It had been a week since Simon had found out River had chosen Jayne as her lover. He was still found it very disturbing that when he asked members of the crew where River was, they all automatically told him to ask Jayne.

Today he just went toward the crew dorms, noting with a mild disdain that Jayne was already coming out of his bunk.

"Is she..?" Simon kept his fisted hands at his sides, using all his will not to punch Jayne.

"She's sleepin' doc." Jayne's head nodded toward his now closed door, making Simon grit his teeth to keep from shuddering. Unfortunately, the implication as to why she was sleeping was horrifyingly obvious.

Simon just nodded and turned away to leave. Jayne called for him to come back. He faced the man-ape again, his jaw set so tight he thought it might lock.

"Look, doc, I know this ain't exactly somethin' you can be happy about." Jayne stuffed his hands in his back pockets, not knowing what else to do with them. "But I do care for River and I ain't gonna hurt her none."

Simon nodded again, his lips pressed tightly together. It didn't matter if Jayne meant what he said, or that River was a reader and had said the same. Simon still didn't like the idea of Jayne being with her, and would always be afraid River would be hurt in the end.

"I know ya don't believe me." Jayne spoke as though he could read thoughts himself. "And ya don't believe River neither. But I hope in the long run, I can prove myself. I ain't lettin' her go on account of you, doc. Ain't lettin' go of her at all."

Simon just sighed in resignation. "I know there's nothing I can do to change her mind. I just want her happy. And I swear if you make her anything but--"

"If I hurt her even the slightest, I'll let ya borrow Vera so's you can shoot me in the balls." He looked Simon squarely in the eye. "You raised River right, doc. She's a fine girl."

"Thank you." Simon's voice was meek. He turned away and walked in search of Kaylee, leaving Jayne to shake his head and decide he wanted to go back to bed with River.

*****

Simon found Kaylee in the common room, talking with Inara on the couch. He heard Inara mention Mal's name, then Kaylee's happy squeal dissolve in a fit of giggles. He turned the corner came in and Kaylee jumped up with a smile on her face.

"Oh, Sweetie!" She wrapped her arms around Simon and kissed him soundly. "I missed ya! Where ya been?"

"Looking for River. She's... " Simon grimaced. "Sleeping."

Kaylee's nose wrinkled slightly. "In Jayne's bunk?"

Simon nodded and collapsed into one of the chairs near the couch.

"Aww, honey." Kaylee sat on the arm of the chair, running her fingers through his hair. "Anything I can do to make ya feel better?"

"Nothing short of convincing River Jayne's a man-ape-gone-wrong-thing."

Kaylee giggled at the memory of Simon saying that back in Canton, and kissed his forehead.

Inara just put her hand lightly on his shoulder. "I'm sorry this is so hard on you, Simon. River had told me she liked him after we started talking a little before her birthday, and she'd made me swear to keep her secret." She lifted his chin lightly so that he looked at her. "If it's any consolation, honey, she's extremely happy."

"I know she is. I just don't understand how she can be happy with him." Simon practically spit out the last word, a memory of Jayne coming to his mind.

----- It was Simon's first day aboard Serenity, and the crew, along with Shepherd Book and the Dobson were sitting at the table. Simon and Kaylee were talking among themselves about Simon's days on Osiris.

"Being a doctor, helpin' fix people, that's important." Kaylee smiled widely at Simon, and although he'd just met her, he found it hard not to grin back like a lovesick school boy.

Jayne glowered over at them, his mouth stuffed with food. "She just wishes you was a gynecologist." He laughed at his own joke, making Simon extremely uncomfortable around him.

"Jayne, you'll keep a civil tongue in that mouth or I will sew it shut, dong ma?

Jayne scoffed. "You don't pay me to talk pretty. It ain't my fault lil Kaylee get's all lubed up over some big city dandy."

Kaylee was visibly embarrassed, to the point where she was holding back tears.

Mal looked angrily at Jayne. "Walk away from this table. Right now."

He sneered and grabbed another large helping of food before clomping off to his bunk.

----- Simon shook the unsettling image from his mind. "I really hate Jayne. I can't imagine him being with River."

"Well honey, the good thing is ya ain't bein' forced to like him." Kaylee smiled weakly. Simon chucked a bit.

"No, but I am being forced to be okay enough not to hate him."

Kaylee pulled Simon up from his seat and gave Inara a look that basically said "Gotta tend to my man!" and led him to their bunk.

Once there, Kaylee shut and locked the door and sat Simon down on the bed. She stood between his legs and smiled down at him, running her fingers through his hair. He opened his mouth to say something but she placed a finger over his lips.

"Simon, I know Jayne's the last person that you'd ever wanna associate with the words, "River's boyfriend", but hon, ya gotta let it slide." Simon groaned slightly and Kaylee just pulled his face back up to look at hers. "She loves him, honey, and there ain't no power in the 'Verse stronger than love."

Simon wrapped his arms around Kaylee's waist and tugged her closer to him. "I suppose you're right. Love brought me to you." He smiled gently, trying to let himself realize that love also brought River here too.

Kaylee nodded and gave his nose a nudge with her own. Simon just sighed happily at the contact and leaned forward to kiss her. Kaylee moaned softly against his swai lips and wrapped her arms around his neck. The kiss deepened for a few moments before Simon broke it off gently to look into Kaylee's shining eyes.

"Make love to me, baobei?" His own eyes were darkened with desire, and he held Kaylee tighter. She just smiled and nodded, putting her hands on his shoulders to push him gently back down on the bed.

Kaylee removed Simon's fancy shoes and went to his pants, unbuttoning the three silver buttons at each ankle. Her hands slid up his legs, massaging gently at his inner thighs before finding the fastenings at his waist.

Simon just watched with a smile on his face as Kaylee undid each button, his breath catching as she looked at him seductively before sliding the material of his pants down his legs, and over his feet. She crawled up his body and urged him to sit up, then pulled the thick, warm sweater over his head, noting pleasantly that he had nothing underneath said sweater.

She laid Simon back down and kissed him deeply, her warm hands trailing across his bare torso. Simon moaned softly into Kaylee's mouth, groaning a little as her mouth trailed down to his throat, her fingers delicately brushing against the dip in his hips.

Kaylee's mouth trailed lower, her tongue dipping into the hollow between Simon's collarbones, then lower, flicking each of his nipples. Her fingers slipped down to his inner thighs, purposely missing his straining erection. She looked up at Simon, smiling at the way he was breathing raggedly, his eyes rolling back at the sensations and at the way Kaylee was looking at him.

Kaylee resumed her work, her lips ghosting lower, toward his well muscled stomach, her teeth nipping the tight flesh there gently. Simon gasped Kaylee's name, his back arching as one nip of her teeth landed where the thin trail of hair led to the denser flurry of coarse hair above his aching length.

She giggled slightly and stood up, making sure he watched her as she lifted her shirt slowly over her torso, turning around before her breasts were exposed. She tossed the fabric aside, then let her hands slide over her bare skin to reach her pants, undoing them painfully slow before letting them slide down her legs. She kicked them away and turned around, a thin scrap of floral fabric barely covering her nethers.

Simon groaned at the sight, his eyes taking in every inch of beautiful skin as Kaylee walked forward and dropped to her knees, her hands moving up his legs once more. This time one of her hands met its goal, wrapping around Simon's hardened erection, making him exhale loudly. Kaylee gently stroked the length of him, enjoying every sound that escaped his lips.

"Baobei... Kaylee... I can't..." Simon didn't know how to tell her he couldn't take anymore, that he needed to be inside her. She seemed to get the hint as she used her thumb to press his weeping cock against his stomach, the flat of her tongue trailing roughly over the underside.

Simon let a choked off cry escape his lips, barely recovering by the time Kaylee had climbed up his body and positioned her wet folds over him. He grabbed her hips tightly, his fingers almost bruising the skin as she lowered herself on him gently, sighing and gasping as he filled her inch by inch. Simon bucked his hips up a few times, making Kaylee lean forward, taking his hands and holding them above his head.

"Makin' love, remember Simon?" She grinned as he moaned; trying to thrust his hips upward in the awkward position they were in. "Lemmie do the work, honey." She started moving slowly, her hands still pinning his arms.

Simon just groaned, his eyes fluttering closed, his teeth gritting as he tried not to move with Kaylee. She just kept smiling, small moans escaping her lips occasionally as she continued her slow, almost unnoticed movements, her hips rolling repeatedly. Sometimes she couldn't control a thrust or two as the pleasure built within her, making Simon gasp, then shudder as she returned to her gentle churning.

Slowly Kaylee started moving her hips a little quicker, wanting to watch the pleasure pass over Simon's face when she gave him his release. He moaned her name softly and somehow managed to buck under her a few times again, the pleasure building in the pit of his stomach. Kaylee leaned down lower and whispered in his ear.

"Come for me, sweetie..." Her movements sped up a little more as she tightened her inner walls around Simon. His eyes closed tightly, her words, the feel of her breath tickling hotly at his neck, and the way she was gripped around him pulling him over the edge. He bucked sharply again, calling out her name as he let out hot bursts of his release deep inside of her.

Kaylee moaned loudly at the feeling of Simon climaxing within her. The way his length pulsed and the feel of his hot seed flooding her making her shiver with pleasure.

Simon noticed Kaylee's grip on his wrists loosening, and reached a hand to her clit, grazing over it repeatedly with the pads of his fingers. Kaylee shouted and moved more quickly, making Simon groan as his orgasm was prolonged. She tensed, her body arching as her own release came over her.

Kaylee stopped moving and lay down on Simon's chest, both of them left panting. Simon chuckled a bit and looked over at Kaylee.

"Promise to do this every time I get upset about Jayne?"

"Sure!" Kaylee nodded enthusiastically, her smile widening.

"Then I think I can deal with it."

*****

River woke suddenly. She rolled over at saw Jayne laying next to her, naked, his face turned toward her. She giggled quietly and nuzzled into him, a groan escaping his half open mouth as he snaked a hand around her waist. She lay there and stared at him, noting how he looked much less like the hardened mercenary he claimed to be, considerably more like an innocent man who just forgot to shave for the last couple days.

River leaned in and very gently kissed the tip of his nose, making Jayne sniffle a bit and wrinkle it gently as though he had an itch. Another quiet giggle bubbled from River's lips, and suddenly one of Jayne's eyes shot open.

"Gorrammit, lemmie sleep..." River just bit her lip to keep from giggling and kissed his nose again. Jayne growled and pulled her to him hard, making her gasp, holding back a moan of pleasure.

"Now, didn't I just tell ya to stop that nonsense so's I can sleep?" River just ground herself against his already painfully hard erection and kissed his nose once more.

Jayne fought the urge to groan as she moved over his cock, growling once more as she kissed his nose. In one simple movement he thrust up and into River, making her scream. She looked down at him, panting, her already dark eyes almost black with passion. Jayne's roughened fingers slipped into her long hair.

"You're playin' with fire, girl." His lips crashed over River's as they both started moving in time. She moaned loudly, the pain of his teeth biting at her lips made the pleasure all the more exquisite for her.

Their pace was rough and quick, both their movements forcing an orgasm from the other's body. River moved faster over Jayne, crying out with each violent thrust. Jayne grunted back in kind, his hands moving to River's hips to give each motion more power.

River arched her body, her head thrown back as she came, yelling out as stars burst behind her eyes.

"Aww... Fuck!" The sight of River and the pleasurable pain of how tight she gripped his length pulled him over the edge. He jerked up into her a few times, spilling his release into her.

As they came down from their ecstasy, panting hard, they suddenly heard a loud banging at the door of Jayne's bunk.

"Gorrammit, Jayne! I swear when we hit Ita Moon, you're lookin for sound-proofin' for this ruttin' room! Keep it the hell down!"

Mal walked away shaking his head. As he walked down toward the common room, he suddenly heard Kaylee's loud cry.

"You have got to be kiddin' me!" Mal muttered to himself and marched down to Simon and Kaylee's bunk, banging on their door also.

"Damnit, I just got done hearin' my pilot gettin' bedded, I am in no mood to be hearin' my mechanic get sexed too!"

"Oh, God, Mal! I don't need to know about my sister doing that!" Mal could hear Simon panting hard and Kaylee trying not to moan.

"Neither do I, Doc, so keep it down and you won't have to hear about it."

"Cap'n, you don't walk away from this door I'm gonna stuff a compression coil up your pi gu! Sideways!" Mal vaguely heard Simon chuckle after Kaylee's little comment.

He suddenly looked disgusted as he heard moans coming from behind the door again, the mood obviously not ruined. He shuddered and walked away quickly, accidentally running into Inara.

"Mal!... I, uhm... Hello." She couldn't think of anything less pathetic to say as the image of him laying over her, his body working within hers, bubbled up in her mind. It had been a week since Mal had spent that night in her shuttle, drowning out the sounds of Kaylee and River with the more pleasant sounds of Inara's pleasure.

Mal smirked at Inara, her knees going weak. "There just ain't no peace n' quiet in this gorram ship. Looks like I may have to borrow your shuttle again tonight."

Inara's eyes grew wide, a sudden flood rushing between her legs. Her eyes turned sharply at him as she regained her focus.

"Mal, you can't just coerce me into letting you sleep with me simply because you claim you don't want to hear your crew having sex."

Mal just brushed a small tendril of hair out of her face and smiled at her. "Well, how 'bout cause I like ya?" He leaned in closer, whispering hotly into her ear "And maybe cause you feel real good lyin' under me."

Inara couldn't stop the small moan that escaped her mouth. She suddenly had to place her hands on Mal to keep from falling forward. She licked her dry lips and looked into Mal's darkened eyes.

"Uhm... now would... they're very loud..." Mal's cocksure grin grew tenfold as he wrapped his arm around Inara's waist and led her to the shuttle.

*****

Zoe went to her bunk wearily, trying to ignore the various moans, groans, and curses coming from, seemingly, every corner of the ship.

She removed her clothing, slipping on one of Wash's old Hawaiian shirts, inhaling the scent deeply. She lay down in bed and went into a small drawer nearby, grabbing something and looking at it with a cheeky grin.

"Thank you, Wash. We made this just in time." In her hands was a dildo, one that Wash had molded from his own cock as a gag gift for her birthday a few months before he died. She snickered gently at the memory of him first using it among his dinosaurs like a scenery prop, then turning to Zoe and laying her down on the bed, sliding it inside her to prepare her for the real thing.

She lay back against the pillows and closed her eyes, hearing Wash's voice.

"And now, the prehistoric penis tree jumps forward into the future, preparing the Amazonian Beauty for birthday sex!" ~*~*~*~*~*~