Just Another Day By Kaynara *** Mal stomped onto the bridge, his heavy footsteps echoed by the soft slip-slap of Kaylee’s straw sandals. “But, Cap'n—” “I said no, Kaylee. Not a topic I care to be discussing ad nauseum.” From her position in Wash’s lap, Zoe swirled her eyes before settling back to enjoy the show. That was fine with Kaylee, as she intended to put on a good one. “Ain't fair, Cap'n,” she pressed, looking to Wash for support. Wash joined his hands around Zoe’s middle and bobbed his head in agreement. “Yeah, Mal, it’s not fair. Hey, what are we talking about?" “Nothin’. Cuz there’s nothing to discuss!” He employed his captainy face. It had never actually worked, but he was still hoping. “What we aren’t discussin',” Kaylee informed Wash with a glare, “is the cap'n bein' a hoe-tze duh pee-goo an’ scarin' off my friend back at the bar.” “Oh, ho—just hold on! Kaylee, that man weren't your friend!” "We was on the way to bein’ friends,” she retorted. “He asked me to dance.” "Only dancin' he wanted to do was the kind takes places in your...heart. On your heart.” Mal shrugged, the blush starting to creep up his neck. “As in dancin' on it…stompin’…on....” She watched the tips of his ears fade back to skin-color. Was a rare occasion to get the captain speakin' on the subject of…dancing. Maybe this night wasn’t a total wash. “Don’t need your permission to take a roll, Cap'n.” Wash and Zoe were eyeing the exchange with blatant interest now. “If you're rollin' on my ship, you do!” That was a good argument. His ship, his rules. Right. "But, Cap'n!" "Kaylee?” He leaned back against the console, folding his arms over his chest. “This look like the face of a man who’s like to change his mind?” “No.” She pouted, decided that would get her exactly nowhere and switched tracks. “Ain’t exactly a virgin,” she said brazenly. “Not for a long time now.” Wash and Zoe swiveled their heads back, waiting on Mal’s response. Mal cringed; that was not a topic he cared to be lingering on. Kaylee bit her lip to hide the grin. “Save the confessionals for if'n we ever meet ourselves a preacher,” he said, thinking that was an especially witty comeback. “Now, go on down to your bunk, darlin'. Fella was way too old for ya anyway.” “Did he just send her to bed?” Wash mused. “Sir?” Zoe cleared her throat. “Sir, you can’t send the crew to bed.” "Why not? My boat, ain't she? Speakin’ of bed, thinkin’ on headin’ there my own self.” He forced a yawn. “Oh, no, you don’t, Cap’n! We ain’t quite finished. How come I ain’t allowed to get sexed?” Mal choked on the yawn. “Huh, Cap? I’m a grown woman, you know. Got needs like any other.” “Oh, God, Kaylee, stop!” Wash had his fist half in his mouth and was biting down on the knuckles hard enough to draw blood. He giggled, and Zoe shot him a stern look before snorting out a laugh and burying her face in his shoulder. Mal shot them both death glares. “What’s so wrong about me gettin' sexed?” Kaylee demanded. “Nothing wrong about it. Nothing wrong with waiting till you’re—yeah—married.” Here Zoe raised a brow. “Oh, this is gonna be good,” Wash said excitedly, and Zoe didn’t bother to scold him. "Is that so?" Kaylee leaned against the console, stretching her arms up over her head. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep the grin from spreading. "I gotta be married to get sexed?" “That’s the idea.” "Hmm. You ever been married, Cap'n?" "I—no." Mal frowned. This was taking a fast turn. "So guess that means you're still... you know." Kaylee beamed, pleased with herself. This was almost good as…okay, maybe not *that* good.  "Well, that ain't exactly—” "Aw, it's shiny, Cap’n. Really, it's sweet, you savin' yourself that way." "Who's saving him or herself and from what?" The female voice had them all turning. "Inara!" Mal snorted. "Not likely." Kaylee grinned and wrapped an arm around Inara’s waist. “Missed you,” she said simply. “Missed you back,” Inara answered. "Yay, you’re home. Ooh, look: shiny parts. The pin from the senator? And the earrings? Did you…was he…did you get to take a bath?” “Yes to all of the above.” Inara smiled. “What are you all doing up here? Serenity was so quiet when I docked; I feared Mal had gotten you all bound by law.” “Wei!” Mal put on his best hurt face. “We’re all just shiny, Nara,” Zoe assured. “Course some of us could be shinier.” Kaylee turned to glare at Mal. “If'n the cap'n weren't a cock block.” Mal looked offended. "Hey, now. I ain't a...what’d she call me?" "But it's all for my own good." Kaylee made her eyes go wide. "Cap'n, here, thinks I oughta wait for marriage." "Does he now?" Inara's lips twitched. "Yep. Wants me to save myself...like he's doin'." "Why, Mal." Inara flattened her hand against her chest. "I had no idea. Aren't you a little...well, curious?" "Yeah, Mal, aren’t ya curious?” Wash asked. Zoe clapped a hand over her lips. Mal just shook his head. "You're all goin' to hell, you know that?" "For our wicked, libidinous ways?” Inara asked, laughing. "No. For bein' mean! Y'all done makin' me the fool? Can I go to bed now?" The girls and Wash were laughing outright now, Zoe's face contorted in her effort not to. “Aw, Cap'n, you know we're teasin'.” Kaylee stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “Don't mean no harm.” “I'll try to remember that when I'm cryin' myself to sleep. Night.” Not unrelieved, he watched Inara and Kaylee stroll off arm in arm. Groaning, he collapsed into the co-pilot's seat. “That girl is gonna drive me to an early grave,” he reflected. Zoe smirked. “We got a plan, sir? That is if we ain't gravediggin'.” “Do the job for Badger. That's the plan. There's a salvage op, somewhere in the neighborhood of Persephone. Thinkin' of takin' on passengers when we get to there.” “Earn some extra cash, sir?” “That's the notion. 'Sides, maybe it'll distract a certain boy-crazed mechanic. Give her somethin' to think on other than crushin' over the locals whenever we hit dirt.” “Can't hurt.” “Yeah, passengers. I can regale them with my shadow puppets.” Wash grinned adoringly at his wife. “And extra cash...hey, maybe we can use some of that coin for a room with a bath....” Mal nodded. “Yep. Gonna be smooth sailin' here on in.” *** END