Chapter One: Fall from Grace

The sun was just leaving the sky when a black government vehicle made its way down what locals called rich man’s row and pulled slowly into the roundabout driveway of the Tam Manor. Before stepping out of the vehicle, the young man in the passenger’s seat turned to face his twin counterpart. They had both been given this mission and shared the objective, which meant the success or failure of it would begin or end both of their careers. “Are you ready?” He asked Akil and the other young man turned his empty green gaze on him. Their eyes locked and a look of significance passed between them; a mere glance that would be lost on all others. “When have I ever let you down Bastiaan?” was the terse, almost monotone reply. “Let’s get this done,” Akil said as he opened his door, suddenly anxious to be outside and away from his twin. “Yes,” Bastiaan replied, “Let’s. The Tams have been most troublesome to the Alliance. It is about time that this ridiculous chase came to an end.” Approaching the house, Akil and Bastiaan walked up the large marble stairway that led to the front door. To anyone unfamiliar with their idiosyncrasies, it would seem that they were walking to a cadence that only they could hear, neither of them getting out of step once. Bastiaan rang the doorbell once and waited patiently, hands at his side. Akil on the other hand was nervous and Bastiaan could sense it. This would be his first true mission for the Alliance. Until now, Bastiaan had been the only active one, but the instructor had seemed convinced that Akil was ready. Bastiaan however, had his doubts. Anyone could see that the boy was emotional, lacked skill in both combat and conversation, and Bastiaan had no doubt in his mind that Akil was a danger to the operation and the Alliance in general. Akil may have been his brother at one point in time, but Bastiaan was far beyond the call of blood and had been for years. At this juncture, he was not exactly giddy at the prospect that his entire career was now hinged on the success or failure of his brother’s test run. Bastiaan’s attention returned to the door as he heard someone approach. The door was opened and a young woman of indeterminate age stood before them, a questioning look on her face. Her dark hair was piled atop her head in a lavish twist held in place with a large, jewel-encrusted pin. Bastiaan noted that she was dressed in expensive, foreign silks and velvets and more than one piece of gold jewelry could be seen hanging from her body. “Mrs. Tam?” Bastiaan asked, stepping forward. “We need to speak with your husband.” “I am sorry to disappoint you, gentlemen,” she said with an incline of her head and a kind, sedate smile, “but, Mr. Tam is in a meeting and he has expressed his wishes of not being disturbed most ardently.” Bastiaan and Akil immediately drew out their ident cards and held them out so she could see their names, rank, and affiliation. “We really need to see your husband, Mrs. Tam,” Bastiaan stated yet again. “It is quite urgent,” Akil added after a moment of silence and when Mrs. Tam’s eyes met Bastiaan’s, he nodded his agreement. She immediately stepped aside and motioned for them to enter. “I will tell him he has visitors,” she said and turned to walk away, but Bastiaan grabbed her arm and gently pulled her back. “We will announce ourselves if that would be all right…” It was more a demand than a request and Mrs. Tam could see that as clearly as she could see them, so all she could do was nod and follow, her hands wringing nervously. Gabriel Tam was deep in concentration as he lectured and didn’t notice as the two sharply dressed young men barged into his private study without knocking and without invitation. But as whispering broke out around the table, Gabriel’s attention shifted and he was startled to see them. His wife had entered as well and the expression on her face said how confused she was. “Excuse me,” he snapped as he closed the folder that lay open upon the table. Many of the other men soon followed suit. “Who are you?” He asked, pointing to them. Positioned at the head of the table, Gabriel Tam looked like a tiny man, but Bastiaan and Akil knew from experience that even small men carried dangers. Gabriel Tam was known to carry an auto pistol on him at all times. This considered, the two young men walked further into the room, their faces expressionless. Both were tall, about six foot, had short brown hair, and the same cold, empty green gaze. It was obvious, even to strangers, that they were related, if not twins, and as they made their way deeper into the room, their similarities were amplified by the strangeness of their behavior. Eyes open and aware, it looked as if they were scanning the room, allowing every image, sound and smell to filter through their minds and settle somewhere in the back for later recollection. Until they had collated sufficient data on all those present and were confident none of them posed a direct threat, they were disinclined to reply. “I am Bastiaan,” the one to the left finally said. “And I am Akil.” The other one added and it seemed almost eerie how his lilting voice seemed to compliment the other’s. “Who do you think you are, barging into my private study? I am in the middle of a meeting and you were not invited. You may make an appointment with my secretary if you really wish to see me, but I demand you leave this instant.” Gabriel snarled and Bastiaan’s brow furrowed in what could have been mistaken for confusion, but Bastiaan was far from confused, he was infuriated. “Since when do high-ranking government officials need to schedule an appointment to meet with you?” Bastiaan muttered, his tone low and dangerous. Gabriel’s mouth snapped shut and he met the eyes of several men around the table. “Gabriel Tam, I am here to notify you that hereupon I will be draining all of your business, federal, and personal alliance accounts.” Bastiaan’s voice lowered and there were more mutterings around the room as Gabriel’s face paled then went a light shade of green. “Maybe this discussion would be better dealt with in private?” Gabriel asked, his voice shaking with unease. “They are your guests, not mine.” Bastiaan stated, gesturing towards all the men seated around the table. “If you wish them to leave, I will assist in their exit, but do not mistake my motive. My job is not to make you comfortable, Mr. Tam. Quite the opposite.” “If you will excuse me,” Gabriel said, looking around the room, making minimal eye contact. For a moment there was chaos as those that were seated around the table stood and shuffled out the door. Then, all too soon, there was silence in its place. Bastiaan motioned to Akil who closed the door behind the last to leave and took on a guarding pose. “Do come in Mrs. Tam…” Bastiaan said and Akil motioned her to walk further into the room. “This, after all, is a family matter.” Bastiaan stated with a smile to Mrs. Tam and Gabriel sighed. Regan did as Bastiaan said and entered the room further. “I’m sorry… But… what is this about?” she asked, looking at Bastiaan worriedly. Bastiaan didn’t answer her question, but continued as if there had been no interruption at all. “As your wife already knows Mr. Tam, we are covert alliance operatives.” Regan continued to look from Bastiaan to Akil, then to Gabriel. “Your son Simon is in a great deal of trouble, Mr. And Mrs. Tam, and he has put you in quite a way.” Bastiaan looked down at his uniform and began picking invisible lint from his pristine uniform. “Do you realize that harboring, aiding, or abetting fugitives could cost you everything?” He asked suddenly, his eyes boring through them as he abruptly stopped all movement. Gabriel walked to his wife, wrapping a protective arm around her and Bastiaan wondered at the motive for this gesture. However, its significance was lost on him as so many other things were. “We aren’t harboring any fugitives. Nor are we aiding any and to suggest it is… ludicrous.” Gabriel replied curtly, suddenly straightening. Bastiaan could see that his tone was more confident than he really was. Though this poor pawn didn’t know it, both Bastiaan and Akil were… gifted at reading people and Gabriel Tam was not good at concealing the man beneath the flesh. Then again, Bastiaan mused, most people weren’t. “Ludicrous…” Bastiaan mocked, an unreadable expression on his face a fire in his eyes. “Of course.” He spat, halting his predatory, almost feral pacing. “But what you say doesn’t change the facts and it certainly doesn’t rule out any possibilities… do you have any idea what your son has done?” he asked, studying their reactions. Regan shook off her husband’s arm, stepping forward. The look on her face clearly said she didn’t know, but on the contrary, it did say that she was more than curious. “Your son, Simon has kidnapped your daughter from the academy,” Bastiaan said slowly, “and has left in his wake a large number of dead civilians and alliance agents.” “That’s absurd,” Gabriel snapped without hesitation. “No,” Bastiaan snapped right back. “It’s not.” Walking to Gabriel Tam’s projection system, Bastiaan turned on the screen, placed a disk in the slot and calmly waited. Bastiaan could clearly see that their confidence disturbed Gabriel. It wasn’t so much that they were large men, or even that they looked intimidating. In fact, Bastiaan and Akil’s presence was less than imposing, as neither of them had shown the Tams any ill will. More importantly, Bastiaan could sense that Gabriel was scared to know the truth, which made their plan ideal. Fear was easy to prey on. Within seconds, a security feed that showed their son attacking and killing security guards began to play. Of course this footage was fake, but it looked real and would serve its purpose well. Next came the real footage. The feed showing Simon kidnapping their daughter from the facility was now being projected onto the screen and as soon as the screen went black, Bastiaan removed the disk from the slot and placed it back inside his pocket. “What is truly absurd, Mr. Tam, is that we have yet to find him,” The operative now said and he noticed that Gabriel and Regan Tam were now seated, the expressions on their faces very similar. Both were confused and shocked, which was exactly what they wanted. The element of surprise was their greatest tool in situations like this. “Now, do you have any information as to his whereabouts… as you can understand, we are very interested in finding your son.” Bastiaan then stepped away from the projection system altogether and moved to stand next to Akil who then spoke. “If nothing else, we ask you to report any strange conversations or behaviors he may have displayed before he left… anything you know.” Akil said and Bastiaan inwardly cringed. His voice patterns combined with the small subconscious gestures of his face and body, Akil had sent the message that he sympathized with the Tams… Bastiaan would have to report this. Akil would have to be discarded soon, he realized. But for now, Bastiaan had to turn his attention back to the Tams. For the time being, Akil was alive and he was doing his job, his lack of objectivity could be questioned later. “Well?” Akil prompted and there was no response. “All right, let’s start at the beginning… when was the last time you saw your son Mrs. Tam?” he asked and Bastiaan smiled. Going for the woman… that was a smart move. It had been obvious from the beginning that she was the weaker creature. “A little over nine months ago,” came her quiet reply. “Mr. Tam?” Akil moved on. He could sense as well as Bastiaan that Gabriel knew more than he wanted to let on. “Eight and a half months, nearly to the day.” Regan’s gaze shot to Gabriel and Bastiaan noted the lines of surprise and rage on her face. “Under what circumstances was this meeting?” Akil asked, not allowing time for them to ponder their marital secrets. Good, at least he still had focus, Bastiaan conceded. Maybe he was salvageable. Not that it mattered, there would always be others… it just so happened that this one was his twin. “I received a wave from the police station at dinner about eight months back. The officer said that Simon had been caught in a… in a blackout zone and that he had been taken into custody.” Gabriel replied, his voice full of shame. “I went to the police station and… bailed him out.” “And no doubt paid a large sum of money to have this little… blemish removed from his spotless record?” Akil asked, but it wasn’t a question. “What happened when you bailed him out? Did he explain why a respectable surgeon and citizen of the Union of Allied Planets might have risked his reputation by being in such a place?” “He said he had found people who could help him…” “Help him what?” “Help him save River.” Gabriel finished, looking anywhere but at them. Bastiaan had seen such a revelation coming, could smell the embarrassment and shame. This man believed his son was unstable. “And did he ever allude as to why River would need saving?” Bastiaan interrupted. His tone was sharp. Him and Akil had been here long enough and he wanted them to know that he wasn’t fooling around any longer. “The last month before he left… he acted very strange.” Regan stated and both operatives’ eyes now fell upon Regan. “How so?” Akil questioned. “You see… Simon and River were always very close…” Regan said. “Growing up in such exclusive society, they had little contact with other children their age…Then Simon went off to the medacad and when he came back, River was at the academy… It was really hard on him. He missed her very much but… he accepted it for River’s sake.” Regan paused to take a breath and looked around. “After a few months, River’s letters came less frequently and were… admittedly out of character…” Regan’s voice lowered. “He was depressed… sometimes even delusional then suddenly, being a surgeon meant very little to him,” she explained. “He spent hours reading her letters and when he talked to us, he talked about her. Eventually he became convinced that something was wrong, that this or that was strange...” Her eyes lowered to her hands, which were nervously fidgeting and Gabriel reached over, taking her hands in his. Yet another gesture Bastiaan failed to understand. “A week before he left, he began muttering about a code… He told us that she had written to us in code to save her... That the government was doing something to her and the others and didn’t want us to know.” “Others?” Akil asked. “Her peers… He said that she was trying to tell us that they were all being hurt.” Regan replied. “Well… I myself am a peer of River Tam and as you see, I am perfectly all right.” Akil said slowly and Regan nodded, tears in her eyes. “I will be frank… your son Simon’s mental state has deteriorated to a point at which he can no longer be considered anything less than an imminent danger to the Alliance and all of its officials… His whereabouts would be very helpful.” “As we’ve both said, we don’t know where he is.” Gabriel was quick to state and Bastiaan noted not a hint of hesitation. He found this strange considering the fact this man had access to some of the most confidential files the Alliance had. He hadn’t even paused to connect any possible tidbits of recent information that could be pertinent. Bastiaan quickly reached the conclusion that Gabriel didn’t want to know… or didn’t care to. Looking at his twin, Bastiaan saw that Akil had reached the same conclusion. “If we were to find Simon, you could both be spared some… humiliations.” Akil said. This was a last-ditch attempt and they both knew it would lead to no revelations… at least not this day. “I keep telling you!” Gabriel suddenly yelled, standing. His face was red with anger. It was obvious he was tired of being baited. “We don’t know where he is. He walked out of our lives almost a year ago and we’ve tried to move on and now… you’re telling us our daughter was kidnapped from one of the most secure government facilities in the core? You should be looking inward at your people.” Her said, jabbing his finger at them. “That is not your concern, but… it is being taken care of,” Akil assured. “But in the mean time, Gabriel and Regan Tam, you are being stripped of all your current titles and rank of any kind. Every business, federal, or personal account of yours that is seen to or managed by the Union of Allied Planets will be seized and donated to the aid of finding your son.” Akil said, suddenly taking on a very curt, business-like manner. “You are hereby banished from all core planets for any duration the alliance sees fit. You will be provided clothing and food for your journey.” “Journey?” Regan asked. “Journey to where?” “That, Mrs. Tam, has yet to be decided, but when the time comes, you will know.” Akil snapped. “Your house and everything in it will be liquidated and deposited in your accounts and, as you probably guessed, will be donated to the cost of finding Simon Tam.” Akil took a breath and sighed. “Had you been more compliant, your punishment would not have been nearly as severe nor as blunt, but our number one priority at the moment is, and will remain Simon Tam. At least until we are sent proof of his demise or find him ourselves… one or the other is inevitable, don’t get me wrong,” Akil paused, a shadow of a smile passing over his face. “One would no doubt be better or… more pleasing to you.” “You will contact no one before or after you leave the planet or you will be dealt with as we, not the alliance, sees fit…” Bastiaan said, suddenly projecting his voice yet again. “We have done you a great kindness, Mr. And Mrs. Tam,” Bastiaan stated and Gabriel guffawed, which drew Bastiaan’s eyes. “We were told to deal with you on a conditional basis, which means we were given the green light for anything.” He informed him and the color once again drained from their faces. “But we want you alive, because that’s when people are most useful to the alliance.” “Tah mah duh hwoon dahn…” Gabriel uttered under his breath and Akil stepped forward, a smirk on his face. “Language good sir… you’re not yet on a border planet.” Akil turned and waited just in front of the door for his brother. “Two guards have been posted outside of every room in your home and you both have been assigned personal watchers. If I hear of one little altercation, I will put a bullet straight through both your heads.” And with that, the two young men walked out of the study, leaving Mr. And Mrs. Tam to ponder the horrific experience they just suffered through and their most uncertain future.

Chapter Two: In The Air and Back on Track

“Let’s set a course for New Hall,” Malcolm Reynolds said quietly to his young companion. River gave a short nod and her fingers danced over the keypad in front of her as she entered the coordinates of White Hall into the computer. “New Hall,” she repeated aloud. “New border settlement.” “That’s the place,” Mal replied, standing. “I’ve got me a friend there who’s willing to take some of those meds from Ariel off my hands no questions asked.” Mal stretched for a moment and his hands settled behind his head as he looked outside at the starry sky. “Nice, easy job…” “Safe too,” River added, curling her legs underneath her. “Safe as anywhere, I guess,” he agreed, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. “The Alliance don’t bother with border planets yet and I’m betting that’s not about to change. Not any time soon anyway…” River spun the chair around to face him and they shared a moment of understanding. “I don’t like the quiet either,” she said slowly. “You hungry?” He asked and she nodded, gracefully standing. “Then why don’t we go down to the mess hall and get ourselves a decent meal?” “All right,” River accepted his offer and followed him down from the engine room, through the crew quarter’s hallway, into the mess hall where four of the others were seated. “Who cooked?” Mal asked, his eyes falling on Zoë’s empty chair. “Kaylee,” Jayne answered. It looked as if he was having a heck of a time trying to juggle stuffing his face, talking, and cleaning his guns. “Is that so…” Mal replied, taking his seat at the head of the table. River, however, had a harder time finding her place. Simon and Kaylee were sitting next to each other and Inara was sitting opposite to Mal. The only vacant chair was next to Jayne… River slowly made her way to the chair and sat down. Jayne eyed her suspiciously for a second before he returned his attention to his plate. “So… Where we headed Cap’n?” Kaylee’s voice cut through the silence like a welcome alarm and everyone seemed to come alive. “We’re going to New Hall,” Mal replied, piling some protein surprise onto his own plate. “I know a guy there who needs some of the meds we got off Ariel and he’s willing to pay a reasonable amount for it.” “Didn’t we already sell the booty from Ariel?” Kaylee asked. “Most of it,” Mal said after taking a bite, “but we still got meds that need sellin’.” “Sounds mighty boring,” Jayne said, not looking away from his gun, which was beginning to shine by now and everyone looked at him. “What? Like you all don’t think it sounds boring…” “After all that’s happened, boring sounds pretty good to me,” Simon input. Reaching to the napkin on his lap, he lifted it to his face and wiped the crumbs from around his mouth. “Me too,” Kaylee agreed, leaning her head against his shoulder. Inara, who was being unusually quiet, caught Mal’s attention. She hadn’t taken a bite of her food and her eyes hadn’t left her plate in over a minute. “Don’t think there’s any decent work to be had for you out there, Inara,” Mal said and Inara looked up, met his eyes for a second, and then looked away. “So I was thinking you might want us to drop you off somewhere else for a few days and pick you up when we come round again.” “I’m not a companion any more,” she said quietly and Mal couldn’t hide the surprised look on his face. “I sent the guild a wave before we left…” “Why would you do that?” Mal questioned, asking the same question that everyone had on his or her lips. “I got a fresh taste of what life as a true companion was when I left Serenity,” Inara said, finally meeting Mal’s eyes. “Sihnon was just as beautiful as I remembered, but… It was lonely… and empty,” she added, looking around at her companions. “I’ve since realized that I’ve got a family here and life is too short to sacrifice that. Even for all the gold, money, and glamour that comes with being a companion.” “Here, here,” Simon said seriously, holdings up his glass. “To family,” Kaylee added, clinking her glass with Simon’s. “To crew,” Mal said as he joined them. “To guns,” said Jayne, but he didn’t join the cheers. His glass was already empty. “To friends,” River murmured and they all took a long, hearty drink from their glasses. “Didn’t miss much, I hope?” asked a new voice. Mal set down his glass and turning, his eyes fell upon Zoë. “Hey Zo’,” Kaylee exclaimed with a wide, blue-eyed smile. “Come have a seat.” She tapped Simon on the shoulder, giving him a meaningful look, and he jumped up, motioning for her to sit in his stead. “Thanks,” she said with a small laugh. “But I can get a different chair,” Zoë insisted, walking to the corner where two unused, foldout chairs were stacked. Simon sat back down and they all waited silently for her to join them. Once she pulled up to the table, Inara started making a plate for her, but Zoë shook her head, stopping Inara from putting any on it. “Ain’t really been hungry,” Zoë said, placing a nauseas hand over her abdomen. Inara nodded, a sympathetic look on her friendly face. “Of course…” she said, placing the plate back on the stack at the center of the table. “How are you holdin’ out, Zoë?” Mal asked, but Zoë didn’t have to answer. Her disheveled hair, tired eyes, and drooping shoulders said it all. “Better’n I thought I would,” Zoë admitted. “I’m just tired is all,” she said. Suddenly she closed her eyes and winced in pain, grabbing her stomach. “Captain?” she asked. “Is the ship spinnin’?” “Not at the moment…” Mal replied. “Are you all right?” Inara asked, draping a soothing arm around her. “Maybe you should let me have a look at you,” Simon said, standing, but Zoë shook her head, finally opening her eyes. “Just a dizzy spell… It’s over now,” she insisted. “I’m all right. I just need to go lie down.” “I’ll help you to your bunk,” Inara offered and Zoë was about to refuse when she was wracked with another wave of dizziness. “All right then,” Zoë agreed. After Inara and Zoë left, the table was once again plunged into comfortable silence as they finished eating and drinking. “She don’t look very good,” Kaylee suddenly said, looking down at her plate sadly. Simon saw her distress and placed a comforting arm around her. Letting out a loud sigh, Mal stood, stretching with a yawn. “Well,” he began, “course is set and we’re all overdue for a good night’s sleep.” Pushing his chair in, Mal turned and walked away from the table. “I’ll spend a few more minutes in the cockpit, then I’ll head to bed myself.” “Hell, I’m ready for bed right now,” Jayne said with a loud moan. Gathering up his guns, he neglected to push in his chair and walked through the crew hallway. “Me too,” River said with a yawn. “’Night, mei mei,” Simon said as she stood and made her way down to the guest quarters. “See you, River,” Kaylee called after her. Turning to Simon she smiled widely. “What?” Simon asked, unable to stop himself from smiling back. “You tired too, Doctor?” she asked, wrapping her arms slowly around his neck. “No,” he replied, leaning forward. “Not terribly tired…”

Mal had been sitting in the dark cockpit for nearly an hour before he drifted into a deep but restless sleep. Within minutes of closing his eyes, he was on the battlefield again-- smack in the middle of Serenity Valley. He could tell it was early in the day because the morning sun’s soft light beamed down on him, accompanied by the familiar blaring sounds of sirens and other similar noises that invoked fear in any sane soldier. Standing, he picked up his government issued Independent Faction Rifle and went in search of Zoë. It wasn’t fully light outside but they were all used to it being dark. It was February on Hera, late winter, and the sun’s cycle was growing more and more slow and strange. It was nothing at all like it had been on Shadow… He had always known what to expect at home. Suddenly, a loud, heart-stopping whizzing sound filled the air and Mal froze. “Duck!” He shouted at the top of his lungs. “Take cover!” He yelled even as he made his way further through the ruined holding place, neglecting his own advice. The sound of a sonic mortar filled their ears and for a split second, the independents didn’t breath… Then it hit and there was immediate chaos as broken cement and what remaining glass there had been nearby took flight, covering, hitting, and maiming any soldier left in its path. Mal, who had dove behind a large wall of a dilapidated building, immediately sprang to action looking for wounded men who needed help. But his body refused to move and he watched helplessly as it turned dark then light then dark again and dead body after dead body after dead body was stacked in front of his eyes. Suddenly there were thousands of the corpses and the whole field was filled with mountains of dead bodies… mountains of friends and enemies alike, stacked together, creating a grotesque picture of everything Mal had not thought the war would be. And all the while, it was turning light then dark then light... Falling to his knees, Mal called out, his blue eyes wide with fear, uncomprehending of the fact that his unconscious mind was at work in creating the frightening image before him. That it was replaying in fast motion and distorting the events he had faced only six years before. And then the sky and the land went silent and the sun stayed put… not a sound could be heard. Serenity Valley was dead… The silence was deafening… Mal stood slowly, the sound of his rustling uniform amplified in the maddening silence. Walking forth, he looked into the eyes of fallen comrades, some were men he had grown up with and others were boys who were barely old enough to fly a motor vehicle. But there were also old men with beards of gray and eyes almost white with their years. Mal felt a groan build within him, which turned into a sob, which turned into a yell of utter agony and anger. He heard the whizzing sound of an Alliance Assault Rifle being charged and he turned, his hands high in the air, an expression of rage and loss evident in every line on his face. But despite his raised arms, the Alliance soldier before him didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger and Mal watched in slow motion as a bullet was discharged from the man’s gun and entered the soft flesh of his abdomen. Looking down, Mal pulled his hand away from the wound and saw his body’s blood gush out in a smooth torrent of red. Distantly he heard the sound of resumed gunfire. Falling to his knees yet again, he looked back up to the man, but the Alliance soldier had already turned to walk away… he was going off to kill more independents, Mal thought inwardly and he drew his weapon… maybe it wasn’t his weapon. Loading it with a single bullet from his ammo belt while holding one hand over his wound, Mal aimed, steadied his shaking arm, and pulled the trigger. He missed… Mal fell backwards over himself into an oddly stretched position and lay there waiting for death. “Gorram it…” He muttered angrily. “Gorram ruttin’ ‘liance…” He whispered. And suddenly Inara was kneeling next to him, her almond eyes pointed down at him, tears falling down her smooth, tanned cheek and there was yelling, yelling all around them. What was she doing on the battlefield, he asked himself, but before he could ask her, Kaylee appeared, then Simon, then Jayne and River followed by Wash and Zoë… but last of all to appear was Shepherd Book who was holding his bible tightly to his chest, the chiding look of a disappointed father Mal had never known on his kind but weathered face… Before he could say a word or ask a question he had the oddest sensation of flying over the edge of a cliff in his stomach and Inara began sobbing, reaching for his face with her soft, delicately angled hands. He thought she was going to touch him That she was going to beg him to hold on and to wait for help to get there, but with a pang of helpless fear, he felt and saw her gently close his eyelids, uttering a heart-felt prayer of peace and serenity over him and then he disappeared…

“Mal?” entered a soft voice into his dream. “Mal, wake up… It’s Inara.” Mal was jolted awake drenched in sweat, his muscles tight with the type of tension only a soldier in the heat of battle knows. Then, slowly his eyes adjusted to the dark and he realized he wasn’t at war any more, but neither was he in his bunk. “Shah muh!” Looking up, his eyes met Inara’s and he sighed. Now he remembered falling asleep in the cockpit. “Are you all right?” she asked, leaning against the control module. “I heard you shouting… I thought you were hurt,” she said, true concern on her face. She was already dressed in her nightclothes and her hair was loose, the brown tendrils cascading over her delicate, smooth shoulders and Mal realized he must have woken her. “I’m fine,” Mal lied, wiping the sweat from his brow. “Just dreaming is all.” “Nightmares?” she pressed and for a second he thought about denying it, but instead, he nodded. “What about?” “I don’t remember most of it,” he said, looking away. “All I know is that I die. Every single time, I die.” “You look tired,” she said softly, gently tracing her fingertips along the circles under his eyes. “So do you,” he replied, standing, and Inara followed suit. “Why are you up anyway?” he asked, his tone a little more harsh than he meant it to be. However, if Inara noticed, she didn’t show it. “I couldn’t sleep,” she admitted, pulling her silken robe tighter around her. “I was worried about Zoë.” “She ain’t doin’ so well,” Mal said, relieved someone else wanted to talk about it. “You know, I’ve never seen her take anything near so badly.” “Mal,” Inara chided, “she’s lost her husband…” “You don’t think I know that?” Mal snapped back. “I lost me a damn good pilot too you know...” He said, his voice trailing into nothingness. “A friend…” “We all lost a friend, Mal,” Inara murmured, touching his shoulder, but he pulled away and walked to the wall. “Gorram it, Mal… Talk to me!” Inara barked. “I don’t feel much like talkin’ right this moment, Inara,” Mal returned. “And the fact is, we never get around to talking about what’s really on our minds anyway,” he decided to add. “And what exactly is on my mind, Mal?” she asked and he paused, looking at her and the vivid image of her crying over his dead body came unbidden to his mind. “Bed,” Mal replied. “Shuh muh?” “We should head to bed… It’s late,” he replied all too quickly and Inara sighed loudly, growling something inaudible as she stormed past him and into the darkness of the rest of the ship. “Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng,” he cursed under his breath as he opened the door to his quarters. He climbed down the ladder into the darkness and practically dropped on his bed. He was so tired that not five minutes later, he was in the deep dreamless sleep that only the truly exhausted ever know.