Name Calling
Monday, June 5, 2006

A response to my own challenge—am I supposed to do that?  Mal/Inara. Post-BDM. PG-13


Name Calling By Kaynara  *** A response to my own challenge—am I supposed to do that?  Mal/Inara. Post-BDM. PG-13 ***  Occasionally, after a job reasonably-well done, it was shiny just sitting outside on some good old-fashioned artificial earth and enjoying the calm. Of course calm, in Mal’s experience, never did tend to stick. “Did you just say somethin’, Nara?”  “Hmm?”  “I—nothin’.  I must be goin’ crazy.”  She smirked but remained silent.  “Nice out here.  Don’t ya think?”  “Mmm, yes.”  “Don’t get me wrong—I’m still happiest in the Black.  Just that sometimes a man likes to breathe deep.”  “It’s very lovely,” Inara agreed.  He shot her an accusing glare.  “You did say it.”  She made her eyes round with innocence.  “You’re very paranoid, Mal.  Do you suppose it stems from associating with common criminals all these years?”  “Inara…I don’t have nicknames.”  “Mal is a nickname.”  “Well…yeah.”  He shrugged.  “But that’s it.  Now you can call me Mal or Malcom or Captain.  Or, if you’re so inclined, sir.”  The last had him smirking.  “Mmm, I bet you’d like that.”  “You implyin’ somethin’ there?  Like maybe I get off on that sorta thing?”  “Do you?  Anyway, nickname implies a habitual repetition.  I’ve only called you that name once now.”  “HA!  So you did call know.”  Inara just rolled her eyes.  “You have to admit there’s a certain...It’s not like I’m the first to voice the comparison.”  “First I’ve heard of it!”  “Well, you aren’t the most observant of men, Mal.”  “I observe plenty.  Like just now I’m observing that you’re a mite chilly—”  His gaze raked her chest before settling on a spot in the distance.  “Mal!”  “—and I’m also observing that the gentlemanly course would be to loan you my coat.”  Grinning, he slid his arms from the sleeves, shifted to drape the leather over her shoulders.  “Better?”  In fact, she was still shivering, though it wasn’t from the chill.  “Yes.”  She graced him with a smile.  “Thank you, Mal.”  “You’re mighty welcome.”  He leaned backward, extending his arms to hold his weight. “Awful pretty sight.”  “The moons of Athens seem especially full tonight.”  “That they do.  Wasn’t referrin’ to the view, though.”  She blinked a couple times and, when it became apparent he wasn’t going to say more, snuggled deeper into his coat.  She was dangerously close to giddy. Any second now she’d start smiling like a loon.    “Charm, Mal?  Be careful with that.  A girl might think you mean it.”  “And if I do?  Mean it….”    She raised a brow.  “Are you asking my advice?”  “Guess I’m…”  He inched closer.  “Guess I’m asking your permission.”  “I—”  With his thumb, he traced the lines of her lips.  “You gonna say somethin’?”  “Something,” she murmured.  “I got another observation.  Wanna hear it?”  He smirked, not waiting for a response.  “I think you’re sweet on me.”  “Shuh muh?”  “Woman don’t think up nicknames for a man lest she’s got some pretty strong feelings where he’s concerned.”  “Yes, Mal.  I spent all day composing the perfect nickname.”  She rolled her eyes.  Then, deciding that offense was the better course here: “Does looking at the stars always arouse you?”  “I’m not—!”  He glanced at his lap, then glanced up. He smiled sheepishly.  “Huh.”    She smiled back, and for a moment they watched the sky in companionable silence.  “Aren’t you cold?” she asked abruptly.  “Without your coat….”  “Nah, I’m shiny.”  She raised a brow.    He coughed.  “You know, now that you mention it, guess I am a mite chilled.”  “We could…share?”    Carelessly, she raised a single shoulder, and the worn leather of the coat rose up to buss her face.  He made a decision then and there never to wash that coat again.  “Good idea,” he said mildly and lied back in the grass.  He braced himself on his elbow and patted the space beside him.  And waited.  After a moment, she stretched out beside him, offered the jacket so he could drape it over their prone forms.    “Can lay your head on my chest if, you know, if you want….”  She’d had more polished offers.  She couldn’t recall an offer more appealing.  She rested her head up by his shoulder, felt his arm curve around her.  “Comfy?”  “Yes.”  It was a lie though.  Among the myriad of sensations raging her body just then, she would not have listed ‘comfy’ in the top ten.  Dizzy. Tense. Physically stimulated. Not comfy.    She felt his hand settle in the small of her back.  “Inara.”  She lifted her head.  “Yes, Mal?”  He kissed her then.  He fumbled a little due to the angle, had to try it twice before getting their noses aligned properly.  But then it was warm and gentle.  When his tongue darted out to stroke hers, she felt a tightening in her belly.     They were both breathing heavily when he pulled away.  “That…whoa.”  She smiled, still playing her fingers through his hair.  “You, uh…you like that any?” he asked, trying for casual. “I might be persuaded to do it again sometime…Han.”  “Oh, wo de ma.”  “I’m sorry.”  Her lips twitched.  “Should I call you Captain Solo?”  “Think that’s enough of the name callin’,” he growled.    And just so she wouldn’t be inclined to insurrection, he took the opportunity to kiss her breathless.  *** END.  Feedback encouraged.


Monday, June 5, 2006 2:37 PM


Oh, that was nice! I love the name calling stories that have been posted the last few days!

> “Yes, Mal. I spent all day composing the perfect nickname.”

God, I love snarky Inara!

> “Aren’t you cold?” she asked abruptly. “Without your coat….”

hah! It isn't Simon who is always clueless! it took him a moment to catch her meaning!

Love it! Well done!

Monday, June 5, 2006 2:40 PM



Perfect on all levels. Loved it all. (Although Captain Solo still tops out.)

Monday, June 5, 2006 3:32 PM


Bwahaahaha! yay for answering your own challenge!!!

Hilarious! Heeeee!

Monday, June 5, 2006 3:38 PM


That was really sweet and funny ,you write Mal and Inara perfectly!

Monday, June 5, 2006 4:31 PM


Han! HAHA! I love Mal/Inara and this was hilarious! I could definitely picture this conversation in my head! I too have loved the nickname fics and this was just perfect! Great Job!

Monday, June 5, 2006 5:23 PM


Eee. I think a "SQUEE" is in order here. That was lovely. The cute! And the snuggling! And Mal being charming!!! I have to go melt into a little fangirl-y puddle at your feet now. *melts*

Monday, June 5, 2006 5:48 PM


Gotta love it when there's a reference to Star Wars floating about....and Inara comparing Mal to Han? Brilliant, Kaynara!

All of the nickname stories have been great, but I honestly think this one takes the cake:D


P.S. I think anyone who makes a theme suggestion should be the first to take a shot at it....only fair;)

Monday, June 5, 2006 10:47 PM



The comparisons are inevitable so the name fits.



Tuesday, June 6, 2006 2:28 AM



I love it...made me smile all lots.

“I think you’re sweet on me.”

lol, I havent heard that expression in sometime.

Great job answering your own challenge!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:42 AM


Really funny.

I love your stories. I'm going to post reviews, but I just can't stop myself from reading them all as quickly as possible.

Your character voices are INCREDIBLE. And the lines are hilariously snarky.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007 1:42 PM


Oh, I should have responded to this ages ago ... It's always so wonderful when we can use a Star Wars reference in our little 'verse.

Plus, I just love the way you've written them as oddly uncertain of how to behave when it's so obvious what they really want! Perfect!

Friday, July 27, 2007 11:41 PM


*snickers* Han! Oh, this is a good one! Thanks, Kaynara!


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