Going Dark
Sunday, September 6, 2009

I just posted my last fanart image to the BSR. And only now I realize I've never captured Inara. Yes, that's a commentary on me. I've come to appreciate 'Nara, for sure. And I've always had a strong, protective love for River. But over the years I've really developed a warm and deep bond with the Kaylee character (certainly fueled by Jewel's own endearing personality). There's so much child-like innocence and trust in Kaylee; always vulnerable and open; hurt, at times, but never closing off because of it. You know, the whole 'dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt.' thingy. In many ways, I'm so like Kaylee, my own self. Or rather, I so wish I could be like her (which, after a fashion, probably means I'm like her, after all). So I guess it's only fitting that I should end with Kaylee.

I guess I'm a experiencing some hurt myself. :( And no, not because no one appreciates my art, LOL. I ain't delusional. At best, I struck the occasional high note with my work. And I had peace with that. Rather, it pains me, every day anew, to see the Firefly light grow dimmer, every day anew. In earnest, I truly miss the days of lore, when the 'Verse was still brimming with optimism and life. I loved walking amidst the giants, all these talented artists who poured out their love for Firefly out of every pore. We weren't all good, but we were all there. And now, not so much.

And so, today I realized I can't keep flyin' like this. I'm not so afraid of losing something that I won't try having it. But the more I try having it, the more I realize it's gone. No, the 'Verse ain't dead; but it's dying: something a good deal more painful. :(

Yours in the 'Verse,



Friday, October 30, 2009 10:58 AM


Light might grow dimmer, and that's sad for those that were there at the start. I don't know, I hit the verse in 2007-8, long after the show and the movie. So in a way I choose to work on something that is gone and isn't coming back. But I find it a fascinating medium for all kinds of questions.

Ordinarily I wouldn't say this, as it sounds more than a little pompous and crazy, but I'd ask you to stick around a bit for some cheer--I'm posting a long work(more than a year in the works) on River, from ostensibly her perspective, that explores some of those questions. I'd be honored if you'd take a look, with your deep love of the show and that character.
There can still be love in echoes. And every time something is echoed, it is immortalized in some way--it doesn't just become fainter.
So, yes, move on and take that flight, but don't never forget the little light out here. The ember can't be an ember if it goes out, and it doesn't go out unless no one's talking about it.

Monday, October 5, 2009 10:37 AM


I truly understand where you are coming from. I miss the days when we would be discussing theories and trying to decipher what was actually in River's letters. I miss all of the speculation and discovery. Now it seems as if everything has been hashed over and there's nothing new to discuss, when in fact, there are new people that might be able to add a different perspective on old theories. I miss the excitement, the sheer enthusiasm about the show. I miss the days when a posting about the 'verse coming back actually seemed like it might possibly work. Now every post like that is just another rumor, just another disappointment. So many have moved on, myself included. I'm not saying that I'm not still hoping for more, because I am, but I've accepted that it probably won't happen. If Joss pushes that red button, then I will be among the ones rejoicing, but it doesn't seem likely to happen.

Don't lose hope, Asarian. You truly are much like Kaylee with your childlike wonder, your good heart, and the way you shine like a beacon in the darkness.

Monday, September 7, 2009 3:07 AM


RB, I’ve heard every word. I understand and feel the same and dislike myself for it. I’m still holdin ( and hopin) for more.

Joss’ vision of Firefly turned out to be like a group of good friends sitting around a campfire telling stories. The FF space/western was like an ember coming from the flame heading out into the night. The further it went the dimmer it’s become. There is an acing sadness in my soul to ever see that little ember floating away into the darkness go out…..but it ain’t gone yet.

I hope the big man stays focused and those words he spoke of never giving up are still in his heart. I’ve got a whole clan of people I’ve converted to Firefly over the passed few years. They are constantly askin when there’s gonna be more. One day I hope to make them happy!



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