Pretty Swai on My Firefly(sung to tune of Offspring’s “Pretty Fly”)

By TenthCrewMember

Got to save his mei-mei, (translation: sister)

Uh huh uh huh

Got to save his mei-mei,

Uh huh uh huh

Got to save his mei-mei,

Uh huh uh huh

And all this Kaylee says “He's pretty swai on my Firefly…” (translation: handsome)

Tell me its suo-yo duh doh dhr-dang. (translation: all that’s proper.)

You know it's kind of hard

Just to make it in the Black

My Doctor isn't cool

And we can’t just send him back

He may just be a boob

And he may not have style

But everything he lacks

Well he makes up when he smiles.

There’s no debate, I’m sure he’s straight

I know he really doesn't get it anyway

He's gonna pay twelve bits, and miss his hits

On me no way, on me no way

The last girl, I see…I guess we’re not “we”,

Least he'll know he can always hide on Serenity

This girl needs his “top 3”, so

Hey, hey do that bao bei thing (translation: darling)

Got to save his mei-mei,

Uh huh uh huh

Got to save his mei-mei,

Uh huh uh huh

Got to save his mei-mei,

Uh huh uh huh

And all this Kaylee says “He's pretty swai on my Firefly…”

Needed a transport

Not just any would suffice

It would have to be luh suh (translation: shitty)

So he packed River in ice

Now cruising in this mid-bulk, he sees Reavers as we pass

But if we look twice

They're gonna eat his lily ass

We can't relate, gosh is he straight?

I know that I really won't get it anyway

I oughtta play the field, and keep it real

For him no way, for him no way

So if he don't rate, just think of Bester’s “date”,

At least I'll know I can always fix things up great

But I love this M.D.

Hey, hey do that “my bunk” thing

Now he's getting a disguise yeah

He's gettin' deals done

He said I was pretty, gorram! Gettin’ drunk is fun

Crew says I’m trying too hard

And he's not quite hip

But in my own mind

He's the he's the shiny trip!

Got to save his mei-mei,

Uh huh uh huh

Got to save his mei-mei,

Uh huh uh huh

Got to save his mei-mei,

Uh huh uh huh

Tell me its suo-yo duh doh dhr-dang.

Is it too late? When will we date?

You know he really won't get it anyway

He's in the medical field, and keeps me healed

Dumb fed no way, dumb fed no way

But if I don't rate, and can’t match his rich taste

Least I'll know I can always go to Inara’s place

This girl thinks he’s jing zi (translation: ingenious)

Oh, but nah mei guan-shee (translation: that has nothing to do with it)

He’ll get some but quietly

Hey, hey do that bi zuie thing (translation: shut up)