A game to pass the time by Harriet Vane

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

A game to pass the time

POSTED BY: HARRIET VANE
UPDATED: Monday, February 3, 2003 18:04
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VIEWED: 1863
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Monday, February 3, 2003 6:04 PM

Hey all, I was really board at work and a friend suggested I cast “Fellowship of the Rings” with Firefly characters. That was really fun, so I kept going. Here are some re-castings, I hope you find them funny. Please, add or modify as you see fit. It’s a great way to waist time.

Lord of the Rings = Firefly
Frodo = River (Cause they both are kinda crazy and pretty tragic)
Aragorn = Mal (Cause they’re both heroes and leaders)
Sam = Simon (Cause they’re both loyal even unto their own demise)
Borimir = Jayne (Cause they both could be traitors, if the gain was sufficient)
Gandolf = Book (Cause they are old and wise)
Merry = Inara (Cause they are both clever and not what you’d expect)
Pippin = Kaylee (Cause they are both sweet and cute and innocent)
Legolas = Zoe (Cause they are both sexy and skilled)
Gimli = Wash (Cause they are both amusing and prideful)

Enterprise = Firefly (maybe then it wouldn’t be so damn boring)
Archer = Mal (Noble captain, meet noble captain)
T’Pol = Zoe (Stoic second in command, meet stoic second in command)
Trip = Wash (Cute funny guy meet cute funny guy)
Hoshi = Kaylee (Sweet, adorable girl meet sweet adorable girl)
Marywether = Simon (nice enough but basically useless member meet nice enough but basically useless member)
Flox = Book (extra character who should just shut up meet extra character who should just shut up)
Malcolm = Jayne (Guy who likes guns meet guy who likes guns)
Poor River and Inara don’t get to be in this show.

Voyager = Firefly (I hate to do this to the crew of Serenity, It’s kinda scary the way the relationships work in a twisted, twisted way)
Janeway = Jayne (Irrational and trigger happy)
Chacotay = Book (Constantly surting wisdom, constantly overlooked)
Tuvok = Zoë (Stoic . . . loyal . . . black . . .)
Nelex = Inara (Who hasn’t thought Nelex was a whore? . . . or do I mean horror? Both work)
Tom = Wash (Goofy pilot)
Harry = Simon (good little boy who always does as he’s told and never gets anything for it)
B’Elanna = Kaylee (sweet, cute, engineer who can lose her temper)
Seven of Nine/Kes = River (both work, oddly . . .)
This show was utterly devoid of a Mal, someone whose nobility of spirit was an inspiration to all . . . probably the reason it sucked.

DS9 = Firefly (the clash of the two Sci-fi shows that weren’t a shame to the genera)
Sisco = Book (utterly convicted and a religious symbol)
Kira = Zoe (Warrior who’s totally able to vamp it up)
Dax (Jadzia) = Inara (Sexy, wise, has the captain in the palm of her hand)
Worf = Jayne (Big lout who ruins sooo much)
O’Brian = Wash (Sweet guy, family man, often tortured)
Bashir = Simon (Stunningly handsome, yet sensitive, doctor)
Garek = Mal (wholeheartedly devoted to a cause, often on the losing side)
Jake = Kaylee (Brilliant, childlike, sweet, always thinking of others)
Dax (Ezri) = River (just a little crazy, loves the doctor)

ST:TNG = Firefly (Damn, this one was really hard)
Picard = Mal (Well, there both captains . . . I guess . . .)
Riker = Wash (sweet guy, only one on the ship who’s ever getting any, more playful than most)
Data = Simon (Really handy to have around, but he’ll never fit in)
Troi = Inara (Dark and mysterious, they can both read men)
Worf = Jayne (again, guy with guns . . . are they all the same?)
Crusher = Book (a painful reminder of everything the captain had, and lost)
Gordi = Kaylee (So very sweet and kind, also, good with the engine)
Yar = Zoe (A girl who loves her guns. Hard as nails with a tender center)
Wesly = River (young, brilliant, on a different plain of conciseness than the rest of the crew)

Star Trek = Firefly (the two most original series meet (get it, it’s a pun!))
Kirk = Mal (Rash, impulsive, sharp as tacks, true men of action)
Spock = Zoe (Cool and calculating right hand man)
McCoy = Book (ever dependable for the dose of good old fashioned common sense)
Chechove = Simon (Cute little boy, perpetually in trouble)
Scotty = Wash (they both work miracles, in their own way . . .)
Uhura = Inara (ambassador? Communications? . . . we all know they’re just there to look pretty in a dress)
Sulu = Jayne (Characters that could be lost and no one on the ship would care, or, possibly, notice)
Rand = Kaylee (Pretty girl who idolized the captain)
Utterly Riverless. Their loss.

Farscape = Firefly (This should be fun . . .)
Criton = Simon (Brilliant, noble, person thrown against their will into a world of madness)
Aron = Mal (brave soldier, dedicated, totally abandoned by that to which they dedicated their lives)
Dargo = Wash (loyal and funny. A good friend to have)
Chiana = Kaylee (Cute kid, loves life)
Zan = Inara (Beautiful, wise, and less strict about clothing than others)
Pilot = Book (Isolated, somewhat, but very wise and always eager to help)
Moia = Zoe (matronly, in a way, dependable to a fault)
Stark = River (Insane, but full of useful knowledge and unexplainable abilities)
Scorpius = Simon (both names start with S. They put people in chairs to do brain scans . . . what do you mean you don’t see it?!)
Krase = Jayne (It’s nice that he’s on our side and all, but I’m not quite sure we want him)

"So if I spell anything wrong kindly have the kindness to overlook it." -- Franny from "Franny and Zooey"

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