Survival Guide Chapter 4
Saturday, January 17, 2004

Jayne needs to sort out his head.


Survival Guide Chapter four

A Jayne Kaylee Story By Belasera NC-17, kiddies, and this chapter means it!

A vague disclaimer is nobody’s friend: All recognizable characters, etc. belong not to me, but to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox, and no money is being made here. The story, however, is mine. Archiving: Sure, just tell me where it is so I can send my baby care packages with funny hats. This is my very first attempt at fan-fiction, and will be a multi chapter story. It is already outlined, but I would appreciate any and all feedback, positive and negative, to help me flesh out the story as well as my meager capabilities allow. This is brought to you without beta, folks.

Here’s a game for ya’ll. In the soup scene, Inara, Book, River, Wash and Zoe all say something about the soup, and one person says two things. Try and guess who says what. First person to get it right gets a planet named after them in my ‘verse! …………………………………………………………………………………………

“What are ya trying to pass this off as again, Kaylee?” Wash poked at the reddish goop in his bowl with a frightened look in his eye. “It’s tomato soup, Wash. Got real tomatoes in it. Well, freeze dried tomato paste, anyway.” Inara hid a smile behind her napkin as River stared at her soup with open horror. Book and Zoe ate placidly, and Kaylee nodded encouragingly at them. Wash took a tentative sip and blanched. “It’s real, it’s um…warm.” “Just bi zuie and eat, sweetie.” “Something’s floating in mine.” “It was kind of you to prepare this for us, Kaylee.” “Perhaps some rosemary would help.” “Or some tomatoes.” Kaylee plunked her head down on the table in exasperation. “I hate space vittles. It is edible, though, right? I wanted to take Jayne some real food.” “That won’t be necessary.” Mal announced, strolling into the dining room. Kaylee looked up sharply, half expecting an argument, but Mal continued. “Couple a days in sickbay, seems our Jayne is itchin’ to get out. He’ll be joinin’ us in a moment. Now, he’s on the mend and all, but he’s not had a good time of it. I know there are some of you who have it in your mind to coddle him a bit, but man like Jayne don’t take to coddlin’. I think the best thing for him will be if everything is real normal-like.” “That’s some real convenient thinkin’ you’re doin’ captain.” “Kaylee, Jayne has been hurt before, no need to make a fuss this time, dong ma?” Wash gave Mal a puzzled glance. “So, sir, you’re sure we’re sure ‘bout this Jayne not being crazy thing?”

Mal sighed. “He seems ill tempered and violent enough, so far as I can tell, he’s back to his old violent ill tempered self.” “But just maybe crazy, maybe? I’m just askin’.” “We’ll just keep an eye on him, Wash, ok?” “Ah- the man himself.” Jayne walked into the dining room with Simon close behind. With a pained expression he eased himself into a chair. Everyone glanced around nervously. The captain had said act normal, only no one could seem to remember what that was like. Kaylee looked around and realized why. Normally, everyone ignored Jayne until he made his presence known with his loud, sullen humor. Now he sat staring straight ahead, his face a map of injury and his body language sending a clear message to stay away. Only the captain seemed unaffected, he sat easily in his chair drinking coffee and surveying his crew. Finally Kaylee broke the silence with an overly cheerful offer. “Want soup, Jayne?” Inara smiled warmly at Jayne across the table and added. “I hear freeze dried tomato soup is a wonderful healing aid.” Wash snickered but Jayne just nodded mutely at Kaylee, and she served him a bowl of hot soup. Jayne gazed down at his bowl, not moving to eat. It made Kaylee more nervous than his silence, she had never seen Jayne pass up food. From several seats down, River spoke, seeming to address no one in particular. “I know. Makes it harder to eat it. But it isn’t every day that you land in free soup.” Jayne nodded and picked up his spoon. “All right then.” Mal exclaimed. “Now that we’ve dealt with the soup issues, let’s talk work. Got us a pickup on Sigur Vale in two days time. Practically legal, too.” Zoe shot him a wry disbelieving look. “Something simple after all the excitement. We’ll be planetside two or three days, meet up with our contact, wait for the goods and be off, easy-peasy. Kaylee, this’ll be a good chance for you to run a comprehensive maintenance check, might be a while before we have a good long stop again.” Mal said it so casually that Kaylee felt sure she knew what the message was- stay busy, stay away from Jayne. She managed to nod without scowling. Jayne’s bowl hit the table with a thump, and he gave Kaylee a very slight smile that was somehow able to push her heart into her throat. “Can I have some more o’ that soup?” Wash gaped at Jayne, eyes wide. “Jen dao mei, he *has* gone crazy.”


Sigur Vale was a desolate little moon that suited Jayne’s mood to perfection. Leaving Serenity behind in the dusty port, he walked with Mal and Zoe to meet their contact in town. Jayne actually wanted to stay behind on the ship, but Mal had cheerfully decided that the livid red scar on Jayne’s face gave him a reckless sort of appearance that might work well in their favor. Jayne thought it gave him the sort of appearance of a man been sliced with a knife, but he kept his mouth shut on that point.

Kaylee and Wash rode past on the mule, and Wash tossed Zoe a kiss. Jayne quickly looked away before Kaylee could catch his eye, not that she’d be tossin’ him kisses anyway. But then, maybe… Jayne shook the thought from his mind. Thoughts of Kaylee and kisses seemed to occupy half his brain lately, taking him down strange paths that ended in shiny lakes and cool grass. Invitin’ as these fancies were they inevitably led to the other half of his brain, filled with the odor of death and animal screaming. All the images kept getting’ jumbled together until Jayne wasn’t actually sure what was real and what was not. The reaver poison had scrambled his brain good, leaving him with a lingering headache and an untrustworthy memory of what had happened the day he got taken. He was fairly certain he and Kaylee had actually gone to a lake, though he couldn’t remember why, but he was also fairly certain that they hadn’t done what he seemed to remember them doin’. It made his belly ache to think on that, wonderin’ if it happened. Doc said his brain would be right as rain before long, and then he could figure it out. Jayne refused to admit to himself that the ache in his belly might be from wantin’ it to be real so bad. In the meantime, he figured it best if he avoided Kaylee altogether. He couldn’t rightly go up to her and ask if they’d had sex under a tree. The crew was half expectin’ him to turn reaver at any moment, wouldn’t do to be actin’ all crazy just now. Fortunately for Jayne, their meeting went smooth and easy. Jayne did his usual stand and glower, then returned to the ship with relief. He meant to go straight to his bunk and sleep off his headache, but Kaylee was standing in the cargo bay, ready to waylay him. “Hey, Jayne, I was hoping you could help me some in getting’ these new parts to the engine room.” Jayne moved to help her, but Mal stepped between them. “Now Kaylee, don’t go breaking Jayne after Simon took all that trouble fixin’ him up. He don’t need to be carrying heavy things just yet.” Jayne couldn’t miss the tension between Kaylee and the captain and it was mighty strange, the two of them usually bein’ close like family. Kaylee surprised Jayne by reaching out to take his hand as she said to Mal, “Ain’t nothing heavy to carry, I just need a few extra hands is all.” She said it real hard, like she was tellin Mal something he didn’t want to hear. Jayne’s heavy footfalls echoed behind her as Kaylee walked to the engine room, a box full of odds and ends in her hands. His presence as they entered the room felt heavy to her and she found she had to calm her breathing as she unloaded her purchases. Jayne stood awkwardly awaiting instruction, his hands full of parts he couldn’t fathom the use of. Finally Kaylee broke the silence. “You gettin’ better, Jayne?” She asked gently. “Better’n what?” Kaylee bit her lip and stared into his face. His eyes were blank as he stared back. “Just want you to be ok, is all.” “I’m fine. It wasn’t nothin’, Kaylee.” “Yeah it was. It was somethin’ bad, what they did to you.” “We don’t need to talk about that.” “Ok, but I do need to say thank you, for savin’ my life. And for savin’ you own life, that ain’t nothin’.” Kaylee stepped toward him and Jayne looked down on her, startled. “What’re ya doin’?” “Just…” Kaylee reached up and traced the scar along his face. “Just that you’re still swai, ya know?” Jayne took a step back as he pushed her hand away. “Gorramit, what are ya doin’?” Kaylee shrank back from the anger flashing in his eyes. “Jayne, I’m sorry…are you mad at me?” She whispered the last part and Jayne’s face softened. “I just don’t know what you want, Kaylee. Why would I be mad at ya?” “I thought maybe ‘cause I left you?” Jayne stared in confusion. “When?” “When they attacked. When they…when they took you. I left you and you almost died and maybe you could be mad some about that. ‘Specially since…before, at the lake when we…” Kaylee trailed off, gazing at him expectantly. Jayne just shook his head. “I ain’t mad about you livin’, Kaylee. I don’t…I don’t rightly know….but it was right for you to run. It ain’t your job to fight reavers.” Kaylee squeezed her eyes shut and turned away from him. “No, I guess it ain’t my job. It’s you who’s paid to fight. I got some work to do now, Jayne. Thanks for helpin’.” “It’s no big deal.” Jayne walked out the door, and Kaylee called after him. “I’m glad yer mendin’.” When she was certain he was gone, Kaylee turned around and climbed into her hammock. Fist stuffed into her mouth, she cried angry bitter tears. She was such a gorram moon-face. She shoulda taken his hint, way he’d been avoiding her, but she chose to believe instead it was on account of his busy gettin’ healed up. But, really, he just didn’t want no more to do with her, didn’t want to talk about the lake, didn’t want her touchin’ him or frettin’ over him. They’d had a good romp, and Jayne’d done what he was paid for by protecting her. Only she had to be a pee goo and make it into them havin’ feelings for each other.


Jayne’s head was pounding. What the hump had just happened? He had no idea what Kaylee was so upset about, unless…she’d said something about the lake, now he was sure they’d gone there. Maybe the rest was real, too? He slammed his fist against his forehead, pain exploding behind his eyes as his bruises screamed in protest. No ruttin’ way he could deal with this, no way his scrambled brain could figure out what Kaylee was meanin’ when every nerve in his body was achin’ so bad to touch her. Only he didn’t know if he had the right, and he didn’t know if he was in his right mind to even be thinkin’ about it. He needed sleep, and he needed to see the doc about his head again, tell him he couldn’t stand the way it was spinnin’. As Jayne walked toward the mess, he heard the captain’s voice, and he heard his own name spoken. He moved to the wall and stood quietly to hear what was being said. “Don’t know what to do about him.” “Captain, you committed to him, and it’s a commitment you are going to have to fulfill.” It was Shepard Book talking to the captain. “I rightly know that, and I don’t plan on doing wrong by Jayne. But that’s no guarantee he won’t do wrong by us. He is dangerous, no two ways about it. There’s a reason reavers wanted to recruit him.” ”And there is a reason you recruited him yourself.” “Yeah, he was gonna blow my gorram head off.” “Captain, I think you saw something in Jayne that is akin to yourself. He’s willing to fight and he won’t back down. Reavers took it for pure violence, thought he was one of their kind, but I think you see the truth. He just needs something to fight for. Like he fought for Kaylee.” “Shepard, do not go there. She doesn’t need to get tangled up in his nonsense.” ”Kaylee is a grown woman, captain. And just might be that the two of them got tangled up right when they needed to.” The captain and Book started when Jayne walked through the door, but he ignored them both and stalked to his bunk. ……………………………………………………………………………………………

Kaylee knocked timidly on the door to Inara’s shuttle. She hated to bother the companion in her private room. But when Inara opened the door, she had a sincere smile for Kaylee. “Kaylee, what can I do for you?” “I was hoping you’d have a few minutes to talk, is all.” “Of course, come in and I’ll make us some tea.” Kaylee blushed. “Oh, you don’t have to do all that.” “Of course I don’t. But I do want to.” Seated with a steaming cup of tea warming her hands, Kaylee found herself unable to begin. Inara seemed to understand, she sat patiently waiting for Kaylee to say what was on her mind. “Inara, you know lots about romance and love.” “Well, I know a lot about sex, it’s not often the same thing.” “No, I ‘spouse it ain’t. Guess it’s hardly ever the same thing. Inara, I…me and Jayne….I slept with Jayne.” If Inara was surprised she didn’t show it, just stayed silent and let Kaylee continue. “On Ma’Picchu. We went skinny dippin’ and then he was kissin’ me, which is what I went there for anyway and then…well you can imagine the rest.” Inara smiled at her impishly and Kaylee laughed. “Yeah, it was fun, too. Real sweet bein’ with him. And then, we got ourselves attacked.” Kaylee’s face grew sober. “I thought he was dead, thought he’d got himself killed savin’ me and it hurt *so* bad, I thought I would die my own self.” Inara reached over to hold Kaylee’s hand “Made me think I might be in love with him.” “Kaylee, sweetie. Something like that can make you feel a lot of things. Being intimate with someone and then facing that sort of deadly situation, I can’t imagine it. But it may be that what you are feeling is relief and gratitude, not love. Have you said any of this to Jayne?” Kaylee shook her head “He wouldn’t want to hear it no how.” Kaylee described the scene in the engine room while Inara listened thoughtfully. “Kaylee, Jayne has been through a lot, and Simon did say that he might not be himself for a while. It could be that he’s honestly confused about what happened between you, or that he’s too wrapped up in what happened to him on that ship. But it has been obvious to me for some time that Jayne has feelings for you that are more than simply physical. I think he just needs your support, right now, to help him through this.” Kaylee nodded her agreement, looking relieved, But Inara continued cautiously. “But before you continue, you may want to consider just want you want from Jayne, and what he might be able to give you. I don’t think he would hurt you, but he is a killer, Kaylee.” “Why does everyone want to tell me that like I don’t know it? I do know what he is, Inara, and I don’t want to change that.” Inara looked surprised at that, and smiled warmly at her friend. “If that’s truly how you feel then it might be that you two could really be something to each other. And that’s worth a little patience, Kaylee. It’s worth a lot, in fact.” “Thank you Inara, I’m real pleased to have you as a friend.” “The feeling is mutual. Oh, and Kaylee, watch out for Mal. He won’t like it.”


Jayne didn’t answer when she called down his bunk, but she stole down the ladder anyway, closing the hatch behind her. “Jayne?” She called softly into the near darkness. She saw him sit up in his bed and barreled ahead. “Jayne, I’m real sorry about before. I didn’t mean to push you none, I was just…I was missing you is all.” Jayne stood and walked over to her quietly, reaching out to run his hand down the side of her face, running a shiver through her. “Kaylee,” he whispered. “I’m all rutted up inside. Feel like I wanna…Kaylee when we were at the lake, did we really…” “Yeah.” Jayne let out a long slow breath and pulled her to him. In a flash, his mouth was on her, hot and hungry, his arms drawing her so close her head went spinning. He pulled his mouth away from hers and breathed into her ear. “Yeah, I remember this…” And he sought her mouth again. But it wasn’t like before, then it had been laughing and playful. That had been fun, but this was….this was threatening to send her tumbling out into the black with the force of it, the force of him laying claim to her body. She dug her fingers into his back and he stiffened. “Am I hurtin’ ya?” She whispered. “Yes.” He growled and bit into her shoulder. “Don’t stop.” Her breath hitched and she thought she’d come out of her skin. He pulled at her clothes, letting her arms tangle in her shirt behind her as he moved down to push off her overalls. He inhaled deeply, trailing his face up toward hers until he was kissing her again, and shoved her back onto the bed. He prowled over her fully clothed and began an intense torment of her body with his tongue and hands. His focus was overwhelming and unexpected and Kaylee whimpered, pushing and pulling at his arms. Begging him to stop, begging him for more. She gave up entirely when he entered her with first one, then two large fingers, his thumb circling her swollen nub. Kaylee arched her back and clutched his shoulders as she stared into Jayne’s face. His cheeks were tinged with red, his eyes blazing down on her, his lips slightly parted as he panted softly. It was the sexiest thing Kaylee had ever seen. She stroked his face, running her thumb across his lips as she whispered to him, “So swai.” She reached down to tug on his shirt and pleaded to him. “Naked, why aren’t you naked?” He answered by twisting his fingers inside of her. With a slow smile he asked her, voice thick with lust, “You ready for more?” Kaylee gasped in response and orgasm ripped through her body, leaving her trembling as Jayne’s fingers continued to work inside of her. “Yes..” She moaned and abruptly Jayne pulled out of her and away from her, kneeling between her knees as he stripped off his shirt and moved to undo his belt. “Let me.” Kaylee muttered and pushed his hands aside. Jayne leaned over to nibble her neck, kneading one of her full breasts in his rough hand as she unbuckled his trousers and slid them to his knees. Jayne leaned back as his cock sprang free, as hard and delightfully large as the rest of him. Jayne chuckled when Kaylee gave it a low whistle, then he pushed her onto her back, settling himself between her legs. For a moment he stayed that way, caressing Kaylee’s breasts and neck as his gaze bore into her. Then the tip of his cock was nudging at her entrance and he growled low in her ear. “I ain’t gonna be gentle.” Kaylee kissed him in response and he plunged into her. He was relentless, his head hung between her breasts and Kaylee clung to his straining biceps as he fucked her so hard it hovered just on the pleasurable side of pain. He groaned aloud when Kaylee wrapped her legs around him, forcing him further inside her, and she bit into his shoulder to keep from crying out when she came again shuddering. Jayne lifted his head to grin fiercely at her, and it made her heart so glad that she pulled him close to her, wrapping him tightly in her arms as she felt him tremble and come. …………………………………………………………………………….. It’s not over yet, folks.


Monday, January 19, 2004 3:04 AM


Whoa...more please.

Ok let's take a stab at this game...

Wash - “It’s real, it’s um…warm.”

Zoe - “Just bi zuie and eat, sweetie.”

River - “Something’s floating in mine.”

Inara - “It was kind of you to prepare this for us, Kaylee.”

Book - “Perhaps some rosemary would help.”

Wash - “Or some tomatoes.”

So that's my shot at it. Keep up the awsome work Belasera I'm very anxious for the next installment.

Saturday, September 3, 2005 3:08 AM


who knew soup could be so funny? :o)

Sunday, October 16, 2005 9:04 PM


Only reason it ain't a 10 is that it left off at him coming. I'm a woman who loves her afterplay and I'm gonna fold my arms across my bosum in protest until I get me some Jaylee afterplay. Got a feeling it might be in the next 'un though. You did promise... P.S. Excellent work; how well you know these two and the whole gorram crew. That exchange at the dinner table over bloody soup really got me. I also like how easy it was to tell who was talking just by the context and their style of speech. Good job, W., on choosing a passage and putting names to the speakers. Underscored how well Belasera did her work.
-Roving Eye


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Slim as Dimes, Part 5
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Slim as Dimes, Part 4
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Slim as Dimes, Part 3

Slim as Dimes, Part 2

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