Somnambulism - Chapter One
Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Cobb's Folly, Door Struggle


Captain Jayne Cobb stood on the hot, dusty high street in Paradiso on Georgia staring down his opponent. As was the history on Earth That Was, so it was now with gunfight showdowns. They very rarely happened. It was just too easy to gun someone in the back than to face them down man to man. Face to face. But, Jayne Cobb was never a man to back down from anything. That was why he was the captain. His opponent's upper lip was so shiny with perspiration, that Jayne could see it from 20 yards away. The breeze kicked up again, and Jayne's black hatbrim creased slightly in the wind. He never took his eyes off his adversary. "Get 'im Cap'n!" came the slightly shrill cry of Kaylee Fry. She had been in the captain's bed more often than not lately, but, then again, Captain Cobb's bunk never seemed to lack of female companionship. Speaking of companionship, Inara Serra, registered Guild Companion waved a lace and silk handkerchief at him from the second floor of the nearest saloon. Kaylee sent a stabbing glare at the hooker, and then turned just as quickly so that she didn't have to remove her eyes from her beloved captain. "That's right, sir. Get him good." These words were delivered breathily, lustily and with as much sexual meaning as the english language could pack in without getting too dirty. Jayne tipped his hat to Zoe Warren. She had also been sharing his bunk lately, and it was her honor he was protecting today. The man Jayne was having the showdown with seemed to think that Zoe was his personal property for some reason. Captain Cobb meant to see an end to that. "Zoe, see to the kids, will you?" Jayne said, motioning vaguely at a mudpuddle that held two squalling, lanky, dirty boys. One was fair haired and throwing mud at a dark haired young man, who had a fair amount of mud in his mouth. "Wash! Simon! Get out of there this instant!" "Awwww!" they said in unison. Wash turned at the last second and hurled a vast ball of mud into Simon's mouth. "I'll get them." Came a deep, booming voice. A black man with angel's wings and a halo swept up the two boys and flew to the sky, depositing them at Inara's side. He waved to Jayne, and a rainbow flew from the angel's fingers. The rainbow arced to a strange little man who seemed to be waving slices of cheese at Jayne, who ignored him completely. Tumbleweeds, blowing in the hot wind, turned to sheep, who ran full tilt down the street, occasionally stopping to sing a chorus of "Hey Jude". It was very distracting, but Captain Cobb kept his mind on his business. "Thanks Book!" "No problem, son." "Mal Reynolds! I mean to have this out." The man at the other end of the street twitched uncontrollably. Mal, who's voice was incredibly squeaky, cried back "Doesn't have to be this way, sir. I didn't mean anything by it!" "Oh, but you did. If you turn on any of my crew, then you turn on me! You did it to me! Now, Zoe here is going to count to three, and then I'm going to cut you down like the dog you are, follow?" "One!" Zoe didn't hesistate. She never did. "Wait!" Mal Reynolds squealed. "Two!" Zoe said. Jayne could hear Kaylee counting along with her. Mal, not waiting to see how it was going to turn out, slapped leather. He easily had his gun out faster. But not fast enough. Jayne yanked his own gun, and pumped eight shots into Mal Reynolds, who died a horrible and bloody death right there in the street, before Mal even fell down. All of the female crew of the Firefly class transport and cargo hauler Serenity ran to Jayne Cobb, covering him in kisses and singing his praises. He meant to holster his gun, but there was too much money in all of his pockets for anything else to fit. Kaylee handed him a strawberry pie as she kissed his cheek. He stuffed half of it in his mouth. He stopped, suddenly. Through the door of the nearest saloon, there was a pair of red, dangerous eyes watching him. He watched them intently, waiting to see if anything would come of it. Nothing did. The eyes stayed where they were, watching, but not doing anything, so Jayne ignored them and continued to collect his accolades in the form of physical affection, money, and food.

* * *

In his bunk on the ship Serenity, Jayne Cobb, a man with the most mercernary of hearts, shifted in his sleep. If the crew of Serenity knew what he was dreaming, none of them would get a night's sleep so long as he was on the ship. There was one who knew what he dreamed, though. She stood just beside the ladder leading to his bunk. She watched him with eyes that were so red, they were almost glowing. She squeezed the metal ladder so hard, that one..two...three small droplets of blood fell from the edge of her fist onto the floor. Jayne shifted again in his sleep. River Tam, a strange young girl that lived on the ship, sidled over to Jayne's bed. She did something so strange, that Jayne himself, if he were to see it, would be jawlocked in disbelief. No mean feat. River straddled the big man. She reached down, locked her hands behind his head, and lifted him to her. Keeping her eyes closed, she began to kiss Jayne. His body responded, and, as it began to, hers did to, in a strange fashion. She suddenly sunk her nails into his neck, and drew long scratches along the back of his head. She was growling, low, and guttural, in her throat. Jayne's eyes shot open. Jayne Cobb could be called a lot of things. Easily intimidated wasn't one of them. But, when he saw River Tam on top of him, he felt a fear that he usually reserved for only one other thing in the 'verse. Reavers. The young girl's eyes snapped open. The pupils were a deep scarlet color, but not as deep as the black that were where the whites of River Tam's eyes should have been. Jayne was shocked into inaction. But not for long. He tried to manhandle the much smaller River, and that was when she bunched up her fist, and rammed it three times into Jayne's head, knocking him solidly unconscious. She then rose from his bunk, climbed the ladder out of his room, and made her way to her bed. Where she slept soundly.


Tuesday, July 26, 2005 3:20 PM


That was weird. And very original. I liked that the Wash and Simon were little kids throwing mud at each other. That River thing at the end really took me by suprise. I thought this was just a funny tale of what Jayne dreams. Look forward to more.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005 3:53 PM


Well, you definitly have me interested. I love dream sequences, and I think this dream perfectly captures the sub-conscious of Jayne perfectly.

I'd like to see these for each of the characters, if you don't mind. For some reason, I always imagined Simon as a Jedi Knight. Something to keep in mind.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005 3:33 AM


Not sure what to make of this. The dream sequence was funny and I could imagine Jayne having those sort of thoughts but the part with River in it felt like it should have been part of the dream sequence. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Wednesday, July 27, 2005 4:03 AM


Woah!! What's up with River?

I loved the dream sequence. Such a Jayne dream.


- Soul

Wednesday, July 27, 2005 6:27 PM


That was different.
The dream scene was absolutely hilarious. "Cap'n Jayne!" Bwah ha ha! Wonder where you're going with River. I'm interested to see.

Monday, August 22, 2005 7:03 PM


Very cool start... I love dream sequences too...really let's you see inside the mind of the character in a way simple description can't do... Creepy about River and her sleepwalking... interested to read more!

Monday, November 14, 2005 8:40 PM


Manwithpez: I am....speechless. And that don't happen often. In spite of that momentary lack of words, here goes: I freakin' love this starter to your story. Am glad there's more to read, because this just whetted my appetite.

I smiled all the way through this, shades of Ensign Barkely on the Enterprise holodeck dancing in my head, loved Jayne so much for having this fantasy, then got slung back down to reality as River came at Jayne like a reaver. Fave line in a fic full of faves: "He meant to holster his gun, but there was too much money in all of his pockets for anything else to fit." Pure Jayne, for true. Dude! You've got talent. Gonna go read more.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005 11:32 PM


I like it! I'm not sure what it is ... but I like it! Just now catching on to this lovely little piece of fiction. Great job writing Jayne.


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Somnambulism - Chapter Fourteen
It's back...well, this is actually a reposting of a lost chapter. Hey! I just refound it myself!

Somnambulism - Chapter Thirteen
Trap. Hunt. Enemy. Trap

Somnambulism - Chapter Twelve
The Plan, Negotiation, Landing, Hunt

Somnambulism - Chapter Eleven
Wash's Orders, Mal's Revelation, The Other, Captiulation

Somnambulism - Chapter Ten
Mal's Dream. Walt's Problem. River's Regain.

Somnambulism - Chapter Nine
Safety. Recollection. Explanation.

Somnambulism - Chapter Eight
Simon's Dream, Mal's Choice, River's Verdict

Somnambulism - Chapter Seven
Memory, Atavism, Hera

Somnambulism - Chapter Six
History, Discovery, Purpose

Somnambulism - Chapter Five
Malice, Theory, Opportunity