Mal had never actually seen a sword fight before. Sure, he'd seen the holos of them, but they were just actors. And, yes, he had been thrown into the deep one with Ath, and, yes, he'd been stabbed a few times with one. But he had never seen a real live sword fight before. Which was why he watched, in morbid fascination, as the operative named Sampson and the ex-operative named Abulurd fought. They parryed, thrust, stabbed, riptosed, and a whole lot a things Mal didn't know what were called, nor did he care all that much. Kinder to shoot a man. Easier, too, and cleaner. The other man, Sampson, fought with more strength than finess, which was a bit of a stereotype, truth be told. Abulurd (Abulurd? That was the most stupid name that Mal had ever heard, 'sides Hoban) used the same style as when he had run Mal through back on Mr. Universes moon. But, besides being strong, Sampson also had more smarts than honor, which was why his dirty lil' trick worked so well. He swung low, straight at Abulards leg, which he blocked. Then, Sampson punched him in the face with his left hand. Abulurd staggered back, and didn't see Sampsons swing. It caught him in the wrist of his sword hand, leaving a line of blood, the cut deep enough to reach the bone. This was made more alarming by the fact that blood started to gush from the wound, soaking Abulurds fabric as he tried to quench the flow of his blood. *** It took eleven days to reach Ptah. Not to say that it was really boring, though. Simon and Kaylee kept sneaking off to get into all kinds of naughtiness, going anywhere in all hours of the day. And Jayne was forced to walk bow-legged for ten of the eleven days, which was all kinds a' amusin'. But what made it downright hilarious was his crotch splinters. Yep, shards from the table had entered his pants and into his rather sensitive thighs, and damn near his nethers. Day after his massive hangover (sixteen beers in all), he wakes up, not feelin' no headache or nothin', and then starts hollerin' that the gorram hwoon danh doc has gone and castrated him, yellin' like a million an' one demons from hell. And all of them were rollin' around on the floor, 'ceptin' for Jayne and Simon, though, the former because of the injuries to his self and dignity, and the latter because he had to look at Jaynes balls to make sure that they weren't...breached. It was still damn funny, though. Ptah, as it turned out, was a mining moon, cranking out lots and lots of...pig iron. Most of them sat in the dining hall, eating before they made landfall in a few hours. River kept muttering to herself about some 'old friend'. Mal and Inara ate in the usual stony silence, casting glances at one another. Zoe an' Jayne ate stoicly, neither much in a mood for talkin'. Kaylee an' Simon were out...somewhere. Suddenly, River gasped out, sitting rigid in her chair. She arched her back, starting to pant and sweat. She lurced upward onto the table, scattering dishes all over. She tore wildly at her clothes, panting lustfully, "Oh, god, Simon please, more, now! Tianna, in me now, god more, more, more!Yes, YES! More, oh god, more..." She looked lustfully at the ceiling, still talking in a rather Kaylee-ish voice. Mal leapt up. "Gorramit, help me hold her down! 'Nara, find that blasted couple, get'em to stop, now!" Inara rushed off, while Zoe grabbed Rivers legs. Jayne and Mal each took an arm, making sure she couldn't strip any more. Eventually, she calmed down, her breathing returned to normal. "River, honey, you allright?" asked Zoe guardedly. "I'm fine, I-" River started to sob. "I couldn't keep her out! I got distracted, and...and...god, please dont make me sleep!" Mal placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "S'alright, it weren't no fault of yours. However, I am of a mind to hurt your brother for this. Ah, and here he is." Simon rushed into the room, hair dishevelled and clothes askew, Kaylee and Inara following him in. "My god, what did you do to her?" he asked upon seeing her clothes all torn." "The question is, doc, is what did you an' Kaylee do to her?"

TO BE CONTINUED...