BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR

2X2

Brand of Choice
Thursday, April 20, 2006

Jayne reconsiders his brand of choice.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2460    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Written for ff_friday challenge 116 – Blue Sun Rating: PG-13 I guess Spoilers: Series, but nothing really. Word Count: 294 A/N: Sometimes I wonder at myself and where these ideas come from.

Brand of Choice By 2x2

Jayne stared at the little yellow box in trepidation, a frown of concentration on his brow as he read the description on the side, comparing it to the blue box he normally bought.

He’d always been a Blue Sun man. Years of reliable service, comfortable fit and availability had sold him on the brand. He knew what he was getting when he used Blue Sun’s. But now… Well, certain events had made him a bit uncomfortable about wearing Blue Sun’s.

He looked at the various packages again, nearly overwhelmed by the variety of sizes, colours and options the other brands offered. He picked up a bright green box and squinted at the letters. “Rough Rider,” he read aloud and grinned as he picked up a couple more. ‘True Fit’, ‘Studded’ and ‘Naturalamb’ winked at him in flashy colours. He scratched his head, wondering how he was going to decide, when a red and gold box caught his attention and he reached for it almost reverently. He found the warm tones reminded him of Inara, and his grin took on a different curl.

“Intergalactic. The brand of choice for the discriminatin’ star-farer. Ultra sensitive, clitor—clitoral stim-u-latin’, vibra-ribbed,” he read stiltedly. “Huh.” Well, the moonbrain had said he looked better in red, and since she was the reason he was foregoing his regular Blue Sun’s in the first place, it only made sense really.

Cuttin’ on his favourite t-shirt was one thing - never could tell when Crazy might go off - but he sure as hell wasn’t going to risk his John Thomas over a gorram brand of condoms.

He put the box of Blue Sun’s back on the shelf and headed for the register. From now on, he’d be an Intergalactic prophylactic man.

COMMENTS

Thursday, April 20, 2006 11:35 AM

TAYEATRA


Your mind goes off on wierd tangents sometimes. Quite funny!

Thursday, April 20, 2006 11:36 AM

SILLYLITTLEDUCK


I honestly almost fell of my chair when i realized he was buying condoms. Didn't ever think about future safe sex. "intergalactic prophylactic" that's classic.

Thursday, April 20, 2006 11:37 AM

BSCPANTHERFAN


First post! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

ROFLMAO! Great mental image with River and a knife running after a naked Jayne through the dining hall screaming, "No more Blue Sun! I told you you look better in red!"

Thursday, April 20, 2006 11:38 AM

BSCPANTHERFAN


#@!*&#@ I took too long typing!

Thursday, April 20, 2006 11:56 AM

SQUISH


OMG that was funny! I don't even have words! "Wasn't going to risk his John Thomas..." bwahhhh!

Thursday, April 20, 2006 12:02 PM

LEIASKY


ROTFL! Oh god was that was excellent! Your mind goes in some lovely places :)

Thursday, April 20, 2006 12:04 PM

ANONYMOUS


Intergalactic prophylactic, isn,t that a song by the Beastie Boys?

Thursday, April 20, 2006 12:16 PM

JAILBIRD


That was me and yes I'am new.

Thursday, April 20, 2006 1:14 PM

ZISKER


*ROFLMAO*

I love your work, please keep it coming

Thursday, April 20, 2006 2:44 PM

ALLIETHORN7


OMG!!!! That was f-in' hi-larious, 2x2!!! I never even thought on that!!! A =nd, yes, the mind works in some freaky ways

Thursday, April 20, 2006 3:11 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


ROFL....at least you have thought about this, 2x2. Most Rayne fics have the two of them going at it like bunnies without much (if any) thought about protection;)

Still...Intergalactic prophylactics? Can just imagine the Beastie Boys being used for that commerical;)

BEB

Thursday, April 20, 2006 5:01 PM

SWEETSERENDIPITY


*snort* Way too funny!

Thursday, April 20, 2006 6:43 PM

ANONYMOUS


Nice.

Everyone thinks that Jayne is sort of slow, but I guess when it comes to potentially endangering is pecker, he can certainly connect the dots.

Very funny. Please, keep 'em coming.

Thursday, April 20, 2006 8:18 PM

WASHBURNEFAN


Oh that's too much. I'm laughing so hard right now, "You look better in red!" Intergalactic prophylactic, never could've come up with that on my own. Genius!

Thursday, April 20, 2006 8:34 PM

AMDOBELL


Very funny and it works so well though I hadn't thought of Jayne being that organised in getting sexed, he always seemed like a spur of the moment guy. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Thursday, April 20, 2006 8:38 PM

ANONYMOUS


ahaha!

Friday, April 21, 2006 2:23 AM

REENIE


That was great! I can picture it.

Friday, April 21, 2006 6:00 AM

OKAMI


Outstanding! Jayne has his priorities straight...protect the goods. Funny as hell.

Friday, April 21, 2006 2:22 PM

WILLIAMJAMESW


Oh, man; Jayne reading the package was just too funny. Sounding out the big words.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 12:47 PM

CHESHIRE


Hmm. I just read this a second time, and I'm starting to wonder why Jayne believes he might be:
1) Naked (or at least his John Thomas vulnerable to peril)
2) Ruttin' with a condom
3) Around River

all at the same time. Sure, River could pick the knowledge of Jayne's brand from his mind, but I like to think that there may be more to "since she was the reason..." then there first appears to be. ^_^

Great story, great characterization. Keep up the good work!

Thursday, June 29, 2006 7:20 AM

BELLONA


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

b

ps. BWAH!!


POST YOUR COMMENTS

You must log in to post comments.

YOUR OPTIONS

OTHER FANFICS BY AUTHOR


OUR SPONSORS