Once You Know
Thursday, February 15, 2007

Companions aren’t supposed to fall in love. Inara wants to know what it feels like to hear those three special words. S/K, implied M/I. (First ever FF fic, be kind :D)


So, this is my first ever Firefly Fic. I woke up half an hour ago with this in my head, and scribbled it down, and here it is. I ususally write things better when I don't take my time... anyway, it hasn't been beta-d or anything, so feel free to call me up on anything. I am in the middle of a much longer S/K piece, this one just sort of popped out. Also, just so we're clear, I am English. In the Harry Potter fandom, fan fiction writers get a LOT of stick for writing Americanisms into their work. So I figure it's only fair that I get the same treatment. If any Britishisms annoy you, PLEASE let me know and I will try to fix it. Enjoy (please!)

Once you know

Inara was sitting on her bed, thinking, when Kaylee bounced into the shuttle, skipped over to her, and flopped down on the bed beside her, beaming up at her friend.

“It’s true what they say,” Kaylee told her, in the same blissful, relaxed tone she’d been speaking in all week.

“What’s that, mei mei?” Inara inquired, amused.

“It really is better when you’re in love,” Kaylee wiggled her eyebrows a little, ensuring that Inara didn’t miss the full meaning of her statement.

Inara allowed herself an indulging smile. “Is that so?”

“It surely is,” Kaylee murmured, her eyes fluttering closed.

Inara giggled. “So, top marks for Simon then?”

Kaylee’s eyes flicked open at once, now filled with a mischievous glint that spread to her wicked smile. “I’ll say.” She licked her lips. “I dunno how he got to be so good, but I don’t think he learned it at medical school!”

Inara reached down and stroked her friends her, resigning herself to the play by play she had known she would receive all week. “Tell me,”

Kaylee closed her eyes once more, as if to allow her self to fully access her memories. “It aint like sex I’ve ever had before ‘Nara. It’s different. Sometimes it’s real slow, when we’re tired, an’ we barely even move, we just lie there kissing, an’ it’s …” she trailed off, unable to find an adequate word.

Inara simply watched her, silently urging her to continue.

“And sometimes, if’n I’m working in the engine room late, an’ I’m thinking about him … by the time I get my hands on him I just can’t think anymore, I just grab him, an’…” she giggled. “That’s always pretty incredible.”

She paused, her face relaxing into a gentler smile.

“And sometimes,” she began, and her voice had taken on a new tranquil quality, “sometimes, it’s like he’s trying to prove how much he loves me. And he just let’s me lie back and then…oh, ‘Nara. I didn’t know it was possible to feel so good.”

Inara remained silent, still stroking the mechanic’s soft hair.

“An’ it aint even just the sex,” Kaylee went on. “It’s before… and it’s after, when we just lie there talking. ‘Nara, we talk about everything, and anything, and I dunno why I love it so much. It’s like I wanna know everything about him, ‘bout his past, ‘bout working at the hospital, ‘bout growing up with River… an’ he asks me stuff too, ‘bout growing up on Harvest, ‘bout Serenity…” she gave a pleasant sigh. “It’s in between, too. Through the day when he comes an’ finds me jus’ to tell me…”

Inara raised her eyebrows. “So the magical words have been spoken then,” she asked, slightly surprised and impressed by the usually reserved doctor.

Kaylee looked up at her friend, her eyes wide and innocent. “O’ course ‘Nara. There aint no point in waiting to say ‘em, once you know.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, each lost in her own thoughts.

“What does it feel like?” Inara asked quietly. “To hear those words from someone you love?”

Kaylee thought about the question, a small smile on her face.

“When you hear ‘em,” she started after a moment, “It’s like… it’s like you been waiting your whole life, for something, an’ you don’t know what. An’ then you hear those words, ‘an you know … that’s what you was waiting for. You know that wherever you are … flying out in the black, struggling to get by on the rim, or living in the core … you know that, so long as he’s there … you’re safe. You’re home.”

A single tear ran down Inara’s face. She looked around her shuttle, her home. She looked at her beautiful décor and fine possessions, and wondered if they were what made it a home. And then she looked at the door and thought about a certain captain who never knocked, and knew that they weren’t.



Thursday, February 15, 2007 1:29 AM


A great big aww for you.
That was beautiful and fantastically written.
I definatly want to see more.

Thursday, February 15, 2007 1:29 AM


Cool, first to comment :)

Thursday, February 15, 2007 3:47 AM


Very nicely done! Looking forward to more.

Thursday, February 15, 2007 4:07 AM


that's nice

Thursday, February 15, 2007 6:45 AM


For a first time outing, this is terrific! I love your Kaylee ... now, I would like to see the companion piece with maybe Mal and Simon discussing things in their "manly" way and then the third installment with Mal and Inara ...

More, more, more! Thanks for posting!

Thursday, February 15, 2007 6:59 AM


This was an excellent first time fic! Would love to see some longer pieces and as an avid S/K fan I'm looking forward to reading your longer piece.

Thursday, February 15, 2007 7:16 AM


Thanks a lot to everyone, it's especially nice to read comments from people who's fics I love (blackbeanie, TamSibling, Leiasky)

Not that all comments aren't appreciated :D:D:D:D

And yes, sequels are a surething :)

Thursday, February 15, 2007 7:28 AM


This was excellent! Can't believe it is your first fic and looking forward to more. Your Kaylee was spot-on and I loved the introspective Inara showing her feelings at the end with that single tear. Maybe listening to Kaylee enthuse about falling in love will help her to stop sitting on the fence her own self. Can't wait for more! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Thursday, February 15, 2007 12:40 PM


Yes! This is definitely something utterly brilliant! If I wasn't a trusting sort, I would swear you were pulling our chaings, Chazzer, about this being your first fic;D

What really makes this brilliant is that it's Kaylee who is teaching Inara about what it's like to be with someone who loves you completely. It's the reversal of roles/positions between these surrogate sisters that, to me, really helps to make this something that fits pretty much seemlessly with what Joss & co. have created:D

Oh...and I wanna see sequels! Mal and Simon having their moment where it's the usually repressed Simon explaining to Mal about loving Kaylee and building a relationship with her! Mal and Inara stumbling towards the finish line of trying to have something like what Simon and Kaylee have! Let the warm and fuzzy begin!



Thursday, February 15, 2007 12:57 PM


Thanks a lot. A Mal Simon equivalent isn't something I'd thought of but I am warming to the idea.

And it isn't my first fan fic, it's my first FIREFLY fanfic. I've written a bit of HP.


Thanks again. xxxx

Thursday, February 15, 2007 4:15 PM


Beautiful words and sentiment,

...very Firefly

Thursday, February 15, 2007 6:06 PM


I truly enjoyed this piece. I may have mentioned this before, but it's worth repeating. Firefly and Serenity were as much about the little moments between the characters as they were about the big dramatic ones. The quiet moments make you truly care about the characters, and create the relationships that make their love for eachother more believable.

And as was mentioned before, it's interesting to see Inara and Kaylee "trading" places.

Keep up the wonderful writing.

Rob O.

Thursday, February 15, 2007 6:11 PM


I loved the fact that Kaylee was telling Inara bout somethign for a change. Great job. Carn't wait till you post the S/K fic.

Thursday, February 15, 2007 11:56 PM


I liked this a lot. Couldn't see anything in it that marked it as Brit or US - if you take the language and syntax that Joss wrote, and draw from that, I don't see how anyone could tell just by looking :) (I can be exceptionally dull on the subject of structure and semiotics)
ps where is your Potterfic posted?

Friday, February 16, 2007 12:11 AM


More big thanks :D

My Potter fan fics are all posted at mugglenet fanfiction, under the author name hpmaniac666.

hold me on, I'll link ya.

There ya go xxx

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 5:39 AM


that was a great first fic


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Angst ahoy. Simon and Kaylee need to talk.

Things have to end, one way or the other. Simon takes aim, but can he pull the trigger? Action and Angst.

Vents are useful things. Mal plays the messenger boy, Simon learns how to be intimidating, and Jayne doesn’t take the hint. Big Damn Action ensues.

Regan plants the seed of doubt in Kaylee’s mind, while Jayne, Simon and River hatch a plan. A cunning hat and a girl with a gun? Yeah, this is gonna go great. Meanwhile, Mal rethinks his attitude to Simon.

Kaylee is in Regan Tam’s clutches, but all is not as it seems. River decides to clean up Simon’s mess. Mal clutches at straws, and Jayne clutches his big stick. Serenity has some visitors…and then she has some more.

Mal considers childproofing the ship when he discovers Simon and Jayne are gone. Regan makes some progress and Simon learns what it takes to buy a gun. As always, a little angsty, but not too much.

What’s going on? No one’s quite sure… Simon has some serious regrets and turns to an unusual source for comfort, and Mal is sick of the doctor causing trouble. More angst as the crew is being whittled down. S/K

When Simon has made his mind up on something, there’s no swaying him. And right now, he’s decided to be an idiot. Big Damn Angst, as the crew try to find the missing River.

Some people just can’t catch a break. Jayne thinks Simon had a deprived childhood, Wash is left out, Simon gets to go fishing and Kaylee has been waiting long enough. A little fluff, a little smut, and a whole lot of things going not smooth. R, I guess.

The crew decide to hide while figuring out their next move. Sun, sea and sand … all Kaylee is missing is her boyfriend. Simon is torn and River plays ‘I Spy.’ A good healthy mix of fluff and angst.