W.I.T.C.H. by Cybersnark

OTHER SCIENCE FICTION SERIES

W.I.T.C.H.

POSTED BY: CYBERSNARK
UPDATED: Friday, July 28, 2006 04:22
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VIEWED: 3194
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Wednesday, July 26, 2006 4:56 AM

One of my new favourite shows wasn't on this weekend (Family channel frelled up the broadcast schedule again), so I thought I'd come on here to talk about it.

. for examples of the animation, since I can't find any good screencaps anywhere.

Has anybody else been watching this show?

It's produced by Disney, for Jetix, based on a (French?) comic book. The series focuses on this group of five girls (whose initials spell out the title), pre-destined Guardians of the Veil (upgraded to Guardians of the Infinite Realms in S2). I know, it sounds like a ripoff of shoujou sentai* animé, but it reminds me of nothing so much as Buffy.

There've been other Guardian quintets before --it's a generational thing, much like the Slayers. In this case, the fates of the previous Guardians end up playing a major role in S2. The old group fell apart when one of them was murdered by one of their own (the Evil Guardian is the Big Bad of season 2). The Guardians have two forms; their human identities and their transformed modes. They have a jewelled pendant called the Heart of Kandrakhar, which serves as a conduit for their power (when they transform, little blobs of magic streak out of the Heart and into each of them, returning when they power down). When they transform, they age to adults (meaning that they can pass themselves off as their own older sisters), and they can fly, obviously using some form of telekinesis, since there's no way those tiny wings can support them (apparently, in the comic-continuity, Hay Lin [who can control air] is the only one who can fly, pretty much confirming it).

The action switches between Earth and a world called Meridian, which is basically a take on Middle-Earth (yet vaguely reminiscent of Pylea, from Angel), populated by humans, lurdens (who serve as orcs, filling out the Evil Army), passlings (little troll/goblin things, about knee-high), and another (elf-like) race who look like humans with bony growths around their faces (they may actually be humans, with the "bones" being some kind of tribal ornamentation).

The lurdens aren't just orc-analogues; they actually show individual personality and intelligence, and one of them (named Tynar) even becomes a pivotal character towards the end of S1. Apparently, Phobos has been telling lies to his troops to secure their loyalty, painting the world beyond the Veil as a savage world of torture and cruelty. Tynar ends up rescued by the Guardians (after his own side left him to die) and learns the truth, then becomes a double-agent, sowing dissent in the ranks until Phobos' army defects en masse.

Meridian is ruled by Prince Phobos (and his giant snake-monster hench-thing, Lord Cedric), and it's been 15 years since a pair of servants smuggled his infant sister away from his clutches, to Earth. S1 revolves around the hunt for the long-lost sister, whose magical powers are greater than Phobos' own (she is the incarnation of the Heart of Meridian --which implies that there's a Heart of Earth around somewhere). Once she's found, he orchestrates a "coronation," intended to transfer her power to him, making him unstoppable (and killing her, incidentally). The Veil is artificially maintained to prevent Phobos' power from reaching Earth (after the end of S1, the Veil is lowered and its magic is shunted to the Guardians, supercharging their old powers and adding a new ability in each of them). Unfortunately, the Veil is full of holes, called Portals, through which Phobos' agents can travel.

Battling Phobos is a tattered, threadbare rebellion, lead by a kid named Caleb (he kinda reminds me of a teenaged Angel, wearing a brown coat

). Caleb ends up as the series' male lead (while still managing to avoid being turned into "the token guy" a la Tuxedo Mask). He's tough, iron-willed, kinda arrogant (but he's earned it), and actually a bit more savvy than the girls. Of course, leading a rebellion at 15 doesn't exactly make for a normal childhood, so he's a little out of his league on relatively peaceful, technically-advanced Earth. He has no magic, but his strategic ability, swordsmanship, and determination make him every bit as formidable as the Guardians.

The Current Guardians are:

Will (her full name is given as either Wilma or Wilhelmina --you can see why she goes by "Will"

) and her mom move into town in the first ep. She's the leader of the group, despite being the weakest. This is where the Sailor Moon parallel falls apart: no big group-oriented save-the-day attacks. Will's entire purpose is to activate the others' powers, stay out of the way, and use the Heart to close any Portals she might find (this is very much a "finger in the dyke" thing, since new Portals are springing into existence every day). Eventually, Will develops electrical powers, and can bring anything with a charge to life, even communicating with it (she talks to her calculator). Personality wise, Will kinda reminds me of Buffy --sharp-tongued, opinionated, and prone to making wisecracks, but still very much a distractable teenage girl. She collects frogs (she even has a bunch of recognizable Kermit paraphenalia in her room --I'm amazed the animators got away with that), and is constantly in trouble with her mom (who, in turn, reminds me of Joyce).

Irma is my favourite; she's the snarky, sarcastic tomboy. She's also got a temper, which, coupled with the snark, means that she often has to apologize to others who aren't as thick-skinned as they oughtta be --when she deliberately insults people, she goes for the jugular. She's an extreme-sports buff, and also the joker of the group --kinda like a female Wash ('cause you know she'd love Firefly). Her dad's a cop (which causes some stress when the "unexplained" property damage starts cropping up), and she has an irritating little brother. As a Guardian, she has power over Water, and in S2 develops powers of suggestion (she can beam sentences into other peoples' heads and they think its their own idea).

Taranee is the bookworm of the group, and kinda reminds me of Tara (from Buffy). She's shy, quiet, timid, and a bit of a hypochondriac (more phobias than a psychology textbook). She hates her "good girl" identity, and frequently tries to re-invent herself (it's cute when she tries to be bad; she's got no talent for it

). As the girls develop their powers, Taranee starts looking into spiritualism and the occult (she's the one who explains lucid dreaming, astral projection, and psi). In S2, she's the one who figures out why their powers suddenly supercharged (conservation of energy: all the energy that went into maintaining the Veil had to go somewhere). She's the Guardian of Fire, and eventually becomes the centre of a telepathic web connecting the Guardians; she can hear any of their thoughts and broadcast them to each (or just one) of the others.

Cornelia seems like an obvious ode to Buffy's Cordelia (I won't presume to speak for the creator, but it's really striking). She comes off as stuck-up, vain, and self-obsessed, but there's more to her than it looks like --she's the one who keeps the gang focused on the mission, and she masters her powers faster than anyone else. She also gets into a feud with Will when they get different ideas of how to proceed. She's surprisingly smart, competent, and courageous, and she doesn't hate dirt so much that she's afraid to dive into a swamp if any of the others need backup. It serves her well; she's the Earth Guardian, able to control mud, dust, rock, and plant life. Her S2 special power is general telekinesis (which she completely masters within moments). She also has a little sister from Hell, dates Caleb, is best friends with Elyon, and has the most friends outside the group (whenever they need a random supporting character, it's one of Cornelia's friends).

Hay Lin is. . . fun. Seriously, if you tried to take "fun" and give it human form, you'd end up with her. She's zany, wacky, immature, and utterly uninhibited. She just doesn't care what others think, do, or say about her, and can always be counted on to dive into any situation with more enthusiasm than dignity. She's the only member of the group who isn't repulsed by Blunk, or most of the lurdens, creatures, monsters, and various grotesquerie that accompanies the adventure. She's also a budding fashion designer, and spends the first few episodes trying to redesign Caleb's look so he'll blend in. As the Air Guardian, she's the best flyer (which actually shows in the series; while everyone else just hovers and flies in straight lines, she's breaking out the insane high-speed manoeuvres). She can also use her air powers to affect sound (because soundwaves travel through air), giving her super-hearing. Her S2 power is invisibility.

Assisting Caleb is Blunk, a passling, and the token small, not-too-bright, verbally-challenged, comic-relief character, but he actually has an impressive character arc over the two seasons; turning into a respectably brave warrior and Caleb's de-facto right hand. He's identified as a smuggler, but styles himself as a "trader," and spends much of the series bartering away Earth garbage to the clueless Meridianites. His main usefulness at first is that he can smell portals, and all passlings seem to have an incredible sense of smell, using one's odour to identify social standing. The worst thing one can do to a passling is to bathe them, removing their scent, and with it, their status, effectively making them outcasts from passling society. Blunk's still young, so his stench isn't quite overpowering yet. It also means that his defining characteristic is ambition --he plans to forge a trading empire, amassing a fortune's worth of barter goods and assorted trash. Then Caleb makes the mistake of calling him a friend, and Blunk suddenly starts showing loyalty, dedication, and no small amount of courage in the face of overwhelming odds.

Hay Lin's grandmother Yan Lin is a former Guardian, and she's the one who inducts the girls into Guardianship --think of her as their Watcher (and she and Giles would get along famously). She shares Hay Lin's whimsical personality, tempered by age (and with a healthy portion of her own wit). The Lin family (including Hay Lin's parents, but they almost never appear on screen) run a Chinese restaurant called the Silver Dragon, which serves as the unofficial headquarters for the girls. Caleb works there, and has a room in the basement.

There's also Elyon, Cornelia's best friend and (I won't put this in spoilers, since it's glaringly obvious from the first time you see her) Phobos' long-lost sister. Elyon doesn't know her heritage, and her discovery of it drives both her character arc and the whole first season. She gradually gets jealous of Cornelia spending more and more time with her new friends, and this sense of abanonment feeds her into Phobos' clutches. He uses illusion and deception to present Meridian as a paradise, and reveals the Guardians' secret identities to her, which turns her against them, though a part of her misses her friendship with Cornelia. Eventually, she plays a critical role in Phobos' defeat. She's less of a presence in S2, having grown into her role as Princess of Meridian, but she's still central to the plot, and (as of the point where I'm currently watching) is inevitably going to play a major part in events to come.

S1 also introduces Matt, who goes from "Garage Band guy Will has a crush on" to the Guardians' go-to tactics guy and a fellow warrior. His feelings for Will lead to curiosity, which leads to his discovery of the secret, and his own sense of duty leads to his continual involvement with Caleb's rebellion. He's kinda like Xander; the wacky goofball with enough backbone to join up against the Big Bad.

Other characters include Aldarn and Vathek, two of the bone-faced Meridianites. Vathek may be another race; he's huge, and has bright blue skin. Aldarn is Cale's adjutant (and at one point gets manipulated into trying to seize command). Aside from that (and an early attempt to hit on Cornelia), we don't see much of him --I assume he's running things in Meridian while Caleb's on Earth. Vathek was the prison warden in Phobos' dungeons before being outed as a spy. He plays the role of big, smart, muscle ("an intelligent guard. Who could've seen that one coming?"), and ends up as one of the wardens (alongside someone who looks like Tynar, but may just be a generic lurden) guarding Phobos and the other baddies when Elyon takes over. Despite his bulk, he's quick and agile enough to fight with two swords (like Lancelot in King Arthur).

There's also a character called Miranda --a shape-shifter, who switches between the forms of a little girl and a spider-demon thing that looks like a cross between a tribble and Golum, and can spit webbing. She initially works for Phobos as Elyon's handler, but she becomes one of the Knights of Vengeance in S2.

I've heard people say the comics are much better, but I can't comment, having only ever seen copies scanned online in (horrendously bad) translation. Either way, most of the griping is in the "they changed this!" sense. By any standards, this show rocks.

Of course, S2 has Greg Weissman's name on it, so I shouldn't be surprised --Greg is to cartoons what Joss is to live-action --he created Gargoyles. I don't know if/how Weissman was involved in S1 (his name wasn't credited, but in the Gargoyles DVD commentary, he noted that Disney has regulations about peoples' names appearing in credits --it's fully possible he was far enough behind the scenes that he couldn't put his name on it).

At first, I expected it to be just another cheap Americanized attempt at shoujou anime, but it really impressed me. This is the second-best cartoon to ever come out of Disney (close behind Gargoyles and far ahead of Kim Possible).

One of the last S1 episodes has a Buffy-style brawl that trashes the school, and one of the early S2 episodes has this big X-Men-style power battle (Cornelia, Taranee, and Hay Lin versus Miranda and a living Sandpit) --Hay Lin creating hurricanes to contain Sandpit, Taranee throwing fireballs around, Cornelia picking up huge chunks of debris and hurling them about like she's Magneto, Miranda scrabbling over and around walls, roofs, and assorted other obstacles. . .

It's not just the animation either, but the writing --the dialogue is downright Whedonesque in spots:

Yan Lin: Ah! Lord Cedric.
Irma: Lord? They’ve got pretty low standards for knighthood over there.

Will: I'm going back for Caleb.
Hay Lin: No! I fly better than you. Well, actually, chickens fly better than you.

Hay Lin: There’s a million halls down there. It’s like this really cool maze! I mean, cool if we weren’t, you know, trapped in here and everything.

Hay Lin: Cornelia, don’t look down.
Cornelia: That’s for heights you dimwit.
Hay Lin: I know. But if you see your reflection you’ll, like, completely freak.

Caleb: This is a rescue? I was safer as a prisoner!

*after being introduced to Vathek the spy*
Hay Lin: You sure don’t look like a good guy!
Vathek: Uh, thank you?

Taranee: *trying to hypnotize a Lurden* You are sleeeeepy. Not to mention uuuuuugly.

Irma: Wait. You’re telling us this is all the stink-monkey’s fault?
Caleb: Well, duh!
Aldarn: Duh? Your speech has, like, changed, Caleb.

Taranee: I feel something down the back of my neck!
Will: You promise not to freak if I tell you what it is?
Taranee: Uh-uh.
Will: *yanks a snake off Taranee's shirt* Then it's just a hair.

Cornelia: Can you believe Irma didn’t want to throw you a party just because you told her not to?

Cornelia: Guess what the theme is!
Taranee: Uhh, “The color you turn when you’re gonna throw up?"
Cornelia: Frog Party! Are you loving it!?
Lilian: It looks like someone barfed on the walls.

Cornelia: Hey girls! Party Friday, five o’clock, Irma’s house. It’s Will’s birthday.
Hay Lin: It’s a surprise, so don’t tell Will or Irma.
Elyon: But you said it’s at Irma’s house.
Cornelia: Well, that’s what makes it a surprise!

*referring to the map Yan Lin just gave her*
Hay Lin: But why wait until now to give me this? Is it because my powers are finally mature enough that I'm worthy?
Yan Lin: Nah, it was in the attic. I couldn't find it. Found my old tennis racquet too.

Taranee: Why don't we just take the elevator?
Will: You mean the elevator with the ding like a microwave telling him we're inside ready to eat?
Taranee: Eh, you're right. Let's fly up.

Elyon: *watching Caleb wistfully through the window* Wrap him up. I'll take him.

Irma: If anyone tells Caleb he was right about this, she is out of the group!

*girls are carrying an unconscious teacher home and accidentally drop him*
*Mr. Collins drops off-screen, then bounces back into frame*
Hay Lin: Hey look, the Martins have a trampoline!
*Mr. Collins falls back off-screen, making a loud splash*
Irma: And a swimming pool.
*dogs barking*
Taranee: And dogs.

Caleb *to the girls* Hey, you’re only supposed to transform for emergencies.
Irma: Well, what do you call pushing a wet, unconscious man up a hill in a wheelbarrow at midnight?!
Caleb: Unnecessary if you’d listened to me?

Cornelia: Beat it, shrimp. I’m going to bed early and if you do anything to ruin my sleep, I’ll personally drop kick you into the wolf pit at the zoo.
Corny's sister: You’re mean!
Cornelia: I’m not mean. Wolves are mean. Go!

Irma: *in Phobos' library* You’d think a guy who’d read all these books would be teaching evil by now.

Cornelia: Why is it always so dark here?
Irma: Different time zones. Evil is five hours ahead of us.

Blunk: *watching photocopier with fascination* Oooo! How it do it?
Caleb: I don’t know “how it do it.” All I know is, this machine will make identical maps of Phobos’s castle for all my Field Commanders, after I finish copying “Today’s Yummy Shrimp Specials.”

Customer: What’s the Szechwan Chicken like?
Caleb: *grabbing half-eaten plate from another table* It’s like this, but there’s more of it.

Customer: *looking at menu* Oh, I don’t know. What do you recommend?
Caleb: That you hurry up. I’ve got other customers.
Husband: Waiter! My wife asked for water with no ice.
Caleb: Then tell her to wait until it melts.

Taranee: *to teacher* I apologize for making a big deal about the paper. *quietly* And asking the principal to suspend you without pay.

Sondra: Surely you don’t ski on those tiny little legs?
Will: As surely as you can talk with that tiny little brain.

Caleb: So, you don’t like skiing?
Taranee: Right.
Caleb: And you don’t like this girl?
Cornelia: Right.
Caleb: So, now you're going skiing, with this girl.
Cornelia/Taranee: Right!

Taranee: I admire Hay Lin. She doesn't care about boys, or what people think of her.
*Hay Lin streaks past on skis, clearly out of control*
. . . Or if she ever walks again.

Hay Lin: Isn't that cheating?
Will: I hope so, because there’s no way I’m going to beat her fair and square.

Will: *to Matt* Would you like to ski down me --er, with me?

Will: Hey, what’s that poster over there?
Cornelia: “Drama Night.” Every year four groups of kids, oh, I’m sorry, losers, put on these mini plays on a theme.
Taranee: All the parents and grandparents come. It’s a whole big “loser thing.”
Cornelia: More like a lame-fest.
Hay Lin: *joining girls* Great news! I signed us up to do a play for “Drama Night!”

Taranee: Why’d you sign up to do a play and then drag us into it?
Hay Lin: So I can design the cool costumes! And ‘cause I need someone to be in them.

Teacher: You won’t be doing a play next year, girls, because you’ll still be in detention from this year!
Hay Lin: But the costumes were okay?

*two Meridianite children are playing kick-catch*
*ball rolls away onto a sandy patch*
*boy rushes after the ball, but the sand ripples, turning into Sandpit and swallowing the boy as he screams*
*his sister screams and flees as Sandpit goes on rampage*
(. . .)
*Guardians defeat Sandpit, rescuing his victims*
Girl: Michael, you're back!
(beat)
Did you get our ball?

Cornelia: Can't we just transform and fly up?
Will: We can't risk being seen just because you decided to wear heels today.

Blunk: *pulling over in a cab* Yo, want ride?
Caleb: Blunk! You stole a. . . *reading* taxi?
Blunk: Not steal. At hotel, hear people say, “Take taxi.” so Blunk take taxi!

Caleb: So, what did you do, put some Guardian spell on them or something?
Grandma: No. Ancient grandma trick: a cookie bribe.
Caleb: There's cookies?
Grandma: Not for you, Mr. I-Can-Elude-A-Tracker-Without-Help-From-Guardians.
Caleb: Um, how’d you know about the Tracker?
Grandma: I have powers that sense the presence of evil. Plus, a granddaughter with a cellphone.

Hay Lin: *on cell phone* Hello? Yeah, dad, I’m even okay-er than I was nine minutes ago! *Will’s parka vibrates* Your Mom?
Will: *pulling out Heart of Kandrakhar* Worse, it’s evil calling.

Elias: Don’t let them bite you!
Cornelia: Well, duh!

Taranee: Everything you paint comes to life?
Cornelia: Ooh! Let’s go clothes-painting!

Cornelia: *after a sudden transportation* What happened? And how does my hair look?

Will: I sort of kind of volunteered to be in charge of this year’s Spring Carnival.
Taranee: What? You know how much work that is?
Will: Okay, here’s the thing: that’s why I sort of kind of volunteered you guys to be my committee!

Will: Principal Knickerbocker says that all the cool kids do it.
Hay Lin: You mean the same principal who tries to rap the morning announcements?

Cornelia: Just for that, I won't let any of you date my rejects.

Cornelia: I think this guy's eyes are following me.
Will: You think every guy's eyes are following you.

Hay Lin: So? What did you hear about Brian?
Caleb: I didn’t listen.
Hay Lin: You didn't listen?
Caleb: It’s bad enough I’ve got to hang a towel from my pants and ask people if they want extra apricot sauce! I’m not going to go further demean myself by jotting down the ramblings of a love-struck girl!
Hay Lin: If you hide behind the mandarin tree and take notes, I’ll do your next shift!
Caleb: Interesting.

Cornelia: You know, it’s weird. Elyon’s “perfect guy” has always been tall, with long blond hair and blue eyes.
Will: So?
Hay Lin: So, Caleb kneeled behind her through a whole chicken salad and she described Brian as average height with short red hair.
Cornelia: And green eyes! Hey, why’d you spy on me anyway?
Hay Lin: In case Elyon swore you to secrecy.

Caleb: So what do I do? I cut the ropes and I swing magnificently right into the open Portal!
Cornelia: Then you skid magnificently across fifty feet of paved road.

Knickerbocker: Local merchants have once again donated generously to our Parents’ Day festivities. We got this darling assortment of paper cups from Cup City. . .
Irma: 'Cause nothing says par-tay like Three Little Pigs cups.

Will: KDRIP’s pre-recorded. It’s the same songs every night from 6 to 10. After this comes, My heart breaks for Ya, then My heart aches for Ya.
Irma: You actually know this?
Will: Sappy music goes perfect with being grounded.

*Cornelia's walking down the street, wearing headphones*
*Caleb comes up behind her, tries to say something, and realizes she can't hear him*
*Caleb mischeivously grabs her headphones and puts them on, then quickly yanks them off*
Caleb: Gah! Girly music!
*he drops the headphones, making frantic "get it off me!" gestures*

Caleb: I just saw Cornelia. She’s hiding out listening to girl music.
Yan Lin: Oh, she just needs some time.
Caleb: She needs better taste in music.

Caleb: This is Elyon’s sketchbook? Half a picture of a horse?
Will: Look, I was all alone and I was outnumbered! And it’s not a horse, I think it’s a face.
Cornelia: *turning the picture sideways* Or a map of Spain.

Hay Lin: So, anybody know anything about a missing sketchbook?
Irma: No, but you win the Random Question of the Day Award!

Taranee: *sending out a fireball at virtual Elyon* See, no shadow.
Cornelia: Kind of Dracula-ish.
Hay Lin: Check it. This one’s all mine.
*blowing gust of wind at a second virtual Elyon*
You know, add some bleepy noises, and this would be a really cool video game!

Caleb: Cornelia, do you know where I can get more trashcan lids? They make great shields.
Cornelia Clone: And you are? Wait, wait, wait.
*she pulls out an index card to look for the answer but Caleb snatches it away from her*
Caleb: *reading* “Caleb: real cute boy that you like, but he doesn’t know, so don’t say anything.”
*flattered*
Really?
*snaps out of it*
Wait a second, you’re not Cornelia!

Taranee: Big news! I kind of almost nearly have a date!
Will: That’s great! Who’s the kind of almost nearly lucky guy?

Blunk: *checking out his distorted reflection in the Horn of Hypnos* Pretty Passling. Why you not date more?
Caleb: No time for the entire list. Come on, we’ve got a mission.

*Matt is rehearsing with his band as the garage door opens, revealing an oblivious Will, bopping to the music. The band stops playing*
Matt: Will?
Will: *opening her eyes, caught red-handed* Oh. Hi, Matt...Guys. I was just riding by and remembered I need to borrow uh. . .
*looks around*
hedge thingies!
Matt: Sure. Help yourself.
*Will sheepishly grabs some hedge clippers, trips herself, and falls. Then she waves goodbye and heads out as the garage door starts closing*
Matt: Oh, Will? We’re playing at the school Friday night.
*Will crouches to look under the closing door*
Will: Yeah, I heard! Maybe I’ll see you there!
*The door is almost closed. Will’s practically lying on the ground*
Matt: Great! You want to go with me?
*The garage door closes and Will cheers*

Taranee: Okay. Exact words, Will.
Will: *ecstatic* "You want to go with me?"
Hay Lin: Date. Definitely a date.
Cornelia: I cannot believe Will has a date to the dance and I don’t!
Caleb: *entering* Good, you’re all here. Big news!
Cornelia: We heard, dance Friday night. And you say. . . ?
Caleb: Uh, Cedric’s using rebels to build this giant drill?
Cornelia: No, you’re taking me! I’ll be ready at seven. Oh and don’t wear those yucky boots.

Hay Lin: *about Book of Secrets* Is there, like, an online version we could hack into?
Irma: What, like Phobos’-Secrets-dot-evil?

Hay Lin: I hear lots of men talking.
Taranee: An ambush?
Irma: Or a Star Trek convention.

Hay Lin: Guards are people too! Or weird creature/people, anyway.

Taranee: Guys! Trouble!
Cornelia: We’re eight-hundred feet underground in a prison guarded by man-eating cockroaches. How could there possibly be trouble?

Caleb: You’re an important part of this plan. See that metal gate? I’ll raise it while you keep him busy.
Blunk: Keep busy who?
*Caleb tosses Blunk in the direction of an enormous moat creature which opens its mouth to swallow him*
Caleb: Him! Good luck, you can do it!
Blunk: This not plan! This menu!

Will: *bringing home Tynar, a wounded Meridian guard* Mom said no pets. She didn’t say anything about seven-foot tall humanoids from the Metaworld!
Irma: How badly injured is he?
Cornelia: I have First Aid training in case of cheerleading accidents!
Irma: Corny, he was hit by a spike, not a pom-pom.

Will: Okay, let’s stick this guy in the laundry.
Tynar: *apprehensive* Laundry? Is that your dungeon?
Cornelia: Not unless we make you iron.

Will's Mom: You locked the laundry room door?
Will: *babbling* I, uh, wanted to practice locking it in case we ever, you know, get a dog, and he tries to come in with muddy feet while I’m doing laundry and everything gets dirty. And hey! It worked!
Will's Mom: A dog? Apparently you didn’t get rid of the dormouse.
Will: Mom, I swear, Mr. Huggles is at Irma's house!
Will's Mom: Okay, but that tiny animal didn’t eat ten pounds of rodent chow.
*Tynar burps from his hiding place. Taranee presses her hand to her mouth to feign responsibility*
Taranee: I ate it!
Will *to mom* I told you to buy potato chips.

Lilian: Looking for Mr. Huggles? I let him out so he could meet Napoleon. I think they’ll be great friends.
Cornelia: You set a mouse loose. . . with a cat?!? DON'T YOU WATCH CARTOONS!?!

Blunk: Have to prove Jeek is thief. Must protect good name!
(beat)
Well, must protect name.

Irma: Wait, wait, wait! Kandrakhar exists? I thought it was just a magical brand name.

Irma: Oh no! You didn't broadcast my crush on Andrew Hornby, did you?
Taranee: Er. . . no, but you just did.

Hay Lin: Cool! It's like having a hundred new friends!
Ed the cell phone: You forgot to bring me to school again! What if your mother needed to reach you?
Irma: More like a hundred new parents.

Caleb: Okay, Mr. Show-Me-The-Ropes. Why are Earth girls so. . .impossible?
Matt: Dude, books have been written.

Will: *about Caleb and Matt* Since when are they best buds?
Taranee: XY plus XY. . .

Will's Mom: Sleeping in class? What do you have to say for yourself?
Will: That it would be easier without all that ‘teaching’ going on.

(* "Sentai" refers to a team of brightly-coloured superheroes --the Power Rangers are the typical example-- and "shoujou" just means that the team is all-girl. Think Sailor Moon.)

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We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Thursday, July 27, 2006 11:09 PM

TOMONKELCANNABIA

Wow you seem to be really enthusiastic about it. I hope you just copied all those quotes and didn't write them yourself

I wanted to watch it but it's so hard to find it on bittorrent since the search engines there don't recognize dots and there are about a billion torrents with witch in the name.

Anyway I'll keep looking for it and see if it's really as great as you say. The quotes are pretty funny actually

btw: Am I the only one who doesn't like youtube?

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Friday, July 28, 2006 4:22 AM

CYBERSNARK

Yeah, I cut'n'pasted most of the quotes from TV.com (plus a few that I remembered that they didn't have).

And no, I hate youtube too (bad compression, eats up my connection, can't take stuff offline to play at my leisure), it's just that most of the vids there can't be found anywhere else.

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We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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