BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

SOLILOQUYGIRL

The Old Blue and Gray
Monday, July 31, 2006

Sergeant Malcolm Reynolds knows that it doesn't matter if he lives or dies in the end. He's fighting for freedom, not for himself. :: Pre-series.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1033    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

The water was all dirty or froze, but he had gotten used to the dehydration and the headaches it would give him right above his eyes and at the back of his skull. If he didn’t drink enough of Saul’s old red wine when it was offered, the headaches would get worse, but normally there was enough to drink that Mal just felt warm.  

Mal had gotten used to a lot of things.

He had gotten used to bartering with cigarettes. 

He had gotten used to missing meals. 

He had gotten used to being covered in mud. 

He had even gotten used to being coved in blood. 

But he could never get used to the sleeping. Back home, he would sprawl out on his belly completely spread eagle with half of his body hanging off; his fingertips would graze the worn floor as he slept. 

Now, no matter what campaign it was, Mal could only sleep on his back and facing the door. The cots were small, smelled like crotch, and were as stiff as rails. Tonight, though, he couldn’t just collapse and wake up four hours later. No matter how hard he tried, Mal was left staring at the top of the tent and listening to the heavy, wet flakes of snow fall. 

He held his cross in one hand and used the other to prop up his head. His thumb worked gentle lines along the smooth metal as he thought of Lora with her cropped red hair and her sunburned cheeks. He had never sent a wave to her - not even in the beginning. Now, there was no time to send word to loved ones. Not that it mattered. What was he going to say? 

I wish you were here, bao bei. 

Of course not. He didn’t want Lora here, but that was why he was here in these trenches. He was here to make sure that Shadow and every other planet that wanted didn’t have to be under the heel of the Alliance kicking and fighting for scraps. Shadow was more than scraps. The people of Shadow were strong, resilient, faithful, loving, passionate, and sincere. They were everything that Mal was trying to save. He hadn’t uprooted his life for nothing. Maybe his people weren’t the best, but they had the right to rut things up all on their own. 

It had been four years since the beginning of the war, and they were heading out to Du-Khang come daylight. Things were changing; Mal knew it, but he wasn’t sure how. He couldn’t see past the end of his rifle most nights, but he could feel it in his bones – he could feel it in his soul. 

Despite the electric charge that was jumping through everything, Mal did his best not to worry. He normally didn’t but sometimes it would creep in. He would worry about dying and leaving his men, not seeing the end of the fight, not standing at the top of the mountain screaming and shouting when the Alliance finally laid down arms for good.

Some of the boys said that God was on their side and they couldn’t lose. God was behind them, and they wouldn’t lose – if they fought hard enough, if they believed, if they refused to lay down arms, if they were willing to lay down their lives. They would win, one way or another, but Mal knew he very well might not see the end. It didn’t matter though. What he did here, what he did in Du-Khang tomorrow, what he did in St. Albans years ago, all that mattered was that when the time came, the Independents would have won. 

Growing old and gray wasn’t important as long as others did. As long as Lora could continue working that land and being so strong and so damn beautiful. 

Mal chuckled deep in his chest. Tracy would have referred to that little train of thought as a “damn riveting speech, Sarge.” Then the boy would have shrugged and flashed a lopsided smirk saying, “If your God does do that, He best give you a damn nice view down your girl’s shirt from up there on high.”

COMMENTS

Monday, July 31, 2006 5:50 PM

AGENTRUSCO


Hahahahah, I love that last bit about Tracy, I find him to be an endearing character, even if a terrible friend. I really like this bit, you should certainly write more pre-series things.

Monday, July 31, 2006 11:35 PM

AMDOBELL


I loved this to biets. I can't imagine them having separate tents in the filth and chaos of war so is this little piece before he met Zoe in your story? And yep, that end bit sounded just like Tracey. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Wednesday, August 2, 2006 7:36 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Brilliant stuff, soliloqygirl...especially the thoughts on Tracey by Mal. Crap friend...but only trying to get by like the rest of them:)

BEB


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