Survival Guide Chapter 5
Thursday, January 22, 2004

More Action! More Romance! More Reavers? Jen dao mei!


Survival Guide Chapter Five

A Jayne Kaylee Story By Belasera NC-17, kiddies

A vague disclaimer is nobody’s friend: All recognizable characters, etc. belong not to me, but to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox, and no money is being made here. The story, however, is mine. Archiving: Sure, just tell me where it is so I can send my baby care packages with funny hats. This is my very first attempt at fan-fiction, and will be a multi chapter story. It is already outlined, but I would appreciate any and all feedback, positive and negative, to help me flesh out the story as well as my meager capabilities allow. This is brought to you without beta, folks.

Big props to Werzbowski, winner of Soup Contest ’04!

Survival Guide C5 is a lot like Buffy S7, melodramatic and with lots of speeches. Enjoy!

Jayne lay still, watching Kaylee sleep beside him, her head resting on his arm as the other circled her waist. He didn’t want to sleep, his head felt clear and awake for the first time in a week. Memories were sorting themselves out, pushing into Jayne questions and doubts he didn’t want to think on just yet. “Bout things the captain had said, and what Jayne had done to those reavers. And ‘bout why Kaylee was lyin' in his arms just now. Later, maybe he could make sense of it, but not just now. Now he just wanted to look at Kaylee, smell her softness all around him. No, in truth he wanted to wake her up, slip inside her and feel her trembling’ beneath him again. He ran his hand up her belly to caress one breast as he nuzzled her neck. Maybe the right thing to do was to let her sleep, but Jayne couldn’t ignore the need pounding inside him. Made him weak, had to get it out. Kaylee’s hazel eyes blinked open and Jayne wasted no time in leaning down to kiss her. “Hey you.” She murmured sleepily against his cheek Jayne smirked at her. “Oh, were you sleepin’? All worn out by my manly self?” Kaylee buried her face in his chest and laughed. “Hey- wasn’t that funny!” “Naw, it’s just…funny to me is all.” “Hmm, I humped you all stupid, didn’t I?” “Yep. Jayne you humped my brain right outta me.” “Can I do it again? Or are you…I didn’t hurt you none, did I?” Kaylee grinned and pushed him onto his back, moving to sit astride his chest. “I think I’ll manage.”


“Whew…that was…whew.” “Mmm hmm.” Kaylee agreed “What time is it? What day is it?” “Uh, 17:00, they’re gonna be lookin’ for us.” “Let ‘em. All that noise you was makin’, though, think they know where you are.” Kaylee blushed. “Still, we oughta make an appearance at dinner.” “We oughta take a shower first, we smell like two people spent all day…hey, think we can fit in the shower together?” “No, you’re a moose, Jayne. I’m gonna go get clean, I’ll see you at dinner.” Jayne laid back, arm under his head and watched Kaylee dress. With one knee on his bed, she leaned over to kiss him hard, and he pulled her back down on top of him. Kaylee batted lightly at his arms. “I’ll see you at dinner.” She repeated with a smile, and Jayne growled at her. “Don’t sit next to me. Cap’n won’t like it when I throw you on the table, start tearin’ off all your clothes.” Kaylee raised an eyebrow at him. “What? Do you really think I won’t do it?” …………………………………………………………………………………………… When Kaylee left, hatch slamming shut behind her, Jayne felt like all the cheer inside him went with her. He sat up in his bunk, tried to still the sensation of dread creepin’ out from his belly to cover him. Felt like he was standing exposed, unarmed. He couldn’t stop his heart from pounding as pictures raced through his mind. Memories, they were. Of inhuman faces crowding around him, of mangled flesh, some by his own hand. Some not, mangled inside and out. He went to his mirror, stared hard at his own face. Mangled too, cut up like his insides. Jayne shut the memories down, thought of nothing as he dressed with shaking hands. He cursed as he tried to buckle his belt for the third time. He had to pull himself together, had to get this creeping sickness out of him. He schooled his face into a look of sanity as best he could, and headed to dinner. He’d said not too, only half in jest, but Kaylee sat next to him anyway. Her smile was shimmery like the rest of her and she glanced at him often as she talked to the others. Jayne tried to concentrate on his food, tried to ignore her knee rubbin’ against his like sandpaper. But the food tasted like dirt, like dry dead earth in his mouth that he wanted to spit out. He tried to swallow it, washed it down with water but it just turned to mud. Something was very wrong, but he didn’t know what, didn’t know how to tell it to the faces around him. Faces like leather stretched hard over skulls with gaping mouths talkin’ nonsense. His heart was racing, he felt like his skin’d been peeled off leaving him senseless and exposed. Kaylee laid her hand on his leg and it was a burning brand, his nerves screaming protest at the contact. He had to stop this, this wasn’t reality. On the table, next to his plate. The sight of the knife gave him courage. Jayne pulled across his palm fast and hard and blood poured over him like relief. It felt like heaven, and his senses woke up from the nightmare. Faces, now familiar, gasped in shock and horror. He saw Mal, heard him speak. “Jayne, put the knife down.” He let it go clattering to the floor; he didn’t need it no more. Kaylee was next to him, pressing a napkin to his palm, soaking it red. “You need to get to sickbay, Simon?” “S’okay, Kaylee. I’m fine. It’s fine.” “Ain’t fine, Jayne.” Her voice sounded scared, and mad, and he grinned at her foolishly. “Don’t have to worry ‘bout me none.” Her pale face swam before him, and then everything went black.


The lights were cold and bright in his eyes. Sickbay again? He was beginning to hate this place. “Hey, you.” Kaylee beside him, lookin’ like she’d been crying. “What’sa matter, bao bai?” “Just worryin’ about you. How’s that hand?” Jayne stared down at his hand, wrapped in bandages with only a bit of blood makin’ its way out. “Fine. Just a scratch.” “No, it ain’t a scratch, why’d you do it, Jayne?” “I told you, it’s nothin’.” He had to look away from her eyes, pleading with him to understand. He had no way to explain it, no way to show her the cuts all over him, real and not, inside and out. He saw that the crew had gathered outside the infirmary, and that made him mighty nervous. “Kaylee, what’s goin’ on?” Kaylee was looking out the window at Mal, and didn’t turn from him when she answered Jayne. “It’s real bad.” “What? Captain thinks I done gone crazy? That I’m gonna cut you all up?” “No. Well, yeah actually, but it don’t matter now.” Jayne waited impatiently for her to explain, but she couldn’t or wouldn’t. “Gorramit, Kaylee, tell me.” The door slid open and Mal walked in. “You feelin’ sane again?” “Mal, I ain’t gonna hurt nobody.” ”You hurt yourself.” “Well, nobody we can’t spare.” Jayne tried a wry grin out on his captain, but Mal’s face remained dark. “We ain’t got time for this right now Jayne. We’ve got no time at all. We’re bein’ tracked. Reaver vessel.” Jayne couldn’t respond, couldn’t breathe in fact. Finally he struggled off the bed and faced Mal. “How much time we got?” “Two hours, maybe, before they catch us.” “Any way you’re gonna get us out of this one?” “Don’t like the odds. Seems like they picked us out special. They’re faster than us, and they got us pegged. We’re lookin’ though, and they ain’t got us yet.” Jayne just stared past him, ignored Kaylee when she said his name real soft, and he walked out the door. Kaylee and Mal followed him to the cargo bay, the others close behind. It was Mal who called out to him. “Where ya goin’, Jayne?” “Shuttle.” “Wanna tell me why?” Jayne rounded on him, staring hard into his face. “Captain, can’t be sure why they picked us, reaver mind ain’t exactly an open book. But there’s damn good odds says they picked this ship ‘cause I’m on it.” “We don’t know that, Jayne. You goin’ out there might not mean a thing.” “Well it can’t hurt none neither. I go out and meet ‘em, maybe they stop for me. Maybe it’s me they want. Even if they don’t, maybe it buys you a little of that time you ain’t got.” Jayne kept his eyes on Mal, didn’t wanna see the others probably lookin’ relieved. Didn’t wanna see Kaylee. “We’ll find another way, Jayne.” “NO! You’ll all die. You don’t know….” His eyes grew huge, terrified. “They scream like animals, the sound alone can…break you. I don’t want you broken.” And he looked at Kaylee, now. “They can take me, kill me or make me into one of them. They can make me a reaver. I reckon it don’t matter. I’m already. I’m all…empty. Inside. I think they got the job done the first time. Just let me go.” He turned to go before he had to look again at her, but Kaylee grabbed his arm. “No..” Little whisper like maybe she didn’t say it at all, and he didn’t look to see if she meant it. Just shook her off and kept walking. “NO!” No whisper this time, and she pushed in front of him to look in his face. He refused look down. “Kaylee, no. I wanna forget you. If I become…one of them, I don’t wanna remember you, not like that. Not ever.” Kaylee pulled his injured hand to her lips and marked it with a kiss. “I’ll remember for the both of us.” Just another cut, just one more only it hurt like dyin’ and Jayne walked away, desperate to be on that shuttle away from her. Mal watched him walk away, and grabbed Kaylee in a hug, holding her as if he could keep her whole. Inara watched Mal in turn, as she held River’s agitated hand. Behind him, Mal hurt Wash exclaim, “There oughta be a statue of that man somewhere.” He turned to glare at Wash, but saw that his face was dead serious and terribly sad. Zoe caught his eye with a question and Mal sighed. “Aw, hell. Zoe, shoot Jayne in the leg.”



Friday, January 23, 2004 3:05 AM


Ai ya.... you had me really worried there for a second. Then you drop that last line on me and it's like I suddenly let go the breath I didn't know I was holding.

Damn you're good.

Saturday, September 3, 2005 3:15 AM


oh, good almost had me believin' you were gonna kill off our favourite moose!!!

Sunday, October 16, 2005 9:14 PM


What? I give a 10 to a story that ain't really got no NC17 smut in it? No detailed nekkie Jayne descriptions nor nothin' in it, but it IS the afterplay I craved following your last installment and it had shiny hapy lines like: “Don’t sit next to me. Cap’n won’t like it when I throw you on the table, start tearin’ off all your clothes.” Also, gotta agree with W's comment above about the coiled up tension in me while watching Jayne walk away. Good on ya for not letting Mal and Zoe let Jayne board that shuttle. Have I told you I do NOT want this story to ever end? Well, I'm telling you. Give me more but don't give me a final, 'kay?

Monday, June 12, 2006 6:47 AM


“Aw, hell. Zoe, shoot Jayne in the leg.”

That's one way to keep him where you want him! I noticed that it's Zoe doing the shootin' and not Mal.


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The Snake in the Apple Tree 3
Last and dirtiest of the Apples series.

Saint Jayne
Saint Jayne performs his first miracle. Zoe, Jayne, Heaven, Hell and all that flies between. Post BDM.

Mornin' Glory
Jayne and Kaylee in the lazy morning. Could be a sequel to Slim as Dimes if you’ve read it, but stands find by its lonesome.
More R than NC-17

Inked on Sabbath
By request. How the job went wooly in Slim as Dimes, though it's a complete story on its own.

Slim as Dimes, Part 6
Oh, the things you hear in a cracked spaceship…I’m going back to my first love, Jayne/Kaylee, with a smattering of Simon for good luck.

Slim as Dimes, Part 5
Oh, the things you hear in a cracked spaceship…I’m going back to my first love, Jayne/Kaylee, with a smattering of Simon for good luck.

Slim as Dimes, Part 4
Oh, the things you hear in a cracked spaceship…I’m going back to my first love, Jayne/Kaylee, with a smattering of Simon for good luck.

Slim as Dimes, Part 3

Slim as Dimes, Part 2

Slim as Dimes
Oh, the things you hear in a cracked spaceship…I’m going back to my first love, Jayne/Kaylee, with a smattering of Simon for good luck.