“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” - Measure for Measure

~*~

The pistol trained on his heart didn’t overly trouble him. A job really wasn’t complete without it, after all. It was the laser gun trained on Kaylee that was raising his anxiety to a dangerous level. Mal couldn’t take his eyes off the red dot that danced over her heart, spoiling the effect of the pale pink kimono dress she was wearing. The Grinter bandit who kept them frozen in place, a gun in each hand, was the squirrely type. Thin, pale, never stopped moving. His eyes darted back and forth between Kaylee and Mal, and more than once his finger twitched a little too strongly on the trigger to the laser gun. Man to man, Mal could take him easily. But with Kaylee standing too far away to shield if things got messy, it was a chance he couldn’t stand to take.

After a long silence, Mal tore his eyes away from the laser and offered their captor a little smirk. “Shall we see who’s the better bad guy, then?”

The bandit cocked his gun.

~*~

“Kaylee, I got a surprise for you. You get in here right now,” Mal called out as he walked up the ramp onto Serenity.

Wash and Zoë drove in behind him, carrying the various bags and packages that constituted the ship’s payment for a recently completed transport job. Jayne boarded last, peeling an orange and scattering the peel behind him.

When Kaylee entered the cargo bay by way of the engine room, her eyes immediately fell on Jayne. “Oh, please tell me you brought me more of that, Cap’n.” Her eyes widened with anticipation.

“What? Oh.” Mal gave a glance behind him at Jayne. “We got us plenty of real foodstuff. Ambassador Yen was extra grateful that we got the shipment to her early. That ain’t what I was talking about, though. Here.”

Kaylee glanced down at the box he’d thrust into her hands. Puzzled, she followed the rest of the crew into the galley and set the package on the table. Grabbing a knife from the kitchen, she slit the box open and pushed the flaps aside. The rest of the crew busied themselves putting goods away and planning the contents of that night’s meal. But Kaylee just stared down at the open box, mouth slightly open.

Mal paused, canned goods in each hand. “What, don’t you like it none?”

Silently, Kaylee pulled a full-length kimono from the box. It was pale pink with bold rose and gold flowers twining their way up from the bottom. Tiny decorative pearls were sewn to the middle of each flower, and the modest open collar revealed a rich gold lining. As Kaylee stared, Simon and Inara entered the galley, intent on greeting the returning crew.

“Kaylee, qin ài de, that’s gorgeous,” Inara complimented. “Where ever did you get it?”

“Cap’n gave it to me,” she replied matter-of-factly, still staring at the gown.

Inara stopped walking and cast a glance at Mal. “Really? Well…that was nice of him. You all seem like you could use another hand.” Turning her attention to the other members of the crew, she swept past Kaylee and went to the kitchen to help Wash and Zoë.

“It’s on loan.” Mal gestured at the kimono with a can of protein. “We ain’t leaving Greenleaf quite as soon as we thought. Got another job. That dress is part of it. Gonna need your help on this one, little Kaylee.”

Her expression fell a little bit as she took in the captain’s words. After a moment, she turned and offered him a smile. “It’s lìngrén jingyì, Cap’n. I get to wear this around somewhere, I’ll help with whatever you want.”

“Glad to hear it. Everyone, we meet back here in an hour to discuss the work needs doin’. Let’s get this stuff put away. Wash, come with me and let’s prep this boat for extended docking.”

The crew dispersed to take care of their respective duties. Kaylee replaced the gown in the box and left it open on the table. She cast a slightly wistful glance backward at it before returning to the engine room.

~*~

An hour later, everyone but River sat around the galley table, waiting for details on their latest job. Mal stood at the head of the table, hands gripping the back of his chair.

“Ambassador Yen is throwing a fancy shindig on her estate two days from now. Seems her husband’s company just developed a fancy new engine to run in Phoenix boats-” Wash whistled. “Wo detain, a. Those are the shiniest ships running in the whole ‘verse. What I wouldn’t give to get my hands on the controls of one of those babies.” Seeing the look Mal was directing his way, he amended, “Uh, not that there’s anything wrong with these controls. I mean, we’ve got dinosaurs and a stick and some tape where a docking lever should be, but…I’m done talking now.”

Mal continued to glare at his pilot. “As I was saying, their fancy party is to celebrate the contract they got with the Alliance to build ‘em. They’re going to show off a prototype and the design blueprints for a bunch of fancy-pants ship builders and buyers. Problem is, the ambassador’s people picked up word off-world that there’s a plan in place to crash the party and steal the plans and the prototype. That’s where we come in.”

“Why can’t she just use her own security detail to take care of the problem?” Simon asked.

“Says it’s bad for business to have a bunch of conspicuous armored security folks roaming around the party. She wants to hire us to blend in a bit and try to spot the criminal element before they cause a ruckus. Gonna pay us handsomely well, too. We can get used to that fresh food for awhile.”

“Still don’t understand what we need her for.” Jayne gestured to Kaylee, who, though she was slightly offended, looked like she was wondering the same thing.

“The men reported to be doing the stealing belong to the Grinter bandits. Group of loosely affiliated wángbādàn that hire themselves out for operations requiring large numbers. They’re not to be trifled with from a confrontational perspective. But they’re also just about the stupidest sishengzi you’ll ever come across. Most people there are gonna know everything about ships backward and forward. Bandits ain’t gonna have a clue. There’s no one better capable of figuring out who knows what they’re talking about when it comes to engines and such than Kaylee.” Mal shot her a quick grin.

Kaylee smiled back as he continued, “Zoë, Jayne, Kaylee ‘n me are gonna go as guests of Ambassador Yen. That’s what that frock I brought you is for. Zoë’s got her own wardrobe. We’re gonna go in and schmooze with the fancy folk, round up the Grinters, take a bow in our shiny getups and leave without anyone being the wiser. Wash, you’ll be plugged into the estate surveillance feed to maybe catch something we don’t see. Everyone else, you’re left to your own devices. I trust you can find ways to occupy your time. Dong ma?” Mal gave them all a once over to make sure his crew understood. They all nodded.

“All right. Let’s get to it, then.” Effectively dismissed, everyone pushed away from the table and started preparing the evening meal. Kaylee pulled the kimono from the box and took off for her bunk, holding it close.

~*~

The next day, Mal pulled his only suit out of the back of his closet and did his best to shake out the wrinkles. He frowned a bit as he put it on; something about wearing a suit always made him feel stiff and slightly inadequate. The only full-length mirror on the whole boat hung on the wall in Inara’s shuttle. Since she was in town with Kaylee, shopping for shoes to go with the dress Mal brought on board, he figured what she didn’t know wouldn’t bother anyone.

Standing in front of the mirror, he couldn’t get his tie to sit right. After a fourth attempt to make it look presentable, he cursed and threw it over his shoulder in disgust. “Don’t know why I’m even bothering. No need to be impressive-like to get a job done well,” Mal said to no one.

It took a moment to notice that two small hands were winding his tie back around his neck. River appeared in the mirror, hands following the fabric around to Mal’s front. Ignoring his startled expression, she started to re-do his tie.

“This outfit doesn’t make you more impressive. It is transparent. Can’t hide what’s in plain view. I can see right through you.” Her expert fingers made short work of his tie. Standing back to look him over, she gave him a slightly vacant once over.

“Thanks,” Mal said, a bit put off by her words.

“You look better in your tight pants,” River replied as she left the room.

~*~

The afternoon of the gala, Jayne, Zoë, Mal and Wash gathered in the cargo bay. Jayne couldn’t stop tugging on his collar. It was a fairly comical sight watching him struggle to loosen a shirt that was already open to the second button. He didn’t have proper shoes and he flat out refused to wear a tie. Still, with a fresh shave and a waistcoat over a white collared shirt and gray pants, Jayne looked presentable enough. They’d just have to pretend he was from one of the less civilized moons.

Zoë wore the slinky dress Wash picked out for their last anniversary: a full-length midnight blue number with a slit well past one knee that provided easy access to the weapon strapped to the inside of her thigh. Mal stood in his suit and tie that he’d done himself – the notion of River doing it again unnerved him more than a little – and glanced at the time on the pocket watch he’d borrowed from Simon.

“Where is that girl? We’re tryin’ to be not conspicuous, and arriving late won’t-” He trailed off when he spied Kaylee entering the room. She flushed as everyone’s eyes turned to her. The kimono was a marked change from the frilly, poofy number she wore to the party on Persephone. There wasn’t a part of her that it didn’t hug perfectly. The dress was modest, but that made her even more enticing. Simon and Mal both swallowed thickly. Jayne leered.

“Well…” Wash started, filling in the silence. “I know I’ve said this before Kaylee, but were I unwed…” He bowed and kissed her hand with a flourish. Kaylee smiled as Zoë playfully whacked her husband.

Mal started and moved toward the ramp. This job hadn’t even started and already he wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Jayne, Zoë and Kaylee took this as their cue to follow. As the captain passed River standing by the doorway, she pulled him aside.

“Doubt will kill you.” River paused. “Just so you know.”

He looked at her oddly a moment, thought better of whatever he was going to say, and left the ship.

~*~ (END OF PART ONE)

Chinese translations courtesy of living-impaired’s journal.

qin ài de = dear/darling lìngrén jingyì = stunning/amazing wo detain, a = dear God in heaven wángbādàn = dirty bastards sons of bitches sishengzi = bastards dong ma? – understand?