It was two months and one outstandingly successful, yet danger-fraught, heist since Harriet’s disastrous family outing. She’d pretty much settled back into the routine of the Serenity way of life. Her ribs had healed, but the pain of her brothers’ betrayal had not. She figured on that being around for a while. But she could cope with it, surrounded by the, not always content or happy, but certainly loyal, crew of Serenity.

This particular morning, she was kneading dough in the galley when a thought struck her. Tying her large white apron neatly around her waist, she wandered towards the engine room and hovered in the doorway, looking around for Kaylee. She could see two small feet emblazoned with bright green nail varnish poking out from beneath the engine’s superstructure.

“Kaylee?”

“Uh-huh? Right here! Just fixing the” *grunt* “secondary grav. boot . . . . its been playin’ up something awful!”

With a further groan, Kaylee squirmed out from beneath the engine holding a long piece of flexible tubing “Wha’s’up?”

“Not much, but I was just thinking, ain’t it your birthday comin’ up?”

“Yeah! It’s in two days time right enough,” Kaylee’s face shone, “but I didn’t think as anyone ‘ad remember! How did ya?”

“Oh,” said Harriet with faux vagueness, “jus’ this little thing I like to call a memory, you might ‘a heard of it – sorta thought to myself this mornin’ “now, what was I doin’ this time last year?” ‘n’ then I realised I was makin’ your birthday cake! So what’s it to be? I ain’t got no chocolate, and ain’t likely to get none out here in middle of no and where, but I can do ya coffee or lemon . . .”

“Ohh coffee please . . . with walnuts?” Kaylee tried hopefully, Harriet nodded.

“Walnuts ‘s something I can do.”

“Actually,” began Kaylee, “I was thinkin’ about my birthday and all . . . . Wouldn’t it be real shiny to have a party? I don’t mean,” she went on pleadingly, seeing the uncertain look on Hat’s face, “invitin’ folks and such, I jus’ mean for Serenity. We’ve all been workin’ real hard, what with that Alliance near miss last month and all the smugglin’ . . . Wouldn’t it be shiny just to let off some steam?”

“Well,” said Hat dubiously, “I dunno, I mean, the cooking ain’t nothin’, and doin’ party food, well, it’d be fun, but I ain’t so sure as the Captian’ll go for it . . Is it what you’d really like?”

“More’n a little”, said Kaylee.

“And I bet the Doc could do with some steam release and all . . ”, smiled Hat thoughtfully. Kaylee blushed.

“Maybe I was thinkin’ sommat sim’lar, but don’t say nothin’ to no one, will ya?”

“Your secret is safe with me”, grinned Hat, “OK, leave it with me and I’ll talk to the Captain, see if we can’t get him to agree, ‘kay?”

“Oh, Harriet, Thank you! That’s just shiny!” Glowed Kaylee.

“Right – you get back to work and show willin’ and I’ll get started on the cake.”

***

Harriet was stirring something in a large earthenware bowl when Mal came in, looking for some company (not that he would ever admit it, even to himself).

“Hey, watcha doin’?”

“Mixin’ up Kaylee’s birthday cake. You know it’s in a coupla days, don’t ya?”

“I had a vague idea something of that nature were comin’ up, yes.” He smiled and reached for a cup.

“Mal,” said Hat, turning round and wiping her hands on her apron with deliberation, “there was somethin’ I wanted to talk to you about . . .”

“*Tamade*” groaned Mal “Why do I get the feelin’ I ain’t gonna like this?”

“Oh, you’ll like it alright, you’re gonna love it!” Harriet’s sarcasm was manifest.

“Gorramit, woman! All I’m lookin’ for is a decent cup of coffee! Is that the way this here conflab’s goin’?” he sighed playfully and, as though being forced, said, “yes, you make better coffee than Jayne, what d’you want me to say? So does a space monkey as ain’t never made coffee before, I’m hear to tell ya! Look, I just wanna drink the damn coffee, not discuss it!”

Harriet sighed, “hey, I ain’t fishin’ for no compliments, actually this is about something all together different . . . Kaylee just wants a little bitty party for her birthday, is all.” Harriet held her breath, waiting for the come back.

“A what?” Spluttered Mal, “this ain’t no ocean liner party ship, it’s a workin’ boat! Where the hell she get an idea like that?”

“Aw, come on, Mal, she’s only gonna be twenty. Jus’ ‘cos you’re a crusty old man; don’t mean she has to be! Let her have her party. I’ll cook those tiny little pizzas and those chicken protein on sticks – you love them . . .” Harriet was aware her voice had taken on a wheedling tone, but couldn’t help herself. ”Oh *Tamade*! Mal! You know you’re gonna wind up agreein’ eventually, why not embrace the inevitable and enjoy your coffee in peace!”

“Now, you wouldn’t be tellin’ me how to run my own boat, would ya, Harriet?” growled Mal, suddenly steely.

“Oh gorramit, Mal, how’s about you grow up and take advice for a change! Why say no when it ain’t gonna benefit no one?”

“Grow up?” Mal yelled, but it suddenly seemed like too much effort to argue. “Fine, Harriet, but may I just remind you what happened last time we got to birthday celebrating? Ship blew up, Zo and I had those near death experience thingys. Quite a palaver, which you, I might add, weren’t none too happy with neither. But, if you’re willin’ to take that chance, then go ahead, Kaylee can have her party and with my blessin’. Just remember, if there looks to be any need for persons being shot and or blown up, don’t go picking on me!”

“Right then,” said Harriet “if this party calls for a death, I’ll volunteer for ritual suicide to appease the wacky birthday gods! Happy now?”

“Fine!” snapped Mal.

“Good then, fine!” rejoined Harriet and turned to stir her mixture.

Silence filled the kitchen for a while, Mal grumpily slurping his coffee and Hat whisking and measuring. As she returned across the galley from putting the cake in the oven, however, Harriet threw her arms around Mal from behind as he sat at the table and pressed a light kiss on his cheek.

“You’re a good man, Malcolm Reynolds”, she whispered. Mal thought he could probably get used to letting Hat have her way a bit more often if that was the result.

“And I was thinkin’,” she went on cheerfully as if, all this time, the room had been filled with party conversation, “as how we ain’t far from Tolmec, you know, that shiny moon with all the nice lakes? Couldn’t we set down there by the shore and have the party in the cargo bay, with the doors open? A nice summer night, a few streamers, it’ll be more’n shiny! Besides, we ain’t been there in a while an’ the people are right neighbourly, mayhap we can pick up some goods to trade . . ”

“Whatever,” sighed Mal, “but I’m tellin’ you this ain’t gonna go so smooth!” ***

At supper that evening, just as everyone was finishing up, Hat, looking significantly at Mal, said:

“Hang on people, before you go I think the Captain has a little announcement to make . . Mal . . .,” she prompted.

He sighed heavily. “Some folks . . . folks as should actually be mindin’ their own businesses,” he glared beadily at Hat, “have minded me as its Kaylee’s birthday in a few. So, as I understand its her birthday wish, and probably her dyin’ one too if past experience is anything to go by,” he added testily, “we’re havin’ a party”.

“Oh, I love my captain!” squealed Kaylee and hugged him. Mal tried to look moody, but smiled sweetly at her, overcome by her enthusiasm.

“But let me make this clear, anything goes horribly wrong and we end up getting’ blown to smithereens, don’t say as I didn’t warn you!”

“Mal,” sighed Harriet to the others, “seems to think Serenity is cursed.”

“Not cursed in general,” explained Mal, “Just cursed partywise in partic’lar”.

“Well aren’t you just the life and soul!” observed Wash. “Don’t worry Mal, I’ll keep a look out. I’m well versed in disaster scenarios. Oh sure, you say: “it’s a party, what can go wrong?” and before you know it the streamers have caughten alight from a candle and ‘whoomph!’ Bags I party policeman! Nothin’ of a cataclysmic nature gonna happen on my watch.”

“Ain’t it good to know” sighed Zoe “that my husband and my Captain are both insane? Gives me a lovely, shiny feelin’!”

“Well nothin’s gonna spoil my party, I jus’ know it!” exclaimed Kaylee. “And I think as we should all dress up real nice. You know, spiff up a bit? I can wear my layer dress and, Captain,” she grinned at him, struck by a sudden whim of inspiration, “you could wear your Tight Pants! You look so handsome in them!”

Mal groaned, “whoa there, Little Kaylee! Its one thing me sayin’ as you could have a party, it’d be quite another makin’ me get up fancy. Ain’t gonna happen!”

“Now Captain”, chided Inara, ”how can you disappoint you’re public like that? Sure, we’d all like to see you in your terribly fine outfit!”

“Hell yes”, said Jayne, “What’ll you be wearin’, Hat? Bet you scrub up real pretty when you’ve a mind . . ” He leered across the table at her.

Harriet leaned over and took the strawberry tart off Jayne’s plate and passed it to Kaylee with a tutting sound of punishment. Then she smiled. “I thought I might wear a clean apron . . .” she ventured laughing, “or maybe leave it off all together . . .”

“So that’d a’d mean . .. you’d be wearin’ nothin’?” Said Jayne hopefully.

“Noo! I’d be wearin’ my overall dumb-ass!”

“Ruttin’ shame!”

“If we are dressing up,” said Inara “you should too, Harriet. Why don’t you come to my shuttle some time and try on some of my things? Sure, you’re shorter than me, but, otherwise, I reckon we’re about even. I’m bound to have something you can wear.”

“Ok ‘Nara, thanks, I will”, grinned Harriet “It’d be kinda nice to be a little different at the party, you know, not a cook for a spell . . . " Her voice turned wistful.

As they all exited from the galley, Mal tuned to Wash. “Wash, plot a course for Tolmec.” But then he couldn’t help muttering, the voice of doom, “something bad is gonna happen, I know it!”

***

A bare seven hours later Serenity touched down gently in a cornfield on the serene moon, Tolmec. A late summer morning was in progress. Butterflies flitted above the stalks and crickets chirped. Albeit he’d gone to bed a mere five hours earlier, Mal couldn’t resist being up to sample the delights of the very pleasant little moon. As far as the eye could see the golden corn stood waiting, almost craving, the cut of the scythe. Wash came up behind him as he stood at the cargo bay door.

He turned and smiled, “now ain’t that a gladsome sight! Looks like we came at just about the right time. There’s always a fair amount of stuff to be traded at harvest!”

“Its harvest and then some!” Said Wash, looking at the aureate fields. “I guess they ain’t got out this far with the cropping yet.”

“Well,” said Mal, “Lets round up a gang and head into town, see what’s doin’”.

*** The Captain, Zoe, hell the whole of the crew, save Wash who’d stayed behind to tinker and Jayne who didn’t like farm land – something to do with his childhood - wandered along in the dust, heading to farmers’ central. The picket fences and wooden walls of the small town were all around them, but something was up.

“Well, this is just downright eerie!” The captain stopped in the middle of the street turning this way and that. The rest of the crew milled about looking into the hardware store, full of farming implements and the grocers, full of seed and animal feed. Over everything lay a sullen silence.

“Just where the *diyu* is everyone at?” demanded Mal, to no one in particular. Zoë, squintin’ down the bright street, gestured to the saloon doors of a scruffy looking bar, from which a pair of booted, turned-up feet protruded.

“I think there’s one of ‘em, right there, Sir,” she said.