Sarahetc Stories: Episode 4
Sunday, February 9, 2003

Sarahetc learns that writing Firefly fanfics is harder than she thinks.


Despite the bleeding wound in his groin, Mal stood tall and slowly eyed his crew, one by one. They shuffled nervously before him, avoiding his eyes. He loved them all, though most of them didn’t know it, and probably wouldn’t ever know it, not now. Mal tried to catch Zoe’s eye, but she stared stubbornly down at the floor by Wash’s feet. It was as if… “Sarahetc?”

“God dammit!” muttered Sarahetc, and she quickly minimized her screen. But it was too late, he'd seen her.

“Sarahetc, what are you doing?” asked Mr. Carver. He stood close behind her. The air smelled suddenly sour. How long has he been standing there? His voice carried loudly over the peaceful banjo music coming through her computer speakers. “Aren’t you supposed to be monitoring the Fux Network customer service lines? Did I just see an Internet chat room window on your computer screen?”

Sarahetc gulped, and said nothing. She looked at her boss and managed a tight smile. She knew she was busted. “Gee, Mr. Carver, that wasn’t a chat room, it was, Just one last time, I’m writing a fanfic and I guess I got carried away.”

Mr. Carver squinted fiercly beneath his bifocal lenses. His shiny forehead beamed with sweat despite the cold, drafty temperature of the office. He took a deep breath, and Sarahetc winced. She knew what was coming.

“God Dammit, Sarahetc!” Mr. Carver erupted, “How many times have we talked about this!” His face was purple with rage. “Firefly! God Dammit! Why do you keep writing stories about that stupid show!”

“It’s not stupid…” interrupted Sarahetc, but Mr. Carver overrode her.

“YOU’RE FIRED, Sarahetc! Pack your bags! Get moving! You can’t write that stuff around here! If you were just more normal, you would like Joe Millionaire and be happy and stop causing trouble—OOF!”

With a quick hand chop, Sarahetc silenced her troublesome boss. He fell with a crunch, twitching uncontrollably. The rubbing sound of his corduroy pants was so loud that several office workers looked up in question, but Sarahetc silenced them with a single glare. She knew she didn’t have much time.

“I must….I must finish my fanfic stories!” Sarahetc cried. She realized that the office workers were gathering against her. Her boss lay dead on the floor, his neck twisted gruesomely, and Betty, the receptionist screamed. Someone nearby yelled, “Hey, the boss is dead! Get her!”

Is this the end for Sarahetc? How will she get away? Will Firefly fans get to read more of her work? It seems only time will tell.


Sunday, February 9, 2003 3:19 PM


I really liked it, considering I wrote it. The point is, I like Sarahetc.

Sunday, February 9, 2003 3:26 PM


Dangerous job, but someone’s got to do it.
Thank you Sarahetc, for braving Joe Millionaire Fans to write those wonderful fan fics.
And thank you Succatash for telling the heroic story.

Sunday, February 9, 2003 4:29 PM


It's what I do. I'm a stunt man, except for writers.

Sarahetc is cool.

Sunday, February 9, 2003 4:31 PM


Damn, I'm smooth!

Sunday, February 9, 2003 4:40 PM


This was a very funny story. I would like to see a follow-up story with a combination of sarahetc's world and firefly's. Perhaps she could go from the office boiler room to the engine room of firefly in some sort of narnia-type entrance she stumbles through while fleeing from the enraged office mob.

Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:21 PM


Amusing! Are there more of the 'Sarahetc' episodes stored somewhere? If so, I'd like to read them as well. Let me know,please. :)

Wednesday, February 12, 2003 1:03 PM


<giggle> go Sarahetc.
thanks Succatash

Thursday, February 13, 2003 11:18 PM


I just thought of something. There were never any Sarahetc episodes I through III. Have we stumbled onto a Star Wars-like story series, in which the author, in this case Succatash not Lucas, may or may not go back in time in his writings?

Wednesday, December 3, 2003 5:02 PM


Oh my gosh, that was funny. Flippin' hi-larious.


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