Workplace Vocabulary by Niki2

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Workplace Vocabulary

POSTED BY: NIKI2
UPDATED: Sunday, August 30, 2009 22:25
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Wednesday, August 26, 2009 9:15 AM

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

10. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

11. SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

12. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the hell out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located."

16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

18. WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks

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Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009 9:23 AM

UNABASHEDVIXEN

I'm a big fan of Percussive Maintenance, myself

Thanks for the giggle!

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People before profits

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009 9:26 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Me, too...especially since (as posted elsewhere) my TV/DVD player "ate" the fist disc of Chuck. Will definitely be doing some percussive maintenance this afternoon....grrrr argh!!

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009 9:35 AM

UNABASHEDVIXEN

Oh! That's a tragedy. I take Chuck very seriously. Let me know what you think, once you carry out your maintenance!

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009 10:14 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Oh, I got to see the first few epis and am definitely going to see more! It's just that it won't give up the disc, and since it's Netflix, I need to get it out!

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Sunday, August 30, 2009 10:25 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Quote:
Originally posted by Niki2:
Oh, I got to see the first few epis and am definitely going to see more! It's just that it won't give up the disc, and since it's Netflix, I need to get it out!

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Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

Did you try unpluggin the player from the wall for 10 minutes? Then plug in and try again.

DVD and CD players can be very suseptable to percussive damage - the multiple suspension systems in them have limits.

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