GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables - Not for the Faint of Heart

POSTED BY: PHOENIXROSE
UPDATED: Monday, July 17, 2006 11:53
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Saturday, July 15, 2006 8:40 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


I know Tristan usually starts these, but he wasn't on and the last one was getting all long so here we are with a new home.

Last thread can be found here: http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=22281&m=340565#340565

So I have a question for you mature and reasonable people here.
Hickies: why do so many people have an issue with them?
Many have said they look "trashy" or are given by "slutty" people. I think it's just a sign of healthy passion and enjoying yourself with a partner. Also I like to see one and be reminded of that; makes me feel all warm. In fact, the Kama Sutra talks about "marking" technique in order to remind a parter of you. But now they're considered "unprofessional" and the like. Why? And will this ever be surmounted?

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Saturday, July 15, 2006 9:17 PM

WHITEFALL


Ok, as usual I have no experience nor information on the subject, but I'll take a stab...

My guess is, with the industrial workplace invention of things like sexual harassment codes and the like, anything that outwardly makes references to sex is frowned upon. Which is of course rediculous in US society, since sex is advertised in little ways all over the place.

Damn dual nature of society.

Ok, really I have no idea about the subject, just wanted to post.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Saturday, July 15, 2006 9:20 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


That's actually a pretty good point.
You actually have a fairly unique perspective. Never having had one yourself, what's your personal stance one them? Do they bother you?

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Saturday, July 15, 2006 9:21 PM

DTUCK


I've never really paid any mind when someone had a hicky. I honestly don't see what the big deal is about them.

On a slightly related note, and forgive me if this has been discussed before... do y'all have odd places that you like to be kissed or touched that just make you crazy? (and keep it clean, the usual places don't apply) My ex used to kiss this one spot on the side of my neck, and utilizing that technique, she could, usually very easily, persuade me to do anything she wished. I was powerless against the neckspot. But I had her number... trailing a single finger up and down her spine, ever so gently, was her trigger.

How bout y'all?

__________________________________

The best way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. - Oscar Wilde

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Saturday, July 15, 2006 9:27 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


I have.... a lot of those.
Um, tongue behind the ear. Soft sucking bite where my neck joins my shoulder. Kiss on the collarbone. Kiss right under the jawline. Scraching lightly at the base of my skull. Fingers through my hair right over my ear; that spot on my scalp is very sensitive (like most of me...) Fingers up and down my spine, yes indeed. Or gentle stroking across the small of my back. I think thse are the ones that really drive me crazy and make me putty in the hands, though there are others that are only slightly less effective.
And the "usual place" is actually a good thing to steer clear of at first; too sensitive to withstand anything til it's ready.

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Saturday, July 15, 2006 9:34 PM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


As far as hickies go, my personal opinion is that seeing a hickey on someone you don't know all that well enters the realm of TMI. I agree with you, PR, that hickies are a part of a healthy sex life, but that doesn't mean that I necessarily want to know that detail about my boss. It's the same as seeing a girl's thong sticking out the top of her pants, IMO. Thongs are great underwear, but seeing a total stranger's thong in a restaurant is really more than I needed to know.

Besides, I've always kind of liked the idea of a hidden hickey. It's like wearing sexy underwear under your normal work clothes -- only you know it's there, and it makes you feel sexy all day.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Saturday, July 15, 2006 9:39 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Hidden hickies are nice. Too bad so many of my favorite areas are fairly visible
I need to find more nice turtle necks. I've only found one that doesn't make me feel like I'm choking.
I don't really mind seeing them on those I don't know that well, though. It gives me hope for the world to know that people have passion and release it in healthy ways. I really do think that if everyone had a healthy sex life the world would be a better place.
I might be a frustrated sex therapist.

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Saturday, July 15, 2006 9:57 PM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


Quick, only semi-related story before I log out for the night. Hubby and I went to the beach today, and as we were walking along, me in my bikini, we passed several surfer type guys, probably 19 or 20 years old, going the other direction. *Right* after we passed them, we heard one of them say to the others, "Damn, I need to have sex!" Given the view of my cleavage they had, I took it as quite the compliment, and hubby and I had a nice laugh.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Saturday, July 15, 2006 10:04 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


I want to get that reaction!

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Saturday, July 15, 2006 11:15 PM

COPILOT


Hey TDuck's in the hoizous! Okay so yeah I'm not very ganster but I wuv my TDuck to death! Sorry i ditched ya earlier honey bunny!

Still don't have my death metal polka!

Due to that time of the month my brests have swollen a bit. So yeah didn't relize untill my friend was looking down my shirt that I was flashing clevage all day! Yipes no wonder we had so much interest! Kidding a little not really.

A little flattering that he said well the view was well worth the effort! He was helping me with a computer issue I forgot what it was.




An I carried such a torch

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Saturday, July 15, 2006 11:43 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


I recently had something like a half-cup increase, maybe a little less than that. Nothing fits quite right anymore. I think most of it is some weight gain, though. But hey, if they stay that way, I'm ok with that. Maybe. I really like my clothes...

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 12:11 AM

COPILOT


yep the supreme suckage of weight gain! I have to go shopping! I hate shopping! Especially when I'm gaining weight! I feel like such a freak no matter how much my friends tell me I'm still hot!

An I carried such a torch

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 12:15 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


I love shopping, I just really love my clothes and want them to always fit. Plus there is money issues; I feel like I'm spending money that could and should be spent on other things.
At the moment, though, the only things that really don't fit are jeans and some of my silk shirts. Neither of these things have any give. And bras of course; had to buy some new ones, no getting around that.
I think I still look fine, just want my gorram clothes to fit.

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 1:28 AM

PIZ


Quote:

Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Hickies: why do so many people have an issue with them?
Many have said they look "trashy" or are given by "slutty" people. I think it's just a sign of healthy passion and enjoying yourself with a partner. Also I like to see one and be reminded of that; makes me feel all warm. In fact, the Kama Sutra talks about "marking" technique in order to remind a parter of you. But now they're considered "unprofessional" and the like. Why? And will this ever be surmounted?

Don't like hickies, never have. Didn't like them when I got them. Only ever gave one, and that by accident. Nothing to do with repression or a problem with "healthy passion" or the like - there's nothing repressed about my sexuality. To me they're no different than an open cut or sore. Yukko.

Don't see why dislike of hickies needs to be "surmounted," any more than any other personal preference that causes no harm. No reason anyone else needs to change their preference just because I don't like them. Sure, I'd rather not see them, but I can always just look away.

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 1:47 AM

MAVOURNEEN


Have to go with Piz and CK on this one...but siding slightly with CK.
I personally don't care what two consenting adults do to or with each other, as long as it doesn't involve children or animals - neither of those can consent, and that's key. Hell, sheit on each other. Not my business. Enjoy yourself. Just don't sheit on me.

Hickies fall near this category. I personally don't want to be sucked/bit until I am bruised. If you want to, fine. enjoy. You don't need to advertise it. Cover it up, if it shows. It's TMI for others.

My question is...why are women with strong sex drives viewed differently than women with an "average" drive? Why do men find this both VERY appealing and VERY disturbing? Madonna/Whore complex?

"Have you ever been with a Warrior Woman?"

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 1:51 AM

PIZ


Quote:

Originally posted by Mavourneen:
My question is...why are women with strong sex drives viewed differently than women with an "average" drive? Why do men find this both VERY appealing and VERY disturbing? Madonna/Whore complex?

Never understood the problem about women with strong sex drives. Nothing disturbing about it.

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 3:04 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Bruises are different from hickies.
Trust me.
Maybe it's just me, but I've always gotten hickies very easily, and they don't hurt. But I've also been actually bruised by teeth, and that does hurt.
The surmounting I was talking about was them being considered unprofessional and unacceptable. It's like they're some horrible taboo, which I don't think has a lot to do with personal preference.
And I'm sorry if I made it seem like not giving or having hickies meant you were repressed, that was not my intent, only that they could and almost always are an indicator of passion.

I've experienced that attitude towards a woman with a strong drive. Ex of Doom at one point actually said I was both "insatiable" and a "nympho" which I thought was a little unfair.
I think they want it because it means all the sex they can stand; and find it disturbing for the exact same reason. Maybe they worry they can't keep up?
This directed only at those who have this view, of course.

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 3:11 AM

TRISTAN


Morning, all.
My area apparently had some internet issues yesterday, so I was unable to check the boards or post another thread. Thank you, PR, for doing this while I was unable, but I'll take care of them in the future barring any other internet issues.

I have a mailbox full, so I will be back in a little bit to catch up.

______________________________________

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 3:17 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Happy to be of service!
*hands the Imponderables torch back to Tristan*
I was just borrowing it...

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 3:18 AM

PIZ


Quote:

Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Ex of Doom at one point actually said I was both "insatiable" and a "nympho" which I thought was a little unfair.

To paraphrase our captain: He's hittin' all the sellin' points!

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 3:22 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Well, I'm not completely insatiable, just more so that most women. But as nymphomania actually means compulsively having sex with basically anyone who is willing as a way to satisfy some kind of addiction that really leaves only emptiness... I don't think that was fair. 'Course, most people don't know what it means, they just throw the word around, so I didn't get mad at him for it.
But yeah, I thought it was a selling point, too!
Really, though, I think he was convinced he couldn't keep up with me.

Well, he couldn't...

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 3:29 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Hickies... I immediately think high school and first boyfirend and experimenting without going 'too far' and hickies resulting which leads to some disgusted looks from teachers and some stern words from parents... not the pinacle of 'sexual experience for me!!

On the places list - definitely the neck towards the back near my shoulder...oooooh..
*shivers at the mere memory with longing*

inside my knee & just below and above my knee... mmmmmmmm

just above the inside of my wrist... aaaah

Also - I am celebate by choice at the moment but not sexually repressed - as you might note! Just wanting to be a little thoughtful before inviting someone to enter "the temple" again (and that sounds repressed doesn't it?)and enjoying some BDH fantasies in the mean-time ...ooops, sorry TMI? (or not enough??)?

Yeah - definitely shaking my 'nice' image here!! See what this 'imponderable' thread-ing does to you??

Love, as always - Magdalena x x

P.S. - yes, bruises are different and if someone is bruising you and telling you it's a hickie... think carefully about that someone!!


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Sunday, July 16, 2006 3:35 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


That doesn't sound repressed at all, darling! It sounds both wise and smart. Your body is a temple and deserves fine, fine treatment Don't let anyone say different.
Neck towards the back near my shoulder... I think we have a common weakness. Or very close.
And yes the boy who bruised me (quite badly) and said it was "just a hickie"... Well, he was long ago and far away.

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 3:58 AM

TRISTAN


PR, no problem at all! Glad to see the thread is of such interest that it can be carried on without me here! And you don't really need a torch...just go Phoenix-like!

Now, to the Imponderables:

Hickies. I do enjoy them, but they harken back to high school days where they were used as "territorial" markings...usually in a highly visible place, such as the neck. Nowadays, it's tough to explain them away; especially if one deals with the public on a daily basis. I like the hidden ones.

DTuck, I am with you on the neck as a sensitive kissing spot. Sends shivers down me spine, it does!

Cleavage is good...

Mavourneen, I think a woman with a healthy sex drive is wonderful! Time for a bit of a soapbox speech...excuse me for a moment.
I have neevr liked the fact that men have the unspoken right to sleep with as many females as they want and only be labeled "stud", while if a woman does the same, she is labeled "slut" or "loose". Humans, as I have said before, generally have a healthy sex drive. We can "mate" year-round, and do so. But the double-standard sucks. Of the women I dated, I enjoyed the company of those that had experience...and enjoyed getting the experience...over the repressed, "sex is bad"-type women. I still think there is a line that should not be crossed, like sleeping with people just to get notches in your belt, but I fully believe that both males and females shuold be able to enjoy themselves sexually without having to be labeled by society.
Ok, stepping off the box now. Thanks for listening!

PR, following the above train-of-thought, I am at an age now where I can't "keep up" like I used to. A woman with a very healthy sex drive would kill me...as my wife is doing ,but I try my best to keep up. A woman with a healthier sex drive than I does not scare me away, I just worry that I won't be man enough for long enough to satisfy her.

Magdalena, hi there! Not sure if you have been here before...if so, welcome back; if not, welcome! Even us married folk have BDH fantasies at times. And there are very few things in this thread that are TMI!

Alright, I think that has me caught up...sorry about the long post, but being denied the internet gave me withdrawals!

______________________________________

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 4:06 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Indeed. As I said before, I think when we were talking about the "lawn care", enjoying yourself in no way should be construed as "slutty" and also notches on the belt are bad and so are double standards.
That's kinda funny "Can't Hold us Down" just popped up on my music playlist. It talks about that very thing.
And no worries; your post wasn't near as long as mine tend to be when I play catchup

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 4:39 AM

KENOBIUS


Ah, nothing I love more than waking up and talking about hickies, magic spots, and sluts.

Actually, I've never given/received a hickie, so you luck out on not hearing my opinion on this one.

Magic spots - There is a few spots that register a little hotter than others, but it's been awhile so things might have changed. Again, I'm pretty useless to the topic.

And as for sluts verses normal folk just enjoying life; I think everyone is entitled to have whatever kind of sex drive they want. Some can't get enough while others are pleased with a little something here or there. You start to cross over to the darkside when you use it to get something you want. That's what makes a slutty person in my book. I knew a few ladies in high school that would sleep with you just for kicks and not for anything else. I'm addicted to sex just as much as the next guy, but that's a bit ridiculous.


http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 4:49 AM

PENGUIN


Quote:

Originally posted by magdalena:Hic
On the places list - definitely the neck towards the back near my shoulder...oooooh..
*shivers at the mere memory with longing*

inside my knee & just below and above my knee... mmmmmmmm

just above the inside of my wrist... aaaah

Also - I am celebate by choice at the moment but not sexually repressed - as you might note! Just wanting to be a little thoughtful before inviting someone to enter "the temple" again (and that sounds repressed doesn't it?)and enjoying some BDH fantasies in the mean-time ...ooops, sorry TMI? (or not enough??)



*considers becoming a high priest...*


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Sunday, July 16, 2006 5:04 AM

SERYN


Hickies - as with so many things, i've no moral objections to them (i've only ever seen them as some ridiculous teen thing which is usually done with as much passion as writing 'toni and kev 4 eva' on bus shelters is i.e, as a marking exercise) but if someone finds it passionate then whatever floats their boat. But i just think they are so incredibly ugly. Exactly like a bruise or other wound. To my mind no one would want something that looked like that on them. I mean things like tattoos can have some meaning to them, or some style and artistry, a deliberate bruise is just bleh. And seeing them on people only induces mild revulsion.

but like i said, what ever floats the boat.

Spots - between my shoulder blades, just underneath them, and up and down to my hair an

oh what the hell, my back. Also known of people having huge sensitive spots just under their butt cheeks and in the crease where leg meets pelvis.

Emma - I hate to say it, but she should in no way go on that holiday, as an older mum, the child is already more at risk from congenital defects, so theres no way she wants to go upping the risk factor. the babies health isn't worth it.
Does she not have holiday insurance? she wouldn't get all of the cash back, but mine i think gives you 80% or something like that, enough to get herself a decent holiday to a none tropical disease ridden country. Then they can plan the mega trip to where ever it was when they sucessfully get the kid to 18 and still living(and off their hands!)
If they don't, enjoy your trip sweetie, and to pay her back (somewhat) buy her a week or two in a health spa/retreat thing.

Music - eternal Tori Amos fan, no one will ever replace her. All the others are so varied that i could be listing things forever.

New imponderable. who is off limits to you as in would you date your best friends brother etc (apart from married people and under 16's if you ain't of course)

I've just always maintained this 'no one you work with, no one related to a close friend etc' rule, and i'm wondering if thats not harshly limiting myself. (mind you, i broke the rule once and got badly burned, so...)

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 5:10 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Quote:

Originally posted by seryn:
Also known of people having huge sensitive spots just under their butt cheeks and in the crease where leg meets pelvis.


Yep. Really all the way around my hip socket. Those can't really be casually accessed in public, though...

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 5:19 AM

KENOBIUS


Quote:

Originally posted by seryn:

New imponderable. who is off limits to you as in would you date your best friends brother etc (apart from married people and under 16's if you ain't of course)



I dated my friend's sister for a long time and nothing bad came out if. Well, that relationship did end kinda badly, but it wasn't because of that.

I'm at a point where the age difference is still a little weird to me and the community, so I try to date (heh) as close to my age as possible.

Aside from being already in a relationship and the risk of going to jail, I tend to leave the window open. If love blossoms, it blossoms. Can't stop the sig- er, feelings. Anyone of my friends should be mature enough to handle it. OH! And co-workers is really off limits cause the only female at work is my manager!


http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 5:24 AM

PIZ


Quote:

Originally posted by Kenobius:
I knew a few ladies in high school that would sleep with you just for kicks and not for anything else. I'm addicted to sex just as much as the next guy, but that's a bit ridiculous.

That raises a ponderable: What do you think of casual sex?

"Casual sex" here means "engaging in sex with someone you're not in a relationship with." (That doesn't mean cheating, but that you're not in a relationship with anyone at the time, including the person you have sex with.)

I have no problem with it on principle. There can be instances where it's a bad decision, but I don't think that's always (or even mostly) the case. For me, if both parties are honest and are just seeking enjoyment of each other with no ulterior motives or hidden issues, there's nothing wrong with it.

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 5:30 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Yeah, I can't do casual. That whole "body is a temple" thing? I meant that. Worship isn't casual. If I don't love and trust someone and they don't love and trust me... I kind of feel sick trying to do anything with them. I'm glad I started to pay attention to that before going all the way. That would have been bad.

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 5:39 AM

PENGUIN


Quote:

Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Yeah, I can't do casual. That whole "body is a temple" thing? I meant that. Worship isn't casual. If I don't love and trust someone and they don't love and trust me...



Amen...

Perfect way of putting it...


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Sunday, July 16, 2006 6:33 AM

ELOISA


Quote:

Originally posted by Piz:
That raises a ponderable: What do you think of casual sex?



I don't see it as a minus mark on anyone I know if they have it. Way to go them, if they're happy with it. Having had a negative experience, I'm not incredibly OK with doing it myself, though. Kind of like skydiving in that respect.

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 7:15 AM

EMMARIGBY


Quote:

Originally posted by seryn:

Emma - I hate to say it, but she should in no way go on that holiday, as an older mum, the child is already more at risk from congenital defects, so theres no way she wants to go upping the risk factor. the babies health isn't worth it.
Does she not have holiday insurance? she wouldn't get all of the cash back, but mine i think gives you 80% or something like that, enough to get herself a decent holiday to a none tropical disease ridden country. Then they can plan the mega trip to where ever it was when they sucessfully get the kid to 18 and still living(and off their hands!)
If they don't, enjoy your trip sweetie, and to pay her back (somewhat) buy her a week or two in a health spa/retreat thing.



You know, she has just phoned me and told me that she has decided not to risk it. Since her holiday insurance won't accept pregnancy as a valid reason for cancelling.... I'm getting the holiday of a lifetime! I still can't believe it! It sounds out of this world. Two weeks in Madagasca, most of it with my own personal jungle guide and private plane and snorkel equiptment for the coral reefs! Oh wow! It's in 3 weeks, 4 days after my work deadline so I'm gonna be a little... INSANE for a while! I have to get all my jabs! I've told my friend that I am in a position to pay him back with interest for all the help he's given me with my project (if he can get his passport renewed in time!) and he's a bit gobsmacked!
I'll never be able to pay her back, ever! If she ever needs a kidney she can have mine. Hell she can have both! I'm literally shaking with excitement. It's all like a beautiful dream!

Sorry not to be commenting on all the wonderful imponderables of hickeys and love spots etc, I'm a bit overexcited at the moment! I'll come back later when I've calmed down.

___________________
Hissssssssss!

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 7:30 AM

BLACKSHAMROCK5


I don't think that there is anything wrong with hickeys,if noone in the party minds them then knock yourself out. I have encountered people who think that they show complete disrespect for the person who gets the hickey which is their opinion I guess.

On the love spots, anywhere near the ears neck region I'm complete jello.

I know that there is no way I would be able to have casual sex with anyone at anytime, but if both people know what they are getting themselves into then go have fun.

Shamrock

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 8:04 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Disrespect?
*clears throat*
TMI warning...


How exactly is giving me massively pleasurable orgasms disrespectful?


K, I know not everyone works that way. But I do. I would be pissed at anyone who didn't work my neck/shoulders/collarbones for all they were worth!

Moving on...
Emma, congrats! I can't wait to hear about your treks through the jungle! I'm glad this whole situation seems to be working out well; your sis gets her baby, you get a fabulous holiday, and she gets a kidney if she ever needs one!

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 9:03 AM

TRISTAN


Body as a temple...hmm. I can see that. My body is a temple to Dionysus (or Bacchus, if you prefer).

Emma, I missed posting this earlier, but congratulations! Auntie Em, eh?



______________________________________

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 9:08 AM

WHITEFALL


Sorry about your question, Rose, I forgot to say I was off to sleep when I last posted.

Having read the other posts and thus found some more background info...... I'm sorta split. I must admit, I'm of the opinion that if I were to see a hicky I would probably say, 'what happened are you ok?' to the embarassment of everyone involved. And if I recognized it beforehand, well... it does come off as a way of showing off, inspiring all the folks who see it to make their own opinions about what happened... I think i'd prefer to not see them.

However, I stand by my previous post that, in american society there is this rediculous dualism, that on every webpage, on every street corner and advertisement, sex is in some way advertised, and folk, myself included, have grown so insensitive other humans that we dont want to know how their actual sexual lives are like, but we put up with these imaginary ones from the media.

Go figure.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 9:12 AM

COPILOT



An I carried such a torch

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 9:17 AM

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE


Sigh, must catch up again:
Hickies: never had one.

Off limits: Anyone that I knew someone close to me really liked, whether I did or not. My ex-best friend did that to me, with the first guy that I really, really liked. I wasn't so much bothered about him, it was just that she was the only person that knew, and she blatantly went behind my back to ask him out. When I found out, she said: "Do you mind?"
I seriously could have killed her then. Where is a passing reaver ship when you need one?

Casual sex: again, never experienced that! I am definately waiting for someone special. I am not wasting my first time on any old random guy.

Eagles may soar, but ferrets don't get sucked into jet engines.
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 9:36 AM

COPILOT


Okay one more question this one for everyone
What is the number of sexual partners at which you decided a person is too experineced (dirty)?
And is the number the same for both males and females?


An I carried such a torch

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 9:40 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Copilot? Honey?
*holds copilot gently by the shoulders*
I want you to listen to me. Please don't take anything I say as condemning or patronizing or anything negative, and don't think that I'm saying you have to take my advice; of course you don't. But I'm speaking as someone who, despite never having met you in the flesh, cares about your well-being in every respect.
OK, first, I am very glad you don't let guilt get to you. This is good.
But I worry about you a little, honey. I'm not sure you do respect yourself as much as you should. I know that you do, just not as much as you maybe should. You need to take care of yourself, you know. The little drug-binge you had a few days ago had us all really worried about you; I was wondering if you would even come back. And I worry that you seem to have some co-dependant tendancies.
I'm glad you love sex, this is also good. But you've said before that you have trouble achieving climax and only have with your FSO. All I'm saying is that there might be a reason for that. You, much like me, might need a real connection to someone before you can really do that. It's something to think about. You obviously know what you get yourself in to having casual sex, and I'm not going to say that's bad, but consider that you might have better sex if it wasn't casual.
Ok? So I'm done now, take it or leave it. It is always your choice.


*edit* no I have never faked.
I think the "too many" line might be somewhere in the range of 20.
And I really need to get some sleep.

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 1:56 PM

DANCINGNEKO


*deep breath here*

Hi, everyone. Posting newbie (yes, delurking, finally) here...Decided that sitting around following the postings isn't enough so...*waves to everyone*

One thing (this is completely from concern -- no judgement nor condemnnations made here): *reaches hand to touch Co-pilot's hand* Sweetie, I agree with PhoenixRose -- there are people here who have never met you in r.l. and are worried about you and what we know about you. (Yes, I include myself, seeing people do activities that seem to be on the self-destruct path is a scary thing.) Pleasureable activities are one thing, binges and extremes are another. Adrenaline "highs," in my expereince are great, but the crashing "lows" are usually beyond painful. Again, this is from my experiences (both direct and from the work I do).

...and to answer your questions (yes, I'm answering it as two questions -- you'll see why in a bit). For adults, I don't think there's such a thing as "too experienced" -- it's a matter of how comfortable you are with the number of partners you have.
As for the "dirty" -- My opinon is that if anyone finds themselves asking this question, it's time to seriously consider taking some time off and focus on satisfying those emotional needs in other ways -- be it doing arts, crafts, exercising, -- something that you can look at and feel even better about yourself for doing.

Sorry for the 'heavy' and slightly long post. I'll be back in a bit to answer some of the other questions later. *waves*

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 2:00 PM

COPILOT


Hi! Yippie new person!

An I carried such a torch

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 2:08 PM

TEACHDAIRE


Quote:

Originally posted by copilot:
Okay one more question this one for everyone
What is the number of sexual partners at which you decided a person is too experineced (dirty)?
And is the number the same for both males and females?


An I carried such a torch




Personally, I don't think it matters. So what if your new squeeze has had none, one or a hundred pervious partners? As long as they're faithfull during your relationship with them, no harm, no foul.

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 2:58 PM

KENOBIUS


Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:
Body as a temple...hmm. I can see that. My body is a temple to Dionysus (or Bacchus, if you prefer).



Haha, I so got that. Sorry, we use to make jokes like that in Mythology class. Very nostalgic.


http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 5:31 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


This is not the post you're looking for.

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 5:31 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


I should expand on my "too many" answer now that I'm up again.
At my age, I think that 20 would be a bit much because it would basically mean there was never devotion in the past. For me that's rather key. Someone who had too many partners would make me wonder if I was another notch.


Hi, Dancingneko! This is for you!



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Sunday, July 16, 2006 9:20 PM

SERYN


I'm not sure about that one, there really is no magic number (apart from 3 of course, but maybe some people want substantially more than that

personally, looking back, i've had to many, id love to set the dial back and erase all but 2 of them (and if that possible, maybe add one that never quite happened ) so i guess its not the number thats acceptable, but the quality of them.

quality over quantity any day.

and Copilot, listen to the dancing guy! (hello DancingEko!) he knows what he it talking about, its time to pause and take stock before you do something that damages you permanently.

ah, its all going to blow up today isn't it? folk back in work n all. oh well, could someone post a summary maybe?

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