Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Another in my occasional series of OC-free ficlets, so anyone can read. Mal and Jayne, with River and Zoe cameos. Mal makes an assumption ... Very silly, but enjoy! Oh, and definitely set after Our Mrs Reynolds ...


There are many things that Jayne could be called, but ‘bright’ isn’t usually the first that comes to mind. ‘Big’ is normally the first reaction. Then – depending on whether it’s a man or a woman – it tends to be ‘wouldn’t want to meet him alone in a dark alley’, while others think ‘he just oozes sex’. Admittedly some people think both, but it’s a big ‘verse, and … well, you get my drift.

Anyway, then most folks follow it up with the assumption that his muscles are more evolved than his intellect, and on the odd occasion one or three of them lose the ability to assume ever again.

Right now, of course, he’s enjoying the feeling of superiority.

“Jayne, are you gonna get us outta here?”

“Thinking on it, Mal.”

“Can you think a little faster?”

“Not sure.”

“Not sure?”

“Nope, Mal. Seein’ as there’re people around here who think I ain’t got two brain cells to rub together.”

“I never said that.”


“Well, maybe I did, but that don't mean you can just ... stand there.”

“I seem to recall you also sayin’ I wasn’t much use for anything else.”

“Has it occurred to you that if they catch you they’ll put you in here with us?”

“I ain't the one locked up – I can stroll back to Serenity any time I like. ‘Sides, I figure it’s worth it to kinda gloat.”

“Can you do that after you bust us out?”

“Nah. Easier like this.”

“I was annoyed. Folks say a lot of things they don’t mean when they’re annoyed.”

“You still annoyed, Mal?”

“Not currently.”


“Jayne, open the gorram door.”

“You gonna apologise?”

“Jayne ...”

“Sir. They're going to wake up soon.”

“I can't see why he knocked ‘em out if he wasn’t planning on –”


“Fine. Tzao gao.”


“I'm sorry.”

“Not to me, sir.”

“Jayne ... I'm sorry for being annoyed with you.”

“And the rest?”


“Told you.”

“I know.”

“Told you it was a trap.”

“I know.”

“That they was lying in wait.”

“I know.”

“That they’d been tipped off by –”


“Yeah, Mal?”

“Open the yuh bun duh door before I take it into my head to shoot you.”

“You ain’t got your gun.”


Yeah, Riv?

Open the door.

Aw, Riv ... can't I have a little fun?


“ Okay, Mal, my finer feelings have gotten the better of me. And I ain’t sure I’d be able to explain to Kaylee that I left Zoe to get hanged.”

“Thank you. I think. Although ...”

“What, Mal?”

“I have to ask.”


“Why are you wearing the dress?”

“It was my turn.”

“You’ve got a goatee.”

“You ever been to Barbertown before?”

“Point – I'm very much afraid – taken.”

And with that the big man springs the cell door and leads the way out of the jail back into the sunlight where River is waiting ready with the hovermule.

Just about says it all, doesn’t it?

A.N. By the way, INDIGO is not dead. I shall be getting back to that now that my inter-hiatus Castle story is completed, but this little thing above got into my brain and insisted I write it out ... Jane


Wednesday, September 28, 2011 11:07 AM


what the... I have to ask where did the dress come from?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011 11:14 AM


I can just see Jayne standing there, putting Mal through his paces before he's willing to act. Made me smile.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011 12:39 PM


Just because someone was a sixth grader who only set foot in a one-room classroom to steal lunch money doesn't mean they can't have some cunning.

In their own way. On their own time.

Thursday, September 29, 2011 3:47 AM


I so see the actors going back and forth when I read this dialogue. I can picture Jayne's big shit-eating grin, and Mal getting all fed up and agitated.....good fun!

Thursday, September 29, 2011 4:10 AM


As always....loved it.Pretty funny River being in Jaynes head.

Sunday, October 2, 2011 3:11 AM


This did make me chuckle and nice for Jayne to get to let the 'air circulate' in his shiny dress for a change. I can't help thinking though that gloating like that to get a sorry out of the Captain may come back and bite him in the ass at some future point. Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"

Sunday, October 2, 2011 10:57 AM


Short but really nice and fun. Enjoyed the whole thing.

Thanks! I love Jayne.

Sunday, November 27, 2011 6:55 PM


Wonderfull Wounderful job :)


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