“Down on the ground! Everybody! Now!” Four men burst into the bar guns drawn and yelling. There were screams from all around as everyone hit the floor.

“This here is a robbery. So stay shiny and don’t anybody make any sudden moves.” The leader of the group towered head and shoulders above the rest of the men, the deep timbre of his voice rumbling through the near silence of the room.

“This is not happening.” Mal grumped from his place lying on his stomach under the table. “Hayden’s gonna be here any minute.”

“Then maybe we should just clean this up before he gets here.” Jayne already had his gun in hand, concealed under his body. The men started to spread out stopping here and there to collect a wallet or piece of jewelry from the prostrate patrons.

“Well, what do we have here?”

Mal’s head snapped up at the small cry of pain as a dark haired woman was yanked to her feet. “Inara.” he whispered.

“Ain’t you just the prettiest little thing.” The man leered at her and a look of pure disgust crossed her face.

“Let go of me.” She glared defiantly at the man holding her and probably would have made him let go if the leader hadn’t chosen then to step forward.

“Now, now. Let’s not make this any more difficult than it needs be.” He removed his hat with a flourish and bowed to Inara. “My men call me sir, but you, miss, can call me Duncan. And what may I call you?”

It had been a very long time since Mal had prayed for anything at all but at that moment he sent up a quick one that Inara wouldn’t say, or do, anything stupid.

“You may call me Inara, Mr. Duncan. Now please, have your man unhand me.”

“You heard the lady, Terrance, leggo of her.”

Terrance released her reluctantly and she stepped away from him toward Wash. “I would take it as a kindness, Mr. Duncan, if you and your men would go on your way and leave my husband and I and the rest of these poor people in peace.” Mal flinched but Zoe just chuckled.

“Would ya now, Miss Inara?” Duncan grinned broadly and took one step toward her. “How much of a kindness?” Mal stood surreptitiously while everyone was distracted.

Inara took another step toward Wash. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh, I think you do.” He took hold of her elbow roughly and started steering her toward the stairs that led to private rooms.

“Sir, I really must protest your treatment of my wife.” Mal stepped toward them his hands raised and empty. Inara jerked her elbow out of Duncan’s grip and Mal stepped close to her.

“Your wife?” Duncan looked puzzled and glanced at Wash still lying on the floor.

Mal looked quickly from Duncan to Wash then back. “An old family friend. Eunuch, and mute, so I trust him.” He smiled and leaned in even closer to Inara surprising them both nearly speechless by giving her a quick kiss. All in the name of authenticity of course. “You okay, honey?”

“Y-yes, dear, I’m fine.” She blinked up at him and had to resist the urge to touch her lips where he’d kissed her. Mal put his arm around her waist, snugging her up against his left side, then tucked her arm around his waist and under his coat. Inara found her hand on his gun.

“Good, everbody’s fine. If you’ll excuse us gentlemen, we have a honeymoon to finish.” He winked broadly at the men and started to walk Inara to the stairs.

“Mal, what the guay is going on here?”

Hayden and his men had just entered the bar.

~