Captain Malcolm Reynolds
Thursday, December 8, 2005

The series plot from Mal's point of view--based on Warren Zevon's "Mr. Bad Example." Very summarized, but the song is short and the story is long.


Based on



I started off on Shadow, 'till I joined with the Browncoats

And when we went and lost the war, I bought me this here boat

And with my first mate Zoe, and my hotshot pilot Wash

And mechanic genius Bester, we pulled shady jobs for cash


Now Wash and Zoe, they got hitched, but Bester slept around

Sometimes he took more care with that than to keep us off the ground

He screwed Kaylee in the engine room, 'cause he didn't like his bunk

And when she fixed the engine I told him to pack his trunk


Now Jayne and buddies held us up, they thought to have our hides

We offered him a better deal, and so he joined our side

Inara rents our shuttle, I believe you know what for

She says she's a Companion, but I know she's just a whore


I'm Captain Malcolm Reynolds, I'm a smuggler and a thief

I don't care what the job is, long's I get my gorram beef

I'm Captain Malcolm Reynolds, of the ship Serenity

Boil the sea and burn the land, you can't take the sky from me


One day we took on passengers, a shepherd with no flocks

a suspicious looking doctor with a girl stuck in a box

The third one was a gorram fed who tried to turn us in

But I took aim and put a slug right where his eye had been


From that moment our luck soured, and things got worse and worse

Turned out the doctor and the girl were wanted through the 'verse

Now none of that made sense to me, but as the doc explained

they were sought by the Academy, for the secrets in her brain


River beat up everyone, in a shady Beaumonde bar

She was babbling 'bout Miranda, which was even more bizarre

Seems that there's this planet, that no one knows exists

The Alliance killed them what lived there, no wonder that they're pissed


We found a tape that proved just what the Feds had done

And to Mr. Universe we made our final run

The Operative tried to stop me but I didn't fall

I stabbed his sword right through his coat and made him watch it all


I'm Captain Malcolm Reynolds, and I can't stand the core

You'll see something very different now, now that I've gone to war

I'm Captain Malcolm Reynolds, and I don't care none for cops

Thirty worlds will know the truth, 'cause the signal can't be stopped


The Operative fixed us up, and put us in the air

And River's now our pilot, so we're none the worse for wear

And Parliament has been impeached, which surely tickles me

We're going out now to the black, see you in season 3!


Sunday, December 11, 2005 11:16 AM


Belcgod thank you for that Shiny kick-ass filk.No one appreciates Warren Zevon enough.That was rutting brilliant.

Thursday, December 15, 2005 4:09 AM


Love the rhyme and the whole story is there too! Great


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