BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

GOMITHROUS

Going Well
Sunday, November 19, 2006

First fic ever, it's Simon/Kaylee. Just a look at what would happen right after Serenity ended, if I continue I'll have some Mal/Inara and even some Jayne/River.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1639    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Pairing(s): Simon/Kaylee, Mal/Inara, Jayne/River (eventually). Time Period: Takes place immediately after Serenity. Rating: PG, Possibly PG-13. Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon.

AN: This is my first Fanfic so any and all comments are appreciated, good or bad. I sort of have a few ideas as to what I can do with this, but it’s pretty much just a test to try and get a feel for the characters. Also it is totally un-betad because I don’t have one. Very, very brief.

***

“What was that?” cried a startled Mal as a piece flew off his ship. “Probably nothing, I’ll go ask Kaylee if you’ll take over” stated River knowingly. “Fine just hurry will ya? I’m getting’ a might dreary” replied Mal. With that River got up and headed straight for the engine room, making sure to be very quiet so as not to disturb the, happy couple.

She didn’t know why she was spying up on them. But being both a curious teenager and a bratty little sister she found it an impossible opportunity to pass up. She was happy for her brother and Kaylee, they had finally gotten it right, finally found each other. It had been a matter of waiting for Simon, Kaylee had known how she felt the second she saw him. Simon had felt the same way he just didn’t know it and it took him a little while to realize it; he was such a boob.

***

An hour later Simon and Kaylee had made it to her bunk (with River following them the whole way through the vents), now they were lying contently in each other’s arms. “You’re amazing” stated Simon, a huge smile plastered all over his face. “You ain’t so bad yourself” replied Kaylee. “But I’m not just talking about the sex” Simon at that point realized he might’ve said something wrong “Not that I’m saying that isn’t amazing or anything, just-“.

“Simon sweetie relax, just say what you was gonna say”

Simon nodded, “The way you always find the light out here in the black, no matter what. How you always see through people’s faults, see the good in them” The whole time he was speaking he was staring right into her eyes, completely mesmerized by her beauty, then for the first time in a long time Simon actually said what he thought without thinking twice and didn’t mess it up. “Kaylee, you’re so beautiful”.

“Love you Simon” replied Kaylee who was obviously very excited that he’d finally openned up to her, without messing up.

“Love you too” and with that Kaylee kissed him. She didn’t even start it off soft, it was deep and passionate from the start, her tongue bombarding his. When they parted for air Simon suddenly stopped her. “Kaylee, can we just cuddle, I want to I really do but I’m tired and- River! I haven’t even though to check on River.”

“It’s okay Simon, I’m fine you stay here with Kaylee”

Both Kaylee and Simon’s eyes widened considerably. “River how long have you been here?” asked Simon, fear and outrage obvious in his tone. “Long enough” she replied and with that she left the room, leaving Simon and Kaylee in shock.

“Simon are you gonna be okay?” asked Kaylee who was now very worried about Simon. “Uh, I’m… huh” was all Simon could push past his lips. “Maybe you should go check on her”.

“That’s probably a good idea”

“I’ll help ya find yer clothes”

*** It had been over an hour and River was nowhere to be found. Mal put Serenity on autopilot and headed to the kitchen for some tea. On the way there though, he was interrupted. Just as he was walking past Kaylee’s bunk, it opened and out popped a very shirtless Simon (though he had one in his hand) and a very happy Kaylee kissing him on the cheek with nowhere close to as many clothes.

“So I take it things are goin’ well”

***

I hope you all liked it, criticism is welcome. Comment or a giant purple llama will come in the middle of the night and eat all your socks.

COMMENTS

Sunday, November 19, 2006 1:10 PM

STINKINGROSE


Weelll...as a mom I have to say I'd probably have given it a PG 13 for the tongue bit, but other than that it was shiny!
Nice first try, definitely! I remember posting my first fic. Thought I was going to die from nerves.
Folk 'round about these parts are generous with the praise. They'll also offer honest criticism. Sometimes more than you were hoping for, but it's usually not unwarranted! Live and learn, and keep writing.

Sunday, November 19, 2006 4:01 PM

LEIASKY


Very nicely done for a first fic. A bunch of punctuation errors though, which did make it a bit harder to follow.

Definitely find a beta because a good one will catch all those little errors and polish up what you've already written.

Sunday, November 19, 2006 4:09 PM

BORNTOFLY


For a first fanfic attempt ever, this was really damn good. As you said, this is just an attempt to get a handle on the characters, and you've done well.

I love the idea that Simon's gotten no better at transfering his thoughts to rolling them off his tongue with any kind of skill. At least Kaylee didn't storm off in a huff....and River..BWAHAHAHA.

As you said, this is unbeta'd, so it's just a little bit rough, but nothing major at all. There's a beta volounteer thread somewhere over in the Blue Sun Room section of the Community Forum, so give that a try. I'm not saying you NEED a beta, but..well, I have two and I still flat out refuse to even post my stuff. They're just good for advice for me, as my grammar is pretty good (not that you'd know).

As I said, this was a great little short piece, especially for a first attempt, and I'd love to see that continuation you were talking about.

Sunday, November 19, 2006 6:55 PM

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT


I posted a comment over by the blog entry, because I couldn't get commentary to work here. Prob'ly my own fault.
good stuff, like it, love the punch line. Mal gets it wrong, as usual.

BornToSky, c'mon. Put something up. Come out and play...

Monday, November 20, 2006 12:46 AM

GOMITHROUS


Thanks so much guys, I'm so glad you all liked it. I'm gonna go searching for a beta, I'll have the next one up ASAP.

Monday, November 20, 2006 12:48 AM

GOMITHROUS


That was supposed to be a biggrin, oh well guess it doesn't work on comments...

Monday, November 20, 2006 7:07 AM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Well now...busted your fic cherry, have you? Well...congratulations, Gomithrous!

;)

This was a mighty entertain' tale, I have to admit. A tad bit short and paced a bit too quick...and some roughness did pop up, but definitely a fine piece of writing. I especially loved the part where River was thinking on why she was following Simon and Kaylee around when they were trying to have a private moment or two, cuz she is definitely keeping up the role of bratty little sister;)

BEB

Wednesday, November 29, 2006 2:28 AM

BLACKBEANIE


Aww, that was cute and funny, I love it.


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