The Mood From Hell - Rant here

UPDATED: Thursday, April 27, 2006 18:28
VIEWED: 18137
PAGE 3 of 3

Tuesday, March 28, 2006 12:24 PM


ah, when I say glowing I don't mean Homer-Simpson-runs-the-local-power-plant glowing.

I'm thinking more of a pythonesque halo with a big chuppy hand pointing down from the sky and a booming voice intoning 'Thats the one Helen, get 'im while 'ees fresh' Because if there isn't I can be relied upon to miss him entirely. I'm a bit dim like that (case in point, I met an ex at a college party, he was stood with his friend who was glaring into a pint of orange juice. I ended up going out with the ex, even though initially, his friend was the one I had more in common with. I dunno, I think I was put off by the glaring. So followed three or four months of being teased and sometimes chastised for my tastes and interests, feeling like I wasn't quite good enough, and being ignored enirely in social situations. The only reason I stuck around so long was because I really enjoyed his mate company. If I just gone out with his mate in the first place, its possible we would still be happily together now. As it is, it went pear shaped. Whole different story)

Helen is me by the way. Hi *waves*

yeah, I love all that stuff, I'd still love to go do a masters or whatever in Costume as it relates to social History, or what ever they would call it. The whole socio-political aspect of fashion just fascinates me.

Sadly I have neither the brain capacity nor the money. Ah well.

Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.

KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.


Tuesday, March 28, 2006 2:53 PM


That's the spirit!


Tuesday, March 28, 2006 3:11 PM


Ahhh... Argh, PMS and allergies. My whole body itches. It sucks; I've taken benadryl and haven't slept in two days. I'm exhausted and itching. I lost my secure ID so that I can't get my office email. And I was planning on telecommuting tomorrow.


Tuesday, March 28, 2006 3:20 PM


Goodness Gracious!

An I carried such a torch


Wednesday, March 29, 2006 5:05 PM


Why do guys have to be so cryptic? I just had a 1/2 hour conversation with 2 friends saying i shouldn't marry my boyfriend. They saythat I have just as much say in when I get married as he does. But how does that work!?! I'm not gunna ask him, i thought my part was in saying yes.Grrr.............. HELP!!!!!!!!!!


Wednesday, March 29, 2006 7:47 PM

ORPHEUS goes....

My roommate bugs the ever-lovin' out of me. All he does is play World of Warcraft, taking very little time to do anything else with himself, and yet all our friends think he's the cat's pajamas.

It scares me that we're roomming together for two more years. At least there'll be two more people to even him out.

::Steps down off his soapbox::

I still seethe with generic rage.....Maybe some sleep will help.

"Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?"


Thursday, March 30, 2006 4:05 AM



Originally posted by RiverTam21:
Why do guys have to be so cryptic? I just had a 1/2 hour conversation with 2 friends saying i shouldn't marry my boyfriend. They saythat I have just as much say in when I get married as he does. But how does that work!?! I'm not gunna ask him, i thought my part was in saying yes.Grrr.............. HELP!!!!!!!!!!

Traditionally, yes, the male does the asking...but you get to set the date. If/when he does ask (or has he already?) pick a date that works with your life plan. There is nothing wrong with long engagements, they can help avoid messy divorces. It's a variation of the saying "If he's the right one he'll wait for you."

Also, you didn't put in why your friends don't want you to marry the b-friend. Consider carefully what they said. People on the outside looking in can have a clearer picture of the reality than those involved in the situation. Make up your own mind, but make an informed decision.

Hell. It's Special.


Wednesday, April 26, 2006 7:05 PM


I just had to revive the thread. I'll be quick.

1. I have a migraine.
2. I just realized I scheduled a root canal for 3 hours before my Vietnamese final and I can't change either one of them.
3. My one roommate is still being annoying. It's MY birthday and we're having a Happy Birthday/Yay school's done party and SHE'S JUST GOING TO HAVE TO F***CKING DEAL WITH IT!!!!


Thursday, April 27, 2006 2:06 PM


I am in one of my phases of feeling like a monumental screw-up. Certain particularly prominent situations are outlined below.

I graduated four years ago and only just started earning the average graduate STARTING salary, and that was by blundering into a graphics job by mistake. I live in the world's second most expensive city. Not good. Especially not good is having no permanent home because buying is completely out of my reach, when I kind of need a sense of being settled to avoid anxiety problems.

I really ought to get a job with better prospects, probably a traineeship in a financial institution, but the problem with that is.... ah, yes; the book.

I'm a part-time novelist. I have been for well over half my life now. It would be daft of me to claim it's the only thing I enjoy doing when I'm currently posting on a board celebrating how much we all like a certain TV show/film, but writing is so far out in front of everything else that it seems like the only thing that's there a lot of the time, even when I'm blocked so badly on a plot point that I want to break my pen in half and throw the characters out of the window.

In the month before I started working I wrote 45,000 words. In the three and a half years since then - that's thirty months - I've written 300,000 words. That's quarter of the same level of output. It's all very well saying quantity is not quality, but if I can't get to the end of the book I want to send for publication first, I can't send anything for publication. End, literally, of story. And the thing is that I know I'm doing way better on the writing front in the working tier I am in than I would if I were training as a graduate manager or an accountant or something.

As my overall career plan includes finishing the book, I need to finish the book. I'm currently writing at the pace of a snail that is running away from a French restaurant. (I'm allowed to insult the French; I'm English and it's our national character.) Quit work? Can't. My savings would last for about two months and to get benefits I need to be made redundant - you can't if you just decide to leave your job. So the savings are all there is. That was the one bad side of London getting the Olympics; there's less funding for arts projects, including grants for penniless authors' living costs, so subsequently far less chance I could get one.

I'm therefore significantly stuck. I can't move up, down or sideways, and nothing can convince me that I couldn't if I wanted to. Because there is that 45K monthly total hanging over me, and I keep saying to myself that if I didn't bother doing minor things like eating and sleeping, I could get it finished in no time. Do I see a manic phase coming up? Do I bollocks. If I only got one of those I'd need four hours' sleep a night instead of eight and I could do something productive with the rest, but noooo......

And, yep, there's the extremely upsetting milestone of my twenty-sixth birthday coming up in a fortnight or so. I feel old, not twenties-old but forties-old. I haven't been able to think as quickly or creatively for years as I used to when I was 19-22, and the thought that that might never come round again frightens me, if only because my brainpower's always been the only thing I've had going for me. Also distinctly worrying, BTW, is the fact that I don't have a boyfriend, have never had one and don't see any way I'm going to get one, as I haven't the first clue how.

Seryn, I've heard that one thing to add to the list of problems with society's body shape image that Shepard mentioned regarding 20s flappers is the relative positions of women in society at the time when larger or smaller figures were in vogue. The modern woman, like the 1920s woman, is supposed to be closer in terms of political equality to men than at times past, so the fashionistas (consciously or not) doll women up to resemble men. The contrast is with the 1950s when women were encouraged into traditionally feminine roles so a) men could return to their jobs that women had taken up during WWII, and b) they could start to have stacks of babies to replenish all the dead. Larger figures were more the fashion then.

I'm not fat as such, but I'm not thin either. Weight is something I don't worry about - when I was 21 I weighed something like 145 pounds and was a size 10 UK (8 USA) - but I worry about my waistline. This used to be in terms of the fact that I'm hardly doing any exercise (and am feeling far the worse for it) when I used to be a serious sports freak, but since I've got older I've started feeling exponentially more bothered about my attractiveness to men. I know of only one man who's found me attractive, and he was a stalker-type whom I ran away from quite quickly. I've known more women who find me attractive, and believe me I've wished to God I wasn't heterosexual.

It makes it worse to know I'm daft as anything for worrying. I'm the kind of person who shuffles away guiltily during the debates about body image and facial attractiveness and such, not because I think it shouldn't matter but because I wish it didn't, to me, because it's completely illogical (as Seryn so eloquently argued). I feel invisible to people, even when they're looking straight at me, because they're not seeing something that society's decided they want to see. I am big-boned and sallow-skinned with freckles everywhere, I look frumpy even in a ball gown and could make any suit look like something you'd wear down the pub, and even a professional hair stylist gave up when trying to tackle my flyaway stuff. And my nose is lop-sided.

I doubt most men want a cyclothemic girlfriend anyhow. I know most bosses don't want a cyclothemic employee; I've been denied promotions before now because I casually mentioned it, and my current one thinks I'm a headcase and a liability because of it. (The former is true, the latter is not.) I therefore feel like I'm putting on a mask every time I leave the house, and when it holds, I'm always worrying what the reaction's going to be when it breaks.

Not that it often gets the opportunity to hold... I don't do activities, I don't go out on Friday nights, I don't meet people, and I wouldn't know how to talk to them if I did. I've always been hopeless at talking about nothing, and I'm increasingly unwilling to suggest talking about specific things unless I'm already pretty sure the other person's going to be able to talk back about them, so that's me stuck again.

And I started replying to this thread and leant on my PC's power button, thereby losing ten minutes' worth of typing... how's that?

Creative Writing


Thursday, April 27, 2006 6:28 PM


Ahhhhh....thank you! Let's see here.... My lizard has metabolic bone disease and I have to orally medicate him every day for three weeks. 2 days ago he bit off the tip of the syringe and now I have to wait for him to pooh and then look through it to find the plastic piece. If he doesn't pooh, surgery.
I have no job right now because I quit to destressify, and the vet bills are stacking up. Every week since I quit my job, something has gone wrong. Car broke, rent was raised $200 dollars, the lizard thing.
Now I have to move. Woohoo packing! And I got alot of crap.
Having my third lapse into anorexia which is usually brought on by depression. I am so angry with me right now!!!! Also on that note, because all this is on my mind, I allowed myself to become negative on some posts here earlier and am mad at myself for that, too. Bad me! Apologizes to anyone if my comments were too harsh.
Have a crazy sleeping pattern of up 24 hours sleep 5, repeat. Insomnia sucks. Screw you Insomnia!
I quit my job because one of the DR's at my old vet clinic flamed me in a meeting in from of all my coworkers, and she was totally out of line. She said I was rude to, and ignored, a client that came in for a euthanasia. Make sense? Thing is, I was told i was too cheery when euths came in by the owner, so I toned it down. If I ignored the customer, how did i end up with her dog's leash in my hand putting it in the kennel? Another point, I would NEVER, EVER be rude to any customer, let alone one who is putting an animal down. It was a total fabrication that came out of nowhere, and that DR and I were friends up until then. Ruined it. Stupid Dr. Not all Dr's are smart like Simon. She did apologize and say she was out of line later (after the owner and primary vet)chewed her out. I quit anyway, damage was done.
And I burnt my care bear pajama pants
God, that all really needed to come out.
Long let out breath.....stretches.....rubs tummy






What happened to music?
Tue, May 21, 2024 16:56 - 63 posts
Canada Getting It's 1st Total Solar Eclipse In 40 Years
Mon, April 8, 2024 13:58 - 3 posts
Real or Legend, What's Your Favorite Cryptid?
Mon, April 1, 2024 04:28 - 97 posts
Greatest SF novel of all time? And why?
Sun, March 31, 2024 14:23 - 71 posts
What Song Are You Listening To, California Dreamin'
Thu, February 29, 2024 07:48 - 148 posts
S.I. go Bye Bye?
Tue, January 23, 2024 14:29 - 13 posts
EMMYS ratings tank
Sun, January 21, 2024 02:21 - 9 posts
ESPN stole Emmys for 13 years
Tue, January 16, 2024 21:01 - 4 posts
Your essential top ten music albums.
Fri, January 12, 2024 12:45 - 31 posts
Fukushima Nuclear Reactor Status
Tue, September 12, 2023 09:30 - 128 posts
Wed, August 23, 2023 13:07 - 7 posts
Special Branch XIII: Soulless
Mon, August 21, 2023 16:59 - 30 posts