Young Writer in need of feedback (help please?) by SerenityValley

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Young Writer in need of feedback (help please?)

POSTED BY: SERENITYVALLEY
UPDATED: Tuesday, February 17, 2004 13:22
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VIEWED: 2223
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Saturday, February 14, 2004 9:10 AM

Hi guys. I recently finished a novel called "Emerican Adventure." I have only made three passes at it. My goal is to get it published. I would like some feedback from a variety of people so that I can see what sort of audience it captures and to see if I can make it appeal to as many types of people as I can. It doesn't really directly relate to firefly, but you will most likely pick up on several references to FF and other Joss shows.

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, you may read the story and tell me what you think. Depending on your dedication to it, you can just read a bit and give me a little feedback or you can go and correct every single spelling error if you so choose (and of course anything in between). I need to know what parts are unclear or don't make sense. Is the style alright? Is the storyline sensible? Are the characters lovable/hate-able enough? Etc.

You may find the "voice" in this piece to be a bit stranger than a lot of books. This is because I wanted the writing itself to be a little comical even though the story is not a comedy. Therefore, there are some crazy drawn-out metaphors and tangents. This was done on purpose, but if you find that it is too distracting or that the analogies are too excessive, tell me so.

Here is a brief synopsis of the story:
The first half deals with a guy named Emerica who is desperate for adventure. In this story, we follow Emerica through the universe and explore his friendships – even his love – while he tries to learn more about himself, the universe, and his faith.
The second half is more about Emerica and his solitude. It also is mainly about a box that enables him to time travel, but the “bad guys” want the box too, so we follow him as he’s chased through time and space all the while, he is still trying to better understand himself and cope with his despair from his corrupted passion.

If you’d like to read it, post back to me. I even have a webpage that has full descriptions of characters and places and such. I’m not going to attach the story to this post, so you’ll have to let me know and I’ll give you the website and you can access the story from there without having to download it to your hard-drive. Just because you ask me for it, doesn’t mean that you are obligated to read it all. If it gets boring, let me know and I’ll try to work the kinks out.

Thank you so much. I hope to hear from you soon.
--J Leigh

http://www.simple-assault.com/Firefly.htm

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Saturday, February 14, 2004 4:50 PM

SLAYER730

I would love to read it!

***Never judge a book by its movie***

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Sunday, February 15, 2004 10:10 AM

SERENITYVALLEY

Great.
This is the link to the site:
http://www.simple-assault.com/Emericanpage.htm
Just click "read it"
Thanks!
Anyone else who's interested, take a look-see.

http://www.simple-assault.com/Firefly.htm

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Sunday, February 15, 2004 10:26 AM

KANGER33

Posting to let you know that I'll be reading. Life's hectic so I don't know how long it will take me. I'll try to pop in and let you know what my first impressions are. Plot sounds great, so I'm excited!

~Nicole~

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Monday, February 16, 2004 11:46 AM

SERENITYVALLEY

Thanks!

http://www.simple-assault.com/Firefly.htm

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Monday, February 16, 2004 2:07 PM

KALATHENA

My first piece of advice is to get it off your website ASAP. It could greatly damage your chances of a sale. A publisher will very likely consider it "already published" and would have no reason to buy the typical "first North American serial rights" if they are not the first publishers.

It will be slower, but you may want to consider e-mailing chapters to those who request them. That will pose no danger to any rights a publisher would be interested in buying.

There were several editors who were very disappointed that Cassie Claire had posted her now infamous "Very Secret Diaries..." LOTR parody on her website. One editor in particular had said she'd have bought them in a heart-beat if they hadn't been "plastered all over the web". (My apologies, but I do need to keep the name of the editor anonymous. This was from the discussion board of the Science Fiction Writer's of America.)

Next piece of advice: Yes, e-mail them to people who will critique and get input. Input is always a good thing. You have to hear what your potential audience wants to read about.

Third piece: Go to my husband's web-stie at http://www.sff.net/people/spiziks/. Read the sections "How I broke into novels" and "What every beginning writer should know". He's got some great stuff about how to format manuscripts and how to write a cover letter in there.

Fourth: Be patient! The publishing industry moves in geologic time. Nothing EVER gets done quickly. If you submit your novel to a publisher, don't worry if you don't hear back for up to a year.

Good luck!

--Kala

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Tuesday, February 17, 2004 1:17 PM

SERENITYVALLEY

Oh dear. That could cause some problems. Thanks for that. I'll have to do something about that.

Note to self: make first page more stunning.

http://www.simple-assault.com/Firefly.htm

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Tuesday, February 17, 2004 1:22 PM

KALATHENA

It's not a big deal if it's only been up there like a week or so. I just wouldn't leave it up.

When looking for someone to publish, remember that the most important is the "flow chart". The money flows FROM the publisher TOO the author and NEVER the other way around. Anyone who tells you differently is trying to scam you.

Again, good luck!

--Kala

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