“Adrift” Part Three

Dramatis Personae Captain Elsa Schroeder Malcolm Reynolds Tash Ramos Silas Pilot William Jayne Cobb Zoe Warren Wash Warren Inara Tom

Captain Elsa Schroeder: Captain Reynolds, kindly drop your weapon and your gunbelt to the floor, please.

(sound of a gun and a gunbelt hitting a metal floor)

Captain: Danke.

Mal: You’re going to have a tougher time stealing my boat than you think, lady. I have twelve good men…and women…waiting for you to make a mistake.

Captain: Your twelve people can wait until they are old and gray. We have what we came for. Tash and Ramos, please escort Captain Reynolds to the cargo bay. We will lock him there until we have returned to Ezra. Silas, seal the hatch.

Tash, Ramos, and Silas together: Yes, Captain.

Mal: You…huh?

(20-30 seconds of boots on metal floor followed by a metal door opening)

Captain: William, Reynolds is secured. Reverse the polarity and send the crippled garbage scow into the atmo. We have no use for it.

Pilot: C-Captain?

Captain: (shouting) You’re days of questioning my orders are numbered! Do as I say. NOW!

Pilot: Yes, Captain.

(two hollow metallic clanking noises and the whine of engines)

Captain: Was Geschieht?

Pilot: What the hump?

Captain: Why did we just lurch?

Pilot: I don’t know. The harder I push on their aft, the more our aft comes around. It’s like…oh.

Captain: What? What is it?

Pilot: The firefly just latched onto us with a magnetic grapple. If we push, they pull. We’ll just keep going around in circles like this.

Captain: Do something!

Pilot: I’m trying.

Captain: Idiot!

*

(hiss and slide of a door opening)

Jayne: I’ve got a real uncomfortableness, so let’s not hang around here all day.

Zoe: I wasn’t fixing to. I’ll go disable their engines, you find the Captain. Inara, wait here until we return and, ah, lock the door.

(footsteps on metal floor followed by gun cocking)

Zoe: Ah, ah ah. Hands up. Where’s the engine room?

Tom: That way.

Zoe: Let’s go. You lead. March.

(transitional music)

(footsteps on metal floor followed by gun cocking)

Jayne: All of you, drop the guns.

(three shots being fired rapidly followed by three bodies hitting the ground)

Jayne: Drop the gun.

(gun hitting metal floor)

Jayne: Where’s Mal Reynolds?

Silas: Right here.

(Door opening)

Jayne: What’s this shee-niou?

Silas: The cargo hold. He’s in here.

(sound of someone being knock out cold)

Jayne: Hey, ah Mal? You in here?

(from the depths of a hold)

Mal: Jayne ‘zat you? Help me out in here.

Jayne: (walking forward) We don’t got time for the cargo. We’ll be lucky if we get out of here with our pee-gu…Ah, Mal? Who are all these folk, and why are they in diapers?

Mal: Slaves. This is the cargo. You have my permission to kill Badger.

Jayne: Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng!

Mal: I hope Zoe’s got a decent plan for getting us out of here.

Jayne: What makes you think I don’t got a decent plan?

Mal: (clears throat) How’d you get here?

Jayne: Inara’s shuttle. I hope all these folks fit.

Mal: They better. O.k. folks real quiet-like. Let’s go.

(10 seconds of not-so-quiet murmuring, 20-30 footsteps, chains clanking, chains dragging on a metal floor, two sets of boots stomping, loud Shush’s, etc.)

Jayne: Here, just knock.

(pounding on a metal door reverberating down a metal hallway)

Inara: Jayne, I... What the guai? Mal, what is this?

Mal: Slaves. Come on folks.

Inara: All these people won’t fit in my shuttle. This is unacceptable. Mal, are you listening to me?

Mal: What are you getting so uptight about, mei mei? It’s not like you never seen this many people in their underwear before.

(running boots)

Zoe: GO! GO! GO!

Jayne: Pick up the gorramn pace.

(copious gunfire and people screaming)

Mal: Leave them! They're dead! Let’s go, ma shong!

(door slamming shut)

Mal: Inara, take us home. Zoe, where is everybody?

Zoe: Wash is waiting for us at the helm. Kaylee is eyeing the screens so Schroeder doesn’t try anything funny. Book, Simon and River are on their way back, and we are the rest.

*

Captain: Full throttle, shear away!

Pilot: We have no power.

Captain: (soft click) All hands, seal off all hatches. Reynolds must not escape. Silas to the engine room find out what is wrong. Gottfluch sie, Reynolds!

*

Mal: O.k., Wash, Let's make like horse shee and hit the trail. Inara, Kaylee and Jayne, see to our guests.

Jayne: We’re not getting paid for this shee-niou are we?

Mal: Some things are worth more than money, Jayne, like the look on Badger’s face when I knock his block off. After we pick up the others, set a course for the closest planet. We’ll need to tear Serenity down and get more chuck, a lot more.

Wash: Aye Aye, Capitan!

The end.