BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - HUMOR

JANE0904

Timing
Monday, June 20, 2011

The latest addition to my occasional forays into Rayne fic, and very silly too! Mal guest stars ... No OCs, so can be read by everyone. And it's not my fault if you have dirty minds ...


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1631    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

“Jayne. Jayne! Gorramit, where is that man? Jayne, you in there?”

“Uh ... yeah, Mal.”

“Are you sick or something? ‘Cause it’s dinnertime, and you’re usually first at the trough to get more than your ... ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng! What the hell’s going on here?”

“Uh ... nothing.”

“Nothing? A sight like that ... could make a man go blind. Or have a heart attack. Let alone put him off his food!”

“It’s natural, Mal.”

“Ain’t nothing natural about that. River! River!”

“Yes, jia yan?”

“Okay, now I know you’re planning on me dying from apoplexy, creeping up on me like that.”

“You called me.”

“And for a good reason. Untie your husband.”

“But he’s not ready to be –”

“River.”

“Yes, captain.”

“And don’t try those puppy dog eyes on me. You know I’ve been hardening my heart ‘gainst ‘em.”

“Uh ... Mal ... don't say hard.”

“Jayne, you stay outta this. River, deal with him. And make him put on some clothes.”

“Your cousins Vinnie and Harry found you in just such a position during the war.”

“That ain’t the same thing at all! And it’s personal, ‘tross. You shouldn’t be peeking.”

“Sauce for the goose –”

“If’n you want to be doing the septic vat for the foreseeable, you just finish that sentence.”

“Yes, captain.”

“And pre-emptive meekness is a no-no, too.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be apologising. Just get him out of that predicament afore he wastes away from hunger.”

“Ain’t much likelihood of that, Mal.”

“Jayne, don’t do that.”

“What, this?”

“Gorramit. I swear you’re trying to put me into an early grave ...”

...

“He gone?”

“Yes, Jayne.”

“Well, you’d better let me up.”

“Not yet.”

“Riv, I’m hungry.”

“I'm enjoying the view.”

“You are?”

“Mmn.”

“”Cause you’re looking at my best side.”

“Each side is my Jayne’s best side.”

“S’nice. But my belly’s rumbling so much it thinks my throat’s been cut.”

“Then we should go into dinner. But I have something else to try later.”

“Yeah? Only the ropes’re chafing a touch.”

“Then you will be happier with what I found.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“Handcuffs ...”

COMMENTS

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 5:36 AM

BLUEHANDEDMENACE


Only possible response is "Hee Hee Hee"

"Uh...Mal...don't say hard" ROFL

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 9:37 AM

AMDOBELL


River, you minx! It would have to be that Jayne was hogtied for him to be late to a meal. Ali D :~)
"You can't take hthe sky from me!"

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 1:07 PM

TRAINBANDIT


Good writing! Funny as well. Can't wait to see more from you.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011 4:12 AM

ANGELLEMARCS


So bad.... Yet, so funny too. Need sequel with handcuffs. :P

Monday, November 28, 2011 3:29 PM

IWANTOMARRYWASH


sequel needed.... :)


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