BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - DRAMA

MORDSITH

Still Wanting
Saturday, July 22, 2006

Sequel to Sweet Surrender, Given Up, Crash & Too Hard. Angst. Jaylee.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2311    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Title: Still Wanting Characters: Kaylee, Jayne Pairing: Jaylee Rating: pg Words: 1131 Disclaimer: I do not own Warning: Dark, um...yeah I'm a drama whore

Author's Note: Not betaed, Sequel to Sweet Surrender, Given Up, Crash and Too Hard ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jayne brushed Kaylee’s hair out of her face and let out a long breath. At least she was asleep now. Girl had cried hard enough to put a normal person in a coma. She’d just barley settled down though; her breathing slowing as her body finally was too exhausted to cry anymore.

“How is she?” a voice asked. Jayne looked up, surprised to see Inara standing in the doorway to the lounge. He glanced down at the form that was sprawled out on the couch, head in his lap.

“She’s asleep finally,” Jayne said, not looking up as her stared at her peaceful face. He hadn’t seen her features relaxed like this in a long while.

“You should get some rest too, Jayne,” Inara suggested, stepping further into the room.

The mercenary shook his head quickly. “Don’t want her wakin’ up t’find she’s all alone.”

“I’ll watch her,” Inara offered. Jayne opened his mouth to protest but the companion reached for a throw pillow and handed it to him. “At least get something to eat. I’ll be here and if she wakes up, I’ll find you.” There was a long pause before Jayne reached up and took the offered pillow. He carefully maneuvered Kaylee’s head onto the pillow and slid out from under her. The mechanic moaned a moment, but was instantly back asleep.

“Thank, ‘Nara,” Jayne said, sparing one last glance at Kaylee before heading for the galley.

~*~*~*~

Mal silently watched the hulking man in the kitchen who wasn’t moving. Jayne’s gaze seemed to have drifted off, his eyes staring out of the counter. Mal wasn’t sure how long the man had been standing there, staring at nothing, but his guess was too long.

“Jayne?”

The mercenary jumped, his eyes going to the doorway where Mal stood. He blinked for a moment then looked down at the counter. “Was just fixin’ myself somethin’ t’eat,” Jayne said.

“Can see that,” Mal nodded. There was an awkward pause and Mal decided to press the issue. “How’s she doin’?”

“Don’t know,” Jayne admitted. “Half the time don’t think she wants me anywhere near her, the other half I KNOW she don’t want me near her. Not even sure how long she cried today. Who knows what will happen when she wakes up.” Jayne let out a breath as his hands dropped to the side. “Don’t know what else t’do for her.”

“You’ve done all you can,” Mal said.

“Well it ain’t enough,” Jayne snapped his voice dangerously low as he shoved the plate in front of him off the counter with unrestrained force. The plate clattered to the ground and Mal was grateful they didn’t have breakable dishes.

“Jayne…”

“I wasn’t there Mal. I was asleep while she was all alone and scared. I remember her getting’ up and I thought she just had t’pee. Girl had t’pee a lot. Didn’t think nothin’ of it, just fell right back asleep,” Jayne growled.

“This ain’t your fault,” Mal tried to assure.

“Hell it ain’t. Can you imagine what woulda happened if Simon hadn’t shown up?” Jayne asked. “Kaylee’d be dead now and all ‘cause I wasn’t there for her. I can’t sleep now, I’m afraid t’leave her alone, ‘fraid of what might happen t’her. Can’t fail her again, Mal.” Jayne ran his hands through his hair, letting out a breath, trying to control his breathing.

“Jayne, think you need to get some rest, let someone else take care of your wife for awhile,” Mal suggested.

“She needs me,” Jayne shook his head.

“Jayne you need to get some rest, you’ve gone through hell and back again, it’s okay to have someone help you,” Mal coaxed, stepping closer to Jayne like he was a wild horse that might bolt at any moment.

“I wanted that baby,” Jayne said, his jaw clenched tight.

“I know,” Mal nodded, placing his hand on the larger man’s shoulder.

“I don’t know what t’do with this. Ain’t no one I can kill t’make things right. Don’t know how else t’deal. And Kaylee…don’t even know if she wants me no more. Don’t think I could handle it if she didn’t.” Jayne sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly.

“Just give her some time, Jayne. She’ll come around. Look, we got a meet in a few hours, I want you to get some rest. If Kaylee wakes up, I’ll get you, but I really think you ought t’lay down,” the captain said.

“Mal…”

“Jayne…Kaylee needs you, but you’re wearing yourself thin. Go lay down, and that’s an order,” Mal said. There was a pause before Jayne finally nodded.

“She wakes, you come get me,” Jayne said firmly. Mal nodded and watched the mercenary as he silently left the galley.

~*~*~*~*~*

Kaylee slowly sat up, rubbing the back of her neck as she did. Her eyes sought out Jayne, but didn’t find him. Her stomach tightened and she looked around worriedly. She didn’t want him to be gone, she needed him there.

“It’s alright, mei mei,” Inara sooth, moving to her side as Kaylee sat up on the couch.

“Where’s Jayne?” Kaylee asked, her arms dropping to her sides like dead weight.

“Mal ordered him to bed. He’s been going non-stop trying to take care of you,” Inara whispered, smoothing Kaylee’s hair out of her face. “How are you feeling?”

“Exhausted,” Kaylee sighed, her eyes closing for a moment before they reopened.

“Anything I can get you?” Inara asked. Kaylee shook her head and stood.

“I just…I want Jayne,” Kaylee said.

“He’s in his bunk,” Inara stood, taking Kaylee’s arm and slowly leading her towards the crew quarters. Kaylee didn’t resist as the companion led her to where Jayne was. When they reached Kaylee and Jayne’s bunk, Inara opened the hatch door and placed a kiss in Kaylee’s hair before letting the younger woman climb down the ladder.

Kaylee reached the bottom and knew Jayne wasn’t asleep, at least he wasn’t anymore. His whole body was tense as he wasn’t snoring, it was a dead give away he was awake, even if his eyes were closed. Slowly Kaylee moved towards the bed. Jayne’s hand reached out and pulled back the covers, his eyes not opening. She hesitated for a moment, staring down at Jayne.

“I love you, Jayne,” she whispered.

“I love you too, Kaylee,” he replied. Kaylee felt her eyes water and carefully crawled into bed with him. She snuggled up as close as she could get, burying her head into his neck and breathing in his scent. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her tightly against his chest. “Get some sleep, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up,” he whispered, kissing her forehead and rocking her slightly. Kaylee let herself relax into his arms as she slowly drifted off to sleep.



COMMENTS

Saturday, July 22, 2006 11:56 AM

ARTEMISPRIME


Beautiful, sweet and tragic story. I like that Jayne isn't giving up and neither is Kaylee. Maybe now she can begin to start healing with Jayne right there. Waiting for more.

Saturday, July 22, 2006 8:09 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


This is beautiful, Mordsith...especially the conversation between Jayne and Mal over Jayne blaming himself for the miscarriage and feeling helpless to heal Kaylee of her pains. Could totally see Adam and Nathan doing this scene in subdued lighting and the cameras just picking up the sheer emotion these two would be giving off:)

BEB

Sunday, July 23, 2006 8:03 AM

HISGOODGIRL


I haven't commented befor (bad me!) but have been following this whole series and how your work continues to mature.

The loss of a child is one of the hardest things any couple can face, and many of 'em don't make it simply because they can't reach out and comfort each other.

You've handled this poignant, heartwrenching tale with great sensitivity


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