First Kiss
Monday, December 29, 2003

Just another day in the life of Serenity's crew—kinda.


Disclaimer: Firefly and all related elements, characters and indicia © Mutant Enemy Productions and 20th Century Fox Television, 2003. All Rights Reserved. All characters and situations—save those created by the authors for use solely on this website—are copyright Mutant Enemy Productions and 20th Century Fox Television.

Please do not archive or distribute without author's permission.

Author's Note: Written for Firefly Friday fic challenge #2.

First Kiss
by Tara O'Shea

It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

"You've done this before, right?"

"Give Simon room to work, Wash."

They were supposed to be in the infirmary. Where all the drugs were. All the shiny, shiny drugs that women for centuries had relied upon to help get them through the most wonderful experience of their lives.

"But he has done this before, right?"

"Wash, you were there. Remember?"

"I knew this felt familiar for a reason."

They were supposed to be in the infirmary. Where Simon had all the tricks of his trade, not to mention lights, and medical equipment, and everything a doctor might need should any complications arise.

"There's an awful lot of fluids—Is that normal? Is it supposed to involve so much—"

"You ain't never seen a horse foal, have you?" Mal asked conversationally as bullets tinged against the metal walls.

"My mother downloaded My Friend Flicka down off the cortex for me when I was seven. Does that count?"

"I'd have to say no."

It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

"I think I got a leg that time!"

"I'm hoping all I got was a leg," was Book's reply.

They were supposed to be in the infirmary. Not in a shack, rain pouring down outside, punctuated by the occasional gunshot as Mal and Book caught sight of one of the rustlers through the boarded up windows and took aim.

"How you doin, there, Zoe?"

"Just fine, sir," Zoe growled between grit teeth.

"Good to hear."

"Okay—we're almost there," Simon said, almost to himself, from between Zoe's knees.

"Um... Push? Isn't that what they say in all the vids? Push?"

"This ain't the damn mule... stuck in the mud, Husband."

"Sorry—sorry. Is there anything I can do—honey, okay, that's my hand. Okay, ow! Owowowow dumpling, I kind of need my hand to steer the ship—"

"I can see the head!"

"Hear that Zoe, baby! Our baby has a head!"

"Kinda... knew.... that...."

"Oh, right—cause it's—wow. It's. Wow. Okay, I didn't know that could do that."

"Just one more big push. Can you do that for me, Zoe?"

"Think that one's dead?"

"God, I hope so."

"Okay—I can see shoulders—"

"That's blasphemy, Preacher!"

"C'mon, baby—we're almost there. Just one more."

A child's wail drowned out the gunshots.

"Hey, Zoe—she has toes! Oh, look at our beautiful baby's toes!"

"Give me your shirt."

Zoe stretched out trembling arms. Wriggling little thing, swaddled in a Hawaiian shirt, and laid on Zoe's chest.

"Hey there, sweeting."

"Okay—that guy had better be dead, because I am out of ammo."

"We're not done yet."

"There's more? Is there another kid in there?"


"It's not twins or anything, is it? Because we hadn't planned on—"


"There's—stuff. Stuff that was on the inside, that needs to not be on the inside, so it's going to join us here on the outside."

"More fluids?"

"Somebody wanna find out where Kaylee and Jayne are with that damn shuttle?"

"Captain—don't swear in front of my daughter."

It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

But then, it usually did.

"My beautiful baby girl," Zoe said with a smile as she pressed a kiss to a small, pink head.


Monday, December 29, 2003 1:55 PM


Lovely. I chuckled and smiled and grinned, this was just how I could see it happening and you had Wash down *perfectly*. Thanks so much for sharing (minus the body fluids, *dong ma*?) - Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Monday, December 29, 2003 3:43 PM


Oh. My. God. Oh I will read this every day! I can hardly stand it, it's so wonderful! It's fantastic! I'm over the moon. He calls her "dumpling"!!!

Inspired. Fantastic. I have to read it a bunch more.

Monday, December 29, 2003 4:10 PM


Yimini! That's my new happy word... wonderful wonderful stuff! I loves it I does!

Monday, December 29, 2003 4:24 PM



I'm with AMDOBELL; you NAILED Wash (Ow-ow-ow-ow...ROTFLMAO).

Zoe and Wash have a girl! With a head and toes, no less (best get ready to catch Wash when he catches sight of that placenta!). And the bad guys are hosed!

It's a good day!

Tuesday, December 30, 2003 4:06 PM


I loved it!

I even shed a tear for the hawaiian shirt, all in a good cause, brave little floral print...


Thursday, January 22, 2004 10:04 AM


Hilarious. Luv it, luv it!

Saturday, September 25, 2004 6:01 PM


Re-reading it and decided to comment. Sorry for not doing it earlier. Wonderful moments in the story. I especially love all the baby being swaddled in Wash's shirt. WONDERFUL characterizations. I can hear the voices as I read.

Gonna go read something else of yours. PLEASE keep on doing what you're doing. You're just...inspired. Thanks for keeping them flying until the movie.

Fabulous job.

Thursday, September 8, 2005 5:41 AM


that kid has no chance of being normal, not with "unkie jayne" around anyway...

Saturday, November 26, 2005 1:15 AM


OH HELL THIS IS PERFECT! I love it you could write more to acompany it and i would so read it! this is great! "Um... Push? Isn't that what they say in all the vids? Push?"

"This ain't the damn mule... stuck in the mud, Husband."

Loved that part!

Saturday, December 3, 2005 4:18 PM


I love the style for this. The dialogue is in great voice, and all that's said gives a brilliant view of the scene that illuminates the characters a lot more than external description would. Repeating how "it wasn't supposed to happen like this" in short statements and paragraphs througout gives the story a great pace. Excellent.

Sunday, March 11, 2007 10:02 AM


This whole thing was fab - all the voices, just great - but Wash? Wash was perfect.

Monday, October 8, 2007 8:50 AM


Um, might need some extra editing on this for wayward HTML code...


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