BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE

Reflections
Saturday, May 20, 2006

Little bit about Zoe after Miranda. My first ever fanfic, so sorry if its a bit rubbish. I came up with the idea when, oddly enough, watching Braveheart.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1601    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

She was on the bridge when Mal found her. She sat ramrod straight in the pilot's seat, not slumping, as Wash would have done. It was the stance of a soldier. She stared out into the black, unmoving, showing no sign of noticing him. Mal backed out silently, not wanting to disturb her mourning. ************************

Zoe blinked. She watched Mal's reflection as he came bounding up the steps in his ususal way, watched as he arkwardly shuffled backwards. She made him edgy, now. She didn't acknowledge him on purpose, hoping he would leave by himself. Thankfully it worked, she really needed to be alone right now. A month had passed since they left Miranda, but the pain of losing Wash was still razor sharp. She liked to come up here, when they were flying, just sit in his chair, remembering times they had shared, remembering his smile, the way he worried about her when she was out on a job, how his unruly red-blonde hair always looked like he had just gotten out of bed. Remembering him. She looked down at the plastic dinosaur that she held cradled like a baby in her hands. It was his favourite. No, had been his favourite. They were all still there, arranged on the console, all his dinosaurs. She would never let anyone move them, just like she would never move his gaudy, eyesmarting Hawaiian shirts from the waderobe in their room. A memory jerked in to life in her mind. She often played out times with him in her head, not that she would tell any of the others, they just wouldn't understand. It was the night Mal and Kaylee went to that big shindig on Persephone. She and Wash had stayed ship-side, and, amongst other things, they had joked about Jayne coming into their room and killing her in a bid to take over Serenity. What was it he had said? "I'll read a nice poem at the funeral. Something with imagery." She hadn't said anything at his funeral, never mind read a poem. She had known that if she even opened her mouth then they would come; the multitude of painful tears that had been building up inside her since that cursed spike had come crashing through the windscreen. They were still in there waiting for the chance to burst out, to come coursing down her face like a waterfall. But she wouldn't, couldn't let them. Once she began to cry, she knew that she would never, ever be able to stop. She stared blankly out at the featureless black sky again. Sometimes a tear or two would leak out, like the one now, that she watched roll sluggishly down her cheek, but if anything, they just made it worse. Something caught her eye in the refelection on the newly repaired windscreen. What was that? Wash! There he was, clear as day sauntering towards her like nothing had ever happened, hands jammed in his flight suit pockets, his face split by a mischevious grin. For the first time since Miranda , Zoe smiled too. Joy builing up inside her, she whirled round from the chair, ready to cry out in pure happiness. It died on her lips. There was no-one there. Save for her and the dinosaurs, the bridge was empty. Pain slammed into her chest. She had just imagined it. Broken, she turned back to the console. She caught sight of herself in the windscreen. She had to pull herself together. Her time of grief was over, for now at least. She had to be strong. For the crew, for Serenity, for herself. But most importantly, she had to be strong for Wash.

COMMENTS

Saturday, May 20, 2006 9:37 AM

DRAKB


Shiny. Well-written and very much like Zoo. I can totally see the scene playing out in my head. Good fic for a first. I'm not that brave yet. Maybe I should watch Braveheart...

Saturday, May 20, 2006 10:04 AM

AMDOBELL


Wow, this is a good snapshot of grief and very believable. I lost my husband young and there are times when I'm not really concentrating on anything and I will see him standing there or feel a hand on my shoulder a kiss on my cheek so I am right there with you on this one. I also liked it that Mal realised right off that she wanted to be alone and gave her that space. It's what friends do. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Saturday, May 20, 2006 2:46 PM

AGENTRUSCO


This is very great. Very powerful. I have one or two similar if you're interested...

Sunday, May 21, 2006 8:03 AM

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE


First off, Britbrowncoat and Amdobell, I am really, really sorry for your losses.
Im so glad you all like it. Thanks so much, you have given me the confidence to write more fanfics.
The ending was a bit rushed because my mum was yelling at me to get off the computer, I think the exact words she used were: "You get off the computer right now, or you're not going on that site for a month!!" so I thought I better had.
Thanks again.

Sunday, May 21, 2006 7:49 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Wow...this is some mighty powerful stuff you're chanelling here, smart...blonde....sure you're not channeling Joss or any of the other writers from Firefly?

:)

BEB


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