If only they'd known - scathing reviews of famous movies by WildHeavenFarm

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If only they'd known - scathing reviews of famous movies

POSTED BY: WILDHEAVENFARM
UPDATED: Friday, October 7, 2005 13:00
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VIEWED: 2019
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Friday, October 7, 2005 8:39 AM

What do movie critics know, anyway? Take some solace from these reviews and try to guess what film it's for:

"Displays no trace of imagination, good taste, or ingenuity...I say it's stinkeroo."

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says New Yorker's Russ Maloney about The Wizard of Oz.

"This is third-rate Hitchcock."

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Esquire's Dwight MacDonald about Psycho.

"As difficult to sit through as a Black Mass sung in Latin."

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LA Herald-Examiner's Michael Sragow about Alien.

"Spielberg may indeed have made the most monumental in movie history."

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John Simon on Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

"If sharks can yawn, that's presumably what this one is doing. It's certainly what I was doing all through this picture."

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New Reuplic's Stanley Kaufman about, obviously, Jaws.

"The film is simply a bore...So save your money."

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New Stateman's Christopher Hitchens' advice to anyone planning to see Raiders of the Lost Ark.

There were lots more in my book, but I grow weary of this transcription just now.

Mary
Always a beast, never a burden.

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Friday, October 7, 2005 9:28 AM

REALLYKAYLEE

thank you: i needed that!

shakespeare: more words than God.

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Friday, October 7, 2005 10:34 AM

GHOLA

If only they'd known what exactly? Did they see the movie, because that's really all they need to know when juding the movie. Just because lots of other people still love those movies doesn't mean that their reviews are wrong it just means they differ from the majority.

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Friday, October 7, 2005 11:05 AM

DONCOAT

Presumably: If only they'd known how popular these movies would become, they wouldn't have said something that makes them look silly in hindsight.

But an honest critic (if there are any) is supposed to be objective (if that's possible) and record his or her impressions faithfully (if they have any ability to express themselves). The worst possible sort of criticism is, "zillions of people are gonna go nuts for this film, therefore I loved it".

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Friday, October 7, 2005 11:06 AM

REALLYKAYLEE

yes. yes. whatever you say.

but come on- to say that Wiz of Oz has no imagination? that's nigh on blasphamy!

shakespeare: more words than God.

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Friday, October 7, 2005 1:00 PM

WILDHEAVENFARM

Quote:
Originally posted by Ghola:
If only they'd known what exactly? Did they see the movie, because that's really all they need to know when juding the movie. Just because lots of other people still love those movies doesn't mean that their reviews are wrong it just means they differ from the majority.

Meh. I stand by my title.

Mary
Always a beast, never a burden.

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