Sorry it took so long to get this up! I was in NYC for Christmas and didn't have access to a computer. I hope I made up for it by giving a good chapter. And special thanks to GrayAlbatross for pointing out that mentioned Miranda in the last chapter when I said the BDM didn't happen. I meant to say that it had been a couple of months, but I must have been delirious or something. And Amdobell, I didn't get the name Tripp from Enterprise. I've never seen it before. I got it from the US Census Bureau's list of the most popular baby names. :) I'll stop rambling now and let you read.

Miracles

Even at midnight, Simon still sat in the infirmary with Tripp, sprawled out on the chair and repeatedly checking the monitors to make sure the baby stayed in stable condition. He had been getting steadily better throughout the night, which gave Simon the hope and strength to stay awake. He sighed and fought off sleep's last attempt to make him surrender. Everywhere else in the ship was quiet. Wash and Zoe slept, not because they weren't worried, but because they were exhausted to stay awake. Mal, Inara, and Jayne tried to remain detached from the matter at hand, knowing that sleep was necessary. Even Jayne felt a tiny bit of compassion for the baby since his own brother, Matty, had been born the same way. Kaylee, River, and Book, though not peacefully sleeping, made no noise either. Book prayed silently in his bunk, not knowing if Tripp, his parents, or anyone would appreciate it at all. River's sleep, as usual, was plagued by nightmares of unknowable and incomprehensible evils. Kaylee, however, wasn't even in her bunk. She was in the kitchen, making Simon some food and some juice. She didn't feel right sitting idly by and falling asleep while he had to stay up all night to make sure that Tripp lived. She walked down to the stairs quietly to infirmary, the usual bounciness absent from her step. She tapped softly on the window so as not to startle him. Simon's head popped up and he saw her, a smile emerging on his worn face. Kaylee returned one and entered the room; she remembered it the way that it had started when he had started on the ship: cold and sterile, organized and precise. Now, the medicines lacking a bit of organization and the newly painted cabinets made the smile on her face grow even bigger. “What's so funny?” Simon asked as she plopped down next to him, shoving the food and juice onto his lap. “Nothin',”Kaylee replied. “It's jus' that this place has changed so much since you started. All the shiny new cabinets and your tools are out o' the boxes now. I like it a lot.” She kissed him on the cheek. “That's all thanks to you,” he said. “I'd never have gone this out of the box without you, and this isn't even that out of the box.” “You jus' have a few issues, Simon.” “Really?” he said, tapping her lightly. “Mhmm,” Kaylee informed him seriously. “Like those sweater vests.” “Hey, sweater vests are very...” Simon's voice faded as he waved his hands around, searching for a good word. “Practical.” “'Til you get 'em dirty,” Kaylee muttered. “What was that?” Simon said, mockingly hurt. “Nothin'.” “Sure about that?” “Positive.” “Then I'll just have to do this.” Simon reached over tickled her with energy, despite being locked in the room for ages. Kaylee just gave him new hope. And what better way to act on that new hope than by tickling her?” “Simon... stop... it!” she gasped as she laughed. Kaylee lived for these moments: just the two of them, goofing off, with Simon finally getting himself out of his bubble. Besides, she usually ended up kissing him after they had stopped playing around. But their moment ended too soon, with the beeping of one of the machines Tripp was hooked up to. Simon jumped up, checked the machine and said, with practiced calmness, “Kaylee, hand me the blue syringe in that drawer right there.” He pointed to a drawer and Kaylee scampered toward it. She pulled out what he asked for and threw it him. He filled it in a needle and, with a bit of hesitation, stuck it gently, yet firmly, into Tripp. Kaylee couldn't watch. Simon might not be brave in the sense that he could kill anyone on command, but brave in the sense that he could deal with causing a little bit of pain to make the whole thing better. She new that he didn't think he was brave for this, but she admired that quality greatly. Just another thing that made her love him even more each day. “W-What happened?” Kaylee choked out, scared. Simon turned away from Tripp, not realizing that he had just become suddenly breathless. “His heart started going crazy.” Simon had also learned from his time on board that he should stop talking medically and start using simple terms so that the crew could understand him. “I think that medicine should keep it at bay, but I can't tell if he'll make it.” He smiled ironically. “It's funny how quickly things can change. Just a few minutes ago, I was pretty sure he was going to be fine. But now...” He paused and sighed, tearing his eyes away from Kaylee's and fixing them on little Tripp as they began to well up with tears. “I just can't tell. I just can't tell.” Kaylee wrapped him into a hug and they moved back onto the chair in the middle of the room. Simon buried his face into his hands and Kaylee comfortingly rubbed his back. “Somethin' wrong, Simon? I mean, with Tripp and all, but I meant... somethin' else?” Without looking up, Simon answered, “You know the reason that I never did anything in med school? No parties, no hanging out with friends, no girlfriends, no watching things on the Cortex, no nothing? And it wasn't because I'm antisocial. You know the real reason?” Kaylee shook her head, mystified. Even though they had been together for a few months, Simon had still never opened up this completely to her about anything. Granted, nothing like this had ever happened, but still. He never got emotional about anything. “What's the reason, Simon?” He raised his head to look up at her, tears shining on his face. “Because I was so afraid of losing a patient. So afraid of being the one responsible for killing someone. Having another person's life in your hands, well, it's scary. I had to study to make sure I never lost anyone. When I was a kid, I had to take every IQ test and career test that I found on the Cortex. To make sure that I was smart enough. And every time someone died on my watch, I felt so... bad.” He couldn't think of a good word in his state, and that was the best he could come up with. “It doesn't get easier as you lose more people. It gets worse. Another death that you could've stopped. Even if you couldn't have stopped it, you still think you could have. It's an awful feeling. “I've never lost a baby before, but I lost about ten little kids.” Tears dripped silently down his cheeks as Kaylee moved to brush them away. “They were in a ship that had accidentally crashed. I could've saved them all, each and every one of them. But at that same moment, some high powered Alliance men got shot, too. There were only two of them, and I couldn't save both groups. I would've chosen to save the kids, but the Alliance brought some men with them. Told me I had to save the officers.” He took a long, slow, shaky breath and continued, “So I did what they told me to do. Held me at gunpoint, too, before I gave in. But I gave in. I saved two lousy xiáng lǜ zi when I could've saved a bunch of kids. That's not right.” Kaylee held him closer as she felt the tears he had struggled to keep in flow freely onto her shirt. She knew that this must be a painful memory for him, and knew that the best way to deal with it would be to let him cry his eyes out. Of course, the fact that Tripp might need tending to could interrupt this process. Nearly ten minutes later Simon stopped sobbing and leaned up to look at her. Kaylee kissed his forehead tenderly and whispered, “Feelin' better?” He nodded. “A bit.” Simon wiped his eyes and stared at Tripp again. Sensing what he was thinking, she told him firmly, “Don' worry about him. 'Lil Washburne'll come through just fine.” “I love you, Kaylee,” he said exasperatedly. She noticed how tired he was and decided to take pity on him. “Simon, why don' you go ta sleep?” He shook his head vehemently. “I can't. I need to be awake for Tripp.” “I know you're a light sleeper, so I can wake ya up if he does anythin',” Kaylee informed him. He was about to say something when she added, “'Sides, you need the sleep anyways. Ya can't do anythin' when you're too tired.” He nodded reluctantly and laid his head back on the bed as she got up. Simon fell asleep the moment he hit the pillow. He looked so cute and peaceful when he slept, today more than any other day. Kaylee didn't dare leave the room with Tripp in there still fighting to breath. She tried not to think about anything, for her thoughts usually wandered in the Tripp-is-not-going-to-make-it direction. She spent the rest of the night yawning and attempting not to fall asleep. She stole Simon's encyclopedia and read that out of sheer boredom. By the time seven o' clock came around, Wash and Zoe came into the infirmary. Wash helped Zoe in as she was still weak from yesterday. “How's our little boy?” Wash asked, his voice cracking and his eyes a bit tearful. Kaylee shrugged. “I dunno. Somethin' weird happened last night, but other than that nothin' has happened. Simon's sleepin', but he probably oughta be woken up anyways, jus' to check.” Wash and Zoe, their breath caught in their throats, watched as Kaylee softly nudged Simon awake. The doctor moaned and opened his eyes cautiously and then, as if remembering where he was, he snapped up and headed straight for Tripp, thinking there was something wrong. “Relax, honey,” Kaylee told him, coming up behind him and putting her hand on his shoulder. “Wash an' Zoe jus' wanna know what's goin' on is all.” “Oh.” Simon just noticed that Wash and Zoe were standing at the door, Zoe leaning heavily on Wash. He bustled around, checking the tubes and readings. Then, he smiled broadly. “He's just fine. He stabilized overnight. In about three hours, I'll take everything out and you can hold him.” Zoe and Wash hugged for the longest time, practically sobbing with joy. Kaylee gave Simon a kiss and said, “Told you there was nothin' to worry 'bout. Tripp's fine. Things worked out.” “Yeah,” Simon replied, smirking. He looked at Tripp and then back at Kaylee again. “Guess they worked out just fine.” *** Three hours later, the rest of the crew had woken up and they stood eagerly outside of the infirmary, waiting to see the baby. Wash and Zoe were allowed some time by themselves to see their little Tripp, and they enjoyed every second of it. “Think of it, Zoe,” Wash said. “Someday we'll be doing this to Tripp's children...” Zoe snorted. “Wash, baby, we just had our child. Don't you think it's a little early to be wanting grandchildren?” “But he's so cute,” Wash squealed. Zoe laughed. “Did you ever think that we could have another one?” Wash lifted head, as he was busy making funny faces at Tripp. “Really? How long to you have to wait to have another one? Where's Simon?” “I'm not ready for another one, Wash,” Zoe moaned. “It's a lot easier to watch me have the baby than to be the one who actually has it.” “What the hell you doin' in there?” Jayne yelled. Zoe rolled her eyes at the merc even though he couldn't see them. “Cap'n and 'Nara can come in now,” she announced. Mal had resisted with every bone in his body to see that baby. He fought, kicked, and screamed, but Inara had pushed him into it. Fact was, Mal certainly did not want to have kids of his own. Married, yeah, hell, he was married. But kids? This line of work did not permit it, no matter what Zoe and Wash thought. He was afraid that if he saw that kid, he'd want to have kids. He reasoned that he probably wouldn't care who he had the kids with, though he would prefer if he had them with Inara. Plus she might shoot him if he had a kid with anyone but him, considered that they were man and wife. But he wasn't having kids. He wasn't going to. Ever. Period. So he and Inara entered the room, and he looked right down at the baby. Inara smiled warmly at him and Zoe lifted Tripp to her so that she could hold him. The two women smiled at each other, reaching an understanding that only women could share. Mal glanced at Wash, who seemed to know exactly how his captain felt. “He's a very perfect baby,” Inara complemented. “He's beautiful.” “Aw, thanks, Inara,” Wash said, in a mockingly bashful tone. “You two done good,” Mal breathed as he looked at the sweet little thing in Inara's arms. His voice caught in his throat and he couldn't say any more. Inara noticed the look on Mal's face and smiled at him, knowing that his heart very much wanted to have a child- a child with her, she hoped- but that his head told him not. “Do you want to hold him, Mal?” “Hold him?” Mal appeared confused. “Oh, you mean hold the baby... Yeah, sure.” “Support his head, sir,” Zoe told him. “Head, yeah, got it,” Mal said. Truthfully, he didn't want to hold Tripp. He wanted to put as much distance between himself and the little bundle of joy as possible. But that was not an option as Inara placed Tripp into his arms. “Wow...” He liked holding the boy, and was pretty sure that he would have to stop himself from spoiling the kid senseless. Mal didn't want to admit it, but he was suddenly wishing that this was his child, not Washburne, Jr. Inara smiled down on the man, hoping that seeing the little boy would weaken his resolve. Ever since they had gotten married, she had desperately wanted to have children. Her jian ma lou of a husband, however, had resisted her efforts, though she knew that very soon she'd break down his walls. Seeing Tripp grow up would certainly change his mind. “We gonna see this baby anytime soon?” Jayne was obviously not a patient man. Inara rolled her eyes but called out, “We're leaving, Jayne. Don't worry.” “Good,” Jayne replied. “I gotta pee.” The four inside the infirmary stared strangely at the doors, but didn't say anything. Mal stood there for a while, before Wash brought him back to his senses. “Captain?” “What?” “Can we have our baby back?” “Oh, yeah.” Mal carefully transferred the baby back to Zoe and he took Inara's hand as they exited the room. When they had past the other crew members and were back in Mal's bunk, Inara asked him, “Do you still not want to have children?” “I got no new notions regarding kids,” Mal told her. “Lil' Washburne's gonna be a fun kid, no doubt 'bout that. But our own kid? Think about the diapers and the screaming and the crying and don't get me started on the food fights.” “But they're so cute and sweet,” Inara fought back happily. They had this “argument” once a week, so it had become sort of routine. “Besides, they're all sorts of fun to play with.” “Yeah, well,” Mal began, getting ready to say his usual comeback, but no matter how much he didn't want to admit it, the idea of having kids of his one was just starting to get to him. “Ask me in a couple of years.” Inara smiled wholly at him. She'd never gotten him to tell her that he actually wanted kids. Taking him to see and hold Tripp, she thought as she leaned into his hug, might have just given her another miracle.