BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR

RINNYPJ

Oleeves
Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Pure unadulterated silliness.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1817    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

“Just what exactly are these things?” Mal lifts a green olive to his nose, sniffing it before wrinkling his nose.

“It’s an olive, Mal.” He figures he knows her well enough to tell she’s annoyed beneath the patient veneer. Which of course, is why he further baits her.

“An oleeve?” He sounds it out, rolling the fruit between his finger and thumb, watching the little red center squish around.

“No, Mal,” she frowns at him, and he can see the twitch of her mouth as she tries to suppress a frown, and sounds it out for him. “Ol-ive.”

“Ol-ive,” he repeats slowly. “An’ what are they again?”

“An ancient delicacy dating back from Earth-that-was. They’re rare,” she watches as he drops the olive in between the cushions of her couch. Her voice is just a bit harder as she continues. “And rather expensive.”

“Earth-that-was, ya don’t say? They must taste mighty fine to still be ‘round, lookin’ like fish eyes the way they do.”

“Mal!”

“What?” He blinked innocently, “They do.”

He reaches for another one, popping it in his mouth. The next moment he spits it out, “Gao yang zhong de gu yang! Are you sure that’s food?”

She’s eyeing the half chewed food in his hand like it might jump up and attack her. “Positive.”

“Ya sure they’re fresh then?” He picked another one, sniffing it. “Supposed to be green like this?” He scratched at the skin with one nail, “Might be mold.”

“Out,” she says calmly.

“But I was just--”

“Out.”

“You were the one--”

“I meant now.” Little less polite.

“Aww, don’t go gettin’ bent outta shape cause I didn’t like your oleeves.”

“Qing wa cao de liu mang! Get out!”

Affronted, he stood up. “Hey, now. Those allegations were never proven.”

“Out!”

“But… the oleeves!” Deciding maybe he’d pushed her far enough, he took a sliding step toward the door. “You know what, I think maybe I’m needed for more captain-y things somewhere. So how’s about I go?”

“How’s about you do that?” She narrowed her eyes.

He nods, and slipped through the doorway, calling over his shoulder, “Just remember what I said about the mold!”

He can’t surpress his laughter when his words are followed by a handful of olives pelting his back. Zoe was coming toward him, a confused expression on her face.

“Sir? Are those olives?”

“Yep.”

“Can I ask what they’re doing on our catwalk?”

“Probably best you didn’t.”

“Okay then,” she nods affably, and then tilted her head, “If memory serves, olives are the main export outta Shadow.”

“You ain’t wrong, Zoe,” he grinned, heading for the stairs. “You ain’t wrong.”

COMMENTS

Wednesday, November 02, 2005 11:10 AM

FLOATINGCHANDELIER


Silliness, but funny all the same. Mal's so funny, but mostly I just feel sorry for Inara. Sweet and funny- a good combination.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005 1:20 PM

ANONYMOUS


Mmm...olives

Wednesday, November 02, 2005 3:49 PM

CUB


"He figures he knows her well enough to tell she’s annoyed beneath the patient veneer. Which of course, is why he further baits her."

That's Mal and Inara in two sentences.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005 3:53 PM

JACQUI


Tee hee.

Mal's such a little kid. If he was ten, he'd so be pulling her pigtails and running away.

Thursday, November 03, 2005 5:27 AM

SOMEDEEPMYSTERY


YAY!

Thursday, November 03, 2005 7:08 AM

AMDOBELL


Loved this, it is just so Mal and Inara in a nutshell. I think he may be in trouble if Inara ever finds out he knows only too well what olives are... Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Friday, November 04, 2005 10:53 AM

BELLONA


i can just see this happening...*giggle*

b

Sunday, November 06, 2005 7:07 PM

JECKASTAR33


awww. best ending. I love it.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005 5:31 PM

ANONYMOUS


you are hiiiilarious... totally got the characters down too. fantastic

Monday, November 21, 2005 5:09 AM

OLDSOUL1987


AHAH! 'Nara threw the food at him thats so awsome! I love that he loves to bug her... this is good work! I am sneaking on my computer and being sneaky is hard when you are cracking up with laughter so THANK YOU VERY MUCH! no really thanks good fic!

Friday, January 20, 2006 10:28 PM

ANONYMOUS


good...mal is so lovable...you captured inara so well

Tuesday, April 11, 2006 2:26 AM

ANONYMOUS


God I hate olives! They taste like the way stinky feet smell...I've had many people agree with me....GROSS!!!

Monday, August 06, 2007 12:29 PM

PHYRELIGHT


LOL! I can totally see Mal doing that to Inara!


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