BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR

SUCCATASH

Sarahetc Stories: Episode 6
Thursday, February 20, 2003

Sarahetc's adventure continues!


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3968    RATING: 10    SERIES: FIREFLY

With a weary moan, she rose unsteadily and turned to face the frenzied office mob. They approached, jabbering excitedly and hungry for blood. Sarahetc bowed her head in surrender and waited for her inevitable death.

Take his gun. The old man has a gun in his jacket.

The voice spoke loudly in her mind, shattering the temptation to surrender. Sarahetc knelt and began frantically searching the various pockets of the old man’s blazer. Gross! My vomit is all over this thing! The mob was almost upon her, only footsteps away. At last, Sarahetc’s fingers touched cold steel, and her hand closed around the pistol. She drew the weapon and fired into the crowd without taking aim.

CRACK!

With a sickening bang, a head exploded right in front of her. Brains splattered everywhere, and the headless body fell stiffly into the crowd.

Sarahetc was knocked backwards by the force of the explosion. The gun was slippery with blood and vomit, but she managed to keep hold of the weapon. She recovered hastily and prepared for the attack, but the office mob had come to a wary halt. They stood nervously, wild eyed, forming a half-circle around her. Some looked doubtfully at the pistol in her hand.

Sarahetc struggled to catch her breath. “Anyone moves, and I shoot,” she said quietly. Her eyes were confident, though she fought to keep the gun steady.

“Say, how many bullets you got in that thing?” someone called.

“Yeah, I bet she’s out of bullets!” cried another voice. “Let’s get her!”

“You go first!” someone chimed in. “Then we’ll rush her!”

The crowd chuckled nervously, but no one moved. Their thirst for blood was tempered by cowardly fear.

Sarahetc pointed the pistol at the ceiling and fired. It exploded with a loud CRACK and plaster and debris came crumbling down, filling the air with dust and powder. The crowd stopped laughing.

“Oh, I think I have plenty of bullets,” Sarahetc said dryly. She waved her gun in a threatening manner. “It looks like the shoe is on the other foot, now.”

“What does that mean?” a man called out.

“Just shut the hell up!” Sarahetc answered angrily. In a rage, she aimed the pistol at his head and pulled the trigger. CLICK. Oh, shit. I’m out of bullets!

The man’s face turned white, then he smiled with relief and cried joyfully, “Hey, she’s out of bullets! Get her!” As one, the mob rushed. But the floor was slick with blood, and many of them slipped and fell clumsily.

Sarahetc spied an opening in the crowd, and sprinted for it. She leaped over the slippery puddle of blood and did a flying somersault over the water cooler. Kick, twist, jab, duck, kick… Each blow she dealt brought her one step closer to the door. Bodies fell all around her. I’m almost there. Don’t stop! Kick, jab, duck, twist…

After what seemed like an eternity, Sarahetc managed to reach the exit. She sprinted down the corridor, the hysterical mob hot on her heels. The building was a maze of hallways and elevators, connecting in a haphazard pattern. Run, you fool! But which way? Security alarms blared accusingly from all directions.

Turn left.

The voice in her head spoke urgently. Sarahetc obeyed, and darted down the corridor to her left. Who’s talking to me? But the voice did not answer, and the crazy mob gave Sarahetc no time to think as they chased after her.

Echoed cries of “Get that bitch! Don't let her get away!” and “Damn she’s fast - I wish I wasn’t so fat!” followed Sarahetc down the corridor. The sounds gradually grew fainter as Sarahetc outdistanced her pursuers.

Turn right….. Left, now! Straight ahead -- Stop! – The janitor’s closet in front of you – Hide in it!

Fighting her instincts to keep running, Sarahetc obeyed the strange voice in her head and entered the tiny janitor’s closet. The unpleasant smell of sewer water and human dung filled her nostrils.

Sarahetc tried not to breath. Her heart beat loudly. “Who are you!” she demanded in a whisper. She waited impatiently, as sounds of the crazy mob grew louder. How can you talk inside my head?

I’m trying to save your life. You have to trust me. There is no time to explain....

“Well, I’m not waiting inside this stinky ass closet! People are chasing me!” Sarahetc hissed. It was almost a shout. In a panic, she burst through the door and ran blindly down the hall, looking for a way out. She tried to remember where the fire escape was located. Isn’t it just around the corner?

Sarahetc made a left turn and felt a surge of hope as she spied the fire escape at the end of the hall. With renewed vigor, she ran like the wind, her pursuers not far behind. They’re close, but not close enough. I’m going to make it! I’ll be free.

Suddenly, a dark figure hurled out of a doorway and crashed into her with tremendous force. With a cry, Sarahetc was knocked to the floor in a tumble of arms and legs. She gasped for breath and grappled fiercely with her assailant, but she could not break the iron-like grip that held her.

This guy is fucking strong! Can’t…last…much…longer.... A massive hand covered her mouth with a foul tasting cloth. Sarahetc choked as she tried to scream. She found herself pinned awkwardly, unable to twist free. Security alarms blared loudly around her, and the cries of the angry mob echoed in the distant background. I’m sick of…getting my…ass…kicked.... Then Sarahetc lost consciousness and blackness took her.

Serenity, we have her, I repeat, we have her... Proceed with the plan. The situation is under control. Mission complete, the situation is under control. We have her, I repeat, we have her. The situation is under control. Proceed with the plan....

Sarahetc woke painfully. She lay upon a narrow cot that smelled of urine and sweat. I need water. Where am I? How come I’m not dead? Her tongue scraped roughly against her lips, and her head pounded furiously. With a groan, she swung her legs onto the floor and sat up, blinking wearily. I’m in some kind of prison cell…

“I wouldn’t get up, if I were you,” a deep voice said. “The effects of the drug have not yet worn off.”

Sarahetc lurched to her feet, prepared to fight. What the hell? A few paces away, a short, bald man faced her calmly. He stood no more than 3 feet tall, and wore a black jumpsuit made of Spandex. She closed her eyes. Don't look at the bulge. The situation was almost comical, but Sarahetc was in no mood to laugh. A midget porn star is holding me captive?

As if reading her thoughts, the little man smiled confidently, and spoke, “Oh, don’t be fooled by my size. Others have, and now they are dead.”

Sarahetc stared open-mouthed, feeling a mixture of dread and shock. This can’t be happening! In desperation, she suddenly charged, intent on crushing the little man’s skull.

He sidestepped her easily, without seeming to move. An instant later, Sarahetc found herself lying flat on her back, dazed. How did he do that? I never saw it coming.

The powerful midget bent slighty and helped Sarahetc to her feet. His face remained calm, as if nothing had happened. She rose shakily, and faced him with a newfound look of respect.

“Your zipper’s down,” he said, unexpectedly.

“What?”

“I said your zipper’s down.” He turned politely away as Sarahetc sheepishly pulled up her zipper.

Hastily, she explained, “Hey, I’ve had a real bad day. First my boss tried to fire me, so I killed him, and then the whole office staff attacked me, and there was this old man who tried to get into my pants and he pulled down my zipper!"

“Sshh. I know,” the midget interrupted. “You’re safe now, for the moment. Aside from a few cuts and bruises, no real harm has come to you. I am the one who woke you up, who helped you escape. You should have stayed in the janitor’s closet, by the way.”

“That was you?” Sarahetc exploded. “You can talk inside my mind? How? Was that you who attacked me in the hallway?" Without waiting for an answer, she continued, "Damn you, I was almost free! What the hell is going on!”

The little man smiled. “Patience, my dear, patience. We have a lot to talk about, but we can’t stay here. They will find us if we remain much longer. I had to stop you. I had no other choice. You were very foolish to run from the janitor’s closet.” The little man’s eyebrows narrowed. Sarahetc fought the urge to look away.

In a stern voice, he continued, “You would have been caught. A group of policemen were waiting outside the fire escape. It was the only way to save you.”

“But why...how....” Her voice trailed off. For the first time in her life, Sarahetc was at a loss for words. She stared at the floor, utterly confused. There sure is a lot of blood on my shoes.

“We must move quickly and rendezvous with the others. Time is growing short,” he spoke urgently.

“What others? At least tell me your name,” Sarahetec demanded. “Who are you? I’m not going anywhere with you until I get some answers.”

“My name?” the midget smiled knowingly. “Oh, you know me, although we have never met face to face. I’ve been watching you for some time now, Sarahetc, and from what I’ve seen, we’re going to need your help in the upcoming war.”

Before she could ask, “What war?” the midget spoke again, and Sarahetc’s jaw dropped in utter disbelief as she heard him say,

“My name is Haken.”

COMMENTS

Thursday, February 20, 2003 3:08 PM

SUCCATASH


This is my favorite episode. The story has just begun.

Thursday, February 20, 2003 4:00 PM

KAYTHRYN


Loving the little Haken!!! Can't wait to see what comes next!

Thursday, February 20, 2003 4:22 PM

SARAHETC


Hell's bells! You better hope Haken likes this too.

Thursday, February 20, 2003 9:22 PM

MANIACNUMBERONE


yup, another great installment in the sarahetc epic saga.

Friday, February 21, 2003 5:38 AM

LOSTANGEL


Hee Hee! Haken is a midget porn star?

This is precious!

Friday, February 21, 2003 5:43 AM

LOSTANGEL


BTW, definitely shades of the Matrix.

Loved it though.

Friday, February 21, 2003 3:23 PM

HAKEN


A midget porn star! But I'll let you know that I'm big where it counts.

Friday, February 21, 2003 4:30 PM

SUCCATASH


[don't look at the bulge]

Saturday, February 22, 2003 2:38 PM

SARAHETC


Could Haken rule any more?! Could Haken rock any harder?! If he were one electron shinier, we'd all be blind!

Thursday, March 6, 2003 8:06 PM

SUCCATASH


I think I'll release the Box Set of IV-VI before Ep. VII.

Wednesday, December 3, 2003 5:11 PM

TEELABROWN


Very funny, Succatash. Flippin' the funniest. You better write more, or I'll be after you.

And, Sarah, Haken does rule and rock. And, yes, we would be blind.

Succatash, write more!


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