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BROWNCOAT ID#:28353 SINCE: 2007.09.28 03:58 LAST HERE: 2007.11.18 07:32 CREDITS: 1
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IT'S SAFE TO REVEAL OURSELVES WHEN NO ONE'S WATCHING.
Sunday, October 07, 2007 6:09:16 AM
Sad thing about life is that it doesn’t really end when the conflict is over. Unlike in fiction-- stories, tales--, the story is finished when the hero gets the girl, when the mystery is deciphered, when the conflict is resolved. No one ever tells you how they cope up after the incident, the tragedy, the problem. No one ever does, and happily ever after is almost always never as it is.
Most probably I’m just reacting to hormones (it is that time of the month….), but I am sorely down. When I am supposed to be sanguine and engaging, I find myself bored and unwanted. I would have posted this on my wordpress if only I didn't consider myself too emotional, too vulnerable. I need a distraction, and love ain’t it. Love, or the illusion of it, is definitely not it.
I have to face the fact that I desperately want to be in love again. To care for another person, to make yourself believe that you are human because you can feel. But in reality, the mere fact that you coerce yourself to feel kinda negates the whole idea of love. Of that that is completely selfless.
I am at the crossroad where I have to decide to pretend and hope in that in the future, I will forget that I am merely pretending; or to recognize it for what it truly is and keep on waiting passively. I can do both, but only one at a time.
The problem with life is that it never goes the way you want it to. Never the way that is predictable. The hero may not get the girl, the mysteries may never get deciphered, and there certainly is no such thing as a happily ever after.
And as usual,
Quote:I don't know what I'm saying. I never know what I'm saying.
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