps Simon on the shoulder, nearly knocking him over, then runs to the fore/starboard stairs.

JAYNE (running up stairs two at a time): I opened his 'chute. Maybe we can get under 'im 'fore he splashes down. (turns his head and spits over the hand rail) Swallowed a ruttin’ bug.


River maneuvers the yoke, pushing forward on the throttle. She takes Serenity in a long loop, diving back down toward the ground.

RIVER: Captain, would you mind...?

MAL: Pokin' my head outta the topside airlock and gettin' some air? Love to.

Mal darts from the Bridge.

Follow Mal down the stairs and through the fore hall. Round the corner just past his bunk to the airlock ladder. He reaches it at the same time as Jayne.

JAYNE: I had 'im, Mal. Gorram cable almost gave... If he hits the water, he’ll sink like a stone.

MAL (places a hand on Jayne's shoulder): I know. No worries.

Mal climbs the ladder and activates the airlock.


Mal's head appears through the opening. He turns and looks ahead, squinting at the buffeting winds. Mal watches with a smile as Serenity swoops in toward Paul. The ship's engines shift to keep her hovering as she slips beneath Paul, less than fifty feet above the water.

MAL (to himself): All right, River. I know you're listenin'. Forward another couple yards... good. One more yard... All right, hold there. Shiny.

Mal grabs Paul's feet, then his legs, guiding him into the airlock tube. He guides him down to…


…Jayne waiting below. The parachute proves cumbersome, until Jayne draws a knife and cuts the cords. The parachute is quickly dragged from the ship.

Jayne picks Paul up and hurriedly carries him around the corner, through the galley and into the aft hall, Mal on his heels.

JAYNE: Tell the doc to get his pee goo to the infirmary! Man's bleedin' bad!


River places a hand lovingly on the console before her.

RIVER: I knew you wouldn’t let me down.

Click to go to Ch. 59

Click to go back to Ch. 57


Monday, March 5, 2007 6:08 PM


Holy...moly! That was quite the rescue! Though I thought it was established in a previous chapter that Paul's chutes wouldn't deploy?


Tuesday, March 6, 2007 12:19 AM


Absolutely brillo pads! Nobody could have done this better and funnily enough Jayne spitting out that bug over the hand rail was just so him that it made me smile. Love that everybody is pulling in the same direction and hope Simon can fix Paul. Excellent job, Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Tuesday, March 6, 2007 4:22 PM



Let's just take a moment to contemplate the awesomeness that we just witnessed.


Okay. Enough said. But I like how Jayne comes through in a tight spot and acts very practically for a man about to die. It doesn't faze him. Much. And he swallowed a bug!

I also like how Mal knows exactly what to do. Who's the psychic now, River?

Again, your writing is very easy to visualize, with enough wiggle room for our own minds insert even more coolness. I don't know about anyone else, but MY brain does whip-pans and zooms and occasionally has flares on its metaphorical lenses. It's a Zoic brain.

Well done, HeWhoKicksAlot!


Tuesday, March 13, 2007 8:15 AM


Yay, rescue! As always your visuals in motion play perfectly in my mind's eye. When your directions say "follow Mal" that's exactly what I do. Love Mal's trust in River, and River's in Serenity. Love Jayne slapping Simon on the shoulder, and frankly Jayne's concern for Sifu. Also love the asides: swallowing a bug and "hadn't thought of that." :) Another shiny read.


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