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BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL
Serenity's crew learns of and has to deal with a rather saddening aspect of Kaylee's recovery, and they wonder if it'll work itself out in time... Simon/Kaylee.
Woo! I'm back, finally! Sorry it took me so long! Hope you like this chapter!
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 1173 RATING: 10 SERIES: FIREFLY
"Who are you?!"
Simon stared at her, shocked. He had known memory loss was a good possibility, but he hadn't been prepared for it. He glanced over his shoulder at Mal and Inara, who were both looking about as shocked as Simon. Kaylee was looking in fright from Simon, to Mal, to Inara and back again, and it was clear in her eyes that she hadn't a clue who they were. Simon crouched down a bit at her side, pulled a stool over to him and sat on it, looking at her in concern.
"Kaylee... baobei, don't you remember any of us? Simon, Inara, Mal..." he asked softly, naming them each in turn, wishing he could taking away the look of utter fear and confusion in her eyes. She shook her head, her eyes still as wide as saucers. Simon swallowed a lump that was forming in his throat. As much as he wanted to sit and discuss this with Mal and Inara, and try and figure out how to fix it, his first priority was Kaylee. He had to get her to calm down, not to be so scared. He had to try and convince her she was surrounded by friends, not strangers.
Suddenly the need for him to do such a thing was taken away when Kaylee let out a moan.
"Simon?" she said breathily, looking up at him, clearly recognizing him. A relieved smile broke out over his face and he heard relieved sighs from Inara and Mal behind him.
"Yeah, baobei... its me, its Simon..." he reached out his hand, cursing its shaking, and gently brushed her hair out of her face, cupping her uninjured cheek in his hand, his thumb stroking her cheekbone. He sensed Mal and Inara moving and saw them appear on Kaylee's other side a moment later, looking down at Kaylee.
"Hey, Meimei." said Mal softly, grasping one of Kaylee's hands lightly. "You just hang in there, okay?" Kaylee managed a small smile and she nodded slightly, squeezing his hand weakly. Simon glanced up as Inara gently placed her hand on Kaylee's forearm.
"Are you alright, Kaylee?" she asked quietly, concernedly. Simon could see the beginnings of tears glistening in Inara's eyes and looked away, back down to Kaylee's face, still so relieved that it had only been temporary. Then he noticed a strange look in Kaylee's eyes; it was one of recognition and comfort as Mal spoke, but when her focus switched to Inara, the confused, frightened look returned. She was staring at Inara, not answering her. The Companion was starting to get confused, clearly wondering why Kaylee was looking at her like that. "Meimei? What's wrong?" she asked urgently, looking down into Kaylee's distraught eyes.
Still, Kaylee seemed unable to respond, and her eyes flickered away from Inara, focusing on the ceiling instead. Frowning, Inara looked up at Simon with a hurt, questioning glance. Simon gave her a pacifying look back; his heart clenched when he thought about it, but he was pretty sure he knew what was happening.
"Kaylee? Baobei?" he asked softly, waiting for her to turn her head to look at him. "Do you remember Inara?" he asked quietly, wishing there had been a way to make it easier on Inara. But this was the only way to find out. He watched Kaylee's eyes as they flickered to Inara, and then flickered back to him, looking upset and ashamed. "Xin gan, its nothing to be ashamed of..." Simon tried to reassure her, trying not to look at Inara's hurt face. After a long moment, Kaylee shook her head. Just the tiniest bit. "You don't?" Simon asked in a near-whisper, afraid to look at Inara. Kaylee shook her head again, looking distraught. Simon stared at her, his heart pounding painfully. Inara was her best friend on the ship, and she didn't remember her? Simon heard a soft, dry sob and looked up to see Inara turn around, her hand over her mouth, clearly trying to pull herself together. Mal immediately turned with her, putting an arm around her shoulders and murmuring to her, as Simon looked back at Kaylee.
"I'm sorry..." she whispered, her eyes cloudy with distress and probably pain. Simon took one of her hands and squeezed.
"No, baobei, don't be sorry... its okay, you just need to rest." he said soothingly, his voice low and calm in an attempt to calm her. She moved her head back and then forth again slowly, her eyes closed. She moaned softly, but opened her eyes back up when he squeezed her hand. "Does your head hurt?" Simon asked gently, brushing hair away from her eyes. She nodded slightly, her eyes drooping, though Simon could see tears welling beneath the lids.
"What happened?" she whispered, just as Mal and Inara returned to her side. Simon glanced up at Inara; the woman looked deeply upset in her eyes, but was obviously being strong for Kaylee.
"Um, you, you fell..." Simon began, wondering what exactly she remembered. He wondered if she even remembered going on the date. "Do you remember falling?" he asked, squeezing her hand. She shook her head.
"Las' thing I remember... I was..." her eyebrows furrowed slightly, obviously struggling to remember. "I was... in the passenger area... and you..." she looked at Simon with a slight frown, trying to remember how Simon had been involved. Suddenly she remembered. "You was askin' me... to go somewhere." she finished tiredly, and Simon nodded, reassuring her that that had actually happened. He could see her eyelids drooping again and he gently stroked her hair. As much as he wanted to question her, find out exactly what she remembered, exactly what she didn't; she needed rest now, first and foremost. It wasn't long until she slipped into sleep; a few minutes of Simon stroking her forehead and her body relaxed, her expression becoming peaceful. Simon sighed, let go of her hand and kissed her forehead before standing up. He'd forgotten that he wasn't wearing a shirt and only now did he remember as he suddenly realized how cold he was. He grabbed a nearby blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders, avoiding Inara's eyes. He knew he shouldn't, but he felt guilty for Kaylee not remembering her. It was his fault that she fell; so really it was his fault that she couldn't remember her best friend, either. After a long moment of silence, broken only by a small whisper from Mal to Inara, Mal finally spoke up.
"Let's go have a chat." Mal commented wearily. Simon glanced up and Mal pointed outside, to the passenger dorms. Simon nodded and led the way, stepping out of the doors and letting Mal and Inara pass before pulling the doors to Infirmary closed, to keep Kaylee warm. He followed Mal the few steps into the common area, making sure he was in full view of a window to the Infirmary so he could see if Kaylee woke up.
"Well, I'm gonna start by askin' the obvious." said Mal after a moment, as neither Inara nor Simon spoke. "Why don't she remember 'Nara?" he asked Simon, looking at him intently. Simon sighed and finally looked up, feeling his heart break slightly at the sight of tears welling in Inara's eyes.
"I... well... its very unusual, but memory loss is a tricky thin--" Simon tried to explain, but was quickly cut off by Mal.
"What I wanna know is, does this... this, remembering some people but not others thing... I wanna know if this is suppose ta happen, and if it can be fixed." Mal summed up, glancing at Inara before looking back at Simon. Simon sighed, looking at Inara apologetically.
"It can happen, yes. As for it being fixed..." he trailed off with another soft sigh. "Memory loss is unpredictable. Some people regain their memory in hours, some days, weeks, even months or years." He paused, not really wanting to add the last thing, but he had to be realistic. "Sometimes its permanent."
Inara gave a soft sob at this, and Simon hurried forwards, putting a hand gently on Inara's shoulder.
"Its nothing personal, Inara, really..." Simon tried desperately to soothe her, feeling terrible that she had to go through this. "In a lot of cases the patient doesn't remember the ones closest to them. But we'll help her get her memory back. We will." he told her firmly, though he wasn't completely sure whether he believed it or not. Inara nodded to pacify him, but as soon as he let go she walked away and sank onto the couch, her face buried in her hands. Mal hurried after her and sat down beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and whispering to her, trying to comfort her. Simon sighed and turned to go back into the infirmary, and nearly jumped out of his skin to find River standing behind him.
"Woah!" he exclaimed, nearly choking as his heart seemed to fly into his throat. "Meimei... you've got to stop doing that..." he breathed, his heart pounding. She seemed to ignore his words and stared past him at Inara and Mal, watching them.
"She doesn't remember..." she said out loud, her eyes intently locked on Inara, apparently talking to no one in particular. Simon looked at her curiously, once again plagued by questions of what they'd done to her in the Academy. He watched as River stared unblinkingly at Inara, and was incredibly surprised a moment later as River's eyes filled with tears.
"Meimei!?" he asked in alarm, putting his hand on her shoulder. "What is it?!" River continued looking at Inara, oblivious to the tear slipping over her cheek.
"She's hurting..." River whispered, and this time Simon was sure she was talking about Inara. "Thinks she did something wrong... That Kaylee doesn't love her." Simon's eyes dropped, his shoulders sagging slightly. Poor Inara... Simon's heart went out to her. Yet at the same time, he was insanely glad that it wasn't him that Kaylee didn't remember. Although, as Simon thought about it... if she didn't remember him, maybe she wouldn't remember all the times he'd hurt her. He sighed and slowly left the common room as River seemed unwilling to budge, and Mal was still trying to comfort Inara. He wandered back to his room and tossed the blanket on his bed, the air attacking his bare skin and giving him goose bumps. He pulled out a black long sleeved shirt, pulled it on, and then wandered back to the infirmary, still in his bare feet. He entered and sat down on the chair beside where Kaylee slept, looking down at her.
Tears prickled at his eyes as he looked at her. At the large bright red gash, sutured down the side of her face, at her frail body, seeming impossibly fragile as she lay inert on the infirmary bed before him. At her pale skin, her sunken eyes. And now all of this memory loss; how crushed Inara was. All of it was his fault. He took one of her hands and gently kissed it, leaning his head against her arm, letting a single tear fall.
"I'm so sorry, baobei..." he whispered to her, clutching her fingers tightly in his own hands. "I'm so sorry..."
Friday, May 5, 2006 11:51 AM
Friday, May 5, 2006 11:52 AM
Saturday, May 6, 2006 8:19 PM
Saturday, June 3, 2006 11:25 AM
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