Trees 1, Tree Service Men- nada
Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Also posted on myspace:

OK, So Ivan and Katrina whooped my yard something good. We lost a total of 5 trees to actual falling, and another 3 or 4 to shock.

Anyway, I have 2 trees in the front of my house that have been slowly dieing over the last couple of years. Since the Ahole moved out really. Every once in a while a chunk of bark or a limb or two will fall off.

Even more often a man will appear at my house on a Saturday morning early (a different one each time) and these men will proceed to explain to me - because the size of my breast indicates my IQ or lack of it - that my trees are dead and need to be cut down and they would do it for me cheap. At first I would respond politely and explain that yes I knew they were dead, but due to divorce blah blah blah. Well after a few times I started to get really irritated, I mean really - WHAT? MY TREE IS DEAD? OH MY GOD? ARE YOU SURE? REALLY? IS THAT WHAT THE PILE OF BARK MEANS? IS THAT WHY THE PINE NEEDLES HAVE GONE ALL BROWN? IS THAT WHY THE LIMBS KEEP THROWING THEMSELVES ON THE GROUND? REALLY???? DO YA THINK???????

Recently I have been answering the door with a smile saying to them (before they could speak) Yes, I know they are dead, and I am sure you could cut them down for cheap, but unless "cheap" means you will do it for free, cut it up, haul it away and bring ME a soda, then I am afraid I can't afford it. Then I would calmly close the door.

Well Mother Nature done took care of the me. Last night a freak storm came through and knocked one down. Luckily #'s 1, 2 and borrowed girl were out, so the cars were safe. Anyway, I got home from work, saw the mess and yelled YES! Now all we have to do is take down the other one and I will once again be able to sleep in on Saturdays.

Thank you mother nature, you were my only hope! Giggle Snort.


Sunday, April 29, 2007 6:44 PM


If I were in your area, I'd bring you a soda everyday if you'd let me come and yell mean things at your tree.

Sunday, April 15, 2007 6:52 AM


Well...if I wasn't hundreds - if not thousands - of kilometres away from where you reside, I would offer to play lumberjack along with nvghostrider. Would even bring a case of soda along in a cooler;)


Thursday, April 12, 2007 1:06 PM


Tree removal is why God invented explosives.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 9:11 AM


Awesome. Hell, if I was down that way, I'd do it for free on a Saturday cuz... well, cuz I have no life at all. Still, keep makin' fun of the Fools Parade. Eventually they'll either get the hint or get hit on the head by a falling branch. Death is optional.


Wednesday, April 11, 2007 7:29 AM


OK I just laughed my head off... WHAT MY TREE IS DEAD??? LOL I love you FMF...oh and did you know some pacific islanders believe that if you go out every morning at dawn and yell mean things at the tree every day in 40 days it will die...

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 7:18 AM


Hell I'd cut 'em down and bring ya a soda just for the sheer satisfaction of playing lumberjack. Destroy destroy!!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 7:12 AM


I see a big sign in your yard:

free firewood, U cut it U haul it away.

Unless the city does that for you?


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