Legacy: Fightin’ Words

Spoilers- see previous chapters Disclaimer- hey, guess what? They still don’t belong to me and I’m still not making any money from this. Summary- Hobie wants to learn how to fight. Maybe he shoulda just asked his Ma. xxx

Feeling eyes burn into his back for the umpteenth time that night Jayne growled and threw down his fork. “What?”

Hobie ducked his head down. “Nuthin’.”

“You been followin’ me round all gorram day and staring holes in my back.”

Hobie fidgeted awkwardly. “Um, I was just wonderin’….”

Jayne huffed. “What, boy?”

“Iffin you and Mal would teach me how ta fight?”

xxxxx

Hobie groaned as he hit the well-padded ground. He hauled himself to his feet. “Ow.”

Mal smirked at him. "Come on, boy. You said you wanted to learn how to fight."

"How to fight, not how to git hit."

"Two sides of the same coin, Junior. Gotta learn how to block and how to take a punch fore you learn to hit. Punching won't do ya no good if ya can't take a love tap like that."

“Weren’t no love tap,” Hobie grumbled.

Jayne chuckled meanly. “Gotta put some force behind it, boy. Gotta be even enough to hurt a man, make him think twice.”

Hobie shifted uncomfortably. He wanted to know how to fight, yeah. But hurt someone?

"I just wanna learn to defend myself is all. I don't wanna hurt no one."

"It's all about the hurtin', kid. That's where the fun is."

“Look,” Mal said, “when we done trained you up you can choose if you wanna hurt someone or not. Till then, hit Jayne.”

“How?”

Mal sighed. “However you want.”

“Kaylee told me to just close my eyes and swing.”

“That’s one way. Don’t know if it’ll work or not.”

Jayne smirked.

Hobie closed his eyes. He swung his fist out in a wide arc. Amazingly, his fist slammed into Jayne’s head. Jayne’s eyes opened wide with shock before they glazed over. Jayne fell to the ground.

Hobie stared down at Jayne in shock. “I got 'im! I got 'im!”

Mal grinned. “Sure did. I was you, I'd start runnin' now.”

xxxxx

Jayne held a hand to his head. “Gorram kid hit me. He don't play fair.”

Mal snorted. “He had his eyes closed.”

Jayne spat, wincing as two small white objects flew out of his mouth. “So? Still knocked out two o' my teeth.”

Mal badly restrained his laughter. “Imagine what would have happened if he was watching the target.”

Simon peered over the railing into the padded cargo bay. “Everything okay here?”

“Jayne done lost two of his teeth.”

“Gorram kid knocked ‘em out,” Jayne complained.

“Just put the weave on, Doc. He’ll be fine.”

“My teeth,” Jayne whined.

Simon rolled his eyes. “Easily fixed.”

“Gorram better be.”

xxxxx

"See, you'll encounter all types when you get into a fight. Get into a bar room brawl and you'll more than likely face an oaf like Jayne here." Mal smirked at Jayne as they cautiously rounded each other.

Jayne had refused to fight with Hobie till he was trained, so Mal and Jayne had decided to demonstrate the correct way to fight.

"Who you callin' an oaf, Mal?"

Hobie smirked. "He's callin' you an oaf, Jayne."

"That right?"

"So to speak."

Jayne tightened his fists. "Let's see you beat an oaf then, shall we?"

"You mean beat as in up? Cause I can do that." Mal lunged to the side, smirking when Jayne countered. “So, Jayne, had any teeth knocked out lately?”

“Shut up, Mal,” Jayne growled.

“So, I gather no kids hit ya with their eyes closed then. Ain't it funny how the kid hits better eyes shut than you do eyes open?”

Jayne growled again. “It was a ruttin’-“

“Lucky punch. I know. You want a straw for your food?”

xxxxx

The fights had continued. Everyday they spent at least half an hour showing Hobie how to fight, letting him practice against a punching bag. Then Jayne and Mal would spend an hour sparring.

Thus went Hobie’s afternoons. And this one was progressing as per normal. But it all became a mite concernin’ when Jayne wrapped his hands around Mal's throat and squeezed. Luckily, Inara saw it all.

Inara run over the fire extinguisher and filled a bucket with water. She balanced the bucket on the top of the railing and threw the bucket o' water over 'em. Didn't stop 'em none but it slowed Jayne down enough for Mal to knee him in the nethers.

Jayne released a strangled scream. “You don't go for the nethers! No fair man goes for the nethers!”

“You ain't supposed t'go for the throat neither!” Mal screamed back.

“So I learned what not to do?” Hobie muttered to himself.

“You ain't seen nothin' yet.”

Mal grabbed Jayne, throwing him to the floor. Inara threw up her arms into the air and turned to go fetch Zoë. She stopped as Kaylee near ran into her.

Kaylee slowed to a stop as she walked out onto one of the ramps that ran over the cargo bay. "Hey, Mal and Jayne are wrestlin'. And they're wet. If we can get 'em to take their shirts off I know a place that'd be real interested in pictures."

Inara laughed. “You’re welcome to try, mei mei. I, personally, am not going anywhere near them.”

Simon walked onto the catwalk above the cargo bay, turning on his heel and headin' back to the infirmary the minute he saw Mal and Jayne fighting.

"I'll go get the weaves."

xxxxx

Zoë sauntered up to Mal, her hands held formally behind her back. She eyed the blood staining his ripped shirt. “Did you win, Sir?”

Mal cautiously touched his face and winced. “Didn't lose.”

Zoë raised an eyebrow and glanced over at the brightly lit infirmary. “So you don't need the infirmary then?”

“Waitin' for the Doc to finish up with Jayne,” Mal admitted.

“This ain’t gonna happen every time you try and to teach Hoban how to defend himself is it?”

Mal tried to look affronted. “Course not.”

“Uh huh.”

xxxxx

Hobie slouched into the kitchen his shoulders slumped.

Zoë looked up from her card game. “How was self defense, sweetie?”

Hobie shrugged, his lower lip slightly protruding. “It wasn't really self-defense. It was more watchin' Mal and Jayne fight until Jayne threw a haymaker and tripped. He knocked himself out on the railing in the cargo bay.”

Zoë’s lips quirked. “Again?”

Hobie helped himself to a bottle of water. “Yep.”

Zoë chuckled. “Man’s gonna have a permanent dent in his head if he keeps doing that.”

xxxxx

“Gorram railin' hurts more'n you,” Jayne taunted.

“Sure it does. You can't keep you're ruttin' feet long enough for me to hit you proper,” Mal shot back.

The two men rounded each other, their hands held up in guard position. Jayne lunged forward, bruised ego fueling him. Mal jumped to the side, leaving his foot out to trip the larger man. Jayne threw out a hand as he fell and grabbed Mal’s shirt, pulling him down with him.

Hobie sighed as he watched Mal and Jayne rolled around on the floor, kicking and biting each other. This was 'musing at first. Now it was just... well it was still funny as all hell but it weren't teaching him none.

He hopped off a crate. Maybe his mom would teach him

xxxxx

“Perhaps Zoë should just teach Hobie, she is the best hand-to-hand fighter here,” Inara suggested.

“No! I said I'd teach that boy to fight and teach him I will!” Mal exclaimed.

“Don't want to fight Zoë?” Kaylee asked slyly.

“Not on your life!”

“You more scared o' Zoë than Jayne, Cap'n?”

Mal grimaced. “Zoë likes pain, lil' Kaylee. She likes it the way Jayne likes violence. She also likes to win. Ain’t no way I'm gonna put this pretty face to work gettin' beat on by her. She's the best first mate I could ask for, but I ain’t never gonna be drunk enough to be her sparrin' partner.”

Mal opened up the highest cupboard, the one they used to store the alcohol now that Hobie had his growth spurt. “Where's the malt ale?”

Hobie raced into the dinning room. A large grin lit up his face. “Come quick! You all gotta see this? Jayne downed a whole bottle o' malt ale without takin' a breath and now he wants to fight my Ma!”

“She accepted the challenge?” Kaylee asked incredulously.

Hobie shrugged. “Yeah. Said she needed the workout.”

Mal sighed. “Go to the Doc, tell him to fashion up a body bag nice enough to send to Jayne's Momma.”

xxxxx

Jayne clutched a bag of ice to his head and groaned. “Ain’t never drinkin’ again.”

Hobie rested his chin in the palm of his hand. “Does your head hurt?”

Jayne groaned again.

“You should go see Simon.”

“Doc ain’t gonna do anything bout a hangover. Boy thinks it’s funny to see a man sufferin’. Bad trait fer a doctor if you’re askin’ me.”

“Weren’t talkin’ bout the hangover.” Hobie grinned. “I meant bout the gash Ma put in that thick skull o’ yours when she knocked ya out.”

Jayne frowned. “What in the gorram are you babblin’ bout, boy?”

“It’s no one’s fault but your’n, you know,” Hobie continued. “Ma warned you ‘fore, but you wanted to fight her. Disappointed her too, she was hoping for a work out.”

Jayne paled. “I fought Zoë?”

Hobie nodded, smirking at the large man. “And she whooped your butt good.”

“I fought Zoë.” The bag of ice fell from his numb hands. Suddenly Jayne sprung to his feet and started to run his hands over his self. Cautiously he moved a hand down to his nethers.

“You want some time alone?”

Jayne glared at Hobie, but sighed in relief when he realized he was complete. He scooped up the bag of ice.

“I ain’t never ever drinkin’ again!”

xxx

end