Darriel Scene 1 Scene opens with Sheppard Book spotting Jayne bench pressing. River and Kaylee are running around, Mal and Zoë are discussing their need for a job and a meal containing some form of food.

Jayne: 98, 99, 100. Sheppard you wanna go? Book: No thank you, I remember what happened last time. Jayne: Huh, sorry about that… Book: Very well, but pay attention. Jayne: ‘right. (Gets up) Book: Add another hundred pounds. (Lies down) Jayne: You sure you can handle that old man? Book: Oh yes, very sure. Jayne: Don say I didn’ warn you. (Ads weight)

Scene 2 Zoë: So, what do you think sir? Mal: Well, I think my boat’s fallin’ apart and I need to eat somethin’ that isn’t just protein. Zoë: So, what would you suggest, sir? Mal: Badger? Zoë: Are you crazy sir? Mal: Fanty and Mingo? Zoë: They’d sell us to the alliance. Mal: Who wouldn’t, Fanty and Mingo it is.

Scene 3 A small one man craft with a man about 30 years old. Alphonse: 10,000,000 credits, I’ll take it. (Pushes buttons on the control panel, the screen shows a firefly class transport ship, captain, Malcolm Reynolds) Scene 4 Mal: Who the hell is on my gorram boat?! (Red light is flashing on the bridge) Wash: Well, there’s me, and you, and my wife, and River, and Simon, and Kaylee, and Inara, and Sheppard, and Jayne. Mal: Well, who just got on the ship?! Wash: Oh, probably just your wife. Mal: SHE’S NOT MY WIFE!!!!! Wash: Hey, it’s not my fault you’re married. Mal: Alright, let’s go kill her. Wash: Right, I’ll just leave the controls and let the ship crash, no problem. Mal: We means, you’re wife and I. Wash: Well then say that. Mal: Right, I’ll be sure to do that next time. Wash: Alright then. Mal: Okay. Wash: Aren’t you supposed to find the intruder? Mal: Yeah, I just wanted to talk for a while. (Runs off) Scene 5 Alphonse: (Shoots at Mal) Just hand ‘em over, I’m just here for the bounty. Mal: You ain’t getting’ one of my crew. Alphonse: We can do this the easy way, or the way where I waste ammo killing all of you. Zoë: Really? (Shoots him in the back) Alphonse: (Goes flying across the room. Gets up) I’m wearing body armor. (Shoots Zoë in the stomach) Mal: Why do alliance scum always shoot my crew in the stomach? (Shoots at his face) Alphonse: (Rolls to the left, fires a repeater at Mal) Just hand ‘em over. River: (Walks up behind him and knocks him out with a kick to the head) Hi. Mal: Hi… Did you just take out a bounty hunter. River: He was shooting at you. Mal: Yeah… But how’d you knock him out? River: I kicked him. Mal: I saw that, that was funny. Book: Who is this man? Mal: Bounty hunter. Simon get in here (speaking into com). Book: Oh, after the Tams? Mal: I suppose so. Simon: What happened here? River: He was shooting- Mal: We’ll tell you later, take care of Zoë. Simon: Uh, right… (Drags her to the infirmary)(theme song) Scene 6 Kaylee: She gonna be alright? Simon: She’ll be just shiny. Kaylee: Shiny. ‘Nara!? Inara: Hello Kaylee, what happened to Zoë. Kaylee: She was shot. Inara: Oh, is Jayne still goin’ on about not getting a letter from his mother for a month? Kaylee: No, he’s wearing his hat now, but this was a bounty hunter. Inara: Oh, where’s Mal? Kaylee: Arguing with Sheppard about what to do with him. Inara: Oh. Scene 7 Mal: He’s after River; the last time this happened we shoved him off into space. Book: Yes, but he’s still human. Mal: If he’s such a human than why’s he do everything the alliance tell him to do. Book: For the money, just like you are. Mal: But I don’t obey the alliance. Inara: Mal, when are you going to take me back to the academy?! Mal: When my gorram boat is working! Book: Your prisoner is gone. Mal: What, aw gorramit, why didn’t you let me kill him!? Book: Right now we need to find River and Simon! Mal: I’m the captain… and I say we need to find River and Simon! Scene 8 Jayne: Something’s wrong here. Wash, call up your friend. Wash: You’re not the captain. Jayne: Do it, or Viera will put a big hole in your head. Wash: Yes, sir. (Pushes buttons) Mr. Universe: Hello. Jayne: No time for small talk, tell me who this gorram bounty hunter’s after! Scene 9 Mal: Simon! River! Zoë: River! Simon? Book: Let’s split up. Mal: I reckon that ain’t a bad idea. Scene 10 Mal: River there you are. River: He escaped… Mal: Yeah, that’s right. Scene 11 Mr. Universe: He’s after someone named…. Darriel. Scene 12 Alphonse knocks out Sheppard Book and handcuffs him Scene 13 Mr. Universe: He apparently turned on the alliance and became a Sheppard. Jayne: Sheppard Book!? Mr. Universe: Uh, yes, Darriel Book. Scene 14 Alphonse: Alright, 10,000,000 credits. (Carries Book to his ship) Scene 15 Jayne: (Speaking to com) He’s after Sheppard Book!!!! Wash: (Speaking to com) Cap’n should I chase, his ship left! Com: (Mal) What?! No, let him run. Wash: Yes sir. Scene 15 Mal: Sheppard’s missing!? Chase him, chase him! Wash: It’s too late. Mal: What do you mean? Wash: We’ve lost sight of him. Mal: Well find him. Wash: It’s TOO late. Kaylee: Sheppard’s really gone? River: His hairs gone? Wash: He still has his hair and he’s gone. Kaylee: No…….. River: …………. Scene 16 Alphonse: Sorry it’s a little cramped, Grandpa. Book: Where are you taking me, and I was never married. Alphonse: I’m taking you back to the alliance. Book: I left them for a reason. Alphonse: That’s none of my business. Book: Just let me out of here. Alphonse: I wouldn’t get paid then. Book: God, please forgive me. (His hands shake behind Alphonse’s neck, he closes his eyes and snaps Alphonse’s neck, and sets course for a planet, Haven.) Scene 17 Wash: Opening up communications, Mal, it’s Sheppard. Book: I’m going to Haven, I hear they need a Sheppard. Mal: You’re part of my crew. Book: I was just a passenger. Mal: No you weren’t, a man can never really leave Serenity. Book: That’s true, but I’ve had enough for a long time. Mal: How’d you escape. Book: I didn’t I………..I……. Mal: You killed him? Book: I….did. Mal: That’s alright, it was self defense. Book: It was still killing. Mal: You’re human, human’s kill. Book: That’s not true. Mal: Maybe you’re right, but we do when we have to. Book: That’s not what I’m gonna be preaching. Mal: I know. You sure you wanna leave, Serenity won’t be the same without you? Book: I’m sure. Mal: (Turns off com) Well we did a good job with that bounty hunter. Wash: You weren’t even there. Mal: Well let’s not get caught up in technicalities. Scene 18 Kaylee: Zoë’s gonna be just shiny right Simon? Simon: Yeah…. She’ll be fine, she’s no worse off than you were. Kaylee: Really? That’s shiny, that means she’ll be better in no time. Simon: Yeah……… Scene 19 Mal: Inara, we’re almost there, you sure you wanna leave. Inara: I’m not sure of anything, but I have to do this. Mal: Alright… You’re not keepin’ the shuttle though. Inara: I expected that. Mal: Need any help packing? Someone to put your underwear away? Inara: No, I’m packed. Mal: Oh, I was kinda lookin’ forward to that last part. Inara: I’m sure you were, good bye Mal. (Exit) Mal: First Shepherd, then you, eventually I’m gonna be all by my lonesome… Scene 20 Kaylee: ‘Nara, you have to leave? Inara: Yes, but I’ll miss you. Kaylee: Please stay, we need you. Inara: I’m sorry, look if it would make you feel better, you can come with me to see my room. Kaylee: Will you do my hair? Inara: Of course. Scene 21 Inara: See I’ll be staying here, and I’ll be able to call you all the time. Kaylee: How often will you call me? Inara: Once a week, if not once a day. Kaylee: Alright, can you make me look good for Simon. Inara: Alright, how do you want your hair? Scene 22 Kaylee walks out of the academy with her hair braided. She walks over to a building, with something written on it in Chinese. Kaylee: Any mail for Serenity. Joseph: Malcolm Reynold’s ship? (She nods) Got some letters for them. Kaylee: Shiny! Scene 23 Kaylee: (Walks onto the ship, letters in her hand, hand them to the crew, one for Malcolm, one for Zoë, two for Wash, two for herself, which she puts in her pockets, and one package with a letter tied on) Jayne, xin wei ni! Jayne: Mommy?! I mean, gimme that. Kaylee: Here, what’s it say? Jayne: Get outta here! Kaylee: No, I wanna here! Jayne: (Pushes her out) De-ar, Dear Jayne, I fig-ur-Ed, Figured, thaat, Your Viera, cold, could use, a hat. She wold luk so cute on dis-play wit-h a lit-lee hat. I hop you cun com, come home, soon. I wuld like toe see your fake, your face. Love, Mommy. (Opens the package, and puts the little orange hat on his favorite gun) Scene 24 Kaylee: Simon, Zoë doing alright. Simon: Ta jiangyao shi hao. She just needs some rest. Kaylee: Shiny. Simon: You look beau- I mean, I like what you did with your hair. (Blushes) Kaylee: You do, thanks, Inara did it for me. Simon: Oh… Kaylee: Should I wear it like this more often. Simon: Yeah. I mean if you want to… You look great. Kaylee: Yeah, thanks, wanna go get dinner before we take off? Simon: Uh, sure… Yeah Scene 24 Wash: Zoë, I’m glad you’re awake. Zoë: Shouldn’t you be flying this thing. What happened to the bounty hunter? is River alright? Wash: He was after Shepherd. Zoë: Is he alright? Wash: He was kidnapped killed the bounty hunter, and moved to Haven. Zoë: I thought Inara was leaving, not Shepherd. Wash: She left too. Zoë: Seven is a lucky umber. Wash: Yeah. Scene 25 Kaylee and Simon are sitting on a bed in Simon and River’s room, River is no where to be seen. Kaylee: I love steak, thanks for buy that. Simon: You’re welcome, I had fun. Kaylee: Yeah, me too, and the champagne… (Leans on Simon’s shoulder) Simon: Kaylee… Are you asleep? Kaylee: No, I’m just so comfortable with you. Simon: Really? Kaylee: Yeah. Scene 25 Two days later Mal: Fanty and Mingo want us to get the goods from a ship that was working for them and went missing. They were last seen by Persephone. Zoë: So we go there and then back to Beaumonde. Simple. Mal: If they’re there. Zoë: They will be. Jayne: (Enter) Shiny, we kill them and we take their cargo. Mal: Feh hua, I reckon they’d kill ‘emselves before giving us a job that easy. Jayne: Long as I get to fight and get paid. Mal: You will. Scene 26 River enters her room and sees Kaylee and Simon asleep in Simon’s bed. River: Zhuhe ni, you finally did it. Scene 27 Wash: I found the ship, it’s in Reaver territory. Mal: Shin tata guay! Are you sure it’s the right ship. Wash: Yes. Mal: Gorramit, well let’s go. Wash: What, that’s suicide! Mal: So is everything else we do. Call me when we’re boarded by Reavers, or when we’re there. (Exits) Wash: Will do! Scene 28 Jayne: So, you’re gonna kill us?! Mal: No, we’re gonna get the cargo and run. Jayne: We’re humped, we are humped! Mal: Aw, we’ll be fine. Scene 29 Jayne is in a space suit, on the abandoned ship. Jayne: Alright, I found the cargo Com: (Mal) Bring it in, and we’ll be off to Beaumonde. Jayne: Alright, I am. (Brings the cargo in) Mal: See, that was easy, and now we just gotta run away without being seen by Reavers, and then deliver the cargo without running into the Alliance. Jayne: There, I better get paid. (Serenity takes off at full speed) Scene 30 Mal: Fanty, Mingo. Mingo: How do you always do that!? Mal: Fanty isn’t as fat. Mingo: …………………………. (Glares) Mal: So, let’s talk business. Fanty: You got the cargo. Mal: Yeah, it’s right outside. Fanty: Why isn’t it here? Mal: I’d look too suspicious, and here’s the proof. (Hands him a bag of grain) Fanty: Alright, here’s 30,000. Mal: We agreed on 40. Fanty: You were late. Mal: I was just on time. Fanty: 35 Mal: 40 Mingo: Alright, we’ll pay it, here. (Hands him a bag) Scene 31 Kaylee: Mal, did you get the new parts I needed. Mal: Yeah, and I bought something extra. (Holds out a basket of apples and oranges) Kaylee: Shiny, I’m so happy. (Takes an apple) Mal: Good. (Hugs Kaylee) Zoë: So we got fruit, and the money. Shiny. Mal: Yeah, we’re doing great. Jayne: Hey, apples, and money. (Takes 10% and an apple) Simon: Hey Kaylee. (Turns to Mal) Any injuries? (Takes an orange) Mal: No. (Takes an apple and cuts out the center) Wash: (Takes two apples, and hands one to Zoë) Here, honey. River: (Steals Kaylee’s apple) Yay, apple! (Runs off) Kaylee: Hey, that’s mine! (Chases after her) Mal: Not again… (Roll credits)