Friends Survery - Jayne
Thursday, October 27, 2005

Jayne answers Wash's email. Hi-larity ensues.


To: Wash, Mal, Kaylee, Zoe, Book, Simon, River, Inara From: Jayne Subj: Friends Survey

Welcome to the new edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here is what you are supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the fun! Just copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. Some of you may get this several times that means you have many friends. 1. What is your occupation? Merc but i like to call it ass-kicker!! 2. What color is your underwear? Whaadaya care for anyway! Maybe I’m just goin commando, eh? 3. What are you listening to right now? Doc and his kwong-juh duh sister are havin’ words outside.

4. What was the last thing you ate? Peaches! Gorram, I found peaches in the storage locker!

5. Do you wish on stars? Wishin aint never got me nothin. Doin gets me something!

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? If I’s a crayon I’d color you dead! What kinda go-se question is that?!

7. How is the weather right now? Stuffy. Gorram vent systems on the craps in here!

8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? The what? I don’t use no phone I just yell at folk what needs yellin at!

9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Eh, he does a good nuff job keepin us in the air.

10. Name three things other than office supplies/computer/laptop that are on your desk right now: Desk? Hell, bunk…me, Vera, and some cleanin stuffs.

11. Favorite drink? Been cravin a gorram Mudders Milk since Higgin’s Moon, but a stiff whiskey’ll do in the meantime.

12. Another MIA one ... how about any tattoos? If no, do you want any and if yes, what and/or where? Loads and I ain’t tellin where. Takes up too much space.

13. Have you ever dyed your hair? Hell no! That’s just for them girly girls to do.

14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Never will! Can you see sixty year old me wearin specs and pullin jobs?

15. Who do you think Jennifer Aniston should marry next? Me! Well, we wouldint git married…we’d just get all sexed up a while! 16. Favorite month? Any month I get paid. 17. Favorite food? Meat! Meat! And maybe a little meat! Tho, I did have a good ice planet a few months back.

18. What was the last movie you watched? Sleazy Monster Had all manner of gore and nekkidness in it. None of y’all wanted to see it so I stayed in my damn bunk and watched it.

19. Favorite day of the year? Any day I get paid…or have sex. Or have sex after gettin’ paid!

20. What do you do to vent anger? I hurt things, I shoot things, I yell. ‘m told it’s therapeutic and stuff.

21. Favorite Toy as a child? Had this little plastic gun my pappy got me. Made all sorts of lights and sounds. Gorram, think I was about two then?!

22. Fall or Spring? Spring..more growth means more camofloj. Err, coverage, ya know?

23. Hugs or kisses? Yeah! And more ‘n that, too!

24. Cherry or Blueberry? Heh, this one of them youphemisisms?

25. Do you want your friends to email you back? Eh, sure.

26. Who is most likely to respond? Well, I wants to hear what Inara’s gotta say!

27. Who is least likely to respond? Book…this all’s too dirty fer him.

28. Living arrangements? Me and the bunk. And my weapons!

29. Last time you cried? Cried? Bah, men don’t cry. Not built for it.

30. What is on the floor of your closet? Umm, boxes of ammo, some magazines, boots, knives.

31. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Don’t have me friends. But ya know the folks here on the ship are kinda like friends and all.

32. What did you do last night? Ate, cleaned my guns, spent time in my bunk. Ate some more.

33. Favorite smells? Gun oil, womenfolk, fired rounds, cookin meats.

34. What inspires you? Getting paid and getting all sexed up.

35. What are you afraid of? Aint afraid t’nothing! Save maybe Reavers.

36. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Hell, it’s meat, ain’t it? What’s the fuss?

37. Favorite car? Bah, they’s all the same. Favorite gun on the other hand…well, that’s Vera!

38. Favorite dog breed? Any kind what hunts well!

39. Number of keys on your key ring? Hell, I don’t even use em anymore. But I remember my folks house was one of them old ones what used actual keys.

40. How many years at your current address? Lil more ‘n three maybe.

41. Favorite day of the week? Any day I’m getting paid, shootin or getting some.

42. How many states have you lived in? One, but where I’s from they’re called provinses.

43. Are you happy? Yea, guess.

44. Where would you like to move? A big house with lotsa guns and lotsa girls.

45. If there is another question you'd like to add ... do it here! How much you wanna see Inara and another gal do it. Lots!!


Thursday, October 27, 2005 12:09 PM


Another funny one! Yay!

Thursday, October 27, 2005 12:59 PM


You want to know what's really,really, scary about this??? It gets Jayne down a to a T!...When I was readin' this, I could picture Jayne sittin' there, saying all this as if he was as serious as a heartattack...I liked the other "Friends Surveys" too but this just had me laughin way too much! know though...the thought of Jayne going commando is really too bad...oops...bad little me...where, oh where did that come from??? Sorry...I don't want to offend and get kicked out of here! I have a fanfic of my own to finish! Great idea and great job UnchartedOutlaw!!!
"Pretty cunning, don't cha' think?"

Thursday, October 27, 2005 1:02 PM


Thanks! You have no idea how hard it was to purposely mispell things as an English teacher!

Thursday, October 27, 2005 1:25 PM


haha, very good. I would like to see River's!

Thursday, October 27, 2005 1:52 PM


An Enlish teacher, huh?? God, what must that be be able to edit your own stuff and know you're right...hey, a funny English teacher? Never had one of them in high school!
"Pretty cunning, don't cha think?"

Thursday, October 27, 2005 2:50 PM


1- Public Relations!

Friday, October 28, 2005 7:24 AM


"I just yell at folk what needs yellin at!"

so the bit 'bout jayne's pants or lack thereof, niiiiice...oops! SORRY!!! the last question was spot on with the jayne-ness!!! lovin' this series!!! maybe do my own version...? (bein' polite an' askin' permission here!)


Saturday, October 29, 2005 1:19 AM


You had me at your feet with #2.


LMAO! Love it!

Saturday, October 29, 2005 9:26 AM


S'pose I oughta wash my feet then. :)

Sunday, March 18, 2007 4:52 PM


ok, this is the funniest one so far.
like to call it "ass-kicker", color you dead, camofloj, meat, meat, and meat! it's all too dirty fer Book!

i like this game!


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