The memories just wouldn't go away.

No matter how hard he tried, no matter how many credits he spent in the LUCKY 7, they wouldn't go away. He had tried coming in earlier in the day right after getting released from the menial duties they had assigned him after his return to "Independant Control". They were probably still trying to figure out what had happened exactly, the rear echelon pogues of the high command needed to assure themselves that they wouldnt get spattered with any brown organic matter at a later date more than likely. Either way reality was now sorting out replacement parts for deployed squadrons and getting polluted by early evening.

What was the point any more, they were all gone.

It hadn't always been like this thought Pilot First Class David Ellis staring into his glass, There was a time when flying was life, "I was invincible!" To engage drive and blast through atmo was a visceral experience. Transitioning thru to the black was always beautiful. The feel of engines ripping the atmosphere as you rode the column of flame and gee forces was intense and personal no matter how many times you did it. And then it happened. No matter how often you lifted you had to look outside the cockpit and watch the bright sunlight fade rapidly to a dark rich blue in wich everything was so crisp and clear. Where light attracted ones gaze not repelled or damged it. It felt like a renewal , a rebirth... something. You just felt like anything was possible and there were mysteries to be solved and knowledge to be gained. The verse for a brief moment in time was trying to communicate to an insignificant species its glory, majesty and mystery all in an instance.

Not anymore. Sitting in the downtime dive that loooked like the spitting image of a bad wav sitcom set was so far removed from the beauty and innocence of the verse that it was incomparable. Faded paint peeling off plassteel, old recruiting posters "modified" with comments and cartoons from the multidude of visitors before, as well as the pristine pinups that none dare to deface, all were in evidence. The long bar, the music comming from the box in the corner over the ragged sound system all seemed to be a final statement on the efforts, beliefs and dreams of David Ellis.

He was there. At that point where he was ready to give in. He couldn't take it any more. What was the point. No one cared. You risked your life every day. You never knew when a mission would come down. You started joking about it and gradually the humor turns to satire and before you know, it's resigned gallows humor. Then the mishaps start. A rough landing here or a missed checkpoint there. Then as you are walking off the flight liine you see a maintanance crew staring off into the horizon in front of an empty bunker. Later during debrief you start to figure it out when Intell starts asking if you saw JOKER TWO NINER after departure from the LZ or when was the last time you saw TRIUMPH ONE FOUR after turning on final approach.

Lifting the dirty glass filled with the syn alc to his lips in a well practiced movement devoid of any wasted effort, something caught his eye. A reflection in the long mirror showed a woman in a well worn medical jumpsuit against the far wall. She was alone in the booth of cracked spltting upholstry. Her hair was tied back in a neet functional bun with a shade or two of grey. She wasnt waiting for anyone , nor was she looking for another. She was just there. She caught his eye and he hers. It was nothing like the start of a quick eval so often occuring between soldiers in a downtime bar on a 72 hour pass. This was different thought Ellis. Before he knew it he was walking towards her table. She looked up and it was her eyes. They weren't filled with desire, humor or even innocence. They were old. They stared right thru you like a graser on an assault shuttle. Evaluating you and dissecting you in an instant and filing you into some sort of slot.

"Mind if I join you" he said surprising even himself. " Sure", she replied with a wry smile. "I'm David" "I'm sure you are", she responded quickly. " Ah, a quick rapier like wit I see". "Scare you?", she replied. " No not particularly, just not used to encountering one. I may have to dust off words with more than two sylabbles though!". That illicited a chuckle and an extended hand. "I'm Kate" she said shaking.

"What do you do Dave?" " Well right now I am ensuring the smooth flow of personal hygiene items and consumable supplies to the Santos region". Her eyes showed dissapointment at that he could tell. "Probably thinks I am some sort of rear echelon waste product about to bore her with the endless whining often prevalant among the ops types". As she looked back at him he could tell that was exactly what she was thinking. " And what do you do Kate?" " Trauma nurse with the 4055 EVAC". " What are you doing here?" Dave asked in genuine surprise, "I heard the double nickle was out around Barnards Star? Weren't you guys attached to Division 6 with General Ozawa?"

"You seem to be well informed for a staff puke!" she replied with a questioning grin,curiosity evident in her voice.

"I'll tell you what", said David,"I'll order a round and you can tell me how an evac trauma nurse came to be sitting in this trendy establishment".

"Only if I get to hear your story", said Kate. " Sounds like a deal" he answered. Taking a deep breath she said "OK"

"As you seem to be aware we were attached to Division Six for the assault on Barnards Star. Our unit is broken down into small trauma teams allowing us to go right in with the initial assault to triage/treat and evac seriously wounded to the Divisions Medical Support Ship MERCY. I was assigned along with three corpsman a surgeon and an anesthatist to the 3rd Assault Battalion. These were great guys" she said staring at Ellis. "Gave us all sorts of hell on ship in transit. You know, showing up for sick call with made up ailments just trying to get you to exam them, joking all the time about baby sitting the medical idiots... ", a shadow of pain crossed her face at the recollection but she continued on. "Anyways Assault day arrives and they were all proffessional, ready to get it done. Really looking out for us. I must of had 20 troopers swing by before load out to "check" my gear and give me advice. Good kids... Well suborbital bombardment kicked off and we loaded out. We were second wave on Red Two down by the the ports. We had a bit of Air defense on the way down which made the ride rather interesting. When we hit dirtside and the ramp dropped it was pretty bad. Intel had screwed up and really underestimated the Alliance presence. Instead of hitting standard homeworld militia we dropped on a significant large number of frontline troops including several veteran reaction forces. To say that things were not going well was an understatement".

"Before we knew it the perimeter was getting pretty small and the wounded was piling up. MEDEVACS couldnt get in due to the incomming fire and things started to get pretty tight.. It got to the point where we had to decide who was treated and who wasnt because we were running low on supplies. Around the time the seal foam ran out we had a direct hit on the Surg tent. Lost two Corpsman, Doc and Lenny the gas passer. It started getting worse though. Rain opened up and just made a mess of everything,really degraded the sensors for the grunts. Then it got down to hand to hand on the perimeter in some spots".

By this time Kate was speaking in a sort of monotone just kind of staring at the table,not really seeing it. Dave knew what was next...

"Finally the perimeter was breached, no officers or senior NCO's were left. Caz, one of the grunts, got thru to support and called in a strike on our position which killed all but 8. Four hundred and sixteen landed on that mudball and eight lifted off. We couldn't even recover our dead. I shouldn't have survived, I dont know how I did. I had to walk across the LZ and I couldn't recognize a single one of the bodies that I had lived with for two and a half months enroute. I Couldn't see any of the smiles, the bad jokes, or dreams that I had listened to. It was worse when we hit the transport. There was 8 of us for the berthing area. It was so empty".

"It really sucked. People on the transport didnt know how to treat us".

A that moment she looked up in to Ellis's eyes and all he saw was pain and the tears.

"I know what you mean", he replied quietly." I just returned from a POW camp". "I am all that is left of the 1059th MEDEVAC".

"Oh God" she said with a look of horror and sympathy, "You are him arent you?".

"Yeah I am the lucky bastard "he replied with bitterness.

"What happened?",she asked in a soft voice.

David looked at her for a moment,took a deep breath and began to talk.........