He looked like hell. River watched from the shadowy alcove as the Captain stumble down the mess steps. The crew was out on a run and Simon was in the Medbay poking and prodding her holographic brain again.

Mal had been gone for about a week. He had taken one of the shuttles and disappeared with no warning. If his dirty, torn clothes and week’s worth of stubble were any indication, it hadn’t been a pleasure trip. The crew had worked themselves up into a lather of worry until they found a note tapped to the ladder leading down into his bunk.

Going out. Stay in this area. -Mal No indication of where he was going or when he’d be back. Just orders to stay put. Zoe had taken a pragmatic approach to the situation and had organized an easy load of cargo to keep them in the system. Inara had gone off to meet with other clients. River knew they had all been frustrated, but what good would running around the system looking for a runaway Captain have done. Especially since it seemed he had left on his own power. A groan of pain echoed through the dim compartment as Mal turned the chair sideways and eased into it. “Everyone was worried,” she said in her quiet piping voice. Mal jerked like he had been jabbed with a tazzer and looked into the darkened corner where River was curled with a book. “Damnit girl. Don’t sneak up on a man like that,” he growled in irritation. Mal stood and activated the lights then returned to his seat. “What are you reading in the dark for?” River slid gracefully into a seat opposite Mal and sat silently watching him. He had dark circles under his eyes and his lip looked like it had been split. “Too much of a good thing…” she began. “Dirt naps aren’t therapeutic,” she said sternly. Mal’s brow lowered ominously as he regarded the younger girl. “Get out of my head,” he said softly. “Ain’t nothin’ up there you need to concern yourself with.” River smiled a little mockingly and calmly ripped a page from the book she had been looking at. It was Book’s bible. He was going to kill her for tearing up his pages again. “It’s awfully quiet without a conscious,” she said sweetly. Mal sat up sharply and winched at the twinge of pain it caused. “Shut up River,” he snapped and then groaned as he leaned back. “Where’s that Doctor brother of yours,” he said more evenly. River stood, humming, and took graceful dancer steps across the floor. Toes pointed, head drifting to the side, arms gracefully akimbo. Mal watched her progress towards him warily. There was no telling what River might do next. She stopped in front of him and leaned forward at the waist until they were nose to nose. Her nose wrinkled a bit and she gave a huffing cough. “Smelly beast,” she said lightly. Mal reached out to push her away. “Go. Brother. Now,” he ordered tersely. River evaded his grasp and actually entangled her fingers with his, holding his hand lightly in hers. Palm to palm. Their hands creating a bridge between them. Mal froze and then tried to tug his hand from hers.

“nuh-uh,” she chided and tightened her grasp. “Let go River,” Mal said tersely “I don’t want to play any games today,” the exhaustion was plain in his voice. River shook her head and the playful expression was replaced by one tinged with sadness. A small frown tugged at her lips.

“You didn’t call. Didn’t write. Dead again?” River whispered, her free hand stretching outward like a tentative butterfly. Mal froze, body tense, his gaze alternately watching the hand and River’s sad eyes. The muscle in his jaw jumped when her fingers finally touched the crown of his head. River moaned a little, like she was in pain, and her eyes drifted half closed. “Run..run… as fast as you can…” she muttered. Her fingers threaded through his hair. A caress that followed the curve of his scalp. She stepped closer and repeated the stroke. “Run run… from the boogie man.” Mal started to shrug her off, but he hesitated, and she could feel him leaning into the gentle touch of her hand. River began to hum again and pulled her other hand free. She stepped between Mal’s legs and set both hands to caressing his hair. It was a gentle touch. A caring caress. His hair was dirty and matted with sweat. Her fingers gently worked out knots and massaged his scalp. Mal seemed to melt into the seat under her attention. “Sho’d na’ be doin’ this,” he slurred, eyes closed and head tipped forward to give her freedom to touch. River just sighed and shook her head. Tears gathered in her eyes but she didn’t blink them away. Her hands drifted lower to the back of his neck and massaged the tense tendons there with firm fingers. Mal groaned a sound halfway between ecstasy and agony. Stars burst to life on the lids of his closed eyes. His head tipped forward until the crown of his head rest against River’s lower abdomen. His hands hung loose and limp in his lap. “Cups half full…” River cried out softly, her voice a starling’s soft trill heralding the end of the day. Her hands drifted lower, dipping into the collar of Mal’s shirt, seeking and finding overwrought muscle there. Mal clenched his teeth in sudden agony as River’s fingers dug painfully into tight knots. He groaned, a sound that was pushed from deep in his stomach. His hands rose to clench at the back of River’s thighs through her skirt. Anchor himself to something solid, as white bursts of light replaced the spinning stars. It felt like River was digging into some tangled spot in his soul. He felt himself coming undone. All the careful stops gaps he had in place were dissolving away. Emotions that he had thought carefully suppressed rose to the surface swamping him.

“What are you doing to me,” he sobbed hoarsely in numb shock. River could no longer stop the tears that ran down her cheeks. She could feel the muscles in his shoulders giving way to her insistent punishment. Knots were disappearing and relaxing. Until finally the tense flesh was loose. Her fingers splayed apart and rested over Mal’s strength. His shoulders carried such a heavy burdened. The weight of the crew’s lives. The weight of a thousand lives before them that he couldn’t protect. River bit her lip to keep in the keening sound of pain that she could feel at the back of her throat. “maid service…” she finally replied in a trembling voice. Her hands fluttered forward, pushing Mal back from his protective huddle. She cupped the swell of shoulder muscle warmly in her hands, and then lightly raced her fingers down the arch of each clavicle. Her fingers meet at the tiny hollow at the base of his throat. Mal tipped his head back; eyes opened and fixed on River’s face. Her expression had crumbled into a sea of misery. He should push her away, but couldn’t seem to lift his hands from where they had fallen to his sides. “River…” His voice was thick and rough. Growling her name. River gentle undid buttons, pushing his legs together to take a seat on his knees facing him. She pushed opened his shirt, revealing the mottle of bruises that decorated one of Mal’s sides. River bit her lower lip and reached to touch the abused flesh. Her fingers hovered a hair’s breath over the spot before moving upward to rest on his chest. Sweat and dirt streaked his skin. Her head drooped, hair shielding her face from Mal’s eyes. He watched her with an intensity that was at odds with his relaxed body. “Problem child,” River said “Bastard. of rotten seed,” her voice broke and went silent. Her hands began to dance again. Her fingers massaging the tops of his pectorals and then drifting lower. They had started to tremble and the shaking grew more pronounced the closer she strayed to his heart. “Hands… white hands… black hands.. clean hands… dirty…” River chanted the litany with her voice shaking. At last her fingers settled. One over his heart. She sucked in a hissing breath, like a blow had been dealt to her middle. Her face was pale and covered with a sheen of sweat. “Wrapped up tight. In black Christmas wrap. But no happy gifts inside.” She clenched a balled fist to her stomach. “Tiny hands shouldn’t touch… Hands… hands of blue…” she moaned suddenly lost in her own torment. Mal finally moved, as if the spell that had held him was broken. He gently took River’s hand in his and removed it from his bared chest. River jerked like a connection had been broken. Her knees tightened on his legs as her shaking grew worse. “Full to the top,” she cried out and tried to pull away. “Full up. to much.”

“Hey,” Mal said coaxingly and then more firmly, “Hey now. Listen to me.” It was a command and River stopped struggling. She finally met his eyes. Hers had a haunted look and his seemed faintly dazed. They stared at each other for a moment. Then Mal released her hand and brushed a tear from River’s cheek, leaving a smear of dirt behind.

“What did you do to me…” he asked. “I… I feel… better.” His hand tangled with a lock of River’s hair and tucked it behind her ear. “Lighter…” he mussed. River reached out and her forefinger traced a feathery path down the arch of Mal’s nose, down to the tip of his chin. “Took away all the presents,” she said absently. Her finger caressed the hard bow of his lip. The line of his jaw. “They’re mine now. Can’t have it back.” she said with sorrowful purpose. Mal’s expression hardened, the usual alertness return to his gaze, then it eased.

“Can’t never make plain sense. Can you.” he said dryly.

The dreamy expression on River’s face cleared. She met his gaze with one of equal sharpness. “I make sense. You just don’t listen,” she said harshly. Her hand drifted lower to trace lazy circles on Mal’s chest. Mal’s brows rose in surprise and he laughed once in surprise. “Well… don’t know if that’s the whole truth, but I’m sure it’s not entirely false.” His breath caught and he found himself very distracted as River’s wandering fingers made contact with one nipple. The sudden look of honeyed sensuality in her watchful eyes was a bit disconcerting. River could feel his body responding even if he did look disturbed by this sudden turn of events. The captain opened his mouth to speak. He was interrupted though by the sounds of someone entering the galley. “Capt’n back,” Jayne called over his shoulder. “And he’s makin’ out with the Fruitbasket.” Jayne slouched into one of the chairs, watching the duo with interest. River’s hands continued to wander while Mal tried to push the girl off. “Don’t let me stop you,” Jayne said off-handedly. Mal pointed a warning finger at Jayne. “Shut up Jayne.” Jayne flashed the Captain a wide cocky grin. Wash and Zoe were a step behind the smuggler.

“Welcome back Captain,” Zeo said. She acted like the tumultuous tableau wasn’t even happening. Wash was watching the duo with an expression of disbelief. “Did I miss something? And where the hell have you been?” Wash asked. “And again what is that Fong luh girl doing?” his voice rose a notch. “Seems like she’s got the Captain pinned,” Jayne chimed in. “Shut up Jayne,” Zoe said absently as she grabbed something to eat. “The Captain is allowed to do what he wants, when he wants. He doesn’t need our permission.” Wash looked at the serene expression on his wife’s face and knew that she was about to go off on the Captain. Mal seemed to sense his impending doom.

“Now wait just one… River stop it…” Mal sputtered in protest, finally disentangling his lower limbs from River. He stood and stepped away from the girl, face flushed and frowning. River stubbornly held on to his hand. Simon choice that moment to walk in, tablet in one hand, syringe in the other. He looked at the odd scene speculatively. “I’ll bring him home to meet momma and pappa,” River said stubbornly. “Green clocks point to the right time,” she conclude sagely. An expectant silence fell over the crowd. Then Simon shrugged, “Well. At least she isn’t trying to marry me anymore.” The doctor turned and walked back out of the galley shaking his head. “Come on River it’s time for your shot,” he called over his shoulder. River released Mal’s hand and scooped up the Preacher’s mutilated bible. “Pin cushions never rest,” she said. “Sweet sin,” she crooned and surprised everyone by placing a soft kiss on the startled Captain’s lips. River drifted out of the galley after her brother with a light, carefree laughter.

“Think I’m next?” Jayne asked hopefully.

“SHUT UP JAYNE!” yelled three irritated voice.

“Was just askin’…”